Hey,
And welcome to Strangely Familiar.
Pushing yourself to get out of your comfort zone is one thing,
But coping with the constant chatter of the inner critic is a different beast.
Listening to this harsh,
Always-carping voice will inevitably leave us brooding and feeling disheartened.
It can make us more risk-aversive and underestimate what we're capable of.
Thereby also reducing our chances to find flow.
In cognitive behavior therapy,
One way to approach such a mental habit is to differentiate between the critical voice and the part of yourself receiving these comments,
Perhaps feeling upset or hurt.
And this is exactly what you're going to practice today.
In this session,
You can imagine your self-criticism as a dialogue between two strangers on the street.
So you can bring some daylight between you and your inner critic and become aware of the absurdity of this destructive habit.
This will help you to attach less importance on what the self-critical part within you has to say and focus on your own goals instead.
Begin this flow session by reminding yourself that you've taken this time out of your day to strengthen your optimistic mindset.
So get ready to be here now and find your flow.
When you found a position that you'd like to spend the next few minutes in.
Close your eyes.
And take some time to arrive in this moment.
Letting anything that you've experienced so far or anything that is awaiting you today,
Fade into the background.
And dedicate your full attention to this present moment.
Taking a few deep breaths in.
And out.
And in a moment.
You can bring yourself into a deeply relaxed state while I count from 5 to 0.
And with each number I count you can let yourself sink deeper and deeper into the surface beneath you.
5.
Sense where your body touches the seat or floor.
Feeling supported and relaxed.
4.
Letting your legs and buttocks become heavy and relaxed.
3.
Gradually letting go of any tension you may be feeling right now.
2.
Your arms become heavy as well and your shoulders relaxed.
One.
Loosening your jaw.
And relaxing your face.
Zero.
Your whole body is pleasantly heavy and deeply relaxed.
Take another moment to enjoy this pleasant state of relaxation and calm.
How does it feel for you right now?
And in this comfortable state of calm,
It feels safe for you to mentally recreate the moments in life where your experience is tainted by self-criticism or self-blame.
Turning over in your mind the mistakes you have made or things that can go wrong.
In listening to that overly judgmental voice inside your head it doesn't matter whether you have a specific situation in mind or simply recall how these moments look like for you in general.
And as you're listening to this voice inside your head.
I wonder if you can imagine this as a conversation between two strangers on the street.
One person blaming the other.
Making them feel bad.
Offending and judging them.
And the other person receiving the feedback.
And you are just a passenger.
Standing there.
Watching the scene.
Take some time to picture the scenario in your mind's eye.
Can you see these two strangers fighting in front of you?
How do they look?
What is the critical person upset about?
What are they saying?
Perhaps you can catch specific phrases or accusations.
You can look closely at their faces.
Their gestures.
Anything that catches your eye.
Perhaps you also notice how the other person is reacting.
Indignant.
Shocked.
Hesitant.
Scared.
Perhaps something else.
And I wonder if you can see the absurdity in the situation.
How one person doesn't seem to respect any borders and perhaps uses harsh language.
Or how the other apparently puts up with everything.
Or maybe it's even comically silly what is going on there.
What can you discover here?
And as you observe this dialogue between these two people.
Perhaps you notice a lack of understanding within you for why one would spend time with such an unfriendly person.
What advice would you give the offended person in this situation?
Perhaps that they should leave the situation and tell the other to calm down.
Or that they have no right to treat them like this.
And it might feel much more complex or difficult to react reasonably when it is you that is in such a situation.
Fighting the inner battle in your head.
Against the critical part inside you.
That's why you can repeat the advice you just formulated a few times silently to yourself.
To ignore these accusations.
Or that nobody has the right to treat you this way.
So you can internalize and recall it whenever you need it in your everyday life.
Amazing.
Perhaps you can envision how implementing that in your everyday life will help you become more confident.
Determined.
Perhaps self-compassionate.
Which feelings will arise with this new perspective?
This different reaction.
And in order to reinforce these positive feelings and let go of self-criticism in the long run.
You can now take the moment to set yourself the intention.
To take on the observer's perspective whenever the inner critic becomes loud again.
Then circle your shoulders and neck Stretch yourself if you like.
Making yourself as tall as possible.
And just when you feel a fresh wave of focus rise,
Open your eyes and take this feeling of confidence and self-compassion with you into the rest of your day.
Congratulations on taking the time to cultivate a positive inner dialogue.
By observing self-criticism as a dialogue between two strangers,
It gets easier to distance yourself from your inner critic and remain confident and cool-headed in crucial moments.
I'll see you next time.
