The Courage To Choose: Finding Confidence In Decision Making

Every decision shapes our story, even the ones we wish we could change. This guided storytelling meditation explores the challenges of decision making, the lessons hidden in our mistakes, and the grace we deserve along the way. Discover how yesterday’s regrets can become tomorrow’s wisdom, helping us face life’s toughest choices with greater courage, clarity, and confidence.

Transcript

This is Coach Tan with a guided storytelling meditation on decision making. Regret, Grace, And the wisdom we can gain. It's called the courage to choose. Find yourself a comfortable place. A place where for the next few minutes nothing is being asked of you. No decisions need to be made. No problems need to be solved. No one needs an answer. For these few moments, You simply get to just be. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it for just a moment. And slowly release it. Again. Breathe in. And as you exhale, Allow your shoulders to relax. Let go of the tension in your face. Unclench your hands and give yourself permission to be still. Today, I want to talk about something every one of us has experienced. The weight of making a decision. Not the little decisions, Like what we're going to eat for dinner. Or what we're going to wear, Or what movie to watch. I'm talking about those decisions that have potential to change our lives. The ones that keep us awake at night. The ones we discuss with friends and family. And sometimes complete strangers, Hoping someone will tell us what to do. Should I stay? Should I leave? Should I take an opportunity or hold on to what I already have? Should I follow my heart or listen in my head? Should I risk what I know for something I don't? And perhaps the hardest question of all. What if I make the wrong decision? I want to share with you a story. A fictional story, But perhaps. One that you'll recognize a little in yourself. It is the story of the empty chair. There was once a woman. Named Anna. Anna was the kind of person. Everyone depended on. She was thoughtful, Hardworking, And the person people called when they needed a device. Funny thing about Anna though was she was wonderful at helping everyone else make decisions. But like many, When it came time to her own life decisions, She struggled. For nearly 20 years, Anna worked at the same company. She had built a career, Made wonderful friends, And created a life. That felt comfortable. But over time, Something changed. She wasn't unhappy. She just wasn't excited anymore. She would wake up in the morning, Make her coffee, Get dressed, And head into work. And like every day felt a little like the day before. Then one afternoon, Anna received a call. A friend had started a small business and wanted Anna to join her. The opportunity was exciting. It would give Anna the chance to do something she had always dreamt of doing. But there was a catch. She would have to leave her secure job. Her predictable paycheck or comfortable routine. And everything she had spent years building. For weeks, Anna thought about it. She made lists. She asked questions. She talked to people she trusted. Some told her to take the chance. Others told her she would be a fool if she gave up what she had. And slowly all those opinions became louder than our own. Finally, She made her decision. She stayed. She of course thanked the friend. But said no to the opportunity. And that evening as she sat at her kitchen table. She looked. And there were two chairs. Where she decided to sit. And one cross from her that was empty. And for some reason, She found herself staring at that empty chair. And she imagined the person she might have become. If she had said yes. She wondered. That version of Anna would be doing. Would she be happy? Would she be successful? Would she be terrified? She had no idea, But the question stayed with her. Some time passed. Her friend's business grew. And Anna watched from a distance. Celebrations, Exciting announcements, And every time she saw She felt that familiar ache. Regret. She began telling herself a story. I missed my chance. I should have been braver. I always play it safe and for long. Anna had convinced herself that she— had made the wrong decision. But here's something important. About Anna's story. She didn't actually know whether joining the business would have made her happier. She only knew that she regretted not trying. And those are two very different things. One afternoon. Anna was visiting her parents. She sat down with her father. He was getting older and they had developed a habit of just sitting together over coffee. He asked her, How are things? And she shrugged, The same as always. He looked at her for a moment and he asked, What's bothering you? And I told him everything. About the opportunity, The decision. The regret. And how disappointed she was in herself. And he said, Listen quietly. Listen to yourself. Why? Did you stay? She looked confused. I told you I was afraid. He shook his head. No. That's what you're telling yourself now. I'm asking why you stayed. Anna thought for a moment, And then she answered. Because I needed security. Because I wasn't financially prepared. Because I was afraid of letting people down. And because I didn't believe I could do it. Or Father Nodder. Well, There you go. Frown. And said, What do you mean? There you go. He smiled. You just told me four things you didn't know about yourself before the decision. She sat quietly and he continued, You learned the security matters to you. You learned that you want to be better financially prepared. You learned that other people's opinions have too much influence over your choices. And you learned that you need to work on believing in yourself. Then he leaned back in his chair. Sounds like, To me, You learned quite a bit. And she laughed. But I still made the wrong decision. He looked at her and said, Maybe you did, But making the wrong decision doesn't mean you have to make it twice. Or that you could have learned from it. I want you to sit with that. Making the wrong decision doesn't mean you're wrong. You haven't learned from it. Because sometimes the greatest gift A difficult decision gives us is understanding ourselves. We learn what matters. We learn. What we are willing to sacrifice. We learn what we need. And sometimes we learn what we need. And we will never forget. Be willing to give it up again. A year later, Anna received another phone call. This time it wasn't from a friend. It was from a company looking for someone with her experience. To help build a new division. It was an exciting opportunity. But they were risks. Smaller. The rule was unfamiliar. And there were no guarantees. And Anna began to feel that old, Familiar feeling. The tightening in our stomach, The endless questions, The fear of getting it wrong. But this time it was something different. Instead of immediately asking everyone else what they thought, She sat down at the kitchen table. The same table. The same two chairs. She poured herself a cup of coffee. And began asking herself the questions. Not what will everyone think, Not what if I fail. What do I want my life to look like? What am I afraid of? What can I do to prepare? And if this doesn't work out. Will I still be proud of myself for trying? She took out a notebook. She reviewed her finances. Is he researched? And then asked herself thoughtful questions. She gave herself time. And for the first time in a long time, She realized something. She didn't need someone else to give her permission to make a decision. She needed to trust herself enough to make one. So she accepted. The position. And she sat with it. Now, I could tell you. The end of this story. Right now and say it was wildly successful. She loved every minute of her new job. And she never experienced a moment of doubt. With that. Wouldn't be very honest. Because life doesn't work out that way. And For Anna, It was difficult. There were days when she missed her old co-workers and friends at work. Day she questioned herself in moments. That she wondered whether she had made another mistake. But Anna had learned something. A difficult outcome doesn't automatically mean we make mistakes. A bad decision. Sometimes the right decision still comes with challenges. Sometimes the best choices still hurt. Sometimes we can do everything thoughtfully, Carefully, And with good intentions. And things will not turn out the way we hoped. But this time, Anna didn't turn against herself. She adjusted. She asked for help when needed. She took chances and learned new skills. She gave herself permission to make mistakes because she was a beginner. And then slowly something wonderful happened. She became more confident. Not because everything was working out perfectly. But because she was learning that she could handle things when they didn't. And one evening after a particularly difficult day, Anna returned home. She sat at her kitchen table. She looked across at the empty chair. This time. She didn't imagine. The person she might have become. She thought about the person she was becoming. And she smiled. For a new song. Back to your own life. Think about a decision you once made. That you wish you could change. It doesn't have to be a big mistake in your life. Perhaps. You just stayed in a relationship a little too long. A friend maybe you let go of a little too quickly. A job you left. An opportunity you passed up. Words you've spoken when you maybe should have listened. Choose something that you can reflect on gently today. And allow yourself to remember how you felt at that time. What did you know? What didn't you know? What were you afraid of? And what were you hoping would happen? Now, I want you to consider something. When you made that decision, You didn't have the wisdom you have today. You know what? The next year would bring. You didn't know what people would do. You didn't know how things would change. We made the decision with the information. The emotions, The experiences, And the understanding you had at that moment. And perhaps today, Knowing what you know now, You would choose differently. That is okay. That is called learning. Imagine sitting across from the younger version of yourself. The person who made that decision. Look at them for a moment. The uncertainty. Notice how much they were carrying. The whole world. The fear. The desire to get it right. Would you criticize them? Would you tell them they were foolish? Would you remind them of everything that went wrong? Or would you offer them the same compassion you would give someone you love? Perhaps you would simply say, You did the best you could with what you knew. I wish things had turned out differently too. But look at what you've learned. Look it. How far you've come. Because there is something powerful about giving ourself grace. Grace doesn't mean you need to pretend you didn't make a mistake. It doesn't mean avoiding responsibility. And it certainly doesn't mean refusing to change. Grace means allowing. Ourselves to acknowledge what happened without spending the rest of our lives punishing ourselves for it. It means saying, Yes, I made that decision. Yes, There were consequences. And yes, I'm capable of learning from them. Now imagine a decision you may be facing today. Perhaps it involves your family, Your home, Your future. A relationship that matters deeply to you. Notice what happens when you think about it. Does your mind immediately race towards everything that could go wrong? Do you imagine disappointing someone? Losing something. Starting over. Take a deep breath in. And release it. I want you to remember Anna sitting at that kitchen table. Not rushing, Not asking the entire world to decide for her. Simply giving herself the time and the respect to understand what mattered. And you can do that too. You can gather the information. You can seek advice. You can consider the consequences. You can listen to the people who love you. But eventually, You must also listen to yourself. Because other people can offer you their experiences. They can share their wisdom. They can help you see things you may have missed. But they cannot live your life for you. And they cannot promise you an outcome. So ask yourself. Am I making this decision because it's what I truly want? Because I'm afraid of what others will think. Am I choosing something because it brings me closer to the life I want? Or am I simply trying to avoid discomfort now? What have my past decisions taught me? That could help me today. And perhaps more importantly. If this decision doesn't work out the way I hoped. Can I trust myself to respond with courage, Kindness, And wisdom? You see, Confidence in decision-making isn't about knowing the future. It's about knowing yourself. It's about understanding that you have survived difficult days before. You have experienced disappointment, You have faced uncertainty, You have made mistakes, And somehow here you are, Still learning, Still growing, Still capable of creating something meaningful with life in front of you. Take another slow breath. And allow your body to relax a little more. And silently. Repeat these words to yourself. I give myself permission to make decisions. I give myself permission to be uncertain. I give myself permission to make mistakes. I give myself permission to learn. I give myself permission to change my mind when new information comes. And I give myself permission to forgive the person I was before I knew. What I know today. There's a beautiful kind of freedom in realizing that we don't have to get everything right. We don't have to remain willing to. To grow. And win another difficult. Decision arrives, We can remember the lessons, The ones that came before it. Not as a reminder of our failures, But as evidence of our experience, Our resilience, Our wisdom. You And as we begin to bring this meditation to a close, I want to leave you one final thought. We spend so much of our lives trying to avoid making the wrong decisions. We want guarantees and certainty. We want someone to tell us everything will work out. But life doesn't offer us that kind of promise. But life does offer us this opportunity to learn. To become more thoughtful, More courageous. More understanding of ourselves and others. And sometimes the decision we wish we'd never made becomes the very experience that helps us. Make the better one in years later. So don't let yesterday's regrets steal tomorrow's confidence. Don't allow one chapter of your life to convince you. That you don't know how to write the next one. And please don't judge the person you were yesterday by the wisdom you have today. That wisdom came from somewhere. Some of it came from joy. Some of it came from love. Some of it came from the decisions you wish you could take back. All of it has helped shape the person you are now. Take a deep breath in. And slowly breathe out. And feel the surface beneath you. Notice the air around you. Begin to bring your awareness back to this moment. And as you do, Remember this. You don't have to be certain about every decision you make. You just have to be willing to take responsibility. To learn and trust yourself to keep growing. Namaste.