Hello and welcome to the Positive Mindset Tribe,
A refreshing and empowering podcast on how to become a magnet for love,
Abundance and joy.
And as you've probably guessed,
It all starts with your mindset.
I am your host,
Veronica Moreno,
A mindset coach,
Therapist and energy healer.
And my mission is to share with you my most powerful tips,
Psychological tools and energy healing techniques so you can manifest the joyful,
Meaningful and successful life you deserve.
So are you ready for your weekly dose of motivation,
Confidence and empowerment?
Let's get started.
Welcome to another episode of the Positive Mindset Tribe.
This episode is going to be all about self-love,
How to love,
Honor and celebrate yourself.
What a beautiful and important topic.
In this episode,
I'm going to be covering,
First of all,
What self-love is and what is not,
Because I think there are some misconceptions about this topic,
Why loving ourselves is so important.
And also I'm going to be sharing with you some steps,
Some practical tips to practice self-love,
To celebrate yourself and to honor yourself.
But before we start with the details,
Let me ask you a couple of questions for self-reflection.
I want you to think about the person you love the most in the world or the people you love the most in the world.
That might be your partner,
That might be your kids,
Your parents,
Whoever they are.
In a scale of one to ten,
Being ten the maximum possible,
How much do you love them today?
I'm sure the answer was either very close to ten,
Maybe even twenty.
Maybe the answer was to the moon and back.
I can't even count it,
Right?
Okay,
Now,
In a scale of one to ten,
How much do you love yourself today?
And I'm sure that for most people the answer was very,
Very different.
I doubt many people said the same number for both questions.
And that's why this episode is so important,
Because we are able to love others and to treat others in a way that we are not able to love ourselves or to treat ourselves.
And this is crazy.
This is crazy.
And think about it,
Do you treat yourself like you treat your loved ones?
And especially think about how you treat them when they have a bad day,
When they make a mistake,
When they're feeling low,
Right?
Do you treat yourself the same way when you make a mistake,
When you feel bad,
When you feel low,
When you're not at your best,
When you've done something wrong?
Do you treat yourself with the same love and compassion and kindness as you would treat your kids,
For example?
And again,
I'm sure the answer is probably no.
And that's fine.
And this is so common.
And we all struggle with this,
Mainly because we have some prejudices or programs about if we love ourselves,
We're being selfish,
And we are kind of conditioned to believe that we have to be available for everyone else,
That in order to be a good person,
We have to put everyone else's priorities first.
And it is really good to be loving,
To be caring,
To care for others,
To help others.
Great qualities.
But if we don't love ourselves,
We have nothing,
Really.
So first of all,
Let's start talking about what is self-love.
Because there are some misconceptions about this topic.
So what is self-love and what is not?
So self-love is not about loving yourself only when you achieve something.
It is about showing unconditional love to yourself.
Because it is very easy to show appreciation when things are going well,
Right?
When we have achieved something or when we've done something good at work.
But we also need to love ourselves when we have a bad day.
Because loving ourselves only when something good happens,
Or only because when we've done something well or we have achieved something,
That's conditional love.
And love shouldn't be conditional.
If it's conditional,
It's not love.
Self-love should be unconditional.
It should be about loving ourselves in the worst moments as well.
Like when you marry someone and you promise to love them,
You know,
In rich and when you're rich,
When you're poor,
When you're healthy,
When you're sick,
Right?
Well,
It should be the same with ourselves.
And we all understand that when you are marrying someone,
You make that commitment to love the other person in the good moments and in the bad ones.
But sometimes it can be difficult to think about it,
About ourselves,
Right?
So self-love is about unconditional love.
It's about also loving ourselves in the bad moments.
And probably it's when we're going to need it the most,
Right?
So not only when we achieve something,
Not only in the good days,
Not only when we feel good,
It's easy to love ourselves and to celebrate ourselves when that happens.
But it goes beyond that.
It is about unconditional love,
Just loving ourselves for being,
Just for being here.
That can be very tricky to do.
But I'm going to share some tips about how to do this later and why it's so important.
Self-love is not about being selfish.
It is about setting healthy boundaries.
So obviously,
Because we have this idea that if we love ourselves,
If we prioritise our needs,
If we are not available for everyone else,
Then we're not going to be a good person,
Then we're going to be considered selfish,
Right?
And although we can't go to the other extreme and be all me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
Me,
There needs to be a balance.
There needs to be a balance between caring for others,
Helping others,
But also acknowledging that we also have needs that need to be covered.
And this is very important because if our needs are not covered,
It's going to be very difficult for us to take care of other people.
So if you don't have a good rest,
It's going to be very difficult for you to be in a good mood to take care of your kids or to do your work properly.
So not only is it not selfish,
If you want to care for other people,
If you want to help other people,
You will need to make sure that you're in a state to do it,
That you're in a good state to do it.
Otherwise,
Not only you're not going to be able to help them,
Because you're not going to be at your best,
You're not going to be in a good state to do it,
You're going to end up feeling frustrated or resenting it because you're going to end up burnt out.
And how many times has this happened?
And especially to women,
I think we really struggle with setting boundaries because we have,
I think,
This kind of collective belief or programme that if we say no,
That if we are not available for everyone else,
That if we don't please others,
We are not a good person.
And I think this is kind of a collective programme that is very difficult to get rid of,
Because in many years working with many women,
This is something that most of them have had,
Regardless of their background,
Their culture,
Their country of origin.
So it's something kind of universal,
I would say.
So just know that self-love is not about being selfish.
If you want to be there for others first,
You need to be there for yourself.
Otherwise,
It's just asking for disaster.
Right,
Self-love is not about ego either.
It is about showing appreciation and valuing ourselves.
Because some people think that if they feel proud of something they have achieved,
Or if they believe in themselves,
Or if they show confidence,
They might come across as arrogant,
Right?
But far from the truth.
Self-love is not about.
.
.
It doesn't come from the ego.
It doesn't come from that need of being the centre of attention,
Or needing compliments.
It's not about external validation.
And we should keep humble.
This is a very important quality to have,
That is not very valued in this day and age society,
Unfortunately.
We should keep humble,
But at the same time,
Being able to recognise and celebrate our strengths,
Our qualities,
Our journey.
Self-love comes from standing in our power,
Really.
Self-love doesn't come from,
I don't deserve to show recognition,
Or I don't deserve a compliment.
Self-love is related to being able to appreciate ourselves.
Not from the ego perspective,
But just the idea that we believe in ourselves,
About being strong in ourselves,
About being in our power.
Very important.
And last thing,
Self-love is not about feeling sorry for ourselves.
It is about showing a loving approach to self-development.
Because some people see self-love,
Or they've told me that they see self-love as something kind of silly,
Because they see it as a weakness.
Kind of as a way to justify a lack of success.
Right?
Like,
Yeah,
So my life is a mess.
Yeah,
I'm just going to love myself the way I am.
There's nothing I can do about it.
Right?
But there is a subtle but very important difference,
Because self-love doesn't come from a victim perspective.
Self-love is not about,
Oh,
I'm so unlucky,
There is nothing I can do,
I'm just going to feel sorry for myself and do nothing about it.
Not at all.
If anything,
It's the opposite.
Again,
Self-love comes from standing in our power,
From believing in ourselves and treating ourselves with love,
With compassion,
With kindness.
You know,
Treating the self-development journey,
Our growth journey,
With compassion,
With kindness,
Respecting our own pace,
And understanding that we can't be pushing ourselves all the time.
And it's not about settling for whatever life throws at us,
Like we were a victim and we can't do anything about it,
And saying,
Yeah,
I'll just love myself,
This is what life has for me.
So it doesn't come from that mindset of being a victim and settling for whatever is going on around for us.
But if we push ourselves too much,
Then we can become our worst enemy.
And most of the time,
We are our worst enemy.
We can be so harsh on ourselves,
So critical.
We are not like that with other people,
But we are like that with ourselves,
Which is crazy.
So yeah,
Self-love is not about feeling sorry for ourselves.
It's definitely not a weakness.
But also we need to understand sometimes when we push ourselves too hard,
We can end up being burned out or we can feel very frustrated if we don't achieve all the goals we set for ourselves.
So it is good to have that self-criticism so we can improve what's not working in our lives,
So we can clear or get rid of what is no longer serving us,
So we can be better,
So we can be more successful,
But at our own pace,
Always with compassion,
With kindness.
And again,
Like you would treat a kid,
Right?
And sometimes when I talk about self-love,
I always say this,
Treat yourself like you would treat a kid,
Because you wouldn't shout to a kid.
You wouldn't treat.
.
.
If they make a mistake,
You would tell them,
But again,
With love,
With kindness.
It's okay.
You've made a mistake.
You'll get it right next time.
So that's a very good idea,
A very good point to keep in mind.
When you don't know what to do,
Treat yourself like you would treat a kid,
With that touch of.
.
.
With that gentleness,
With that compassion,
With that kindness.
Now we've talked about what self-love is and what isn't,
But why is self-love so important?
Why is loving ourselves so important?
Well,
Mainly because the way people treat us is just a reflection of how we treat ourselves.
So if you want people to respect you,
You need to respect yourself first.
If you want people to value you,
You need to value yourself first.
If you want your partner to treat you like a queen,
You need to believe that you deserve to be treated like a queen.
Otherwise,
It's not going to work.
And this links a lot with self-confidence,
Right?
And some people are very confident,
And I'm sure you can think of someone who enters a room and they have this kind of halo of self-confidence and everyone admires them.
But this only happens because that's what they project,
Because they project that confidence,
Because they have that inner confidence,
Because they believe in themselves.
But if we make ourselves small,
Energetically small,
If we don't believe in ourselves,
If we don't value ourselves,
If we don't know our self-worth,
If we are not able to acknowledge our self-worth,
People are not going to see us.
And also this happens a lot,
You know?
People who make themselves very small,
Energetically,
And they're quiet in the corner of a room,
You know?
And it doesn't mean that they don't have the skills,
It doesn't mean that they don't have strengths and they don't have amazing treasures,
But it's the way we believe in ourselves that will have an impact on how people perceive us.
So again,
No matter how many qualities,
How many strengths,
How many skills you have,
How good a person you are,
How big a heart you have,
If you don't believe that,
If you don't appreciate that,
If you don't value that,
People are not going to see it.
People are not going to see it,
Because most of the time what people see in us is what we project,
Is what we believe we are.
And when that mindset shifts and you start loving yourself and you start treating yourself better,
And you start setting healthy boundaries,
Then people are like,
Ah,
People feel the difference.
And because they see you value yourself,
They think,
Oh,
This person is very confident,
I'm going to respect her,
I'm going to value her.
So the change comes from within,
Not from other people.
Obviously there's always going to be someone who doesn't respect boundaries and who's just always criticising.
I'm not talking about that,
But in general,
What we project comes from within,
What people perceive from us is what we believe we are.
And the way people treat us is directly correlated to the beliefs we have about ourselves and how we treat ourselves.
So if you tend to find yourself in situations where people either don't treat you well,
Or don't respect your needs,
Or maybe you don't feel valued at work,
And you know,
Especially when there is a pattern,
Something that keeps repeating again and again,
Ask yourself,
How do I treat myself?
If people around you don't respect your needs,
Do I respect my needs?
If you don't feel valued at work,
And this is something recurring,
Do I believe in me,
In the work I do,
In my skills,
In my talents?
Or if you tend to get caught in relationships where they don't treat you well,
When they don't show love,
Where they don't respect you,
Where they expect everything from you,
Ask yourself,
Do I love myself?
How do I treat myself?
Do I expect everything from myself?
Because if you don't love yourself and you don't treat yourself well,
And you don't value yourself and you don't respect yourself,
No one will.
As simple as that.
So self-love is not just a fluffy concept or idea,
It's definitely not related to being weak.
If anything,
It's the opposite.
When we love ourselves,
Then we can connect with our inner power,
With our inner essence.
We can become empowered and then people around us will start treating us with love,
With respect,
Will start valuing us.
And ultimately,
You deserve to love yourself just for who you are.
It's a human right.
It should be a human right to love yourself,
To treat yourself and to love you like you deserve because you do.
And if someone has told you the opposite,
They're wrong.
So I know this whole idea about loving yourself more and valuing yourself and respecting your needs sounds all very well.
I know it is easier said than done.
So a few steps you can take to practice self-love and to celebrate and honour yourself more.
So the first step,
Give yourself permission to love yourself,
To set boundaries,
To prioritise your needs.
Permission,
Giving yourself permission is the first step.
When I work one-on-one with my clients,
I always remind them that they have the right to take care of themselves.
The setting boundaries is not selfish.
We always do a lot of work around this.
But ultimately,
No matter how many times I tell you in this podcast or in a one-on-one session that it is okay to show yourself love,
You need to give yourself that permission.
You need to believe that.
So maybe this is a mantra,
An affirmation that you can repeat again and again,
That you can add to your meditation,
That you can write and read out loud every day when you wake up or before going to bed.
I deserve to love myself.
I deserve to practice self-love.
It is okay to love myself.
It is safe for me to love myself.
I deserve to treat myself well.
I deserve to treat myself with love,
Compassion and kindness,
In whatever way you want to phrase it.
But very important,
Give yourself that permission.
Now step number two.
Review your beliefs,
Your ideas,
Your thoughts about yourself and self-love.
Because maybe you are trying to love yourself more and maybe you really,
Really want to give yourself that permission to do it,
But there is resistance.
And if this happens,
If there is resistance,
There might be some beliefs or programs that are clashing with the idea of loving yourself unconditionally.
So those beliefs could sound like,
I am not worthy of love.
I don't deserve to love myself.
I must prioritize other people's needs to be loved.
If I stand up for myself,
People won't like it.
Something like that.
So I would recommend that you go and have a look at episode number three,
Which has everything you need to know about clearing old beliefs and old programs.
And it even has an exercise to bring unconscious beliefs to the awareness.
Because the thing is that you're probably listening to this podcast and you're saying,
Well,
It makes perfect sense that I deserve to love myself,
Right?
Sure.
But maybe there is something unconscious,
Maybe there are some unconscious beliefs that are clashing with this idea of deserving unconditional love.
And in this episode,
I covered how to bring those unconscious beliefs that we might not be aware of,
How to bring them to our awareness.
Because if we are not aware of them,
Then it's impossible to change them.
Right.
Once we become aware of them,
Then we can do something about it.
We can start,
You know,
Kind of investigating where they come from,
What's their purpose,
How are they serving us,
What we need to do to change them.
Right.
But first of all,
We need to become aware of them,
Because otherwise,
You're not going to be able to do anything about them.
So,
So yeah,
So give yourself permission.
And if there is some resistance,
Maybe you need to review some beliefs or programs or ideas about yourself,
About self-love,
About unconditional love,
About treating yourself well.
Right.
Step number three,
Add self-love moments to your daily routine.
And it can be hugging yourself,
Giving yourself a hug when you wake up or before going to bed.
It could be reminding yourself of your skills,
Your superpowers,
Your inner treasures.
It could be looking at yourself in the mirror and just telling yourself,
I love you.
You are a wonderful woman.
We don't do this enough.
And I'm sure some people think,
Oh,
That's so silly.
But why not?
We should give ourselves a daily reminder of how much we love ourselves,
Of how wonderful we are,
Because,
Because you are.
And you're thinking,
But I'm not a wonderful woman.
But you are.
You are just by being here today.
You know,
So it could be any form of self-appreciation.
But make sure that you add this to your daily routine.
Practice makes perfect,
Like with any skill you want to learn.
Right.
So you might want to consciously practice and even to put some self-love time in your diary until it becomes a habit.
And you don't need to think about it.
Because if you want to add a habit,
You will have to,
You will have to kind of train yourself and you can train yourself to love yourself more.
You know,
It might sound silly,
But it is true.
Right.
So add it to your daily routine,
Like even if you have to put it in your calendar and it can take five minutes a day.
It can be as simple as that and take as little as a few minutes a day just to show some love to yourself.
Just to say some kind words to start the day with.
Say some kind words to yourself before going to bed.
And especially if you had a tough day.
And it's going to change your mood,
Your mindset completely.
Completely.
Not to mention that love,
Unconditional love is the highest frequency energy.
So if you are able to demonstrate love to yourself and show love to yourself,
You're going to be shifting your energy.
You're going to be transmuting your energy.
So any fears,
Any stress,
Any worries,
Any feelings of guilt,
Anger,
You know,
Lower vibration emotions or energies,
Unconditional love transmutes them all.
It is so powerful.
It is that powerful.
Trust me.
And step number four,
Understand and honor your needs.
So first of all,
We start by giving ourselves permission,
Then we review any beliefs that might be getting in the way.
We actively add self-love moments to our daily routine.
And then we need to understand and honor our needs.
Because sometimes we are so busy taking care of others and just,
You know,
Getting caught in the hamster wheel that we have forgotten that we are not aware that we also have needs.
And it would be lovely to meet those needs,
You know.
And we take on a lot of commitments just because we are so used to being so busy and sometimes because we don't know how to say no.
How many times have you been invited to an event you didn't want to go to?
Or maybe you wanted to go but you were so tired or you had other priorities,
Other things that were way more important,
But you ended up going because it was the right thing to do,
Because it was polite,
Because it was not okay to say no,
Because you might have hurt someone.
And again,
We can go to the extreme where everything is about ourselves and we don't care about anyone else because that's not good.
But you should be able to understand your needs,
Your priorities.
And there is an episode about,
In this podcast,
About finding clarity that I would recommend you listen to,
Because sometimes when I work with clients,
Sometimes I tell them,
But what are your needs?
Like what are your priorities?
Or what makes you happy?
What makes you healthy?
What has a positive impact in your mind?
They're like,
You know what?
I'm so busy thinking about others that I don't know.
I don't know.
So we have to start that process of self-discovery and understanding what is good for you.
And once you're clear on your needs,
Honor them.
If you need to have a bath to disconnect,
Do it.
If you need to do exercise or spend time cooking healthy food to improve your health,
Because that is your priority,
Do it.
Prioritize it over other things.
And if you have to say no to some social events because you need to rest or because you're studying something new,
Do it.
Give yourself permission to do it,
Because no one else is going to do it for you.
And especially,
I've worked with many women in the corporate world,
And a lot of them are so stressed and either burnt out or very close to being burnt out.
And they would say,
But I can't leave work.
I always have to do additional hours.
I wish someone told me that I don't have to stay until late today.
But no one's going to tell you that.
Obviously,
Your manager is not going to tell you that.
You have the choice to say,
No,
I'm going to finish on time.
If I finish work at five,
If my contract says I'll work until five,
I'm going to leave at five,
Not at 7.
30.
So a lot of times it's up to us to set those boundaries and to prioritize our needs.
Because if we don't do,
No one's going to do it for us.
So having a healthy balance between keeping humble and caring for others and helping others.
But again,
To do that,
We need to love ourselves.
If you don't love yourself unconditionally,
No one's going to love you unconditionally.
If you don't take care of your needs,
It's going to be very difficult for you to take care of other people's needs without either being drained or exhausted.
And that is not healthy.
So those are the four steps I wanted to share with you about how to practice more self-love in your daily routine.
So I hope that after listening to this episode,
You have a different idea about what self-love is.
And I really hope this episode has given you a bit of encouragement to give yourself permission to love yourself more,
To treat yourself with the love,
Compassion and kindness you deserve and to celebrate yourself for no reason in particular.
And this is the key,
To celebrate yourself for no reason in particular,
Just for being you.
So if you got something from this episode,
Something to add to your daily routine,
Just celebrate yourself for being you.
Not like,
Oh,
I achieved a lot of things yesterday,
I worked really hard and I've done this and this and that.
No,
I love myself just because I am here today,
Just for who I am.
And you see how this is going to change your mindset,
Your mood and how other people treat you.
If you practice it for a few weeks in a row,
You'll see the difference.
Okay,
My loves,
So that was all from me.
If you're enjoying this podcast,
Please,
Please,
Please,
Please,
Please subscribe,
Give it a good review and share it with your friends and loved ones.
Invite more people to join the Positive Mindset Tribe,
The more the merrier.
I'm going to leave a link to my website in the description for those of you who want to find out more about my background,
The work I do and how I can help you with topics like self-love in my one-on-one sessions and programs.
And feel free to reach out with any questions you might have and any other suggestions of topics that you would like me to cover in future episodes,
Because I read your suggestions and I cover them in my content.
So please feel free to make any suggestions.
Okay,
My loves,
Sending much love and light to everyone.
See you next week.
Bye-bye.
