Imagine for a moment you are a flowering,
Beautiful rosebush.
If you have religious trauma,
It's as if you've been planted in a container that's too small for you.
Your roots can't reach nutritious soil,
And your growth is constricted.
Religion traumatizes when it involves restrictive beliefs and uses fear,
Threat,
And shame to control.
Over time,
This can overwhelm your nervous system and your ability to cope.
It often presents an impossible bind.
Where something about you that's fundamental is deemed unacceptable.
It might be what you feel or think.
What you need.
Maybe who you love.
And you're told you have to change that about yourself.
It's impossible because it can't be changed.
Human nature,
It's hardwired.
But the consequences of not changing,
Or at least not hiding who you are,
Are often terrifying.
Like loss of relationship.
Our family,
Or community.
Loss of your relationship with God.
And even eternal damnation.
Religion is powerful.
It's not just a set of beliefs.
It usually goes way back to our earliest relationships.
It's intertwined.
With our sense of who we are in the world and with community.
And with the parts of ourselves we believe that are okay and the parts that are not.
Over time you internalize those messages.
So no one has to judge you anymore.
You judge yourself.
So the effects of religious trauma,
They show up in ways that we don't necessarily associate with religion.
So shame and guilt,
But also anxiety and depression.
Rigid black and white thinking.
Having a harsh internal critic.
You might have discomfort with your body.
And shame around sexuality and pleasure.
In relationships,
It can be hard to set boundaries,
Know what you need,
And assert it.
Deal with conflict in a healthy way.
And you might even have trouble trusting your own perceptions.
Many people also have physical symptoms when they hear religious words or around religious environments.
Like sweaty palms or racing hearts.
These are signs of trauma,
Your nervous system in a fight,
Flight,
Or flee mode.
These types of symptoms last long after you've stopped believing what you may have originally believed or after you've left a community.
Where you learned these things.
So intellectual change doesn't necessarily undo the emotional learning.
So even though you may not believe something,
You may still be acting or feeling as if you do.
Most of these symptoms have been in place for so long.
And aren't necessarily linked in your mind to religion.
So you may blame yourself.
For your suffering.
In fact,
Many people who have religious trauma don't know they have it.
They just think something's wrong with them.
So if this sounds familiar,
Know that you are not alone.
And that your struggles are not.
Because of personal weakness.
They're because your experiences and your beliefs have been too small.
For your growth and for healthy development.
Healing from religious trauma involves building,
Over time,
A larger container for yourself.
With nutritious soil.
So there's room for all of who you are.
What you think.
And feel and need.
For healthier relationships.
And what you Believe yourself.
So be gentle with yourself as you listen to this.
Notice the reactions that arise.
And see if you can give yourself space to have whatever you want.
Reaction or emotion you're having.
If you're noticing judgments.
Let those be there too,
Without necessarily buying into them as truth.
Let yourself have the experience you have with some spaciousness.
And you've already started today then building a larger container for yourself.
