The Power Of Realistic Affirmations

Many of us have tried repeating affirmations like “I attract abundance effortlessly”—but deep down, they just don’t feel true. And that’s the problem. In this talk, we dive into why affirmations often fail and how to make them truly land in your subconscious.

You’ll learn how to: Spot and release affirmations that feel fake or forced. Use “believable language” to work with your subconscious, not against it. Craft Realistic Affirmations that feel grounded and empowering. Build momentum by stacking small, honest statements that lead to big change.

This is a refreshing take on the power of words—rooted in my own practice of it, honesty, and emotional alignment. If you’ve ever felt frustrated that affirmations “don’t work for you,” this talk will shift your entire perspective.

Ideal for anyone exploring self-talk, mindset, manifestation, and the real language of transformation.

José Castorena

Transcript

Well,

This is actually my first live in English.

Thank you so much for connecting.

I am recording this as well as an audio.

Thank you so much.

This is my first live in English.

This is so exciting and the topic that I love,

This topic,

Which is about affirmations and most importantly,

Affirmations that are more realistic,

Okay?

I want to begin by saying thank you to everyone who is connecting right now.

Thank you so much.

Let me see who is here.

Be nice.

Oh my God,

I love your name.

From Southern California,

Thank you so much for connecting to this live.

And who else is here?

Let me see.

And Nancy from San Diego.

Thank you so much to you both.

There are nine people who registered for this live.

First of all,

Let me tell you,

I am originally from Mexico.

So if you listen to a very strange accent,

Of course,

This is my second language.

This is not my mother tongue.

But let's begin.

Let's begin with this topic,

Which I named the power of realistic affirmations.

We know that affirmations have become very popular very recently,

In this era,

In this time especially,

Okay?

But usually the affirmations,

Even in English,

I use both Spanish and English.

So even in English,

I have heard affirmations such as,

I attract abundance easily and effortlessly.

I am a magnet for money.

I am a magnet for the perfect couple.

Or affirmations like,

I attract abundance into my life every single day in increasing quantities and so on and so.

So there is a problem with those affirmations and many people,

Many times,

They say these affirmations and they are using them every day,

Even on a very consistent basis,

Alright?

Even with using magic sequences or sequence numbers,

Okay?

Like three,

Six,

Nine,

The Tesla sequence,

Three times in the morning,

Six times in the midday and nine times before going to bed.

But they are not seeing any results and they,

Then the tendency that I have seen in my work and my personal consultation is that they stop believing that the affirmations work because precisely they are not using realistic affirmations first.

We know that there is,

After so many studies as well,

Thousands and thousands of studies,

They have discovered that there are several minds,

Let's just call them that way.

There is the conscious,

The subconscious,

The unconscious,

Supraconscious minds,

Okay?

Now the thing is that they have discovered psychologically that we are ruled by what the subconscious mind is feeding on every day in our lives.

So many years ago,

Let me tell you this story.

This is a personal story.

Many years ago,

In the 90s,

I used to complain about everything.

I was living in Mexico City,

Now I live in Northwest Mexico,

Yeah?

In Sonora,

Very near Arizona.

I used to live in Mexico City.

Mexico City is a very chaotic city,

Right?

And within that chaos,

Yeah,

Traffic,

People shouting at each other every day,

I used to complain about my life,

About everything.

I used to complain about the traffic,

About the money that I didn't have,

About my job,

The job I had then.

I used to complain about the relationship that I didn't have.

I used to think that I was going to end up my life alone,

You know,

And sick,

And,

You know,

The worst of the worst in my mind.

And therefore,

The circumstances in my life were very congruent to these complaints,

Yeah,

That I had every day.

But then one day,

One person told me that I should change the way that I express myself,

All right?

One day,

I started studying massage therapy to become a massage therapist because I saw an ad in a magazine,

In a magazine for entertainment in Mexico,

Mexico City specifically,

Where you can see,

You know,

All the gigs that are going on,

All the theater plays,

All the music events in Mexico City on the weekends.

So I used to buy this magazine,

I saw this ad of this diploma course in massage therapy based on Ayurvedic Indian medicine.

And so I thought,

Oh my God,

This calls me so much,

This calls my attention so much,

I'm going to go,

I'm going to interview,

And I want to apply for this.

So I registered,

I was accepted,

And there I met this teacher.

He was my first mentor,

And he was the one who told me,

You need to change the way you speak,

First of all,

All right?

So he recommended me reading some books,

And I ended up changing,

Yeah,

What I said,

Because I started reading the first book that Louis Hay published,

All right?

Heal Your Body,

Yeah,

Heal Your Life.

I loved it,

And then I saw the affirmations,

And then I started repeating the affirmations,

And I didn't see any change,

Because many of those affirmations were not really congruent to what was going on in my life,

All right?

I used to say,

My body is perfect,

My life is perfect,

Even though the recommendations were,

All right,

No matter the circumstances,

Just say this,

And then one day you will convince your subconscious mind,

And then you will thrive,

You will start seeing the results,

All right?

And then it didn't seem to work for me,

All right?

But then,

One day,

I started asking questions,

And asking the first question was,

Why is this not working for me?

And,

Let me tell you this,

This is so important,

Your questions are affirmations too.

I asked that question,

I remember this very closely,

I asked this question,

Why am I saying,

Yeah,

I'm saying the affirmations,

Yeah?

I am trying to change certain habits,

And I'm saying the affirmations punctually,

You know,

Three times,

Six times,

And nine times during the day.

Why is it not working for me?

And then I noticed,

My main mindset,

Okay,

The main mindset,

And the phrase that represented my mindset then,

Was,

These affirmations are not working for me,

Okay?

So,

I was saying on one hand,

On one side,

I was saying,

My life is getting better,

My life is perfect,

But,

I was saying those affirmations only for five minutes.

But the rest of the time,

Right?

The rest of the day,

I used to spend all that time,

All those hours,

Thinking,

Yes,

I'm saying the affirmations,

But they're not working for me.

Why aren't they working for me?

I see everyone,

I was seeing everyone thrive,

Everyone around me.

Has this happened to you?

That you see that everyone,

A friend,

Or a non-friend,

Or a neighbor,

Yeah,

Is having great results,

You know,

And you are not,

And then you notice that,

Okay?

Then,

I noticed,

This is my real affirmation.

My real affirmation is,

That I am usually spending most of my time thinking negatively about my life.

Saying within my mind,

In the inner conversation,

Okay?

Saying,

Oh my God,

This is not working for me.

Why is it not working for me?

You see?

It was a great epiphany,

A great,

The way you said,

Aha moment,

Okay?

It was an amazing aha moment for me,

Because then I noticed,

That there are conscious affirmations,

Which don't have the real power to enter the quantum field and reflect,

Yeah?

Send the message back to me and work in my life,

Affect my life.

There were subconscious affirmations,

Things,

Negative things,

That I was thinking constantly,

And then,

Within my thoughts,

There was this inner conversation,

Asking this question.

Why is it not working for me?

So,

That was,

This is the aha moment,

Because I noticed,

And I started listening to myself,

All right?

One of the most important things,

Hey,

Hi Jacqueline,

Thank you.

Thank you for being here.

One of,

I was saying,

One of the most important things,

That we must really,

Really pay attention to,

Is not the affirmation that someone,

You know,

Like even someone who has made it in life,

Okay?

Someone who has been successful already,

Is saying.

Because they can say the affirmation,

All right?

And they can feel and they actually represent with their being,

Because they are being that already,

Okay?

We listen to their affirmations and then we try to emulate the affirmation and say it within the circumstances that we are living right now.

But our mind doesn't believe that,

Because your circumstances are not reflecting that yet.

And this is the deal.

If you listen to yourself,

And then you say the affirmation constantly,

And then you feel something different within yourself,

You feel the vibe,

The vibration of those words,

And then you feel that you are there,

That you think that this is really possible for you,

For some minutes,

But then the rest of the day you go back to your life,

You go back to,

We call it what?

You go back to reality,

Okay?

Then you are actually cheating yourself constantly,

Blocking yourself,

Self-sabotaging,

Call it whatever you wish.

But you are creating immense walls between what you wish,

What you desire,

And where you are right now.

So,

The first epiphany is to understand that we must listen to ourselves in our inner conversation.

What are you saying to yourself right now?

Besides those five minutes,

Besides those five,

Ten,

Thirty minutes of meditation,

What are your thoughts the rest of the day?

What's your inner conversation the rest of the day?

All right?

What are you paying attention to constantly?

And,

What you are paying attention,

Are you aware of that?

Are you becoming aware of what you constantly say about the situation?

Yeah?

So,

The affirmation,

And what are you saying,

When?

This is cognitive behavior therapy,

Where a person uncovers the underlying belief that stands in the way of freedom,

Peace.

Yes,

Yes,

When?

Yeah,

Yeah,

It's actually that.

Cognitive behavior therapy.

Yeah,

The thing is,

To become aware of what's your inner dialogue.

The way I became aware with a question I was calling myself.

Why aren't my affirmations working for me?

All right?

If they are working for others,

Why aren't they working for me?

So,

I started asking other questions.

More or better quality questions.

Okay?

Like,

What can I do to make my affirmations match my reality?

All right?

What can I do right now to make my affirmations match my reality?

So then,

My brain,

This is what's going to happen.

Once you start asking,

Like,

Very,

Very down to earth questions.

Okay?

Because the affirmation of affirmations is going to be your actions.

Okay?

I started calling them affirmactions instead of affirmations.

All right?

It's something I'm going to write in here.

Turn affirmations into affirmations.

Oh my God,

I put a double A in there.

Sorry.

So,

What can I do to make my affirmations match my reality?

So,

I noticed immediately as I was living alone,

And I had a mess in the apartment I was living in.

I was not even living in my own apartment.

I was living in my sister's apartment and her husband's.

I was just being,

Living there in a room,

In a spare room that they had.

But in that room,

I had a mess in that room.

So,

I was actually commanding to the universe,

Sending the command.

All right?

Sending the order to bring perfection in my life.

You see?

My life is perfect.

I attract the perfect partner.

Yeah?

Always saying this word,

Perfect.

But then,

I turned my attention,

Once I asked the question,

What can I do to make my affirmations match my reality?

I noticed in my reality,

In my circumstances,

Immediate circumstances,

That I needed to change the way I lived.

And the way I lived began with order in my room.

Okay?

I had clothes piled up on the bed.

I didn't make the bed because I used to get up very early in the morning to be able to get to my job on time.

I,

For the ones who have been in Mexico City,

I used to live in the north,

In the north of Mexico City,

And my job was totally in the south.

And you know that it's more or less a two-hour journey,

Two-hour,

30-minute journey,

Every day,

Commuting.

I didn't have a car.

I had to commute.

And I had to take a bus,

And then the subway,

And then another bus to be able to get on time to my job.

So,

Everything was a mess.

You see?

I chose a city where mess is imperative.

All right?

And I started noticing that then.

Once I changed the affirmation,

Which is a question as well,

Affirmations are questions,

But they have to be quality questions,

Not questions like,

Why me?

Why all the bad guys are always coming to me?

Why do I always find obstacles in my life?

Not those kind of questions,

Because they reinforce the way you think and your mindset for failure.

So,

I started doing that.

So,

The first thing is I noticed my inner conversation and the real affirmations within my mind.

So,

The next question was,

What can I do to match them,

To match what I say,

The high result that I would like to manifest in my life and match my reality right now?

The main question was,

I didn't say it that way,

But the main question was,

Who do I need to be?

This was the actual question.

The more profound question.

All right?

Who do I need to be?

Who must I be to match what I desire to my reality,

To my circumstances?

So,

Then I started folding my clothes,

Ordering,

You know,

Setting order,

Everything,

Set it up in its place.

I started doing something that my first mentor told me through a Japanese friend,

Saying,

What do they call it in English?

Okay,

Baptizing.

All right?

Baptizing a place.

Yeah?

Baptizing meant to determine a place for each group of things.

For example,

Here is going to be,

I'm going to baptize this place to every key,

My keys,

The door,

The keys of the door,

The keys of a drawer,

All the keys are going to be there.

Okay?

All the ornaments of my room are going to be set up in this place.

So,

I started actually ordering physically.

Okay?

Physically.

Because,

Let me tell you this as well,

The first material manifestation in your life,

Okay,

Needs to be manipulated by you.

So,

What do I mean by that?

If you have a mess in your house,

If you have a kitchen and everything is a mess in the kitchen,

So start setting up the kitchen in order.

If the same thing is for the garage,

If there is a room where you stock,

Pile up all the things and it looks like a mess,

Start rearranging.

Okay?

Start doing physical changes.

All right?

Around you so that then our mind,

Through our eyes,

The first brain,

They start seeing this and then they start actually implementing a new setup or a new reset of,

Oh my God,

Mental order.

Mentally,

You will be representing order in your physical world.

This is what I started doing first because I needed my desires represented in my words,

What I wanted,

Okay,

To match the reality.

If I wanted the perfect partner,

All right,

The perfect partner would never get to me if she saw,

In this case,

If she saw a man who had a mess in his house.

Who would like to be with a guy who is a mess?

All right?

You want to be with a guy who has goals,

Who is working towards them,

Who is doing things towards them,

Right?

So I thought that as well to myself,

Oh my God,

That's why the perfect partner is not here and will never be here,

Will never come here to me.

I will never be able to attract a woman who wants to be with a guy like me because I wanted a perfect partner,

You see?

So I started implementing these changes and this started becoming my real affirmations.

This is called realistic affirmations,

All right?

The power of realistic affirmations.

So,

Little by little,

I started building up,

Building up my thoughts,

Not thinking accidentally.

Little by little,

I started building the thought of,

Oh my God,

I think,

I think I deserve,

I think I deserve this result.

All right?

I started being more down-to-earth in my desires.

I used to earn in that moment,

I remember,

Affirmations.

Thank you.

Affirmations.

Oh my God,

That's a great name as well.

Yeah?

Affirmations.

Affirmations,

I love that.

Thank you.

So,

I started building up this thought within my mind of I deserve,

I think I deserve this.

It changed from I have the perfect life from I think I deserve,

I think I really deserve a chance into building up step by step,

Yeah?

A situation that most closely,

Is most closely or is closer to,

You know,

A perfect reality.

Then I noticed that what I was saying,

Yeah?

What I was saying started changing as well.

Instead of saying I am a millionaire and I attract money easily and effortlessly,

I thought,

Oh my God,

But I'm saying effortlessly,

But what about thinking an idea?

Have you noticed that that expression is really not convincing to me?

How can you not make that any effort to attract if everything in nature,

Yeah?

It's actually moving and acting and making an effort.

It doesn't mean if it is a very small effort to have life,

To manifest life itself.

You see?

The seed goes into the ground,

Alright?

And the nature of the seed is to become something,

Alright?

But it is not without effort.

It looks,

It apparently looks that there is no effort in there.

So,

When I started saying I attract abundance effortlessly,

I said no.

Because the way I teach some of my students in Spanish,

In my mastermind,

Is if you are asking for a check of $10,

000,

Alright?

No,

For a gain,

Earnings of $10,

000.

And the check goes home and then you imagine,

You visualize,

You do the whole process and then you say,

I attract this amount of money into my life effortlessly.

Alright?

Does that mean that you don't have to do anything in return?

Does that mean that you don't,

You know,

You don't have to give any service or serve the world in some way or somehow and then receive who is the person,

What is the person who receives that amount of money in return to get that amount of money?

What are you doing,

Yeah,

To deserve this amount of money?

What are you planting?

What kind of seeds are you planting constantly to receive this amount of money?

So,

I didn't receive much for my work.

In Mexico,

You know,

There is a different reality,

Yeah?

Other than the United States,

Here,

You know,

The salaries are super,

Super low as well.

But then I thought,

Oh my God,

What do I have to do to get more money than I'm making right,

Than the one I'm making right now?

And this is,

Once again,

A personal story.

There was this friend whom I met at that job.

I was working for a very low salary and with very poor working conditions.

And there was this friend who just left that job.

Sometime later,

When I started practicing these affirmations,

These new realistic affirmations,

Questioning myself,

Trying to see what do I have to do,

You know,

To change the order in my life,

Be more orderly and everything,

This guy comes to visit to the school I was working.

I used to teach Spanish and French as well to Mexican people,

Yeah?

And to foreigners.

So this friend comes to visit and then he tells me,

Hey,

There is a position at the school I'm working on,

Yeah?

And I want you to come with me,

To work with me in my team.

It was something I resisted first.

I said that year,

No,

I'm happy here.

I was,

Imagine.

I started saying the affirmations.

I manifested the result,

This result.

The result was this person,

My friend,

Showing up and saying,

Come to work with me.

Not for me,

Because he was a coordinator in the French department in a very prestigious school.

Way,

Way better than the one I was working in.

I said,

No.

Can you imagine that?

I was not ready yet.

I kept building up.

The next year,

I kept building up my mindset for success,

Okay?

The next year he came back and then I said,

Oh my God,

Why have I said no before?

Let me just take a leap of faith.

I'm going to say yes.

And then I went for the interview.

Everybody,

Thank God,

Loved me as a teacher then.

And then the people in charge,

They said yes.

And then I started working for them in that very prestigious school.

I used to wear a suit and a tie and everything.

It was that kind of school.

Every single day,

We had to wear very formal clothes to work.

All right?

And the benefits,

The lawful benefits,

The salary was amazing.

I was making five times more.

All right?

I was very happy.

I had many perks as well in the job.

It was one of the best years in my life.

And remember the ones that heard that story that I used to commute two hour and 30 minutes to my other job?

For this job,

I was able to pay for my own apartment and be only 15 minutes away from my work.

Only 15 minutes.

Okay?

This is something that I started then thinking.

I need,

We all must build up step by step our mindset towards the level of affirmations that are such affirmations like I attract money.

I attract abundance.

I attract the perfect partner.

Yes?

Easily and effortlessly.

But that part of effortlessly at least marks one effort that every single day,

You do everything in your power to conquer the subconscious mind.

To distract the subconscious mind from whatever program you learned to be thinking this way.

To be thinking more negative thoughts than positive.

So,

Listen to a podcast.

Listen to affirmations in an audio book or by an author.

Whatever it takes,

You start attacking.

Yeah?

Attacking this subconscious mind which is determined to keep you in the mindset,

Familiar mindset that doesn't allow you to believe in the affirmations that are of high frequency.

You see?

So,

Instead of saying I attract money,

I attract $10,

000,

$100,

000 effortlessly,

Start saying more realistic affirmations.

Okay?

From now on,

I am determined to learn how to manage money.

How to administer.

Yeah?

How to handle wisely the money that I have so I can multiply it.

So I can double my income.

From now on,

I am determined to be more orderly in my life.

Yeah?

From now on,

I am determined to change the way I treat people.

These kind of affirmations are just dedicated to building up,

Building up your mindset so that one of those days you feel like really convinced,

Trustworthy of the high level of affirmations.

Yeah?

That you say when you are deserving,

When you feel deserving of the result.

But everything,

Everything has to do with building up your mindset.

This is the power of affirmations.

Before,

I used to think that I was gonna end up my life alone,

You know,

All wrinkled and everything.

And that's it.

I didn't aim even to have children or have a family.

Nothing.

My relationships were a mess.

Okay?

I just,

I just broke everything.

You know,

I didn't have any success in that department either.

All right?

Not in my health,

In my physical health.

I used to fall sick every weekend.

I was a hypochondriac,

You know.

And everything,

You know,

Even the air,

The change of season.

I said,

Oh my God,

I'm gonna get sick.

Seasons are changing.

All right?

Some drops of water came from heaven or,

You know,

From the sky.

It started raining.

And I thought,

Oh my God,

I'm gonna get sick.

This is what I,

These were my real affirmations.

Things I believed in,

Totally.

And so I had the result.

All right?

In money.

Oh my God,

No,

This is so hard.

I'm never gonna have money.

I'm never gonna be able to enjoy anything.

Never gonna be able to buy a car.

Nothing.

That's it.

All right?

This is my life.

I need to accept it.

Okay?

And partner,

You've heard it.

I have been able to build up stability in those three departments.

All right?

This is the actual power of being very realistic.

And I'm gonna just go along into just these steps that I'm proposing you to follow as well.

First of all,

Listen to yourselves.

Listen to the real affirmations in your inner dialogue.

This is the first step.

Okay?

Step number one,

I'm gonna set it in here.

Listen closely to yourself.

So that you can actually pay attention to the moment that you are going into negative frequency.

All right?

Then you pay attention and in that moment,

Yeah,

In that moment,

Step number two is change the narrative.

All right?

Pay attention to the affirmation you're saying to yourself.

It's like,

In my case,

Why aren't these affirmations working for me?

This is crazy.

Everybody's striving except me.

Do I have bad luck?

Was I born into bad luck?

You see,

The mind starts building up from one single word.

Your mind starts building up from that suggestion.

So I started changing.

What can I do to change this perception of me?

Because it was a perception of me.

I noticed that.

So I set this affirmation in the form of a question.

All right?

What can I do right now to start changing this perception of myself?

So I started,

You know,

Setting everything in order in my room.

And from then on,

I am obsessed with having mental order through the physical order around me.

Okay?

I don't have much around me right now.

There is my cacao shake.

Yeah,

And fruit shake.

I have my notes.

Yeah.

My pen.

And the computer in front of me on my desk right now.

There is nothing else.

Okay?

Let me do an experiment here.

Take the computer.

You want to see?

Okay?

Just a few minutes.

This is my.

.

.

You see?

I am dressed.

I am not like those Zoom calls.

I am a massage therapist.

I am a Thai massage therapist.

I love this technique.

So I have my mat in there.

And here is the room where I am transmitting from.

You see?

This is my office.

And let me show you more.

There is my ancestor's wall.

And there is another furniture where I have my microphone.

I am a minimalist.

But it brings order into my mind every day.

Every day I work.

This is the third step.

Yeah?

This is the third affirmation.

Yeah?

Physical movement.

Yeah?

Physical motion,

Let's just call it.

You need to move.

You need to order things around you so that your mind is resting,

You know,

In this reality.

From this reality,

From this ordered reality,

I start building up my mind into something better.

Step by step.

And then,

Once you start actually feeling that you are different,

Start believing.

Because since you are different,

You start believing.

This is the way it happens in sequence,

At least in my experience.

You become someone different.

You start becoming someone different.

Your perception of yourself changes now.

And now you start believing.

Now you start believing that anything is possible for you.

And so you start paying more attention to those words,

To those high-level frequency words,

Affirmations,

And then you send them out.

Yeah?

Or you send them in,

Because this is actually the same.

All right?

You send them within,

Let's just call it that way.

Yeah,

This toroidal field around us that connects to everything and that is one with everything.

And then,

This vibration,

This constant vibration that you built up for you,

By you and through you,

Starts then reflecting.

All right?

Reflecting like a mirror.

Because the world is only a mirror that is reflecting the message that you are sending in or sending out constantly as your self-perception.

Yeah?

This is the vibe,

The vibration,

The frequency that you are emanating.

All right?

That you are transmitting.

All right?

Every single moment.

So,

These are just,

Well,

Three suggestions,

Three recommendations.

And,

I really thank you all.

Oh my God,

This is the first time,

Let me tell you this,

Guys,

This is the first time that I have,

That we have 35 people connected here.

Thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you so much for connecting.

I don't know,

I don't know how I did it,

But,

Believe me,

This is with the best intention to serve you.

This is not,

This is not,

Remember this,

I am not a guru,

I am not anything like that.

I'm just a person who is building up,

Yeah?

I'm building on my reality and I know that we all have this power.

Your mind and your words are the two presents that this universe,

This God,

If you want to call it that way,

Has given you to build,

To co-create,

All right?

To enjoy this life.

So,

I'm really,

I'm really moved.

35 people today.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

See you guys soon.

God bless you.