My name is Christy Fowler,
And I've been a marriage and family therapist for 30 years now.
And one of the things I've come across quite a bit is.
.
.
People needing to heal from family trauma.
Whether it be from their mom or their dad.
Or the system itself.
And this can be a really difficult one because when we're kids,
It's so confusing.
Why would mom treat me this way?
Why would dad treat me this way?
I don't get why they couldn't see me and give me what I desperately craved from them.
And one of the important things to understand is they were just operating out of their wounds.
I'm not giving them an excuse.
They did the best that they could at that time.
Even if that wasn't very good.
And now you're here to do your healing.
Because one of the things that I'm a big believer in is that we can heal these traumas so that we do not have to pass them down to our children and we do not have to live with that pain.
So I want to walk you through a visualization.
I want you.
To take a moment.
And I want you to go back when you were a kid.
And find a moment when you needed your parents to be there for you.
Maybe you needed them to stand up for you.
Maybe you needed to get away from them.
Before they harmed you.
Pick any event.
You can start with something smaller and safer.
And then rewatch this and go to bigger events.
You will spill safely.
You will feel contained.
Once you've got this,
Event in your mind.
I want you to close your eyes.
I want you to plant your feet on the floor.
I want you to take a deep breath.
In just for a moment.
I want you to visualize that experiencing that experience.
Happening.
I want you to feel the emotions.
I want you to see yourself as that child.
I want you to see the room around you,
Whatever that is.
Whether you're outdoors,
You're inside.
And feel what it is that you are wanting and needing in that moment.
Now I want the adult version of you.
The person you are today.
I want you to walk into that scene.
I want you to see that little version of you.
I want you to walk up to them.
I want you to look them in the eye.
And I want you to tell them you're here now.
Tell them you've got them.
And that they're safe.
And now I want you to put that child maybe behind you.
And protect that child the way he needed to be protected.
If you need to say something to your parents.
If you need to take an action to protect,
Take that action.
Make sure you say everything you need to say.
Do every action that you need to do.
And once you are done.
I want you to.
Take the holds of the hands.
Of that little you.
I want you to pick them up.
And walk them out of whatever room you're in.
Or whatever space you're in.
Once you are out of that space.
I want you again to look them in the eye.
Tell them how much you love them.
Tell them that they're safe.
Again,
Tell them everything they needed to know.
Everything they needed to hear.
Give them a hug.
And walk out of the scene.
You can open your eyes now.
Taking another deep breath.
And feeling whatever it is that you feel in your body.
Scan yourself from head to toe.
Is there anything else that you need?
Again.
You might need to do this visualization a few times.
But this is a way to go back.
And safely heal.
From traumatic moments in your childhood.
That you haven't been able to heal yet.
This is a powerful exercise.
And I trust that you feel the difference already.
In just taking these few moments.
To take care.
And heal that part of you.
That ass felt so wounded.
Way to go in taking your power back.
And showing up for yourself.
In a way.
That maybe you've never had before.
You've got this.
