Dealing with Negative Comparisons

Enjoy this encouragement on how to handle negative comparison. We all do sometimes have thoughts which focus on not doing well compared with another person, a group of people, or people in general. However, you don't need to get stuck in this destructive cycle. In this talk we learn how to focus on your own journey, story, and uniqueness so you can enjoy and live your life to the fullest according to your unique circumstances.

Transcript

Hello friend,

This is Joseph here.

I trust that you're doing well and you're in good health.

Well,

Today I wanted to share something important with you.

Something I've titled,

The poison of comparison.

You know,

As humans we have the tendency to try to,

You know,

Categorize things,

Put them neatly into,

You know,

Different categories,

So I guess it's easier to compare them and all of that.

Which,

There's nothing wrong,

You know,

Nothing inherently wrong with doing that.

But,

I think sometimes we get into this habit of comparing ourselves to other people,

You know,

Our journey to other people's journey,

And by so doing sometimes we look down on ourselves and we compare ourselves and we're like,

Oh,

How come so and so has got everything going for them,

You know,

Everything is great and I'm sort of stuck here,

I'm not making any progress,

And,

You know,

You end up throwing a pity party and just being depressed and all of that.

And so I feel like I wanted to speak to that,

You know,

A few things I want to say on that.

Is that one,

You know,

You need to be kind to yourself.

That's very,

Very important.

Although we are doing life together,

We're running different races,

You know,

We are all not in the same race,

We're all not in the same journey.

You know,

Some started 20 years ago,

Some started 5 years ago,

Everybody is in a different journey.

And so it would be wrong to compare yourself to somebody who started,

You know,

20 years ago or 5 years ago.

But,

Even with that,

We are all running under different circumstances,

You know.

Some are born rich,

Some are not,

You know.

Some may be born rich but they are dealing with some kind of sickness or some crazy family dynamic that you are not experiencing.

But if you always compare yourself to people in that sense,

Then you're always going to feel like there's something you're missing and so,

You know,

You feel depressed and all of that.

I want to encourage you this day that be kind to yourself,

Don't compare your chapter 1 to somebody's chapter 20.

That's not fair,

You know,

You're not being fair to yourself,

Okay.

Compare your chapter 1 to somebody's chapter 20,

That's not being fair,

It's just what it is,

You know.

It's like asking a second grader to write like a college student,

It doesn't make any sense.

So,

Be kind to yourself.

And another thing I wanted to also point out is that not only do you have to be kind to yourself,

But you need to focus on your story,

Your journey,

Your direction,

Your style,

Whatever that you are.

We are all not the same,

We're different,

You know,

Look at your fingerprints.

You're unique,

You're fashioned differently than everybody else.

Nobody in this world has got your eyes,

Your nose,

Your figure,

The way God put you together.

You're unique,

You know,

And I think sometimes we focus too much on,

Oh,

I don't look like so and so,

I don't look like this person,

You know.

You don't have to look like them,

Okay.

And don't be swayed by,

You know,

What we see in the media and print and all of that,

You know,

The human definitions of what constitute,

You know,

Beauty and all of that.

I've met a lot of people,

Very beautiful people,

You know,

But they feel like,

Oh,

Well,

Yeah,

If I could weigh like,

You know,

10 pounds lighter,

You know,

Then I'd be beautiful.

Beauty is not an outward thing only,

You know,

It's a complete set of what's inside and what's outside.

Are you a beautiful person on the inside,

You know,

Trust me.

And I've also met people who physically they look beautiful,

But you can't deal with them because they've got a very,

Very nasty attitude.

Don't conform to those kinds of things,

Oh,

If my hips were wider or,

You know,

Shorter,

Whatever it is,

Or if my hair looked like this,

Or if I had enough money.

Everybody's different.

Focus on your story.

Everybody's got a story that's unique,

You know.

It's just amazing if you spend time sitting with people and hearing their stories,

Where they came from and where they are now.

It's just incredible.

You've got a story that you need to focus on.

Don't focus on anybody's story,

Anybody's direction.

Their direction is not your direction.

You've got your own journey,

You know.

You've got your own journey that you need to focus on.

Quit following your friend's direction,

Family members,

And sometimes even parents' expectations.

Oh,

You've got to be this,

You've got to be that.

You've got a story and you've got a unique direction.

We're all not the same.

You know,

An interesting thing that I noticed several years ago,

It's like,

And you can try this at home if you have a printer.

You know,

Print something for the first time,

And when you print it,

Take that print out and go scan it.

Scan it several times.

You're going to notice something interesting.

The more you scan it,

The more the quality goes down.

What am I saying here?

The point I'm trying to make is this.

There's only one original,

Which is you.

If you try to follow somebody's story,

Somebody's journey,

Somebody's direction instead of your own,

You end up being a cheap copy of whoever you're following.

You don't want to be a cheap copy.

You want to be authentic.

You want to be genuine.

You want to be yourself.

Don't follow anybody's story.

Follow your own,

Your own journey.

That makes you unique.

You're unique in every way.

Look at your fingerprint.

Look at everything.

You're the only person who does things the way you do.

The earlier you focus on some of these things,

The better.

Because you're going to work on you,

Refining you,

Not at anybody,

But you,

So that you can be the best that you can be.

Lastly,

I want to say,

If you're going to compare,

Compare yourself to yourself,

Where you were yesterday versus where you are now.

If you like it,

Then great.

Keep forging ahead.

Keep the great work.

If you don't like it,

Then guess what?

You're responsible for making that change.

You're in your own life's driver's seat.

You're responsible for making that change.

So make that change.

Compare yourself to yourself,

Where you were yesterday and now.

Make that change.

That's important.

Don't compare yourself to somebody else because they've got a different journey than you.

Are you going to spend all your time following somebody and in the end realize,

Man,

I was going the wrong direction?

Don't do that.

It reminds me of a funny story.

I was driving one time and there was a detour.

Instead of focusing on where I was going,

It was like,

Oh,

There was a taxi cab in front of me.

I thought,

Yeah,

They run around this city.

They pretty much know everywhere.

So I'm just going to follow this taxi cab.

Maybe it'll get me to the main road where I'm going.

To my surprise,

I followed a few turns and then after that,

They end up in some place where now I don't even know where I'm at,

Where I'm going.

The lesson here,

Follow anybody's journey.

Follow your own journey.

Stop comparing yourself because in the end it becomes poisonous.

You're not comparing apples to apples.

You're dealing with different circumstances and different situations.

You're busy comparing things that are not in the same category,

Same circumstances.

So please,

This is my encouragement to you.

Follow anybody's journey.

Quit the poisonous comparison.

Be content.

At some point,

You can get all the money in this world.

It's not going to make you happy.

So stop comparing yourself.

If I could make more money like so and so,

If I could look beautiful like so and so,

If I had more clothes,

If I had more investments,

If I had more houses,

Whatever it is,

It's not important.

Just keep the main things,

The main things.

Focus on your story,

Your journey because you're unique.

You don't want to be a cheap copy of anybody.

All right.

Well,

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Reviews

Beautiful Joseph. Not sure who said it but “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I’ve gotten so much better about this and have turned my mind into my own journey. Comparison leaves you feeling jealous, pressured and unfulfilled- being fair and kind to yourself- practicing gratitude especially is so much healthier.

Such an important and compelling message for all to remember paired with the strength in your voice and the beauty of you gorgeous music 🎶 🎵 Thank you, Maestro Joseph Nimoh!

Very helpful thank you. I might need listen to this 100 more times.

This was such a beautiful reminder! Thank you for this lovely meditation! 🧘‍♀️

Thank you Joseph your words are so encouraging! Sometimes I just need to hear words like that for extra inspiration

I really enjoyed this talk Joseph. Thank you for your tips and advice (and the beautiful music too). Much appreciated. 🙏🥰

What a great reminder that we are all unique & on our own journey & to focus inward with kindness towards ourself. Thank you, Joseph.

Thanks Joseph 🤗💕 I really needed to hear this today, so much that I will listen a second time. Wise words, my man! Peace and ease to you❣️☮️🌈💜