Welcome,
I'm James Davis,
A coaching psychologist,
And I specialize in helping people navigate midlife,
Improve their wellbeing,
And create more fulfilling lives.
In today's session,
We're going to explore limiting beliefs,
Those deeply head assumptions about ourselves that can quietly hold us back from doing the things that we really want to do.
So this is for anyone who feels stuck,
Doubts their abilities or find themselves talking themselves out of opportunities before they've even given them a chance.
Sound familiar?
I'm going to share some of the psychology behind limiting beliefs and take you through a practical exercise to help you identify and challenge beliefs of your own.
Now,
Some of these beliefs might be connected to difficult past experiences.
You can reflect on them at your own pace and there's no need to revisit anything that feels too uncomfortable.
OK,
Let's get started.
Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something,
But then you immediately talk yourself out of it?
Perhaps you've thought about changing careers,
Starting that business venture,
Going travelling.
Getting fitter,
Meeting somebody new,
Or just simply doing something that you've always wanted to do but never quite had the confidence to pursue.
Then that little voice appears.
It says things like.
.
.
You're too old.
It's too late.
You're not clever enough.
What will people think?
Oh,
You're probably going to fail anyway.
Before you know it,
You've convinced yourself not to do it.
Well,
Here's something I'd like you to consider.
One of the biggest barriers to change isn't necessarily our circumstances.
Sometimes it's the beliefs that we have about ourselves and what's possible.
So what exactly is a limiting belief?
Well,
Quite simply,
It's a belief that restricts the way we see ourselves,
Other people,
Or the world around us.
And the interesting thing is that many of these beliefs aren't necessarily facts.
They are merely interpretations.
They might have developed through childhood experiences,
Education,
Family expectations,
Relationships,
Or just things that have happened to us over the years.
Yeah,
Perhaps someone told you that you weren't academic.
Perhaps you were criticised a lot for taking risks.
Perhaps you experienced failure and then decided that you weren't good enough.
Or perhaps you've simply spent years comparing yourself with other people and feeling that you come up short.
Over time,
These experiences can become deeply embedded beliefs.
And then once we believe something about ourselves,
We tend to look for evidence that confirms it.
We call this confirmation bias.
For example,
If you believe you're not confident,
You might remember every occasion when you felt nervous and then overlook all the times that you handled yourself brilliantly.
If you believe that you're not good enough,
You might dismiss your achievements and focus entirely on your mistakes.
And this is one reason beliefs can become so powerful.
They influence what we notice,
How we interpret experiences,
And what actions we're prepared to take.
So how do we start breaking free?
I'd like you to try a simple exercise.
Step one,
Identify the relief.
First,
Identify one belief that might be holding you back.
It could be,
I'm not confident enough.
I'm too old to change.
I always get things wrong.
I don't deserve to be successful.
Or perhaps.
.
.
People like me don't do things like that.
Just pick one,
Don't try and tackle everything at once.
Step two,
Question where the belief came from.
Ask yourself,
Where did this come from?
Was it something that somebody said to me?
Did it develop after a particular experience?
Have I simply repeated it to myself for so long that I've started accepting it as fact?
Because sometimes just understanding the origin of belief can help us see it differently.
We can begin to recognise that something we accepted as a truth about ourselves might actually just be an old interpretation of an experience.
Step three,
Challenge the evidence.
Now,
This is the important bit.
What evidence do I have that this belief is actually true?
And perhaps more importantly.
What evidence do I have that it isn't true?
For example,
If you believe you're not confident,
Think about three occasions when you've done something that required courage.
Perhaps you spoke up in a meeting.
Perhaps you dealt with a difficult situation.
Perhaps you started again after a setback.
Those experiences count.
They are evidence your limiting belief doesn't tell the whole story.
Step four,
Create a more helpful belief.
So we want to consider a different belief.
We don't want to make an unrealistic statement that you suddenly have to convince yourself of,
But something that's more balanced.
So,
For example,
Something,
Instead of going,
I'm too old to change,
Try,
I've got more experience than I did 20 years ago,
And I can use that experience to create something different.
I'm not confident you could try something like this.
Confident is something I can develop through practice and action.
Oh,
I always fail.
Try.
Some things haven't worked out,
But that doesn't mean the next thing won't.
And finally then,
Ask yourself,
If I didn't believe this limiting belief,
What might I do differently?
What conversation might I have?
What opportunity might I pursue?
What decision might I make?
What would become possible?
It's a really powerful question.
So here's my challenge.
Don't try to change every belief you have this week.
Choose just one.
Write it down,
Challenge it,
Replace it with something more constructive,
And then take one small action that proves you're capable of doing things differently.
Because ultimately changing belief isn't just about thinking differently,
It's also about creating new experiences that help you see yourself differently.
Remember,
You are not obliged to spend the rest of your life believing everything that you've ever been told about yourself.
Some of these beliefs may have served you once,
But they don't have to define your future.
You have the power and the ability to question them,
Challenge them and choose a different way forward.
Thank you for spending this time with me.
I hope you found it useful and you'll take the exercise away and give it a try.
If you enjoyed today's session,
I'd love to join me again for another practice here on Insight Timer.
So until next time,
Take care,
Keep challenging yourself,
And remember,
Your past doesn't have to dictate your future.
