Winnie the Pooh,
By A.
A.
Milne,
Chapter 1,
In which we are introduced to Winnie the Pooh and some bees,
And the stories begin.
Here is Edward Bear,
Coming downstairs now.
Bump,
Bump,
Bump,
On the back of his head,
Behind Christopher Robin.
It is,
As far as he knows,
The only way of coming downstairs,
But sometimes he feels that there really is another way.
If only he could stop bumping for a moment and think of it.
Anyhow,
Here he is at the bottom and ready to be introduced to you.
Winnie the Pooh.
When I first heard his name,
I said,
Just as you're gonna say,
But I thought he was a boy.
So did I,
Said Christopher Robin.
Then you can't call him Winnie.
I don't.
But you said,
He's Winnie their Pooh.
Don't you know what their means?
Ah yes,
Now I do,
I said quickly,
And I hope you do too,
Because it is all the explanation you're going to get.
Sometimes Winnie the Pooh likes a game of some sort when he comes downstairs,
And sometimes he likes to sit quietly in front of the fire and listen to a story.
What about a story,
Said Christopher Robin.
What about a story,
I said.
Could you very sweetly tell Winnie the Pooh one?
I suppose I could,
I said.
What sort of stories does he like?
About himself,
Because he's that sort of bear.
Oh,
I see.
So could you very sweetly?
I'll try,
I said.
So I tried.
Once upon a time,
A very long time ago now,
About last Friday,
Winnie the Pooh lived in a forest all by himself under the name of Sanders.
What does under the name mean,
Asked Christopher Robin.
It means he had the name over the door in gold letters and lived under it.
Winnie the Pooh wasn't quite sure,
Said Christopher Robin.
Now I am,
Said a growly voice.
Then I will go on,
Said I.
One day when he was out walking,
He came to an open place in the middle of the forest.
And in the middle of this place was a large oak tree.
And from the top of the tree,
There came a loud buzzing noise.
Winnie the Pooh sat down at the foot of the tree,
Put his head down between his paws,
And began to think.
First of all,
He said to himself,
That buzzing noise means something.
You don't get a buzzing noise like that,
Just buzzing and buzzing without its meaning something.
If there's a buzzing noise,
Somebody's making a buzzing noise.
And the only reason for making a buzzing noise that I know of is because you're a bee.
Then he thought another long time and said,
And the only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey.
And then he got up and said,
And the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it.
So he began to climb the tree.
He climbed and he climbed and he climbed.
And as he climbed,
He sang a little song to himself.
It went like this.
Isn't it funny how a bear likes honey?
Buzz,
Buzz,
Buzz.
I wonder why he does.
Then he climbed a little further and a little further and then just a little further.
By that time,
He had thought of another song.
It's a very funny thought that if bears were bees,
They'd build their nests at the bottom of trees.
And that being so,
If the bees were bears,
We shouldn't have to climb up all these stairs.
He was getting rather tired by this time,
So that is why he sang a complaining song.
He was nearly there now.
And if he just stood on that branch,
Crack!
Oh help,
Said Pooh,
As he dropped ten feet on the branch below him.
If only I hadn't,
He said,
As he bounced twenty feet onto the next branch.
You see,
What I meant to do,
He explained,
As he turned head over heels and crashed onto another branch thirty feet below.
What I meant to do.
Of course,
It was rather,
He admitted,
As he slithered very quickly through the next six branches.
It all comes,
I suppose,
He decided,
As he said goodbye to the last branch,
Spun round three times,
And flew gracefully into a gorse bush.
It all comes of liking honey so much.
Oh help,
He crawled out of the gorse bush,
Brushed the prickles from his nose,
And began to think again.
And the first person he thought of was Christopher Robin.
Was that me?
Said Christopher Robin,
In an odd voice,
Hardly daring to believe it.
That was you.
Christopher Robin said nothing,
But his eyes got larger and larger,
And his face got pinker and pinker.
So Winnie the Pooh went round to his friend Christopher Robin,
Who lived behind a green door in another part of the forest.
Good morning,
Christopher Robin,
He said.
Good morning,
Winnie the Pooh,
Said you.
I wonder if you've got such a thing as a balloon about you.
A balloon?
Yes,
I just said to myself coming along,
I wonder if Christopher Robin has such a thing as a balloon about him.
I just said it to myself,
Thinking of balloons and wondering.
What do you want a balloon for,
You said.
Winnie the Pooh looked around to see that nobody was listening,
Put his paw to his mouth,
And said in a deep whisper,
Honey.
But you don't get honey with balloons.
I do,
Said Pooh.
Well,
It just happened that you had been to the party the day before at the house of your friend Piglet,
And you had balloons at the party.
You had had a big green balloon,
And one of Rabbit's relations had had a big blue one and had left it behind.
Being really too young to go to a party at all.
And so you had brought the green one and the blue one home with you.
Which one would you like,
You asked Pooh.
He put his head between his paws and thought very carefully.
It's like this,
He said.
When you go after honey with a balloon,
The great thing is not to let the bees know you're coming.
Now,
If you have a green balloon,
They might think you were only part of the tree and not notice you.
And if you had a blue balloon,
They might think you were only part of the sky and not notice you.
And the question is,
Which is most likely?
Wouldn't they notice you underneath the balloon,
You asked?
They might or they might not,
Said Winnie the Pooh.
You can never tell with bees.
He thought for a moment and said,
I shall try to look like a small black cloud.
That will deceive them.
Then you had better have the blue balloon,
You said.
And so it was decided.
Well,
You both went out with the blue balloon and you took your gun with you,
Just in case,
As you always did.
And Winnie the Pooh went to a very muddy place that he knew of and rolled and rolled until he was black all over.
And then,
When the balloon was blown up as big as the sky and you and Pooh were both holding onto the string,
You let go suddenly.
And Pooh Bear floated gracefully up into the sky and stayed there,
Level with the top of the tree and about 20 feet from it.
Hooray,
You shouted.
Isn't that fine,
Shouted Winnie the Pooh down to you.
What do I look like?
You look like a bear holding onto a balloon,
You said.
Not,
Said Pooh anxiously.
Not like a small black cloud in a blue sky?
Not very much.
Ah,
Well,
Perhaps from up here it looks different.
And as I say,
You can never tell with bees.
There was no wind to blow him nearer to the tree,
So there he stayed.
He could see the honey,
He could smell the honey,
But he couldn't quite reach the honey.
After a little while,
He called down to you.
Christopher Robin,
He said in a loud whisper.
Hello.
I think the bees suspect something.
What sort of thing?
I don't know,
But something tells me that they're suspicious.
Perhaps they think that you're after the honey.
It may be that.
You can never tell with bees.
There was another little silence,
And then he called down to you again.
Christopher Robin,
Yes?
Have you an umbrella in your house?
I think so.
I wish you would bring it out here and walk up and down with it and look up at me every now and then and say,
Tut-tut,
Looks like it's gonna rain.
I think if you did that,
It would help the deception which we are practicing on these bees.
Well,
You laughed to yourself.
Silly old bear.
But you didn't say it out loud because you were so fond of him,
And you went home for your umbrella.
Oh,
There you are,
Called Winnie the Pooh as soon as you got back to the tree.
I was beginning to get anxious.
I have discovered that the bees are now definitely suspicious.
Shall I put my umbrella up,
You said?
Yes,
But wait a moment.
We must be practical.
The important bee to deceive is the queen bee.
Can you see which is the queen bee from down there?
No?
A pity.
Well now,
If you walk up and down with your umbrella saying,
Tut-tut,
It looks like rain,
I shall do what I can by singing a little cloud song,
Such as a cloud might sing.
Go.
So while you walked up and down and wondered if it would rain,
Winnie the Pooh sang this song.
How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.
Every little cloud always sings aloud.
How sweet to be a cloud floating in the blue.
It makes him very proud to be a little cloud.
The bees were still buzzing as suspiciously as ever.
Some of them indeed left their nests and flew all around the cloud as it began the second verse of this song.
And one bee sat down on the nose of the cloud for a moment and then got up again.
Christopher,
Ow,
Robin,
Called out the cloud.
Yes,
I've just been thinking and I've come to a very important decision.
These are the wrong sorts of bees.
Are they?
Quite the wrong sort.
So I should think they would make the wrong sort of honey,
Shouldn't you?
Would they?
Yes.
So I think I shall come down.
How,
Asked you?
Winnie the Pooh hadn't thought about this.
If he let go of the string,
He would fall.
Bump.
And he didn't like the idea of that.
So he thought for a long time and then he said,
Christopher Robin,
You must shoot the balloon with your gun.
Have you got your gun?
Of course I have,
You said,
But if I do that it will spoil the balloon,
You said.
But if you don't,
Said Pooh,
I shall have to let go and that would spoil me.
Winnie put it like this.
You saw how it was and you aimed very carefully at the balloon and fired.
Ow,
Said Pooh.
Did I miss,
You asked?
You didn't exactly miss,
Said Pooh,
But you missed the balloon.
I'm so sorry,
You said,
And you fired again and this time you hit the balloon and the air came slowly out and Winnie the Pooh floated down to the ground.
But his arms were so stiff from holding on to the string of the balloon all that time that they stayed straight up in the air for more than a week.
And whenever a fly came and settled on his nose,
He had to blow it off.
And I think,
But I am not sure,
That that is why he was always called Pooh.
Is that the end of the story,
Asked Christopher Robin?
That's the end of that one.
There are others.
About Pooh and me and Piglet and Rabbit and all of you.
Don't you remember?
I do remember.
And then when I try to remember,
I forget.
That day when Pooh and Piglet tried to catch the heffalump,
They didn't catch it,
Did they?
No,
Pooh couldn't because he hasn't a brain.
Did I catch it?
Well,
That comes into the story.
Christopher Robin nodded.
I do remember,
He said.
Only Pooh doesn't very well.
So that's why he likes having it told to him again.
Because then it's a real story and not just remembering.
That's just how I feel,
I said.
Christopher Robin gave a deep sigh,
Picked his bear up by the leg,
And walked off to the door,
Trailing Pooh behind him.
At the door he turned and said,
Coming to see me have my bath?
I might,
I said.
I didn't hurt him when I shot him,
Did I?
Not a bit.
He nodded and went out,
And in a moment I heard Winnie the Pooh bump,
Bump,
Bump,
Going up the stairs behind him.
Chapter 2.
In which Pooh goes visiting and gets into a tight place.
Edward Bear,
Known to his friends as Winnie the Pooh,
Or Pooh for short,
Was walking through the forest one day,
Humming proudly to himself.
He had made up a little hum that very morning as he was doing his stoutness exercises in front of the glass.
Tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la,
As he stretched up as high as he could go.
And then tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la,
Oh help,
As he tried to reach his toes.
After breakfast he had said it over and over to himself until he had learned it off by heart.
And now he was humming it right through properly.
It went like this.
Tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la.
Rum-tum-tittle,
Mm-tum,
Tittle-ittle,
Tittle- ittle.
Tittle-ittle,
Tittle-ittle,
Rum-ta-tum,
Tittle-um.
Well,
He was humming to himself this way and walking along gaily,
Wondering what everyone else was doing and what it felt like being somebody else,
When suddenly he came to a sandy bank and in the bank was a large hole.
Aha,
Said Pooh.
Rum-ta-tittle-um-tum.
If I know anything about anything,
The hole means rabbit,
He said,
And rabbit means company,
He said,
And company means food and listening to me humming and such like.
Rum-ta-tum-tittle-um.
So he bent down,
Put his head into the hole and called out,
Is anybody home?
There was a sudden scuffling noise from inside the hole and then silence.
What I said was,
Is anybody at home,
Called out Pooh very loudly.
No,
Said a voice,
And then added,
You needn't shout so loud.
I heard you quite well the first time.
Bother,
Said Pooh.
Isn't there anybody here at all?
Nobody.
Winnie the Pooh took his head out of the hole and thought for a little and thought to himself,
There must be somebody there because somebody must have said nobody.
So he put his head back in the hole and said,
Hello rabbit,
Isn't that you?
No,
Said rabbit,
In a different sort of voice this time.
But isn't that rabbit's voice?
I don't think so,
Said rabbit,
It isn't meant to be.
Oh,
Said Pooh.
He took his head out of the hole and had another think,
And then he put it back and said,
Well,
Could you kindly tell me where rabbit is?
He has gone to see his friend Pooh Bear,
Who was a great friend of his.
But this is me,
Said Bear,
Very much surprised.
What sort of me?
Pooh Bear.
Are you sure,
Said rabbit,
Still more surprised.
Quite,
Quite sure,
Said Pooh.
Oh,
Well then come in.
So Pooh pushed and pushed and pushed his way through the hole,
And at last he got in.
You were quite right,
Said rabbit,
Looking at him all over.
It is you.
Glad to see you.
Who did you think it was?
Well,
I wasn't sure.
You know how it is in the forest.
One can't have anybody coming into one's house.
One has to be careful.
What about a mouthful of something?
Pooh always liked a little something at 11 o'clock in the morning,
And he was very glad to see rabbit getting out the plates and mugs.
And when rabbit said,
Honey or condensed milk with your bread,
He was so excited after that.
Both.
And then,
So as not to seem greedy,
He added,
But don't bother about the bread,
Please.
And for a long time after that he said nothing,
Until at last,
Humming to himself in a rather sticky voice,
He got up,
Shook rabbit lovingly by the paw,
And said that he must be going on.
Must you,
Said rabbit politely.
Well,
Said Pooh,
I could stay a little longer if,
If you,
And he tried very hard to look in the direction of the larder.
As a matter of fact,
Said rabbit,
I was going out myself directly.
Oh,
Well then,
I'll be going on.
Goodbye.
Well,
Goodbye,
If you're sure you won't have any more.
Is there any more?
Ask Pooh quickly.
Rabbit took the covers off the dishes and said,
No,
There wasn't.
I thought not,
Said Pooh,
Nodding to himself.
Well,
Goodbye,
I must be going on.
So he started to climb out of the hole.
He pulled with his front paws,
He pushed with his back paws,
And in a little while his nose was out in the open again.
And then his ears,
And then his front paws,
And then his shoulders,
And then,
Oh help,
Said Pooh,
I'd better go back.
Oh bother,
Said Pooh,
I shall have to go on.
I can't do either,
Said Pooh.
Oh help and bother.
Now by this time rabbit wanted to go for a walk too,
And finding the front door full,
He went out the back door and came round to Pooh and looked at him.
Hello,
Are you stuck,
He asked.
No,
No,
Said Pooh carelessly,
Just resting and thinking and humming to myself.
Here,
Give us a paw.
Pooh Bear stretched out a paw and Rabbit pulled and pulled and pulled.
Ow,
Cried Pooh,
You're hurting.
The fact is,
Said Rabbit,
You are stuck.
It all comes,
Said Pooh crossly,
Of not having front doors big enough.
It all comes,
Said Rabbit sternly,
Of eating too much.
I thought at the time,
Said Rabbit,
Only I didn't like to say anything.
That one of us was eating too much,
And I knew it wasn't me,
He said.
Well,
Well,
I shall go and fetch Christopher Robin.
Christopher Robin lived at the other end of the forest,
And when he came back with Rabbit and saw the front half of Pooh,
He said,
Silly old Bear,
In such a loving voice that everybody felt quite hopeful again.
I was just beginning to think,
Said Bear,
Sniffing slightly,
That Rabbit might never be able to use his front door again,
And I should hate that,
He said.
So should I,
Said Rabbit.
Use his front door again,
Said Christopher Robin.
Of course he'll use his front door again.
Good,
Said Rabbit.
If we can't pull you out,
Pooh,
We might push you back.
Rabbit scratched his whiskers thoughtfully,
And pointed out that when once Pooh was pushed back,
He was back,
And of course nobody was more glad to see Pooh than he was.
Still,
There it was.
Some lived in trees,
And some lived underground,
And.
.
.
You mean I'd never get out,
Said Pooh?
I mean,
Said Rabbit,
That having got so far,
It seems a pity to waste it.
Christopher Robin nodded.
Then there's only one thing to be done.
We shall have to wait for you to get thin again.
How long does that take,
Said Pooh anxiously?
About a week,
I should think.
But I can't stay here for a week.
You can stay here all night,
Silly old bear.
It's getting you out which is so difficult.
We'll read to you,
Said Rabbit cheerfully.
And I hope it won't snow,
He added.
And I say,
Old fellow,
You're taking up a good deal of room in my house.
Do you mind if I use your back legs as a towel horse?
Because I mean,
There they are,
Doing nothing,
And it would be very lovely to hang towels on them.
A week,
Said Pooh gloomily.
What about meals?
I'm afraid no meals,
Said Christopher Robin,
Because of getting thin quicker.
But we will read to you.
Bear began to sigh,
And then found he couldn't because he was so tightly stuck.
And a tear rolled down his eye,
As he said.
Then would you read a sustaining book,
Such as would help and comfort a wedged bear in great tightness?
So for a week,
Christopher Robin read that sort of book at the north end of Pooh.
And Rabbit hung his washing on the south end.
And in between,
Bear felt himself getting slenderer and slenderer.
And at the end of the week,
Christopher Robin said,
Now.
So he took hold of Pooh's front paws,
And Rabbit took hold of Christopher Robin.
And all Rabbit's friends and relations took hold of Rabbit.
And they all pulled together.
And for a long time,
Pooh only said,
Ow,
And oh.
And then all of a sudden,
He said,
Pop,
Just as if a cork were coming out of a bottle.
And Christopher Robin and Rabbit and all Rabbit's friends and relations went head over heels backwards.
And on the top of them came Winnie the Pooh,
Free.
So with a nod of thanks to his friends,
He went on with his walk through the forest,
Humming proudly to himself.
But Christopher Robin looked over him lovingly and said,
Silly old bear.
And that is the end of our story this evening.
Until next time,
Sweet dreams.
