This is a meditation for coping with uncertainty in akathisia.
Not knowing if.
Or when you'll recover.
Or even have a better day can be excruciating.
So this meditation is for helping you to deal with the day.
One moment at a time.
One truth to remember.
Is that most people will recover from akathisia.
Which means that you are more likely to recover than not.
With that in mind,
Or letting it go if that feels unhelpful.
Or impossible to believe today.
Let's begin where you are.
Begin by noticing your body's impulse to move.
You likely are already moving.
So just allow the movements to happen.
Whether it's walking.
Squeezing something.
Or massaging your own body.
Just let it happen.
Let go of how you look and focus on what brings you any bit of relief.
No matter how small.
Accepting not knowing if or when relief will come today.
We can cultivate a sense of curiosity.
Beginning to be curious about slightly changing your movement.
What changes can you experiment with as you move?
Could you experiment with relaxing your body as you move?
Relaxing your face.
Shoulders or stomach.
Wherever you feel tension.
And then just notice.
Does this feel better or worse than before?
Stay with it if it feels better.
And back off if it feels worse.
And if it feels even a tiny bit better,
Stay with it.
This is a practice for tending to yourself.
No matter the outcome.
Of learning or unlearning how to be in difficult moments while practicing kindness and care for yourself.
Of listening to your body,
Even when it feels irritable.
Or unpredictable.
And especially when it feels like it's on fire or unbearable.
Maybe you could try.
Add a breath to your movement.
If your body wants to squeeze or press.
You could try inhaling as you squeeze and exhaling as you release.
How does that feel?
Better.
Worse,
The same.
If it feels even a little bit better,
Then stay with it.
You might even notice parts of your movement that feel better or worse.
Like when you inhale or when you exhale.
When you squeeze or when you release.
Maybe you can ride these micro moments of the part of the movement that feels better to you.
And if that feels too hard to focus on what feels better,
Maybe just focus on what feels less bad.
Using this practice to just return again and again to any adjustments that might bring a greater sense of ease or comfort.
And if ease or comfort are too much,
Again,
Focus on what feels less bad.
What about now?
What's an adjustment that you could make?
Something that might feel 1% better than what you're doing now.
Maybe slowing down the movement.
Speeding up the movement.
Being more gentle.
Sustaining a movement.
Whatever feels right to you,
Try it out.
And when you try it.
Does it feel better?
Or worse.
Stay with anything that feels better.
Letting yourself notice what you prefer in this moment.
Letting go of what you preferred yesterday or even five minutes ago.
And be curious about what feels right,
Right now.
And if this experiment helps in any way.
Bring it into your daily life.
Finding ways.
To change the way that you're moving just a little bit.
To bring a sense of greater comfort.
Be curious about how small changes to your breath your muscle tension.
Rhythm or posture can give you strategies to cope.
Ways to make the unbearable first slightly bearable and then more and more comfortable over time.
Healing from akathisia is usually a gradual process.
So remember,
Even though the future and even the present are uncertain,
You have small things that you can control.
And small moments of relief add up to sustained healing.
Most people will recover.
You will likely recover.
And until then,
Be gentle with yourself.
You didn't choose this.
May you continue forward.
Finding greater and greater ease and well-being.
May you be gentle with yourself.
During setbacks.
And learn more and more strategies to cope as you heal.
And I'll hold hope for you.
I'll hold hope for all who have akathisia.
To fully and completely recover.
Especially you.
