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COURSE

Overcome Perfectionism Through Self-Compassion

With Tara Cousineau, PhD

Are you a perfectionist? Welcome to the club! The upside to perfectionism is that it’s how many of us get to where we are in life. The downside is the wealth of personal costs. This 10-day journey helps you reshape your relationship with perfectionism by asking: What’s the difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence? How much fear and anxiety is rooted in believing that you are never doing enough or not worthy enough? Each lesson explores a skill that can support you in understanding perfectionism with “kindsight.” Together, we will set the compass on a course of self-compassion—and what you will discover along the way may just surprise you.

Learn to let go of unrealistic standards and embrace your imperfections.

10 Days

13.9k students

4.8 stars

16 min / day

English

About this course

RAIN

Inner Critic Dialogue

Self-Compassion

Meet your Teacher

Tara Cousineau, PhD

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Boston, MA, USA

Tara Cousineau, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and meditation teacher. She's the author of "The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World" and "The Perfectionist's Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self-Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever." Tara is a staff psychologist at Harvard University's Counseling and Mental Health Services and has a private coaching practice. She is dedicated to helping others access self-compassion and courage in navigating life's inevitable challenges, with a special focus on high achievers who get in their own way.

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10 Days

13.9k students

4.8 stars

16 min / day

English

Lesson 1

Healthy Vs. Unhealthy Perfectionism

In Lesson 1 we begin to understand our tricky brains and how our emotion motivation systems can cause inner conflicts—and how it’s not our fault. The human design is full of paradoxes! With the help of color coding our emotional responses, we can begin to observe why and when healthy striving might morph into unhealthy patterns, like perfectionism and self-criticism, and start to have more patience and understanding.

Lesson 2

Befriending The Inner Critic

In Lesson 2, we begin to cultivate emotional courage and turn toward what is difficult with compassion. The term “kindsight” is introduced with an invitation to take a peek at what you beat yourself up about. Through a reflection exercise you will undercover an inner critical voice, which is key in understanding how to have a different relationship with perfectionism.

Lesson 3

Cultivating A Compassionate Voice

In Lesson 3, we begin to cultivate a kind, wise and strong inner voice as an antidote to the harsher, self-critical voice. With insights from neuroscience, we begin to understand the negativity bias and how attention gets naturally hijacked by stressful experiences and threats, even those we imagine in our own minds.

Lesson 4

Failing Forward With Love

In Lesson 4, we take a good look at the continuum of perfectionism, from healthy striving to unhealthy achievement. Tips from positive psychology offer a refreshing lense on how we can progress toward life goals (or not) and the mindset shift we need to make to living a rewarding and meaningful life. This activity invites you to create power statements to begin to shift your inner narratives when challenges arise.

Lesson 5

Your Inner Safety-Net: Self-Compassion

Self-compassion can sound too soft for some. Yet the truth is that self-compassion is a powerful inner resource. In Lesson 5, we uncover the inherent strength in cultivating inner compassion. We also look at our resistance to it through the practice of “kindfulness.”

Lesson 6

Befriending The Body

If you have perfectionistic tendencies you likely carry tension or pain in your body. You may even have hang-ups about your physical appearance. Plus, your speedy mind is constantly assessing and evaluating your place in the outside world, and it’s easy to ignore the emotions or sensations on the inside—until the body speaks up. Lesson 6 offers a visualization in finding relief and acceptance through kind attention to your body.

Lesson 7

Creating A Positivity Bias

Lesson 7 addresses the question of “How do you grow inner strengths?” Cultivating self-compassion and other inner resources allows us to take in the goodness in life and recognize the goodness in ourselves. But often there is resistance or we forget the pleasant moments. Today’s positive neuroplasticity practice helps you notice what’s beneficial in your life and thereby neutralize the negativity bias.

Lesson 8

Kindsight And Creating Upward Spirals

Lesson 8 explores the notion of kindsight, which arises when you experience moments that change how you look at the world, how you see the past, and how you imagine the future from an attitude of resilience. In this way, journaling gives structure and meaning to life’s experiences. Writing can also have positive effects on overall wellbeing. The activity involves writing a special type of letter and it may just surprise you when you read it.

Lesson 9

Course Correcting With Core Values

Lesson 9 reveals how a compassion-oriented approach allows you to see the difference between compassionate self-improvement and fear-based self-criticism. By seeing your life as a journey and creating a mental map, you have a choice about which roads you can travel to pursue your dreams, desires and goals. Core values are the keys to your map and help you stay the course.

Lesson 10

Your Heart’s Compass

This final lesson offers a compassionate visualization helping you to integrate the teaching in this course, savor your progress, open your heart, and immerse yourself in loving awareness. Let your inner wise voice offer words of encouragement and care as you continue to practice self-compassion in your daily life, which will serve as an antidote to moments of self-judgment.