Awareness And Life: My Why

In this reflective talk, recorded after an afternoon at the baseball field watching her husband play, Amanda shares why she does this work. She talks about the pressure to follow what society expects, and her wish to live as her true self, calmer and less on edge with her children. She describes how, since a concussion, pausing to arrive, listen, soften and notice has helped her understand her needs and triggers and respond with less guilt. An honest reflection for anyone who feels they have been living by someone else's script. This content is educational and is not a substitute for one to one professional care.

Transcript

Just leaving the bald fields. And realized. How? Difficult I find baseball is on purpose because It is a slower game, It's about slowing down, It's about being present. In your space. Not saying that I need to like baseball. But it was nice to. Be there. Watch my husband play. And to be aware of what's there and what I can do. And understanding that I can spend time with my kids. And they just feel comfortable and safe and able to just be free in their surroundings. So I'm thinking about what my brand is and the why behind it all. And for me, The why? Behind what I do. Is my own frustration with Having. To be in the societal norms. Following suit, Doing what you're supposed to do. And it never feeling like the right fit. It never feeling like I'm my true authentic self. And ultimately I think like that's life like you need to kind of like trial and error have experiences. But ultimately the point of of my why of my mission is the fact that I want to live my true authentic self. I want. To be and a regulated, Calmer, Well-adjusted state where I'm not on edge constantly. I'm not fighting with my kids constantly. I'm not doing those things because have a better understanding and I'm not saying that I'm not going to do these, But. Just the why of like. . . I no longer want to feel shame or guilt. For doing what I want to do. I want to be me and since having my concussion. I genuinely believe that I am able to shift. Even a little bit. With the amount I can hold space. So for so long, It's always, I only have so much space. I only have so much that I can do. And by doing this, Arrive. Listen, Soften, Notice. I'm able to have a better understanding of what I need. Where I am. Who I am. Um. . . What my triggers are. How I. . . Can you respond? In situations. And just fundamentally like that continuation of. Being able to pause. And to feel good in my body, To feel like I can challenge myself and I'm not like shaming myself. I can choose something that maybe other people are confused about, But if I feel aligned with it, It's okay. And to understand that without guilt. So I think ultimately that's where I'm at right now and I just, I believe wholeheartedly in being who you are and showing up for your kids. And. . . It just. . . Doing what you want to do.