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COURSE

Healing Our Body With The Power Of The Mind - Cancer & Chronic Disease Recovery

With Tenzin Josh

Healing from chronic disease is more and more understood to be primarily a function of the mind. Negative emotional issues are well understood to be one of the major causes of chronic disease especially cancer. If then, we don't work with our minds when diagnosed with these issues we are simply not giving ourselves a fair chance. This course will teach you, in theory and practise, how to get the mind in the right place for healing. Creating awareness, dealing with our negative emotions, healing with positive emotions and a radical transformation of our self identity into a better healed version of ourselves. Everything well known to be necessary on the mental level for healing is included in this course. Both in theory and with practical exercises.

Using the mind to heal our body from cancer and other chronic disease.

42 Days

624 students

4.8 stars

15 min / day

English

About this course

Samatha

Tonglen

Gratitude Meditation

Meet your Teacher

Tenzin Josh

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Phuket, Thailand

Tenzin has a wealth of experience in coaching people to train their minds to live life to the full. He has gained a deep knowledge of mental well-being techniques and meditation through years of dedicated study and practise. Tenzin has trained for over 35 years including spending 15 years as a monk alongside HH Dalai Lama in India. Initially he was 3 years in meditation retreat in the mountains and then spent 12 years in the Dalai Lama’s monastery studying in depth up to PHD level. He is one of only a few westerners to have ever had this incredible privilege studying the traditional Tibetan language monastic curriculum. After this period and with the Dalai Lama’s instruction and blessings Tenzin decided he wanted to use his knowledge and experience to help others alleviate their suffering and achieve their best life possible. It is this mission which has set Tenzin on this path to help you find peace, happiness, and fulfilment through mental well-being. He has practised in all the major Buddhist traditions in India, Burma, Thailand and Sri Lanka, translated various works from Tibetan to English and served as translator for many renowned Tibetan masters. Qualified in both western psychological (Bsc.) and eastern spiritual traditions (Ba. and Masters) he can combine and utilize the best in both these disciplines to enable us to bring joy into our minds and thereby our lives. He has been leading and involved in over 100 retreats all over the world for the past 25 years bringing long term transformation to people’s lives. More recently over the last 6/7 years Tenzin has been specifically working within cancer and other chronic disease clinics enabling this vital element to healing within many patients. He has worked with hundreds of people with chronic disease especially cancer. Bringing healing as well as relief to patients and their families.

View Profile

42 Days

624 students

4.8 stars

15 min / day

English

Lesson 1

Creating Awareness 2 Meditation Practice

In this practice, one is simply becoming aware of the breath in a gentle way. Do not breathe differently simply breathing normally becomes aware of the breath. Watch the breath as it enters all the way down to the chest and then leaves again, let the breath be what it is deep or shallow, long or short. We divide the practice into three parts: a. Begin by using counting to help keep one’s attention., Breathe in and out then count one, then in and out and two and so forth up until ten, and then start at one again. B. continue without counting just observing the breath. C. Observe the breath just at the tip of the nostrils as the breath enters and leaves the nose. One’s attention will inevitably wander this is normal. When it does, very gently become aware that one has lost the object of attention and bring it back to the breath. If counting do not return to count one but continue where you were. Don’t become involved in thoughts nor become upset with them. Be aware that they have arisen and allow them to simply move on. Let them pass by like a cloud through the sky. Don’t expect thoughts to stop completely this is not the idea, it is to learn to not follow and not become involved in thoughts. Learn to see you are not your thoughts. RELAX let yourself gently be attentive to the object without any tension or force. Be GENTLE with yourself and your practice. There is a balance to achieve since though being relaxed is essential being alert is also vital. We are trying to combine two mental factors normally not seen together; clarity and stability. As Roshi states ‘the mind must be unhurried, yet at the same time firmly planted or massively composed…But it must also be alert, stretched, like a taut bowstring…. this is a heightened state of concentrated awareness wherein one is neither tense nor hurried and certainly never slack. It is the mind of somebody facing death!’ Session 1/2 Challenges: 1. Please do the meditation once with the audio, and one more time during the day. Ideally in the morning but anytime is also OK. Find your meditation spot and try to stay with that. 2. Contemplate the quote that ‘reality is a function of what we pay attention to’, in other words, it is our mental state that determines our reality not the ‘objective’ world. 3. Consider your basis of acceptance and particularly your reason and purpose for being alive.

Lesson 2

Creating Awareness As Our Foundation

Session 1 - Fundamentals Quote for the day: “Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.” William Shakespeare What we should learn: • Centrality of the mind: Our mind is both the biggest source and saviour of our physical health. The onset of cancer and other chronic issues has been widely shown to predominantly arise from emotional issues not only from physical/environmental ones. Likewise, the ability to heal from these conditions cannot happen without the mind being in the right place. In fact, many would argue that healing can happen through our minds alone. This reality is the logical basis behind the placebo effect, where placebos have been found to be 60-70% as effective as a real pill. • Mind and body: The fact is that our mind is clearly the predominant condition for our reality/happiness not external conditions. As William James states ‘reality is a function of what we pay attention to’ Of all the ‘realities’ that our mind influences and even creates possibly the closest and therefore most pervasive is that with our body, we have almost 24 hours connection with our bodies so it is clear how important this is. We need to become aware of which mental states lead to ill health and which don’t. Clearly negative emotions even the subtle everyday stresses and tensions are constantly challenging our health. • Important factors: The documentary ‘Heal’ which looks at people who have radically recovered from cancer shows the a list, given by people who have recovered, of what they attribute their healing to. 7 of the 9 points on that list are mental! We will cover all these points during this course. • Working with our minds: we all understand the dynamic that on the external physical world certain actions bring certain results. We know if we plant a seed water it, give it sunlight and so forth we will get a flower. If we put the right ingredients together for a cake and put it in the oven, we get a cake as a result. We live within this cause-and-effect relationship every day. What we often miss however is that this exact same dynamic applies to our mental world also. What we do with our minds now brings corresponding results in the future. In fact, the mind is trainable in a deeper and more profound way than external objects. Physically we are limited, we can only jump so high, run so fast, etc. Mentally however these limits pretty much don’t exist the extent to which we can develop our minds is almost limitless. It is therefore essential that we work on this level of our lives and indeed health we are not giving ourselves a fair chance unless we attend to our minds

Lesson 3

Extending And Deepening Our Basis Of A Calm Mind

Quote for the day: “I’ve experienced several different healing methodologies over the years – counseling, self-help seminars, and I’ve read a lot – but none of them will work unless you really want to heal.” – Lindsay Wagner Points to understand: • Building our foundation: We will continue today with our calm abiding as this is the foundation of working with our mind creating not only peace, awareness and calm but being the basis for the more substantial work we will undertake as we move along. • Steps to improve our practice: We will work today at improving our meditation practice. Although meditation is unlike most activities that we are familiar with in that we are not trying to achieve something, go somewhere, etc. we do need to gently work on our practice to improve our focus and awareness. This is achieved not by pushing or forcing ourselves to practice harder but by setting the right conditions that allow development. Just as we don’t sit over a flower and push it to grow, we ensure the soil, sunlight, and water are all right and then let it grow naturally, in a similar way we create the right conditions for our practice to naturally develop. • Conditions to cultivate: The 2 most important conditions are; mindfulness and introspection. These are both mental capacities or ‘muscles’ that can be strengthened. • Mindfulness: traditionally defined as ‘the ability to stay with the virtuous or neutral object of attention’. We should make effort to cultivate this capacity both within and outside our meditation. Inside our meditation we exert a gentle effort to keep ourselves in the moment with our object; the degree of effort can be compared to that of holding a live bird in our hands. If we hold too tight we injure or kill the bird, too loose and it flies away. During the day cultivate firstly mindful moments 4 or 5 times during the day; stop and just be in the moment with your breath for 30 seconds or 10 breaths. (a reminding bell can help with this, see appendix 1). As well as this do a mindful action during the day, it can be walking, eating, drinking, cleaning your teeth etc. just a normal action but stop before you do it and bring yourself into the moment do the action slowly and mindfully. • Introspection: the ability to look within knowing the state of your mind. In meditation, it is compared to a sentry or guard having an overview of where you are and being able to notice when the mind gets distracted and bringing yourself back. Outside our meditation also stop and be introspective during the day, noticing where the mind is and where it has been.

Lesson 4

Deepening Our Awareness - Meditation

Talking to the body: Learn to befriend your body, being disconnected from your body is a serious problem and especially important to enable healing using our mind. Although it is understood that any energy you give to your illness, positive or negative, will feed it and therefore not be helpful, we do need to converse with the healing in our bodies. So at the end of meditation begin a friendly conversation with your body, especially where you have issues, asking it and encouraging it to heal, to restore balance. Ideally, have this conversation with the healing not with the illness. The energy we give to our sickness will feed it so remember we are not talking to the sickness we are talking to our healing. The challenge for session 3/4: 1. Do the meditation as per the audio and ideally once more each day. 2. Work both within and outside meditation on cultivating mindfulness and introspection, as explained above. 3. Learn to talk to the body’s healing at the end of your calm abiding meditation again as explained above.

Lesson 5

Further Steps To Deepen And Improve Our Awareness

Quote for the day: “Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work.” – Thich Nhat Hanh Points to understand: • Developing our meditation: We will continue today with our calm abiding as this is essential to develop calm and focus but also to learn to let negative states of mind go and to allow positive states to manifest. • Daily habits: Begin to make daily calm abiding meditation a morning habit. When you rise set a motivation have a wash, a drink, do some stretching or yoga etc. but try to avoid screens and conversations before you meditate. Sit down ideally in the same place (or if that’s not possible the same cushion maybe!) and start to cultivate a regular habit, making this your happy spot! • Essence of meditation: Meditation is combining 2 aspects of our mind that are not usually found together; clarity and stability. A normal mind has these qualities but is usually not combined, we are clear when agitated, angry emotional, etc. but we are not stable. When stable, at the end of a long day spacing out, etc. we have stability but not clarity. • Dog & Lion analogy: One of the ways to think about thoughts in meditation and how to deal with them is beautifully illustrated by the dog and lion analogy. Don’t be like the dog with our thoughts chasing after them like a dog with sticks again and again, but like a lion let them go and come back to your object of meditation. Use this analogy and understand that the thoughts are part of your mind, not some external reality that we absolutely must engage with.

Lesson 6

Continuing To Deepen Our Practice - Meditation

Balance: The way to work on this as well as the mindfulness and introspection we talked of last session is to work on our balance in meditation. As with any balance, the key is to find the middle between 2 extremes. Here the extremes are excitement and dullness: 1. Excitement; can be gross when we lose our object completely or subtly where we are with the object but thoughts are going on in the background. The former is an issue we want to work with, calm the mind down think about subjects which settle us down take some deep breathes or visualize the mind as a dark circle at the heart and sink it down 3 times. Subtle excitement for us is not too much of a problem and it is unlikely we will be able to eliminate this at our level of practice. Be aware of this and at least learn to let the thoughts be in the background and not follow them but otherwise they can be there as long as you stay with your object. 2. Dullness: again, this can be major where we are virtually asleep or minor where we are with our object but have no clarity. Dullness is a more serious problem as it can lead to lessening of our intelligence and the development of an animal type mind. When this occurs we need to work with both of these types. Do so by raising the mind up think of inspiring subjects, gratitude the potential of our life etc. Sit up more or do the opposite from the above and visualise the mind as a white ball in the middle of the chest and shoot it up through the crown 3 times. If this dullness continues then leave the meditation and come back when you are less sleepy. The challenges for session 5/6: • Do the meditation as per the audio and again once each day, finish with talking to the body encouraging healing. • Once you feel comfortable begin to extend the time minute by minute but only as you feel comfortable. Ideally, look towards working up to about 20–30-minute sessions. • Especially work on your balance in meditation avoiding the extremes of dullness and excitement but during the day try to notice when you are feeling dull or excited. • Keep up with the mindful moments during the day and mindful action, as well as the introspective moments.

Lesson 7

Personalizing Our Calm Abiding Practice

Quote for the day: “The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss Points to understand: • Individualizing our practice: We will continue with the foundation of our mental work calm abiding meditation but we will reduce the sections to 2 instead of 3. We will observe the breath using counting and then just at the tip of the nostrils. As you progress with this breathing meditation you can find which method suits you and stay with that only. It may be counting; it may be a part of the breath, the nose, the chest diaphragm or the stomach. Find what is the easiest for you to focus on and stay with that. Remember however that this is an observation exercise not a breathing one so let the breath be natural and stay on one object, either the whole breath or a part you find easy. • Addicted to thinking! As you will be already aware the greatest obstacle to our focusing are our thoughts, we are all to greater or lesser degrees addicted to thinking and this is not healthy. • What is thinking? The first vital important point to recognize is that we are not our thoughts, only when we identify with them can they cause us a problem. Thoughts are images of reality, not the reality itself. We can think about another country a person who is not with us despite those not being an object of our senses. These are therefore images of these things, not the things themselves. • It’s all in the mind: Rather than letting the thoughts drag you away from your meditation by understanding the thoughts as being part of your mind let them bring you back to the practice. • Inside and outside formal meditation: This ability to let go of thoughts is not only useful inside meditation but also throughout the day. If we allow anxiety stress etc. to rule our mind then we block our ability to heal.

Lesson 8

Personalising Our Practice - Meditation

How to go deeper more quickly: 9 round breathing is an effective way to come more quickly into a calm state right from the start of the meditation. Nine round breathing: • Start with the hands on the knees, face down • Bring the right index finger up to the left nostril, sealing it, and breathe in with the right nostril, at the same time clench the left fist. Move the finger to the right nostril seal and breathe out through the left while simultaneously letting the fist go. • Bring the left index finger to the right nostril, seal it, and breathe in through the left nostril while clenching the right fist. Move the finger to the left nostril seal and breathe out through the right while letting the fist go. • Keep both hands on the knees, and breath in through both nostrils while clenching the fists. Breathe out through both nostrils while letting both fists go. • Repeat the above 3 times. Challenges for session 7/8: 1. Do the meditation as per the audio and at least once more during the day, slowly extend the time as you feel comfortable, and settle on how you want to observe the breath. Become familiar with the 9-round breathing and incorporate it into your practice if you find it useful. 2. End your meditation by connecting to the body and encouraging healing. 3. Keep up the mindful moments and mindful action as well as an introspective moment during the day.

Lesson 9

Learning To Let Go

Quote for the day: “Healing requires us to stop struggling, but to enjoy life more and endure it less.” – Darina Stoyanova Points to understand: • Letting go: there is a conundrum here with letting go as any effort made attempting to let go actually causes us to be more stuck than before! So, this is a super important concept to get clear. The way to learn to let go is twofold: initially, we need to learn that most of the thoughts, situations, and realities we create for ourselves are not worthy of our attention. We will learn concepts and practices to help do this as we move through the course. The real key to letting go in the moment both within and outside meditation is to get below the superficial ‘fabricating’ level of our minds. In other words, by not paying attention or reifying our thought processes we can get to a deeper level of our awareness that is naturally free from this agitation. Meditation is certainly the most powerful, and possibly the only tool to do this. • Our mind: the nature of our mind has levels a superficial one which is mostly uncomfortable and involved in obsessive rumination etc. and a deeper calmer more joyful subtle level. On the superficial level, we are constantly fabricating our reality and this is very often the main cause of stress, anxiety, worry, fear, etc. This fabrication doesn’t exist at the more subtle level of our minds, which consists of pure awareness.

Lesson 10

Letting Go - Meditation

We begin the Choice-less awareness practice with some moments of breathing and then move our attention to the mind. Like a clear dawn sky or clear lake, we try to stay with this subtle level of our minds. If nothing else arises we stay with this but very soon something will come up. This may be a sound, a sensation within the body, a taste, a smell, or a tactile object. Mostly, however, it will be thoughts in the mind. When they arise, we should label them as what they are; a sound of a bird, an itch or pain within the body, or a thought about yesterday, our friend, etc. This will enable us to not be involved in or identify with them. Rather we should keep ourselves as an observer merely watching, just as if we were watching a movie, TV or a show. When we lose our perspective and become involved in a thought or sensation etc., we notice we’ve lost our attention, step back from the distraction return ourselves to being the observer and allow the disturbance to arise, be there and naturally go on its way. While practicing learn to notice each time you become involved and follow the thoughts or other distractions and bring your mind back by labeling and allowing the thought to naturally be there and naturally pass by. Just like the sky which is unaffected by the birds, planes, clouds, or even bombs that might pass through it, keep your mind like the sky simply observing but not being pulled away by thoughts, sensations, etc. Challenges for sessions 9/10: i. Do the breathing/mind meditation and the choice-less awareness meditation at least once. Work on naturally extending the length of the practice and aim to start the day this way. At the end of each meditation spend a few minutes talking to the body. ii. Maintain mindful moments 4 or 5 times during the day, perform a mindful action, and be introspective at least one time during the day. iii. Try practicing choice-less awareness during everyday activities e.g. looking at a view, walking, etc.

Lesson 11

Connecting With Our Bodies

Quote for the day: “There is deep wisdom within our very flesh if we can only come to our senses and feel it.” – Elizabeth Behnke Points to understand: a. Connection: “Mr. Duffy lived a short distance from his body.” ― James Joyce, Dubliners. Our mind and body are intimately related and affect each other in ways we rarely consider. Our minds can influence our body in manifold ways from simply relaxing, to enabling healing from any illness. Sadly this connection as the quote states is almost lost to many of us. We have lost our connection both with the healthier parts of our mind and also many times with our body itself. b. Awareness: should not just be of mental states but an awareness of our body is essential particularly when the body is out of balance and unwell. The basis of being able to influence the body through the mind is our calm abiding practise. The deeper and stronger our attention the more the effect we can induce. Once we combine a calm focused mind with attention to the body almost anything is possible. c. Healing our body with our mind: there is huge potential to work with our body through our minds and the effect that the mind can have on the body is vastly underestimated. It is a well-evidenced truth that the essence of healing arises from connecting the mind with the body and using the power of the mind to work with our healing process. The effectiveness of this ability relies upon a number of factors, the strength of the concentration or focus within the mind, the joy or energy the mind has, and going into the body in as deep a way as possible. If we can get down to the molecular level of the body the effects can bring the deepest changes. Research has extensively shown that even chronic life-threatening diseases can be reversed by talking to the body at this deep level. The principle here lies in the fact that the body, certainly compared to the mind is quite stupid! Just as seen within the placebo effect if the mind tells the body something it simply believes this to be true and acts accordingly.

Lesson 12

Connecting With The Body - Meditation

The Body scan practice: body scan meditation as explained below brings many benefits. Apart from the main one, the ability to heal it also is a lovely way to relax before sleep, for example. It also allows for a more realistic mental image of our body, often we exasperate our physical issues through mental over-exaggeration and distortion of them. Being with our body through this practice helps to lessen this habit and be more real about how our body is actually feeling. Challenges for sessions 11/12: • Do the breathing meditation at least once finishing with talking to the body, preferably first thing in the morning. Then do the body scan with the audio and ideally one more time later in the day, the evening or just before sleeping is ideal. • Keep up the mindful moments, mindful action and introspective moment during the day • Bring the awareness of the body into the day, use opportunities you have to bring your attention to the body, and feel what state it is in. This should consist of simple awareness without judgment in an open way. • Contemplate the quote: ‘There is deep wisdom within our very flesh if we can only come to our senses and feel it.’ Body scan meditation The practice: Begin with setting one's position comfortable but upright, then take a few deeper breathes calming the mind and the body. Then dividing the body into 2 or 3 parts we begin to scan each part with our minds. We take the middle of the body down to the feet as the first part and slowly going through each part of that section of the body we examine and describe to ourselves whatever is there. We may feel tension or calm, relaxed or agitated. We should notice where the body is in contact with another object and where it is not. There may be a heaviness or lightness there, heat or cold. Or one may be able to sense a color or shape that part of the body. Whatever is there without judging or trying to change it in any way we just observe and feel whatever is there. Having gone through that part of the body we then, using breathing, breathe into ourselves white light which is the essence of healing, energy, life, and joy and we are left feeling relaxed and full of joy. On the out breath, we dispel black smoke or dirt which is all the suffering, pain, discomfort, or disease we have so that it completely disappears leaving us free from any problems. We then move to the lower stomach and back and gradually up the body through the whole upper body simply noticing whatever is there. As before whether tense or relaxed, hot or cold etc., we simply observe whatever is there. Having gone all the way through right into each of the fingers and thumbs we then do as before breathing in white light to that part of the body filling it with health, energy, life, and joy. We then breathe out black smoke or dirt which symbolizes all our sufferings, pains, etc. The body is left free from all these and blissfully relaxed and happy. If we wish to divide the body into more than 2 sections to do this practice we can add the neck and head as another area or any other way we wish to separate the body up. We may even want to focus on areas that have more issues as well which is perfectly OK to do. The important thing is to observe the body as carefully as one can and simply describe what we see there. Thank you

Lesson 13

Gratitude - Creating A Better Outlook

Quote for the day: “Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh Points to understand: • 2 ways to meditate: We have focused until now on the generation of awareness using calm abiding practice. The reason is that transformation requires integration into our being and for that some ability to rest and focus on a topic is essential. So please always continue with this type of meditation preferably to begin your day. The more transformative way to meditate is called ‘analytical meditation’ where we use our ability to focus and apply it to a mental quality that we wish to enhance. • Analytical practice: We are in this session going to do an analytical meditation. The key to this type of meditation is to use our ability to focus and place this on a positive subject. Rather than leaving this as a thought though try to let it come down to a feeling and focus on the feeling. • ‘Reality is a function of what we pay attention to’: While negative emotions clearly create and hinder our ability to recover from chronic disease, positive emotions are the basis of avoiding and healing such disease. The theoretical basis to this is summed up in the expression; ‘our reality is a product of what we pay attention to’. In other words by directing our intention to the good things that we have to be grateful for in our lives we start to direct our attention to the positive and therefore create a better reality. • Benefits of gratitude: Gratitude is one of the most powerful positive emotions. It not only keeps our mind away from the negative but also fosters self-love and even more importantly opens our perspective to the connection we share with others. • Integration of this into our lives: Bringing this feeling regularly into our minds resets our mental space and thereby the reality that it is creating in an open, non-judgmental, accepting way. If we can combine this feeling with our ability to focus through our calm abiding then it begins to integrate into our life and become the way we experience the world.

Lesson 14

Gratitude - Meditation Practice

Gratitude Meditation Sitting comfortably but upright we begin with a few deeper breaths calming our mind and body. Then bringing ourselves into the present moment and breathing normally we bring the attention to the breath for a few minutes. We then try to as realistically as possible imagine being in a state of existence worse than our own. Imagine being a person whose life is constant pain physically or emotionally. Someone, who has uncontrollable cravings or addictions, which is all that can occupy their minds, someone in a place of famine or a war zone. An animal in constant fear of being killed, eaten, at the mercy of the elements, and having very limited intelligence to be able to understand the concepts we can. Then bring your mind back to yourself and see how fortunate to are as we are. Then imagine being physically and mentally less able than you are, or being born in a place where freedoms are severely curtailed. Or imagine being like the majority of people who have no interest or faith in the possibility of self-development or being happier in one's life. Then again return to your own life and feel how fortunate. Then consider the qualities that your life does have; being human, educated, intelligent, having time and resources to be able to experiment with new and better ways to be, physically and mentally. There are places and teachers where we can learn new ways and have the wish within ourselves to try new methods. Add what you personally feel grateful for your family, friends, career, etc. Again, rejoice and appreciate these things. See how almost all we have comes in dependence on others, our parents our teachers, the people and animals involved in our food every day, the people that enable us to have clothing, housing, transport, etc. Remember most importantly to not stay with ‘thoughts’ but let this be a feeling and focus on that. Conclude with dedication/prayer that our practice may be beneficial to all living beings. Challenges for Session 13/14: • Do the meditation on gratitude as in the audio. • Do the meditation on breathing at least once preferably in the morning before screens, conversations, etc. Finish it by talking to the body. • Write a list of the things in your life you feel grateful for, as extensive and complete as possible, keep this list and make these topics frequent objects of contemplation. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, do mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. Be aware!

Lesson 15

Meaning & Purpose

Quote for the day: ‘he who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how’ - Nietzsche Points to understand: • Purpose: having a meaning or purpose to live is essential to remember, focus on, and create if need be. This has been shown to directly influence our health and lifespan, without this purpose or meaning in our lives healing becomes far more difficult. When we look at radical remission from cancer having a sense of meaning and purpose is pretty much always there, just as illustrated in the points listed earlier from the documentary ‘heal’. Also look at the table below showing what prolongs our life and we can see that ‘In service’ is highlighted due to its importance. • What does this purpose look like? Clearly purpose is an individual unique quality but we can assist by contemplating some wise examples of purpose. These can be roughly listed as the 3: i) family, friends, and connection ii) Foundational spirituality living in the moment ‘being alive’ in our life, having self-compassion and becoming a better person iii) love & compassion for others especially as regards chronic disease which is so prevalent in the world. The essence is that the life we have now has huge potential to do more than simply go through the motions of being alive. • Integrating this purpose into our lives: hearing or thinking that we need a purpose alone is not enough, we must integrate this purpose into our being. We accomplish this through doing the gratitude meditation and then contemplating the potential we have in this life. As with all these types of meditation, the key is to come to a conclusion, let that be a feeling, and focus on the feeling.

Lesson 16

Meaning & Purpose - Meditation Practice

Meditation on the purpose or meaning of being alive: As before begin with the gratitude meditation to reach a feeling of deep gratitude towards what you have in this life. Follow that by recognizing the potential that this life has. We can waste our days in distraction if we choose but clearly, something more meaningful is far healthier. Consider the various levels of meaning; our family, friends, career, home, etc. identify what for you is the purpose of being alive. Go further and think of the potential we have to become better, kinder, wiser people for our own and other's benefit. The greatest meaning is widely understood to be love and compassion, opening one’s heart to others, to the suffering in the world, and being here for the benefit of others. Bring this strong purpose into the mind through reasoning and then once you have the conclusion let it become a strong feeling and focus on that feeling. Dedicate your practice to all beings. Challenges for sessions 15/16: • Do the meditation from the audio • Write a list of your reasons for living, let these be in your thoughts throughout the day • Do the meditation on breathing at least once preferably in the morning before screens, conversations etc. Finish it with talking to the body. • Maintain the mindful moments during the day, a mindful action and learn to cultivate introspection. • Contemplate the quote ‘he who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how’ and the other instances where meaning/purpose are mentioned. E.g. Victor Frankl ‘man’s search for meaning’

Lesson 17

Cultivating Acceptance

Quote for the day: ‘Acceptance can be viewed as an act of the mind; it is a cognitive stance…. Acceptance is, in some senses, an ingathering of attention that is key to all transformation processes’ Kathleen Dowling Singh Points to understand: • Acceptance is the opposite of resistance. Resistance is a negative harmful emotion that hinders both our mental health and our body’s ability to heal. Think about not having slept properly and rather than accepting it, complaining and becoming worried about how we will handle the day. Acceptance makes it far easier than resistance. This is just as true with small problems as bigger ones. Without acceptance there is no ability to move, heal and change as the above quote states. It is said that healing begins with acceptance and ends with letting go. • Physiologically the same part of our brain lights up when we resist as when we have negative emotions such as anger etc. The right side of the prefrontal region that lies behind your forehead lights up when we’re trying to avoid something. • Techniques: How do we begin to develop this capacity to accept? a. Reality check: A frank honest view of the reality and the fact that life is not always easy helps to bring this acceptance into our mind. A realization that what we want to achieve is blocked by resistance also helps: By fighting sleeplessness, we create insomnia By fighting anxiety, we create panic By fighting grief, we may develop depression By fighting back pain, we may create a chronic pain syndrome By fighting our daughter’s lousy boyfriend, we may get a lousy son-in-law! The same is absolutely true with the diagnosis of a serious disease at first it may seem impossible but it is possible and essential for healing. We can only begin the essential change of our mental attitude when we have accepted. This ability to accept is already something we know and have done many times. We need to bring that capacity into our present situation. b. Not complaining: We can develop the capacity to accept through training ourselves not to complain, starting with short periods and extending gradually. Through meditation developing an open non-judgmental attitude to whatever comes and through integrating the reality of change into our lives. We feel that resistance to what we don’t like will help to avoid it but the opposite is the case. c. Seeing the nature of change: The change meditation in the audio for this session is a very powerful way to let go and cultivate acceptance. The irony of this is that we try to hold onto things as not changing as we wish to be secure but doing so actually makes us more insecure. Security comes through integrating the reality of change into our lives. There is no ground and hence falling is not scary but fun! • Do we have to accept everything? We don’t have to accept everything if we can change something we should absolutely do so but that change also needs to come from an attitude of acceptance to where we are. Letting go is the only healthy mental state since in the end control is impossible and only causes anguish. As is said: ‘To let go is to lose your foothold temporarily: Not to let go is to lose your foothold forever’ Soren Kierkegaard

Lesson 18

Cultivating Acceptance - Meditation

Change/Impermanence meditation: The nature of reality be it ourselves, our body and mind, or the world around us is that everything is changing from moment to moment. Even the most seemingly solid things such as a mountain are in reality constantly in a state of movement. Despite this truth, most of us continually hold onto a sense that things don’t change. That we don’t get older, get sick or die. That our car won't break down (esp. a new one!) or our family will remain the same, our job and house will stay the same etc. We do this as we have a natural desire for security and control of our lives, thus we tend to cling on to the permanence of the things around us. The irony of this belief is that instead of making us more secure we actually create more insecurity within ourselves. This is because we are going against the fabric of reality and fantasizing about a false view of that reality. In fact, there is very little we can control in our lives and whether or when our car breaks down, our family get sick, we lose our job etc., is mostly beyond our control. We are faced daily by the contradictions to the reality we are imagining when these events crop up in our lives. Our core beliefs are challenged on a daily basis, it is no wonder then that we suffer when faced with these truths. Rather than going with the flowing nature of change we resist and fight against it. Just as flowing water when dammed shows disturbance and agitation so our minds become disturbed, agitated, and anxious. In contradiction to this if we can let go of this false conception about the nature of reality, understand the change, and go with the flow rather than against it our lives become much more balanced, happier, and healthier. Initially, we need to contemplate this reality and get a deep understanding of it, and then most importantly we need to integrate that understanding into our being. We need to be the change and go with the flow of life. This is what this meditation does and very quickly with regular practice of this meditation we will see the change in our mental attitude. The practice: Sitting comfortably but upright, start with 2 or 3 deeper breaths, calming both the mind and body. Then bring the attention to the breathing and stay with the breath for a few minutes. Then begin to contemplate the changing nature of the body. Notice the constant movement of the breath, the blood circulating, the heart and other organs working. See how the nails and hair grow the skin dies and changes. Even the parts that appear to be solid the bones and teeth are at a molecular level changing every moment. Get a sense of how nothing within the body stays the same for even one moment and keep your attention with that for a few minutes. Then move to the external world, the chair or cushion you are on, the room and building you are in. The streets, cars, people, trees, forest, lakes, deserts, towns and cities are all changing moment to moment. Even the hills and mountains are constantly moment to moment changing. Nothing within the world or universe stays the same even for one moment. Get this sense or feeling in your mind and stay with it for a few minutes. Then move to the mind itself and see how that too is changing all the time. Thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, intentions etc., are constantly coming and going within the mind. The mind itself does not stay the same for even one moment. Again, rest with this understanding for a few moments. Finally, mentally dissolve all these phenomena, the body, world, and mind into a mass of changing moments and stay with this for a few minutes. Conclude that since everything changes all the time there is no need to be upset with difficult things as they will always change and no need to be overly excited by positive things since they will also change. Just be the change and go with the flow. Dedicate your practice to the well-being of all living beings. Challenge for session 17/18: a. Do the change meditation following the audio and keep with this practice for at least a few days preferably a week or 2. b. Practice not complaining. Start small with 10 minutes and gradually extend up to 30, an hour a day or longer. Make sure to include complaining to yourself! c. Relive the times in your life when you have accepted and recognize that you can do this. d. Do the meditation on breathing at least once preferably in the morning before screens, conversations, etc. Finish it by talking to the body. e. Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection.

Lesson 19

Death Contemplation

Quote for the day: “Of all footprints, that of the elephant is supreme. Similarly, of all mindfulness meditations, that on death is supreme.” _Gautama Buddha Points to understand: • Death Recollection: One of, if not the most important realities we need to accept is that of our own death. We all tend to feel on some level that we are immortal, that death happens to others but not ourselves • Importance of death meditation: Death is said to be one of the most important topics to contemplate on a daily basis. The tendency to ignore death push it away and feel it a morbid subject to contemplate are counter to a healthy constructive attitude to this inevitable part of our lives. We come alive; we come into our lives through the contemplation of death. Since there is literally nothing more certain about our lives than this, to not consider death is a big mistake and as we all have the subconscious fear of death, facing that is the only sensible way to deal with this. As with all difficult issues avoidance is never the answer an honest open minded facing up to reality is always a healthier option. • Actual experience from patients: From Stanford.eu: Their “will to live” means that they really want to live, whether or not they’re afraid to die. They want to enjoy life, they want to get more out of life, they believe that their life is not over, and they’re willing to do whatever they can to squeeze more out of it. The threat of death often renews our appreciation of the importance of life, love, friendship, and all there is to enjoy. We open up to new possibilities and begin taking risks we didn’t have the courage to take before. Many patients say that facing the uncertainties of living with an illness makes life more meaningful. The smallest pleasures are intensified and much of the hypocrisy in life is eliminated. When bitterness and anger begin to dissipate, there is still a capacity for joy. One patient wrote, “I love living, I love nature. Being outdoors, feeling the sun on my skin or the wind blowing against my body, hearing birds sing, breathing in the spray of the ocean. I never lose hope that I may somehow stumble upon or be graced with a victory against this disease.” These are some of the benefits of death contemplation.

Lesson 20

Contemplating Death - Meditation

Death Meditation Practice: this is done through a set of nine points and split into three subgroups of three. At the end of each set we reach a conclusion and we should try to rest with that conclusion for a few minutes. Each subgroup has a heading, and under it three points, and then a conclusion at the end. 1. Death is definite. Everybody dies and nothing can prevent our death. Here we think about those we know and care about, and recognize that they will all die. Think of famous people who have died etc. We ourselves will also die. Really let that sink in. Our lifespan can't be extended when it's time to die. Our lifespan is getting shorter moment by moment. Our bodies begin decaying and dying from the time we're born; nothing can prevent their demise. Also, the time goes past faster the older we get. Death is going to happen even if we haven't had time to make life meaningful. Think of our own life how much time is wasted, sleeping, eating, working, playing games etc. Are we ready to die? What will we have to take with us when we die? The conclusion from these three points is that I must make life meaningful while still here! 2. The time of death is indefinite. In general, there's no certainty of lifespan in our world. People die in the middle of doing all sorts of different things, and nobody believes today is the day they will die. We're always in the middle of doing something when we die. We tell ourselves, I'll just finish this, take care of these worldly things, then I'll do what matters. But worldly concerns are never finished. Think if examples of people who have died young and at all ages. There are more chances of dying and less of remaining alive. We actually have to exert a lot of effort to stay alive—get, cook, and eat food; get clothes to protect our body; get and take medicine to keep the body healthy; get proper housing for protection from the elements. If we didn't do all these things, the body would die. Even the things we use to live, cars, airplanes food etc. can cause our death. The body is very fragile. Think of how a virus, an infection, a blood clot, or a piece of metal can end life so quickly. How quickly the body deteriorates when sick. The conclusion from these three points is that I must make life meaningful now, not wait until tomorrow or next week. 3. At the time of death, only our positive or negative mind states can help. Our money and possessions are of no help at the time we die. Whether you're rich or poor, when you die, you die. We spend so much time and energy accumulating money and things, and often create many negative actions doing so, but we can't take it with us when we die. Our friends and relatives aren't any help to us at the time we die. They can all gather around us, but they can't prevent us from dying. They can't even make our mind into a positive state when we die; we have to do that for ourselves (though they might be able to help). When we die, we go alone. So, what's the point of being so attached, wanting to be liked, and popular, and loved? None of that can prevent us from dying. This does not imply however that responsibility love and concern for our loved ones is very important. At the time of death, even our body is of absolutely no help. In fact, it is the thing that betrays us when we die, it literally kills us! So why do we worry so much about how we look? Why do we worry so much about having prestige and power? It does nothing for us when we die. The conclusion from these three points is that we need do today what will matter at the time of death. We need to work to transform our mind, to really make our mind happy. That's true happiness. We need to practice the methods to do that in a very pure way without looking for any kind of ego boost along the way. We try to overcome our self-centeredness and develop impartial love and compassion, try to see through the ignorance that covers our mind and see the reality of the self and phenomena. Dedicate your practice to all beings. Challenges for sessions 19/20: • Do the meditation on breathing at least once preferably in the morning before screens, conversations etc. Finish it by talking to the body. • Do the death meditation following the audio and keep with this practice for at least a few days preferably a week. If you are still working on the change meditation and don’t have time for both then finish at least a few days of change and then move on to death. • Become familiar with the 9 points of the death meditation so ideally you can flick through them after your morning calm-abiding meditation. • Maintain the mindful moments, a mindful action during the day and learn to cultivate introspection.

Lesson 21

Meditation On The Mind

Quote for the day: ‘Awareness takes over from thinking. Instead of being in charge of your life, thinking becomes the servant of awareness.’ Eckhart Tolle Points to understand: • Calm abiding on a new object: We will return to calm abiding in this session. This is for 2 main reasons: to continue to develop our focus and concentration and to allow time for the analytical meditations of the last few sessions to become familiar. • Focusing on the mind: We will however use a new and extremely profound object to focus on: the mind itself. This is beneficial as it is clearly the main object we are learning about, but more than this once we are familiar with this object it is very easy for it to transfer into the rest of the day, as the mind is always with us. • Levels of the mind: Our mind can be seen from the viewpoint of having levels; a superficial surface level that is mostly unhealthy due to obsessive chasing after and becoming involved in thoughts comparable to the agitated waves on an ocean. Below this, like the depths of the ocean, there is a much healthier subtle level to our mind, simple clear awareness. • The surface: The superficial level is unhealthy and uncomfortable due to excessive fabrication at this level of our minds. Who we are, what we do, say etc. can all be seen to be fabricated at this level of our mind. • One of the basic principles of practice: Meditation from one point of view can be seen as connecting to this deeper more joyful level of our mind and this is what we are taking as our object of attention. • Finding this part of our awareness: This is the part of the mind that we are aiming to focus on in today’s mind meditation. Once we have identified this part of the mind then it is simply a matter of focusing on it however the difficult part is to identify our minds. To do so we can use examples; a clear dawn sky, a clear lake or the sense at the level of our eyes when in meditation. We are not looking for the thoughts, feelings etc. but the simple awareness which underlies them. With this meditation we are advised to keep our eyes open. • Dealing with distraction: When distracted within this meditation there is beautiful and effective way to deal with these distractions: As we saw in the previous session, see that your thoughts are not some external reality but actually just part of your mind. In such a way they bring us back to our object of attention; the mind itself. In other words, use the thoughts to bring you back to your object of focus.

Lesson 22

Meditation On The Mind - Practice

Meditation on the mind: This practice falls into the category of calm abiding meditation. Developing calm and awareness within the mind is possible with any virtuous or neutral object. The only stipulation is that this is an internal object, not a sensory object. The reason for this is simply that on the level of our senses, we do not experience suffering nor can we develop long-term well-being or happiness. We do not have problems with what we see, hear, touch, taste, or smell we have problems with how we relate to these in our minds (our mental consciousness is distinct from our sensory consciousness). Likewise, it is not possible to experience long-term well-being at the level of our senses simply because nothing on that level lasts, the most beautiful sunset, food, smell, music, or touch will come and go and therefore can never bring about long-term happiness. Meditation therefore must take place within our mental consciousness, not our senses, in this regard be careful of so-called ‘meditation music’ and suchlike as these, while being pleasant and relaxing are not meditation. With that proviso however, we can take any virtuous or neutral object to focus on in calm abiding meditation. Clearly, a non-virtuous object could be taken also but would lead to more suffering in the mind, not more happiness! Using the mind as an object has many benefits since; we are using the very thing that we are aiming to calm in meditation practice i.e. the mind itself. The Practice To do this practice we must first identify the mind or awareness and then take it as our object of concentration. This is the most difficult part of identifying the mind. To do this the easiest method is through examples. The mind is exemplified by a clear dawn sky, a clear lake, or the clear sense at the level of our eyes when partly closed in meditation. In other words, not the thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc., but the awareness that underlies these. Traditional texts describe this level of mind as ‘not obscured by anything, it is lucid and clear, with nothing physical established anywhere within it. It is pure vacuity like space, where everything appears vividly’. We try to get a sense of this awareness the clear nature of it and then take that as our object of focus. So we begin setting our position then taking a few longer breaths in and out calming both the mind and the body. We can have our eyes open if this feels comfortable for this practise. We then turn our attention to the breathing and stay focused on the breath for at least a few minutes or an even greater part of the meditation until we feel settled. Then we turn the attention to the mind or awareness using the examples we gave to try to get a sense/image of the mind. Once we have to the best of our ability identified the mind, we then allowing everything else to pass by stay focused on this sense of awareness. When we lose our attention and get lost in thoughts etc., we become aware we have wandered, step back from the thought or whatever and gently come back to the mind. We finish with a dedication that our practice may be beneficial to all living beings. Challenges for session 21/22: • Do the meditation as per the audio. • Try to let that sense of thought-free awareness be with you during the day. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Do either the death, change, or gratitude meditation at least once per day. Choose the one that you feel you need and get familiar with the practice so that you are able to run through it at any point.

Lesson 23

Deepening Our Meditation On The Mind

Quote for the day: “You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we're not. We always have the power of our minds… claim and consciously use your power.” – Louise L. Hay Points to understand: • Our mind: We will continue today meditating on the mind but let’s first look more deeply at the mind and the way it functions. • Sense & Mental consciousness: In the last session we looked at levels of the mind, another way to describe the mind and how it engages with the world; this is by dividing the mind into sense consciousness or mental consciousness. This counters the traditional scientific view that we are only our senses and therefore as predictable as a computer and in particular the wrong view that there is an objective world beyond and independent of our awareness of it. • Where does our happiness arise? From these two, our mental consciousness is far more important both for dealing with our problems and establishing long-term happiness. We have issues not with what we see hear or touch but how we relate to those things and nothing at the level of our senses can bring long-term happiness as they simply don’t last. • Engagement with objects: Our senses have more direct contact with external phenomena whereas our mental consciousness tends to see the world through the medium of images. • How to work with this reality: These images mean that we are to a great extent the creator of our own suffering but it also means we can create greater true long-term happiness in the future.

Lesson 24

Deepening Our Mind Meditation - Meditation

Holding & releasing methods to meditate: we will do again the meditation on the mind with a slight but very important difference. There are 2 distinct approaches to meditation: the first is as we have been practicing up to now, a gentle but conscious hold on our object of attention whether the breath of our mind or a positive emotion. The second, distinct to mind meditation, is known as the releasing method and involves letting go of all effort and simply resting in the natural state of our minds. The point here is that as long as we are making an effort there is at least some subtle level of tension. In this second method, we are releasing even that, so that everything, our mind and noticeably our body completely relaxes. The idea is that any engagement whatsoever with objects, whether external or our own body and mind leads to a level of agitation. By simply not engaging with any object we are able to rest our attention without disturbance on our object, the mind. So, we begin setting our position and then taking a few longer breaths in and out calming both the mind and the body. We can have our eyes open if this feels comfortable for this practice. We then turn our attention to the breathing and stay focused on the breath for at least a few minutes or an even greater part of the meditation until we feel settled. Then we turn the attention to the mind or awareness using the examples we gave to try to get a sense/image of the mind. Once we have to the best of our ability identified the mind, we then allow everything else to pass by and stay focused on this sense of awareness. When we lose our attention and get lost in thoughts etc., we become aware we have wandered, step back from the thought or whatever and gently come back to the mind. After approximately half the meditation time we subtly change our attention from effortful attention to effortless attention. We stay with our object of attention, the mind but rather than trying to hold ourselves there and bringing ourselves back when we wander, we simply don’t pay attention to any other stimuli while letting them be there. Like a sky within which birds, planes, clouds even bombs pass through without affecting the sky at all we allow everything to be there and pass through our awareness without grasping, identifying or relating to it in any way. Only if we do lose our attention completely into an object do we make a small effort to return to the mind. Otherwise, we drop all effort and rest the attention with the clear awareness of our mind. You will be able to know if you are getting this right as for most people there is a clear and noticeable relaxation of the whole body. We finish with a dedication that our practice may be beneficial to all living beings. Challenges for sessions 23/24: • Do the meditation as per the audio. • Try to stay with this deeper healthier part of the mind during the day also. • Contemplate how we engage with the world through images of it when we think have emotions etc. and how this can create an egocentric and potentially harmful environment as well as providing the possibility for change. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Do either the death, change, or gratitude meditation at least once per day. Choose the one that you feel you need and get familiar with the practice so that you are able to run through it at any point.

Lesson 25

Working With Our Negative Emotions 1

Quote for the day: “Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.” Victor Frankl Points to understand: • Effects of negative emotions: Negative emotions have been clearly shown to be the origin and major cause for the onset of the majority of chronic diseases and for similar reasons they are a serious obstacle to our ability to recover from serious issues. • What are negative emotions? Although emotions in general are simply an energetic state of the mind and therefore all similar, there is a clear and experientially knowable distinction between negative and positive emotions. • How to distinguish: There are two main reasons for this division; i. Negative emotions are always agitated and uncomfortable in the mind and usually the body also. Positive are the opposite and tend to be calm and settled even when highly energetic. ii. Negative emotions are always distorted in their view of reality whereas positive ones are much more realistic. Studies show that this distortion can be up to 90% compared to reality. ‘We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are’! Begin to learn and recognize these emotions and their distinction within your own life, especially notice the discomfort the mind feels when filled with negative emotion. • How to deal with these emotions: The first step in dealing with negative emotions is to become aware of their destructive nature not just through words but feelings. As the above quote so clearly shows observation of our emotions is the key to working with them. We need to avoid the 2 extremes of suppression and expression and follow the middle path of calm observation both in our meditation practice and in our life. Suppression causes them to explode more strongly later and expression hardens the emotion into our minds. This observation should be in a non-judgemental open-minded way.

Lesson 26

Working With Negative Emotions 1 - Meditation

Meditation practice: Practice 1: For the first few minutes cultivate attention using whatever object works best for you the breath, the mind, etc. Then deliberately recall a negative emotion. Recall a situation/person that triggered strong negative emotions in you. Anger or strong attachment, pride or jealousy, anxiety, fear, etc. Notice the change in the mind and how it feels when a negative emotion arises. Feel that emotion stay with it note its qualities and without reacting in any way whatsoever simply stay with it. Be an observer, watching it without being involved with it. Begin with the mind and observe how it is feeling, is it calm or agitated (it will be the latter as this defines negative emotions), is it heavy or light, cold or hot, can you discern a shape or color, etc? Describe in as much detail as you can what you observe in the mind. Then do the same for the body; where in the body are the emotions manifesting, the stomach, chest, neck, head, etc. Sometimes really strong emotions can be felt throughout the body. Describe as with the mind in as much detail as possible. In the end, try to let the emotion go and come back to the state of mind without this emotion in it. Stay with this calm state of mind for a few minutes being aware of the difference when the emotion is not there. Dedicate your practice to the welfare of all beings Challenges for sessions 25/26: • Do the meditation as per the audio at least once • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Begin to notice when harmful emotions arise and ‘feel’ the uncomfortable nature of these emotions. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • If you have time please continue with either the death, change, or gratitude meditation at least once per day. Choose the one that you feel you need and get familiar with the practice so that you are able to run through it at any point.

Lesson 27

Working With Negative Emotions 2

Quote for the day: “Emotional pain cannot kill you, but running from it can. Allow. Embrace. Let yourself feel. Let yourself heal.” – Vironika Tugaleva Points to understand: • Which places can we begin to work with these emotions? Emotions arise and can be worked on in three different areas: 1. Basis; who we are as a person, our upbringing, education, work environment, what we read, listen to, who we mix with, whether we are sick or not, slept well etc. These all determine our basic nature which makes us more or less liable to becoming negatively emotional. Changing this basic nature is a long-term challenge which we can take on during our daily life. We should bear in mind that the mind is the main creator of who we are not anything external even our bodies. Examples of how we do this include; when in a traffic jam we can cultivate patience which will become an antidote to becoming angry, when we feel jealous, we can rejoice and be happy for what others have and so forth. If we have grasping attachment then considering the negative aspects of what we are clinging to, when proud thinking about people who know more than we do, with grief love the person you have lost even more. Every negative emotion has an antidote which counteracts it just like pouring cold water into hot. Bringing this practise into our daily lives makes each day a challenge and everyday actions meaningful. 2. The trigger point; what is it that presses our buttons sets us off on a negative emotion. Here we want to be able to stop the trigger in its tracks and not let the emotion take us over. The best technique for this is observation of the emotion, learning to not identify with it but see it as an object of our attention. In other words, we are not going to stop having negative emotions overnight but we can learn to let them go within moments of them arising. 3. The response; At the response level when we are overtaken by the emotion and it is too late to apply any of the techniques we have already talked about, then distraction is the key. This is not a long-term solution but prevents things from getting worse when we have become lost in an emotion. This distraction can be simple actions, exercise, prayer, work, TV, etc. whatever takes your attention away from the negative emotion. Mantras or prayers can be very effective in doing this and even if they do not actually bring a positive mindset, they at least prevent things from getting worse whereby you harm others or oneself due to the emotion.

Lesson 28

Dealing With Negative Emotions 2 - Meditation

Meditation: 15 minutes daily. For the first few minutes cultivate attention using whatever object works best for you the breath, the mind, etc. Then deliberately recall a negative emotion. Recall a situation/person that created strong negative emotions in you. Anger or strong attachment, pride, jealousy, anxiety, fear, stress, etc. Notice the change in the mind and how it feels when a negative emotion arises. Feel that emotion stay with it note it qualities and without reacting in any way whatsoever simply stay with it. Be an observer, watching it without being involved with it. Begin with the mind and observe how it is feeling, is it calm or agitated (it will be the latter as this defines negative emotions), is it heavy or light, cold or hot, can you discern a shape or colour it etc. Describe in as much detail as you can what you observe in the mind. Then do the same for the body; where in the body is the emotions manifesting, the stomach, chest, neck, head etc. sometimes really strong emotions can be felt throughout the body. Describe as with the mind in as much detail as possible. Now we go a step further and let the emotion transform into a being, this will almost certainly be a negative being such as a demon-type figure. The mind will naturally create this and once it has describe the being to yourself in as much detail as you can. Then putting the demon in front of you ask it; what do you want, what do you need, how would you feel if you got what you wanted? It may answer or not but whichever starts to visualize feeding the demon with light from yourself feeling that it is becoming completely satisfied and receives everything it needs. Gradually as this happens the demon will become smaller and eventually fade away completely as it has not reason to be there anymore. Once that happens return to your own mind, and observe be with the ensuing sense of calm for a few minutes. Dedicate the positive energy created to the benefit of all beings. Challenges sessions 27/28: • Do the meditation as per the audio at least once. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Contemplate which of your negative emotions is harming you most and learn the long-term technique to deal with it. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • If you have time, please continue with either the death, change, or gratitude meditation at least once per day. Choose the one that you feel you need and get familiar with the practice so that you are able to run through it at any point.

Lesson 29

Working With Negative Emotions 3

Quote for the day: I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I have to fight… I have to deal with my anger with care, with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence. Thich Nhat Hanh Points to understand: • Mind body relationship: Remember our mind set determines our reality is no truer than with the dynamic between body & mind. Your body will simply believe what the mind tells it, as clearly shown by the placebo effect. • Working with our negative emotions involves a number of steps: • Awareness: Awareness of the emotion is key, recognising the emotion as negative and harmful is the first step to letting it go. Also, awareness that the emotion is unrealistic and not a true representation of reality it is one’s own projection. Just these recognitions are a huge help in letting emotions go. • Observation: Simple observance is the next key. Extend this further by observing not just the emotion but the minds’ reaction to having the emotion. We may feel we shouldn’t be reacting this way but that very feeling only increases the agitation and discomfort in the mind. Be kind to both these realities the emotion and the reaction to it both need our kindness when being observed in order to be let go. • Disidentify with the emotion: Don’t blame oneself for the emotions but instead see it as a result of causes. We have natural inbuilt tendencies to react certain ways in certain situations. For example, the fight or flight reaction which is a natural defence mechanism. So, when this arises in situations where actually it is not needed there is no need to beat oneself up but rather see it for what it is as an inbuilt habit. Again, what we are doing here is not seeing it as personal and thus we create a separation between us and the emotion making it very easy to let go of. • You are not alone: long-term working with these emotions requires changing the nature of who we are and a beautiful way to achieve this is to understand that when harmful emotions arise that you are not the only person having this negative state. Many other people also are experiencing the same discomfort and opening the mind to this softens your heart to the suffering the emotion causes others and likewise yourself. Again, this de-personalises the emotion and allows the kind acceptance which becomes the ground to be able to let it go. • An ‘in the moment’ fix: one of the quickest ways to soften any emotion when it arises in the moment is to place our attention on the experience of the emotion rather than staying lost in the scenarios we are experiencing. When we stay with the situation, person and so forth we go round in the conditions which brought the emotion about and this tends to reinforce and usually exaggerate the effects of the emotion. We begin to consider how last week he did that to me, she is also like this, this isnt fair for this and that reason etc. Instead of doing this turn inwards and pay attention to how you are subjectively feeling. This not only stops the tendency to build on the emotion but immediately reduces the suffering that the emotion creates.

Lesson 30

Working With Negative Emotions 3 - Meditation

For the first few minutes cultivate attention using whatever object works best for you the breath, the mind, etc. Then deliberately recall a negative emotion. Recall a situation/person that caused strong negative emotions in you. Anger or strong attachment, pride or jealousy, anxiety, fear, etc. Notice the change in the mind and how it feels when a negative emotion arises. Feel that emotion stay with it note it qualities and without reacting in any way whatsoever simply stay with it. Be an observer, watching it without being involved with it. Begin with the mind and observe how it is feeling, is it calm or agitated (it will be the latter as this defines negative emotions), is it heavy or light, cold or hot, can you discern a shape or colour it etc. Describe in as much detail as you can what you observe in the mind. Then do the same for the body; where in the body is the emotions manifesting, the stomach, chest, neck, head etc. sometimes really strong emotions can be felt throughout the body. Describe as with the mind in as much detail as possible. Now we go a step further and let the emotion transform into a being, this will almost certainly be a negative being such as a demon-type figure. The mind will naturally create this and once it has, describe the ‘being’ to yourself in as much detail as you can. Then, putting the demon in front of you, ask it; what do you want, what do you need, how would you feel if you got what you wanted? Now put yourself into the being, become the demon yourself. Feel what it is like to be the demon, try to feel what it needs, and see if you can answer those questions you asked. There may be an answer or not but whichever then return to your own body settle into it and start to visualize feeding the demon with light from yourself feeling that it is becoming completely satisfied and receives everything it needs. Gradually as this happens the demon will become smaller and eventually fade away completely as it has not reason to be there anymore. Once that happens return to your own mind, and observe with the ensuing sense of calm for a few minutes. Dedicate the positive energy created to the benefit of all beings. Challenges for sessions 29/30: • Do the meditation as per the audio at least once. Begin to use the above contemplations in everyday life whenever harmful emotions arise. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Contemplate which of your negative emotions is harming you most and learn the long-term technique to deal with it • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • If you have time, please continue with either the death, change, or gratitude meditation at least once per day. Choose the one that you feel you need and get familiar with the practice so that you are able to run through it at any point.

Lesson 31

Generating Positive Emotions 1

Quote for the day: If you can manage to experience three positive emotions for every one negative emotion you dramatically improve your health and your ability to successfully tackle any problem you're facing. - Jane McGonigal Points to understand: • The beauty of positive emotions: Powerful healing now begins with the development of these positive emotions. We begin to ‘feel’ the strength of these emotions literally melting away our sickness. Within these positive emotions we include, love, compassion, wisdom, patience, generosity etc. but our main focus to begin with are the amazing emotions of love & compassion. • Widely understood throughout many disciplines: Every spiritual tradition knows the importance and power of these emotions, love and compassion are at the heart of every valid spiritual path/religion in the world and for good reason; these ancient philosophies have always known what truly makes us happy as a person. These attitudes are essential to our lives both in theory and more importantly in every day practise. One of the clearest examples of this dynamic is within the relationship between fear and love. As the bible says ‘There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear, because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.’. We can either be in fear or love, never both. • What are ‘love’ and ‘compassion’? How do we understand or define these two emotions? Love is defined as ‘the wish for others to be happy’ and compassion is defined as ‘the wish for others not to suffer’ • Can we develop them? We should understand that these emotions are not fixed, we are not born with the same amount of them as we die with. They grow or reduce according to what we do in our life, who we mix with, what we read, whether we meditate etc. Our mind has an almost limitless capacity to increase in its love and compassion and it is a plain truth that the more we cultivate these emotions the happier, healthier, more balanced and confident we become as a person. They have the beautiful effect of reducing our negative pride and ego and at the same time increasing our self-confidence. • How to begin increasing these emotions: What then are the foundations of these emotions? The basis of bringing them into our mind are two; 1. A clear and unreserved acceptance of suffering, within oneself first and then on the basis of others and 2. A balanced mind does not discriminate against others. Our compassion to be true needs to be equal to all beings; Beings tend to appear to us, however, as friends, enemies, or strangers. This ability to see others without bias or judgment not only balances our view of others but also balances our own internal emotions which in reality are the source of this biased judgment.

Lesson 32

Generating Positive Emotions 1 - Meditation

Meditation on Equanimity Traditionally this practice is taught as a precursor to compassion meditation as it is a necessary prerequisite to being able to develop the unconditional wish for all beings to be free from suffering. Clearly if one's mind is biased towards friends or family and against enemies or people that we find difficult then our compassion will likewise be uneven. This is not glossing over the truth or distorting reality in some way but actually aligning our attitude much more to reality. Our conceptions of people as friend, enemy or stranger are not intrinsic to the people themselves but merely a label placed upon people largely due to our misconceptions. Often due to small insignificant events we label someone as a friend or enemy. We build up these misconceptions based on temporary, often small occurrences into a solid fixed notion of someone. The reality is that no one is by nature a friend (ask their enemy!) an enemy (ask their mother!) and everyone starts out being a stranger to us. Not only this but from the side of the people we are labeling in this way they all equally desire to be happy and none wish to suffer. So, this conception of others as intrinsically one of these three types is very unrealistic. The other benefit of this practice however, is that it balances our own internal emotions. Our extreme emotions of hate, anger or attachment are very much unrealistic in their outlook on the world. By balancing this distorted outlook through equalizing our feelings to others we also naturally begin to balance these extreme emotions within our mind. Before beginning the practise, we should think of a friend (ideally a friend rather than a family member which can be too emotionally charged) an enemy (many people feel they don’t have an ‘enemy’ as such but we can all find people that we find difficult or annoying which is fine) and a stranger (someone we have seen passed in the street or something but have not had any interaction with) The practise: Begin by getting comfortable but upright. Then place your attention on the breath for a few minutes. Then visualize the friend in front. Begin by noticing the feelings seeing this person brings into the mind. Feelings of closeness warmth etc. Then consider how this label ‘friend’ has arisen due to often insignificant circumstances which are temporary. That this person is not intrinsically a friend it is just a label placed by one's own mind not in the nature of the person. See how easily if they hurt you or hurt someone you love this label could change from friend to enemy. Or maybe we have fallen out with them in the past and they were for some time an ‘enemy’. Then visualize the enemy or person we find difficult in front of us and begin to notice which feelings arise in the mind when seeing this person. Aversion, wanting to move away etc. See then how these feelings and this label are based on temporary, likely insignificant events which on a bigger scale are not so important. Recognize how easily these feelings and label could change by them helping or being nice to us or to someone we love. They could change to be a friend even our best friend. Then visualize the stranger in front and notice the feelings this person, or possibly the lack of feelings this person creates in the mind. Then see how this is not intrinsic to the person just a label that could change very easily. If they helped or were good to us, they would become a friend or even our best friend; if hurtful to us they could become an enemy. Then visualize all three of these people in front of us and recognize that from our point of view they are not different they can equally be friends or enemies or strangers. From their side, they all equally wish to be happy and wish not to suffer. Let this equal feeling to all three come into the mind and then sit with that for a few minutes. Finally, extend this feeling to all living beings. Finish with dedication to be beneficial to all living beings. Challenges for sessions 31/32: • Do the meditation as per the audio at least once. Make it a daily practice for at least a week or so, effect will be felt even in this short period. Anytime except first thing in the morning is the time to do this practice. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Spend time thinking about the influence of love and compassion in the world how it brings light, and happiness, and has always been the bedrock of any great person. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Keep up the other practices during the day especially as needed, e.g. change, death, etc.

Lesson 33

Generating Positive Emotions 2

Quote for the day: ‘Love, love only, love of our deluded fellow man as he actually is, in his delusion and in his sin: this alone can open the door to truth. As long as we do not have this love, as long as this love is not active and effective in our lives (for words and good wishes will never suffice) we have no real access to the truth. At least not to moral truth.’ Thomas Merton Points to understand: • We can be more loving: That love or ‘the wish for others to be happy’ can be enhanced within all of us. • Two techniques: There are two systematic ways to do this, a step-by-step approach and a more direct approach. We will learn the step-by-step technique first. • The step-by-step approach is as follows: 1. Generating a feeling of closeness towards others; this may come through seeing others as being like our own family, our mothers, brothers & sisters, children of the same god, part of one human family etc. We should use whatever works for ourselves to break down the sense of separation felt between ourselves and others. To feel as one, connected to all beings as if they were part of one’s own body, this is the aim. 2. Recognising the kindness of others; Brining to mind and contemplating the direct and less obvious ways in which we rely on the kindness of all other living beings. Of course, our parents, family, friends are clearly kind. We can also see how our food, homes, medicine, and transport indeed everything we use in our life comes due to the kindness of others. Others are kind however in many less obvious ways too, difficult people are kind in teaching us patience, beggars and other needy people provide an opportunity to become more generous, all beings provide an opportunity for us to be more kind and compassionate. None of these healthy qualities are possible without the very existence of other living beings. 3. Feeling a wish to return this kindness; is a natural response to seeing how others are kind and a wish to give back to them what they have and are still doing for us. When we consider the ways we can return kindness then it includes material and financial benefit, food and medicine, health and well-being but most important of all to bring these kind living beings true inner happiness. 4. Love; the above wish to give others true happiness becomes the amazing emotion of love.

Lesson 34

Generating Positive Emotions 2 - Meditation

Begin by sitting comfortably but upright then take 2 or 3 deeper breaths calming the mind and body. Then bring the attention to the breathing for a few minutes. Now visualize yourself in the middle surrounded by all living beings in all directions as far as you can see, in front, behind, to the left and right, above and below. Begin with equalizing your feelings towards all these beings understanding that any of these beings could be friends or enemies or strangers in respect to oneself and all wish to be happy and not suffer. Then try to generate a feeling of closeness towards all beings seeing them as one's family, mother, children of God or whatever way brings this sense of closeness into the mind. Next reflect on the kindness of others how we depend on others for everything we have, our clothes, food, education, birth, health etc. Thereby bringing a sense of gratitude into the mind towards all living beings. From this naturally arises a feeling to repay this kindness and seeing internal happiness is the best way to do this the emotion of love wanting all others to be happy follows from this. Rest with this feeling for some time. Then visualize that this feeling of love takes the form of a white ball of light above one’s head which then dissolves through the crown filling your body with bright white light removing all suffering and leaving you completely happy. Then imagine that this white light goes out from one's heart or the middle of the chest like a torch or laser beam touching all living beings around, filling them with these white lights taking away all their suffering, and leaving them all blissfully happy. Stay with this for a few minutes, and you can say to yourself if it helps; 'may all beings be happy, may they be free from suffering, and may everything be well with all living beings' Dedicate one's practice that all living beings may actually become free from all suffering and experience only happiness. Challenges for sessions 33/34: • Do the meditation as per the audio, start to familiarize yourself with the practice and make it a daily habit, ideally in the evenings or late afternoon. • Every hour stop and feel love for others for 15 seconds. • Start to let the feelings generated by the meditation extend into the rest of the day. Instead of viewing others as a separate, disconnected, and hostile practice seeing all others as close like one’s own family or close friend. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Keep up the other practices during the day especially as needed, e.g. change, gratitude, death, etc. Meditation on Love

Lesson 35

Generating Positive Emotions 3 - Compassion

Quote for the day: “Live with compassion. Work with compassion. Die with compassion. Meditate with compassion. Enjoy with compassion. When problems come, experience them with compassion.” Lama Zopa Rinpoche Points to understand: • What is compassion? Compassion defined as ‘the wish for others to be free of suffering’ can be enhanced within all of us. • Continuing the 1st technique: As mentioned before amongst the 2 techniques to do this we are looking at the first one. • One final step: The step-by-step approach continues with the points we began last time up to the point of generating love, and then added to these are: 1. On the basis of the feeling of love we go further and recognise that living beings though we wish them to be happy in reality experience numerous sufferings every day. This comes from a frank recognition of the suffering that others experience, as we looked at earlier not just the superficial obvious sufferings but the suffering of change; the reality that being swung between emotions created from external ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ factors is incapable of bringing true lasting happiness. Also, the deepest level of suffering that as long as we have not worked with our mind and dealt with ignorance and negative emotions, we are always creating the causes for suffering again and again. A wrong conception of ourselves and the negative emotions that arise from this. Use examples from your life and experience of suffering in others to help create this feeling 2. Following the steps, we took in the last session up to love; we then use our recognition of suffering to create the feeling of compassion. Let this emotion of compassion become a strong feeling within oneself and rest with that letting it move the mind. Then consider how one’s own ability to do anything about this suffering depends on developing one’s own mind and becoming wiser more loving and compassionate.

Lesson 36

Generating Positive Emotions 3 Compassion - Meditation

Meditation on Compassion. We begin with the love meditation by following those steps again: Begin by sitting comfortably but upright then take 2 or 3 deeper breaths calming the mind and body. Then bring the attention to the breathing for a few minutes. Now visualize yourself in the middle surrounded by all living beings in all directions as far as you can see, in front, behind, to the left and right, above and below. Begin with equalizing your feelings towards all these beings understanding that any of these beings could be friends or enemies or strangers in respect to oneself and all wish to be happy and not suffer. Then try to generate a feeling of closeness towards all beings seeing them as one’s family, mother, children of God, or whatever way brings this sense of closeness into the mind. Next reflect on the kindness of others and how we depend on others for everything we have, our clothes, food, education, birth, health, etc. Thereby bringing a sense of gratitude into the mind towards all living beings. From this naturally arises a feeling to repay this kindness and seeing internal happiness is the best way to do this the emotion of love and wanting all others to be happy follows from this. Rest with this feeling for some time. Finally, on seeing that living beings do not have this happiness and in reality, suffer hugely every day, physically, mentally, and emotionally, let the feeling of compassion arise. Enhance this feeling by using examples that move the mind, someone we know, animals, or news whichever cracks the heart and moves oneself towards compassion. Rest with this feeling for some time. Then visualize that this feeling of compassion takes the form of a white ball of light above one’s head which then dissolves through the crown filling your body with bright white light removing all suffering and leaving you completely happy. Then imagine that this white light goes out from one’s heart or the middle of the chest like a torch or laser beam touching all living beings around, filling them with this white light taking away all their suffering and leaving them all blissfully happy. Stay with this for a few minutes, you can say to yourself if it helps; 'may all beings be happy, may they be free from suffering, may everything be well with all living beings' Dedicate one’s practice that all living beings may actually become free from all suffering and experience only happiness. Challenges for sessions 35/36: • Do the meditation as per the audio start to familiarize yourself with the practice and make it a daily habit, ideally in the evenings or late afternoon. • Every hour stop and feel compassion for others for 15 seconds. • Start to let the feelings generated by the meditation extend into the rest of the day. Notice suffering that you can see all around, not just the obvious but the subtle discomfort, anxiety, etc. which we all feel. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Maintain the mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Keep up the other practices during the day especially as needed, e.g., change, death, etc.

Lesson 37

Generating Positive Emotions 4 - Exchange Of Self And Others

Quote for the day: ‘Tonglen practice begins to dissolve the illusion that each of us is alone with this personal suffering that no one else can understand.’ — Pema Chodron Points to understand: • What is the 2nd technique? Tong-Len or Giving & taking practice is a renowned ancient healing meditation, rediscovered in the 12th century by a nun who had leprosy and cured herself, it has since brought healing to millions of people. • What is the essence of this technique? It requires a radical change in our thought process to reverse the tendency to put ourselves first and instead focus on others well-being. • Basis of practice: The foundation of doing this is the same as the first method of developing love and compassion; recognition of suffering and generating equanimity. • Actual practice: We then follow a 2-step process to enable the exchange of ourselves and others: 1. Recognizing the faults of self-cherishing: When we investigate properly, we will find that the root of all suffering in the world comes down to this attitude of self-cherishing. Whether it be within personal relationships, communities, neighbors, colleagues, regions, or indeed countries this attitude of our side is more important than another creates all the problems in the world. The same is true on an individual level when experiencing discomfort from insects, noise, criticism, etc. all is rooted in self-concern. Our physical health and our ability to grow especially spiritually are completely blocked by this attitude. Recognizing all this we develop the conviction to let go of this thought by seeing the harm it does to ourselves and others. 2. We then consider the benefits of cherishing others: Basically, these are the opposite of what we saw with self-cherishing in other words all the happiness, well-being, health, etc. in the world can all be traced back to this attitude of cherishing others. This attitude is the one we should, therefore always try to increase and develop. • Exchanging ourselves and others: On the basis of these contemplations, we do the exchange in our mind between ourselves and others. The importance we gave to ourselves, we try to have that for others and the lesser importance we had for others we apply to ourselves. Please don’t confuse this with lack of self-love we are also one living being and we must have love and compassion for ourselves or we cannot feel that for others.

Lesson 38

Generating Compassion 4 - Exchange of Self & Others Meditation

The main practice of taking then follows the main practice of giving and taking. Using our breath, we visualize all the suffering others experience as black smoke or dirt inside them. We then breathe this black into ourselves feeling we are actually taking their suffering from them. When breathing in we visualize in the center of our chest a black stone or rock that represents our selfishness. When the black smoke reaches this point it destroys like a bomb our selfishness completely. • Giving: Then as we breathe out we imagine white light or smoke which is all that we possess, all we can imagine, everything good in the world and everything other living beings need and give this to them on the out breath. We see this white entering their bodies and making them completely happy in every way. • Gradual process: We begin this practice with our future self and beings that are close to us gradually extending to beings we find difficult and then to all living beings. It helps to start with only taking and gradually work up to giving also. Challenges for sessions 37/38: • Do the meditation as per the audio, start to familiarize yourself with the practice, and make it a daily habit, ideally in the evenings or late afternoon. • Use this practice in everyday life, when you see suffering in others take it from them on the in breath, and when you feel happy give it away to others. Remember doing this does not actually make you suffer or lose your happiness in fact the very opposite. • Every hour stop and feel compassion for others for 15 seconds. • Start to let the feelings generated by the meditation extend into the rest of the day. Notice suffering that you can see all around, not just the obvious but the subtle discomfort, anxiety etc. which we all feel. • Do also the breathing meditation ideally in the morning. • Maintain the mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Keep up the other practices during the day especially as needed, e.g. change, death, etc. Meditation practice: The meditation on giving and taking (tong-len) (A profound and powerful healing meditation) Begin with breathing, bringing your attention into the present moment and watching the breath for a few moments. Then start by visualizing all living beings around you in all directions as far as you can see. Begin with equalizing your feelings towards others we are connected with all others and they all equally wish to be happy and wish to be free of suffering. Then think about the sufferings of others using an example if you can of someone you know who is suffering badly at the moment. Allow the feeling of compassion to arise as strongly as possible- ‘may they be free from all their suffering and its causes. Taking Visualize your object of suffering and contemplate their suffering until an unbearable sense of compassion arises within you. Imagine that their suffering takes on the form of black smoke filling their body. Think about your willingness to take on their suffering through the force of your compassion. Then, using the in breath, imagine that when you inhale, you draw the suffering out of them, again in the form of black smoke. This smoke collects in a little cloud right in front of you. With one deep in-breath, take in the black smoke. Several things happen at once: Visualize your self-centeredness, self-absorption, selfishness in the form of a hard rock in the center of your chest. As you breathe in the smoke, it smashes this rock of self-cherishing into smithereens and the black smoke completely disappears. Your body completely fills with soft white light, which represents peace, loving-kindness, compassion, and wisdom. Now visualize that they are completely without suffering and have been purified of negativities and obscurations. Giving Then imagine exhaling that white light to the object of your love, compassion. They in turn become filled with white light, which fills them with peace, happiness, etc. You can also imagine emanating replicas of your body and visualize that these bodies transform into whatever others need – cool rain to pacify heat, food to alleviate hunger, joy, peaceful mind, etc. Then imagine exhaling peace, calm mind, compassion all the spiritual qualities so that they achieve complete peace and happiness. Imagine that they are filled with happiness, both temporary and long term. Objects of meditation: If it is difficult to take on the sufferings of others, begin by taking on your own future suffering, that of tomorrow, next week, next year, next life, etc. Then, try someone you find easy to love, someone you naturally feel love and compassion for. Then try a neutral person, someone toward whom you don’t have any strong feelings. Next, try someone who annoys you, or has hurt you, someone you have a hard time getting along with. Finally, try to extend the visualization and meditation to all living beings. After you have become familiar and proficient with tong-len meditation, then you should combine the meditation with your breathing. While breathing in, visualize taking on the sufferings of others in the form of black smoke While breathing out, think that you breathe out all your goodness, and this transforms into whatever is needed for the benefit of others. Dedicate your practice with the hope that you may actually be able to relieve the suffering of all beings and bring them happiness. Thank you so much for your practice!

Lesson 39

Letting Go Of The Wrong Sense Of Self

Quote for the day: “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu Points to understand: • What is the actual nature of our ‘identity? The identity we create for ourselves throughout our lives is not as real as we believe it to be. We create that identity through experiences, events, upbringing, education, friends, etc. but the important point is that it is a creation, not an actual truly existent phenomenon. It is merely a concept that our minds create which if we look for is not findable. We have a sense that there is an I that has been with us throughout our lives since we were young throughout all the changes in our bodies and minds. This is a complete misconception and one that is at the root of our mental unhappiness and the physical problems that arise from that. • Why does this matter: The problem with this imagined identity is that as soon as we create an imagined self, we prioritize that self over everything that is not this self. Hence, we favor ourselves in sometimes overt but often subtle ways. In this way, we develop a grasping towards oneself and aversion towards others. We relate to objects as if they were intrinsically positive or negative. We miss the reality that they are this way in our egotistical viewpoint not objectively. These base emotions lead to the stronger emotions of anger, fear, anxiety, worry, stress, etc., and underlie all our negative emotional issues. In short, we create an imagined world of self and others that is disconnected and we miss the reality of everything in the universe being intimately connected and inter dependent. That inter-dependant reality is a healthy secure reality from which true happiness and mental ease arise naturally. • Beginning to change this dynamic: How do we begin to reduce clinging to this imagined self and begin to live in this healthier, connected way? By getting a clear picture in our minds of what this supposed self looks like and then examining our body and mind to see if we can find such a self. Seeing clearly that it is un-findable as we imagine we rest in that understanding of non-findability and gradually our compulsive clinging to this ‘self’ lessens and we come to feel connected with everything around us not separate from it. In such a way our fear, anxiety against the world, and this constant need to protect this ‘self’ also lessen bringing unprecedented peace, freedom, and joy. Most importantly in this context, we are now free to create a new and healthier concept of ourselves.

Lesson 40

Letting Go Of The Seperate Sense Of Self - Meditation

Meditation practice: Begin with taking a few deeper breaths to calm the body, speech, and mind. Then create a positive motivation to be here doing this practice not just for oneself but for the benefit of all living beings. The meditation then follows a 4 step process: 1. Begin by thinking “I,” “I.” Allow the feeling of “I” to grow. Focus on the sense of “I,” or “me.” One way to bring up this sense of I is to generate a strong emotion ... for example, bring to mind an instance in which you felt strong anger or strong fear or try to imagine being scared, embarrassed, criticized, or when diagnosed with a serious illness. Now allow a small part of your mind to subtly act as an observer, observing this sense of I. (That “observer” must be very sneaky and subtle, otherwise, this sense of I tends to disappear.) 2. Then come to the definite conclusion that if such an ‘I’ exists it should be findable either within the mind and body or somewhere else in the world, there are no other possibilities. Be certain of this. 3. Then holding this sense of self in mind either an image, a feeling, or whichever way it shows itself, begin to look for it. Start with the body, and sink that image of this self into each part of the body, such as the head this self, the arms, legs, the torso, inner organs, etc. Go through each part of the body and examine if any part is this sense of self until you come to the inevitable conclusion that this self does not exist within the body. Then let that understanding become a feeling rather than a thought and rest with that. Then look through the mind, again holding this sense of self in the mind and sink that into every thought, emotion, memory, intention, etc. making sure that none of these are this ’self’ Again get to that conclusion and allow it to be a feeling and focus on that. 4. Finally check for certain that this ‘self’ doesn’t exist anywhere else apart from the body and mind. Can we find a self that possesses the body and mind? Can we put the body and mind on one side and the self on another? Is this self somewhere else in the world, at my workplace, at home, in another country etc.? Can this ‘self’ exist without the body or mind? Now come strongly to the final conclusion that if this ‘self’ is unfindable within the body and mind nor anywhere else in the universe then it simply does not exist. It is completely empty of any existence, not located anywhere, a mere conception of our minds with no true existence whatsoever. Let that conclusion of non-findability come down to a feeling which is a sense of complete lack. A sense that something you always believed to be there and indeed rested most of your life decisions on is actually completely non-existent. Focus on that emptiness as long as you can. Finally dedicate the positive energy created in your meditation to freedom from suffering and complete happiness for all living beings. Challenges for sessions 39/40: • Do the meditation as per the audio and start to familiarize yourself with the practice, the evenings are a good time for this practice but anytime is fine. • Start to see how we constantly create this sense of self in our life and become predisposed towards it and against the ‘external’ world which seems to not be ‘it’! For example, we often feel what we are doing, thinking, involved with, or affiliated with is more meaningful and somehow ‘better’ than what others do. Where we choose to live, the car we drive, our views especially are superior to what others choose rather than just a personal preference. For example, when cycling we might feel car drivers are dangerous but when driving a car we feel cyclists are a nuisance. We often favor our own position and deprecate others. Notice yourself doing this and consider how it is based on a false sense of self. • Try to feel during the day a sense of connectedness to the world and beings around you rather than separation. Use the compassion contemplation to remind yourself that we are all basically alike in our hopes and fears and our desire to be happy and not suffer. • Keep up with the other meditations during the day especially the calm abiding in the morning. • Maintain mindful moments during the day, a mindful action, and learn to cultivate introspection. • Keep up the other practices during the day especially as needed, e.g. change, death, etc.

Lesson 41

Radical Transformation Into A More Healthy Version Of Onself

Quote for the day: “The process of change requires unlearning. It requires breaking the habit of the old self and reinventing a new self.” Points to understand: • First, we need to let go: Once we have begun to integrate the understanding that our supposed identity is a mere illusion and a conception we create, then we can let this go and create a new healthier identity. If we don’t let go of the mistaken view of ourselves first then we are simply piling delusion on top of delusion which will never succeed. • Essential way to contemplate: The vital point when doing this is that letting go of the false self and visualizing a healthier better self must be done at the deeper part of our minds not on the surface. In other words, it needs to be a genuine feeling rather than a thought. Our whole being should be infused with this conviction that this is who we are. • Extending the contemplation: We extend this contemplation into everything we do during the day. First when we are washing, eating, dressing, receiving treatments, etc. stay with this healthy, confident, pure image of yourself. Then extend this to the people and beings around you instead of judging people and seeing negative aspects to them try to see them in a pure, happy, wise, healthy, and beautiful. Go further and see this for the environment around you, instead of seeing it as dirty, messy, or ugly see it as pure, clean, and beautiful. Remember your mind is the principal creator of your reality so this is not a game but a better way to engage with the world. • How this works: In this way, our mind can overcome the body, which in comparison to the mind is ‘stupid’ and if done correctly healing is sure to happen. This is the same principle as that employed in the placebo effect where research shows 70-80% efficacy from a sugar pill compared to actual medicine! The concept here though can be even more effective due to the letting go of the unhealthy image first and the fact that we are not just imagining something here. We are seeing ourselves and the world around us in a perfectly valid but much healthier way.

Lesson 42

Radical Transformation - Meditation

Begin with taking a few deeper breaths calming the body, speech, and mind. Then create a positive motivation to be here doing this practice not just for oneself but for the benefit of all living beings. So we begin this meditation following the same 4 step process as the previous one: 1. Begin by bringing to mind the sense of “I”. Allow this feeling of “I” to grow. Focus on the sense of “I,” or “me.” 2. Then come to the definite conclusion that if such an ‘I’ exists it should be findable either within the mind and body or somewhere else in the world, there are no other possibilities. Be certain of this. 3. Then holding this sense of self in mind either an image, a feeling or whichever way it shows itself, begin to look for it. Start with the body, sink that image of this self into each part of the body, is the head this self, the arms, legs, torso, inner organs etc. Go through each part of the body and examine if any part is this sense of self, until you come to the inevitable conclusion that this self does not exist within the body. Then let that understanding become a feeling rather than a thought and rest with that. Then look through the mind, again holding this sense of self in the mind and sink that into every thought, emotion, memory, intention, etc. making sure that none of these are this ’self’ Again get to that conclusion and allow it to be a feeling and focus on that. 4. Finally check for certain that this ‘self’ doesn’t exist anywhere else apart from the body and mind. Can we find a self that possesses the body and mind? Can we put the body and mind on one side and the self on another? Is this self somewhere else in the world, at my workplace, at home, in another country, etc.? Can this ‘self’ exist without the body or mind? Now come strongly to the final conclusion that if this ‘self’ is unfindable within the body and mind nor anywhere else in the universe then it simply does not exist. It is completely empty of any existence, not located anywhere, a mere conception of our minds with no true existence whatsoever. Let that conclusion of non-findability come down to a feeling which is a sense of complete lack. A sense that something you always believed to be there and indeed rested most of your life decisions on is actually completely non-existent. Focus on that emptiness as long as you can. Now within that state of ‘emptiness’ of a solid sense of self, let the conception of a better healthier self, free from all sickness and problems physical or mental, arise. Feel this sense of new self throughout your body and mind within genuine conviction; this is now YOU! Don’t leave it as a thought but let it come down to a feeling within your whole being that this is me this vibrant, happy, healthy, strong and confident self is actually me. Be with this feeling, rest your attention with this feeling as long as possible. If the old sense of self appears, negate again as above and from within that negation arise again in the healthy self. Try to maintain this feeling as much as possible during the day toward yourself, toward the people and beings around you, and toward the environment. Finally, dedicate the positive energy created in your meditation to freedom from suffering and complete happiness for all living beings. Thank you for all your practice.