So hi everyone and thank you for joining me.
So today we are going to explore something that might feel both terrifying and liberating at the same time.
The courage to disappoint others.
So let me ask you something that might touch a tender place in your heart.
When was the last time you made a decision based purely on what you wanted without considering what your parents would think,
What your friends would say,
What society expects or what looks good on social media?
And if you are like most people that question might leave you feeling a bit uncomfortable and maybe even confused because somewhere along the way many of us learned that our worth was tied to meeting other people's expectations.
We learned to shape ourselves into the person,
Our family,
Our environment,
The society,
The boss,
The partner or the friend wanted us to be,
Needed us to be.
When we spend our lives performing for other people's approval we become strangers to ourselves.
We lose touch with our own desires,
Our own values and our own inner knowing.
We become incredibly skilled at being who others need us to be and completely lost when it comes to who we actually are and this is nobody's fault.
Most of us learn this as a survival strategy.
Now maybe you grew up in a family where love felt conditional,
Where being good meant being what others needed.
Maybe you learned that your authentic self was too much,
Too little,
Too different or too challenging.
So you learned to tuck away your real feelings,
Your dreams and even your voice.
So today we are going to practice what we call the sacred rebellion.
Not the destructive kind of rebellion that hurts others but the holy kind that honors your soul's deepest truth and we're also going to help your nervous system remember that you are worthy of love exactly as you are,
Not as others need you to be.
And this might feel scary.
Your nervous system has been programmed now to believe that disappointing others is dangerous.
But I want you to know authenticity is not selfish and your real self is not too much.
Living your own truth is not betraying anybody else.
Now as we begin this exploration,
Find a comfortable position for yourself and this is sacred work.
So honor yourself by creating a space where you feel completely safe to explore.
We are about to journey into the territory of your own deepest truths.
Now as you've settled into the most comfortable,
Safe position for you,
Sitting up,
Lying down,
Let's begin now with three breaths that give you permission to be yourself.
Just receiving my words,
If you feel comfortable at this stage you're very very welcome to close your eyes.
Now breathing in permission to want what you want even if others don't understand.
Breathing out the exhaustion of other people's approval.
Now again breathing in your right to be different and to choose differently and then breathing out the fear of disappointing others.
And now one more time breathing in the courage of your authentic self and breathing out into this moment where you don't have to be anything for anyone.
Now you will use a little bit of visualization here and whatever shows up for you is exactly what you need to see,
To shift,
To change.
There's no right or wrong way to do this.
Just let my words guide you and see what shows up for you.
Now imagine that you're standing at the edge of a beautiful wild landscape.
Now this is not a manicured garden designed to please others.
This is raw authentic nature.
Mountains that don't apologize for their height,
Rivers that flow wherever they need to flow and trees that grow in their own unique direction.
This landscape represents your authentic self,
Not the version that you've built to fit others expectations but the true wild original you.
This is sacred ground.
Feel your feet now on the sacred ground.
Bring your attention to your feet.
You belong here exactly as you are.
This earth doesn't need you to be different.
The sky doesn't judge your authentic expression and the wind doesn't require your performance.
Now from this beautiful place of belonging,
Call upon whatever supportive presence feels right to you.
You can say your higher self,
Your spirit guides,
The loving intelligence of the universe or simply your own inner wisdom.
Whatever helps you remember that you're not walking this path alone.
Ask this presence to help you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be.
And I say this again,
This is also us setting intentions.
Ask this presence to help you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be.
Now let's gently explore how others expectations have shaped your life.
We are going to do this with tremendous compassion because every expectation that you took on,
You took on for love.
Place one hand on your heart,
One hand on your belly.
Feel your own rhythm,
Feel your own breath and feel your own life force.
This is yours.
This belongs to no one else.
Now let's explore where others expectations live in your body.
And as I mentioned different words,
Different expectations.
Simply notice what happens in your physical form.
The expectation to be successful,
To achieve and to always be moving upwards.
Where do you feel this in your body?
Maybe a tension in your shoulders from carrying the weight of ambition.
Maybe tightness in your jaw from grinding towards a goal that was never yours to begin with.
Feeling what you feel,
Sensing what you sense and seeing what you see.
You're simply exploring where we may hold the weight,
The tension and the energy of expectations from others.
Now let's check with the body the expectation to be nice,
To be agreeable and to never cause problems.
Notice where this lives for you.
Perhaps there is a tightness in your throat from swallowing your real opinions.
Maybe a collapse in your belly button and your solar plexus from making yourself smaller.
The expectation to be strong,
To have it all together and to never show weakness.
Feel where this expectation has armored your body.
Maybe a rigidity in your spine,
A holding in your chest that doesn't allow you to be vulnerable.
The expectation to be grateful,
Positive or to never complain.
Notice how this expectation affects your breath,
Your face and your capacity to feel your real feelings.
Now let's expand your awareness to include all expectations seen and unseen,
Spoken and unspoken,
Past life or this life that you've been carrying.
From your family of origin,
From your culture,
From your religion,
From your profession and from the society at large.
Feel the weight of all these shoulds and musts and have tos.
Feel how much energy it takes to constantly monitor yourself,
To shape shift based on who you're with and to be everything to everyone except for yourself.
Now take a deep breath.
Now at this stage you can bring your other hand on the heart.
So place both of your hands on your heart and let's speak to all these expectations with compassion.
Thank you for trying to keep me safe.
Thank you for trying to help me belong.
I understand why you felt necessary but I am ready to choose which of you actually serve my authentic self and which of you I am ready to release.
Thank you for trying to keep me safe.
Thank you for trying to help me belong.
I understand why you felt necessary but I am ready to choose which of you actually serve my authentic self and which of you I am ready to release.
Now whichever way your body is responding to my words,
You may feel physical sensations,
You may feel changes in physical sensations,
You may feel heat,
Cold,
Tingling,
Warmth,
Whatever is showing up for you just simply allow that.
Now we are going to meet a part of yourself that you may have buried very deep,
Your authentic self,
Your authentic rebel and this is not the part that rebels just to rebel but this is that itch,
That voice,
That part that knows when something is not true for you,
When something doesn't align with your soul.
Now with both your hands still on the heart and still feeling the heartbeat under your hands,
Ask your authentic self to come forward,
The one who knows what you actually want,
The one who knows what you actually value and the one who knows what you actually believe.
I am now asking my body,
My mind,
My awareness to bring up my authentic self.
I may see it,
I may sense it in my body,
I may have a knowing or it may be shown to me in another way.
This part might feel shy,
It's been hidden for so long or it might feel angry,
Frustrated by all the years of suppression or it might feel confused.
However your authentic part appears,
Just welcome it with love.
With your hands on your heart,
Ask this authentic self,
What have you been longing to say that I haven't let you say?
What have you been longing to say that I haven't let you say?
Now listen not just with your mind but with your whole being.
What truths have been waiting in your heart?
What dreams have you tucked away because they didn't fit other people's plans for you?
What values have you been compromising?
Now let's ask what would you do if you were not afraid of disappointing others?
What would you do if you were not afraid of disappointing others?
Now don't judge what comes up,
Don't immediately think about how impossible it is,
Just let your authentic self speak its truth.
Maybe you would choose a different career,
Maybe you would end a relationship that's been draining your life force,
Maybe you would move somewhere that feeds your soul,
Maybe you would quit your job,
Maybe you would express creativity that's been locked away,
Maybe it would set boundaries that people don't like or maybe you would simply stop pretending to be happy when you're not.
This is a deeply personal exploration so let whatever is coming up for you.
Watch,
Observe and see.
Feel how your body responds to imagining living from this authentic place and your mind will always have concerns but just notice if your body feels more alive,
More real and more like home.
I am now imagining living from this authentic place,
Whatever was shown to me.
Here is where we practice something,
Consciously choosing to disappoint others in the service of your own truth.
I want you to understand something profound,
You will disappoint people.
If you live long enough and authentically enough,
Some people will not understand your choices,
They will not approve of your path and they will not like who you're becoming and this is not a sign that you're doing something wrong,
This may be a sign that you're doing something real that's more aligned for you.
Think of someone in your life whose opinion has been controlling your life,
Maybe a parent,
A partner,
A friend,
A boss or even society at large.
Someone whose potential disappointment has kept you from being authentic and whoever it is for you,
Imagine making a choice that honors your truth even if it disappoints this person or disappoints the society at large.
Maybe it's saying no to something they want you to do,
Maybe it's pursuing something they don't understand,
Maybe it's being someone they don't approve of and now feel what happens in your body when you imagine disappointing them.
Now this exploration may bring up some sensations in your body,
So breathe into any fear,
Any anxiety or any guilt that's arising.
Place your hand on whatever part of your body feels activated and now repeat this after me.
I understand you're scared,
You've been protecting me by keeping others happy but disappointing others is not the same as betraying them.
My authenticity is not an attack on anyone else.
I understand you're scared,
You've been protecting me by keeping others happy but disappointing others is not the same as betraying them.
My authenticity is not an attack on anyone else.
Now let's practice this radical statement.
I choose my own authentic path even if others don't understand it.
I choose my own authentic path even if others don't understand it.
Feel these words in your body,
Notice any resistance,
Any fear and any liberation.
Now let's expand this.
I release others from the burden of having to understand my choices.
I release myself from the burden of making life comprehensible to everyone else.
Now from all the energy that you've moved today in this exploration,
From this place of reclaimed authenticity,
Let's envision how you want to move through the world as someone who honors their own truth while still loving others.
Sacred rebellion isn't about becoming cruel or selfish,
It's about becoming so aligned with your authentic self that you show up as a gift to the world rather than as a performance.
Imagine yourself tomorrow or even this moment making choices from your authentic center.
How do you speak?
How do you move?
What do you prioritize?
What do you let go of?
See yourself in relationships where you're loved for who you are and not who you pretend to be.
Feel the relief of not having to change yourself or what you feel to please anybody or to earn love.
Imagine the people in your life who are ready to love your authentic self and celebrating your courage to be you and imagine releasing with love those who can only love your conditioned performed self.
As we prepare to complete this journey,
Once again place both your hands on your heart and make this commitment to yourself now.
I choose the sacred rebellion of authenticity.
I will disappoint others before I betray myself.
I will live from my truth not from their expectations.
I understand that not everyone will understand my path and that's not my responsibility.
My responsibility is to honor the authentic self that life is expressing through me.
Now remember,
Your authentic self is not a rebellion against others.
It's coming home to yourself and when you come home to yourself,
You give everyone around you permission to do the same.
Now,
Begin yourself returning to ordinary awareness.
Just don't leave this courage behind.
Feel it settling into your cells,
Your nervous system and your daily life.
Wiggle your fingers,
Wiggle your toes,
Move your head gently from side to side.
Take a deep breath now and when you're ready,
Slowly open your eyes and return to this moment.
But carry with you the sacred rebel who refuses to abandon themselves for anyone else's comfort.
Every time you choose authenticity over approval,
You're not just healing yourself but you're healing the world.
You're showing others that it's possible to be loved for who you are,
Not who you pretend to be.
Now,
Thank you for having the courage to disappoint others in the service of your soul.
And now,
Honoring the sacred rebel that you are,
We close this session.
Thank you very much for joining me and namaste.
