Hey,
It's Arit here.
And today I would love to show you one practice that has hugely changed my own relationship with anxiety.
The next time that you have the urge to send a text,
Maybe you want to ask,
Are we okay?
Is everything all right between us?
Did I do something?
Or maybe you just have the urge to check your texts.
Try to see if you can wait.
Not forever,
Just 60 seconds.
Let's practice that together.
I'd love to invite you to close your eyes or lower your gaze.
You can also keep them open if that's more comfortable to you.
And let's take one breath here together.
Breathing in.
An ounce.
Imagine you've just noticed that your partner hasn't sent you a text or they haven't responded.
Immediately feel that urge you usually feel,
The urge to check,
The urge to know,
The urge to make the discomfort go away.
Where do you feel this urge?
Maybe you feel it in your fingers,
For example,
That urge in your fingers that need to reach for your phone.
Or maybe you feel it somewhere else.
Your chest,
Your stomach.
Now,
Instead of acting through,
Slowly open and close your hands.
Notice the impulse,
Notice the urge.
Don't fight it,
Just notice it.
And take another slow inhale.
And exhale.
Again,
Inhale.
Maybe the movements changed.
Maybe it started in your hands,
Maybe now it's in your shoulders or somewhere else.
And just keep going with.
That energy,
That surge behind the urge.
Urges are interesting,
They feel so important.
So crucial,
So permanent.
But they're actually waves.
If you can stay with your urge long enough.
They will almost always shift.
And the urge feels like you have to act now.
Remember,
It's a wave that will eventually crash.
Keep moving for one more minute.
Wherever the movement is now,
Maybe it's still in your hands.
Maybe it's somewhere else in your body,
Or maybe you've already.
.
.
Found some stillness.
And settled.
Slowly bring your movement to a close.
Take one more breath in.
And out.
Gently open your eyes.
Make some intentional physical contact with yourself.
Back here and now.
And remember,
If you can stay with your urge long enough,
It will almost always shift,
At least for another few minutes.
And this doesn't mean you shouldn't text your partner or whoever you're dating.
Sometimes reaching out is healthy.
But the question I like to ask myself or encourage clients to ask themselves.
Is are you reaching out for connection?
Or are you reaching out to escape your own discomfort?
That one distinction has transformed so many relationships that i've worked with.
Because when we learn to ride the wave of the urge.
And tolerate it with so much more comfort.
We get to choose our response instead of reacting automatically.
And if you'd like to explore this much more deeply,
I teach an entire somatic process for this inside my course called Heal Anxious Attachment,
Why Reassurance Never Feels Like Enough.
You can find it on my Insight Timer profile under video courses,
And I hope to practice with you there.
