Her Reset - An Introduction To Decentering

Hi. My name is Andrea and this is the Her Reset podcast about decentering old societal rules, old business rules, old gender rules in order to liberate ourselves and setting up our own rules to live our own lives on our own terms. I see my mission in focusing on decentering. This is the best word that works for me to not rationalise the harm that was done to me and to many of us any longer, but to recognise it and to learn not to accept it from now on. To raise the bar. To set boundaries. To decolonise our minds. This is an introduction to decentering in every area of our lives. RESET begins with us.

Transcript

Dear ladies, It's time. My name is Andrea and this is the Her Reset podcast about de-centering our societal rules, Our business rules, Our gender rules in order to liberate ourselves and setting up our own rules to live our own lives on our own terms. It wasn't until I had my children that I realized that I needed to make really harsh changes if I wanted to live the life that I imagined at 13. Back when I was 13 years old, I could only think of physical things I wanted differently, Like the house and the family. I was missing out on the most important point. And that was that. The way I wanted to feel. Why did I miss out on that? Because I didn't have a clue about what to look for to make the real change I actually wanted. I just didn't want to do things as I experienced it. I didn't have the conscious emotional intelligence, The words and the consciousness to name my feelings, To actually ask myself, What do you want, Andrea? I didn't have one healthier dog growing up around who could model it for me. I've had enough. I was angry. And I didn't even realize my anger and I definitely couldn't let it out. I had this picture about myself being the cute, Quiet girl who could adapt in seconds, Who saw the patterns after the first sentence, And the one who could read the room and tell the vibes. But I was also the girl who didn't trust her intuition as I was so disconnected and I definitely didn't dare to speak up for myself. Years passed by and the anger I suppressed was slowly building up and I wasn't really aware of it as I knew myself as that little quiet girl without a voice. I was anxious and shy, But on the inside I was restless and overwhelmed. I felt like I had a hand over my mouth to prevent me from using my voice. I wanted to break out of this cocoon that has been built around me. Deep inside, I knew that I had to dig deep and find my true self. I was around. 17. That I had the power. To first step up for myself. It wasn't enough to let all the suppressed anger out, Obviously. I unconsciously channeled my suppressed energies into creating. As so many of us women who live through childhood trauma do, Right? When people hear my story, They are all shocked. It wasn't until a few years ago. After embarking on the conscious journey of becoming my truest self, When I started to realize that everything I did, I did out of survivor mode. As a reaction to what happened to me and what I didn't want anymore, I was basically constantly running away from my own life. I felt the urge to channel my energy somewhere where I could prove myself and to everyone else who didn't believe in me as a child or as a young adult that I am good enough. And what happened? Almost everything I've built out of that energy collapsed. I lost many things on the way, Friends, My home, Businesses and myself. So what have I learned from this? You can have a strong why as you learn when you set up your business. Still, Until that why is not something that deeply serves you, You will feel empty even when accomplishing your dreams and being successful. This one is so basic and universal. You have to put yourself first. Really take yourself seriously. Pour the water first in your glass to fill up your energy. You can't give out of an empty glass. Your environment is key. The people who you let in your circle, Who you surround yourself with, Make a huge difference in who you become. Money. Is energy. And it comes and goes. And we don't really have too much control of it. I was broke a few times. The guilt and the shame that we, Especially as women, Have been conditioned to have around everything we do, Even who we are, Are putting an even more extreme load and pressure on us that affects us mentally, Psychologically and also physically. So, What can we do? I see my mission as focusing on de-centering. This is the best word that works for me to not rationalize the harm that was done to me any longer. But to recognize it and to learn not to accept it from now on, To raise the bar, To set the boundaries, To decolonize my mind. Why? Because I finally had enough. As I learned more and more about myself and realized what happened to me, What I endured, Made it possible to finally feel my anger and to feel the rage. I started to embody some of the theories that I learned along the way. I decided to dissenter old rules that don't apply to me, Rules others believe to be true and projected on me, Making me or manipulating me to apply them for myself. I normalized questioning things we see as normal. That is what I want to talk to you about in my upcoming episodes. You know, I see a rising number of women who came to similar places in their lives, Similar conclusions. Perhaps you are one of them. We have work to do. And I want to break away from the kind of healing the self-development industry is pushing on us, Like another mandatory rule. Yes, Therapy is important and it can help. And yes, Learning about ourselves is helpful. And none of this happens overnight. We can't just think ourselves out of what we've been conditioned to. We have to implement it to embody the knowledge and try it out for ourselves. We need safe communities where we really embody what we learned in theory, Where we can talk about it, Learn about it, And improve and fine tune our new rules. This means taking time for ourselves in solitude. Away from men, Away from social media, Ditching monopolies, Honoring our femininity, And de-centering the deeply harmful rules the narcissistic patriarchy system has put on us. De-centering really in every area of our lives. Nurturing our friendships and relationships with other women, We know that we can't change others no matter how hard we try to explain and convince them about our perspective, Our truth, Our reality. We all live in parallel realities. But we can definitely change ourselves. We can define how we want to feel and see what we have to do, How we have to show up for that. Reset begins with us. I really hope that I can support you on your journey with this podcast. And one more thing. You can reset as many times you need to. I hope that's liberating too. Well, That's all for now. Until next time.