A Dose Of God 6 - Everywhere Even In Your Darkest Day

Trigger Warning: This talk includes examples of hopeless thoughts that plagued my mind during times of severe depression. This episode is about allowing myself to connect with a divine presence during moments of despair. It is informed by verse "E" of the "ABCs of a Dose of God" poem, "A dose of God is Everywhere even in your darkest day." There is a brief description of the verse, a personal reflection, a statement of gratitude, and a few guiding questions for your own reflection.

Transcript

Welcome to A Dose of God,

A short-form,

Self-reflective podcast series based on the book,

A Good Dose of God,

Everybody's Best Friend.

The purpose of this series is two-fold.

First,

To enhance and sustain my own resonance with the eternal divine presence in my life.

And second,

To demonstrate how the book's poem,

The ABCs of A Dose of God,

May serve as a framework for others to regularly identify,

Connect with,

And express gratitude for what's good among common occurrences in their lives.

This episode is informed by the verse of the poem representing the letter E,

A Dose of God is Everywhere,

Even in Your Darkest Day.

It includes a brief description of the verse,

A personal reflection demonstrating how the verse has facilitated my own resonance with doses of God in my life,

A statement of gratitude,

And a few guiding questions that may be considered for your own reflection.

Here is a description of the verse,

A Dose of God is Everywhere,

Even in Your Darkest Day.

God's grace is everywhere,

All the time.

When you are unable to see Him,

He is there.

When you are unable to hear Him,

He is there.

When you are unable to feel Him,

He is there.

When you are at your lowest low,

He is there,

Waiting to help you get up.

He has a dose readily available for you.

You must simply open your soul and let it in.

When in a time of despair,

Pause for a moment of presence.

Be still.

Clear your mind of the toxic thoughts that keep the moment dark.

Allow God's presence to enter your soul.

Allow yourself to realize the grace that He designed for you.

He is there.

Here is my personal reflection on the verse.

To me,

This verse is about allowing myself to connect with the divine presence during moments of despair.

Throughout the years,

I have endured many moments of despair,

Several of which I believe resulted in my inability to cope with circumstances that did not follow along my intangible spectrum of expectations,

Whether or not my expectations were operationally defined.

Such despondent moments are evidenced by holes I punched indoors at my parents' house as a child,

A handful of pills I ingested with hopes of not waking up on a couple occasions as an adolescent,

Irrational reactions directed toward people I love as a young adult on multiple occasions.

My internal darknesses that were made manifest into these types of externally harmful demonstrations were partially captured in poems and reflections written during some of my most emotionally arduous times in my life.

Here are a few excerpts representing a sample of feelings I felt while enduring dark moments.

I'm gonna end it now,

Into a deep dark hole.

I'll take myself far away.

I'll forever destroy my soul.

It all starts to slowly slide down the drain.

What once pissed me off now drives me insane.

Why not just end it now and ease all the pain?

Trigger in hand,

Gun at my head,

Never again will I leave my bed.

Victory,

Yes,

I finally won.

No more problems with the help of a gun.

I just want to rage,

I just want to yell.

I feel like I'm sending myself straight into hell.

This chaos controls me as of now I am not free.

Will the exit soon be clear?

What am I to be?

So many questions with answers untold,

Feelings of insanity burrow deep in my soul.

I don't have the slightest idea of what is happening.

The feelings of insanity that I experience make no sense whatsoever.

There has never been a time during my life when I had wished this hatred upon myself.

Although I was unaware of a divine presence during my most troubling times,

I believe my survival through periods of such intense hopelessness and rage is evidence that divinity was by my side to ease me out of the misery.

I think my inability to see a connection in my younger years,

Including childhood,

Adolescent,

And young adult stages of life between unmet expectations and unbearable discouragement resulted in a greater ratio of despairing moments during those times.

As I have become more aware of the eternally divine presence in my life,

I have become more adept at connecting with the presence,

Which allows me to more effectively cope with circumstances that reside outside my spectrum of expectations.

I think at the very core of my current set of expectations is an expectation for me to realize contentment or a sense of rightness,

Regardless of whether a circumstance is perceptively good,

Bad,

Or neutral.

What I mean by this is a feeling of conviction that I am at a point along the path of life that is right for me.

To this day,

There are situations in my life that don't align with what I might expect,

But I am much more aware of the divinity that can illuminate my dark aura and am therefore better at connecting with its presence and drawing from its strength before I fall too deep into a seemingly bottomless pit of despair.

I don't really have any formal methods for connecting with divine presence,

However the following types of practices seem to help when my contentment or a sense of rightness is being compromised.

I focus on my breath,

Which draws my attention to the current moment and dissolves unnecessary focus on incessant,

Reminiscing thoughts of the past or anticipating thoughts toward the future.

This practice includes an enhanced sense of rightness or contentment by allowing me to resonate more deeply with God's ever-present existence.

I silently recite the ABCs of a Dose of God poem in part or in full.

I pray,

God please use me as a tool for your word to contribute to the greater good of the world.

Where and how can I make a difference?

I pray,

God please help me do something I enjoy and am good at doing in such a way that makes a positive difference.

I pray something along the lines of,

God please free me from resentment,

From anger,

From hatred.

Free me from haste,

Judgment,

And self-doubt.

Please fill me with love and peace.

Fill me with altruistic intentions and the courage and passion to put your intentions into action.

God please provide me with both the knowledge to know what's right and the capacity to do it.

God please see and perform your will that is right in front of me at each moment.

Give me courage to seek meaning when it is right for me to understand.

And give me comfort in uncertainty if I begin searching for meaning in something that is not intended to be understood.

Guide me into the eternal essence of goodness,

Your boundless and infinite glory.

I'm not oblivious to the likelihood that there will be moments of periodic darkness sprinkled throughout my life.

However I find comfort in my faith that divinity will prevent me from falling too deep and will help me emerge if I allow myself to resonate with its presence.

I am immeasurably grateful for God's ongoing presence and will attempt to remain attentive to his ever-present existence during troubling times.

Here are a few guiding questions to consider that might facilitate your own personal reflection upon the verse.

A dose of God is everywhere,

Even in your darkest day.

Take a moment to reflect on a few of your darker days and how you were able to or could have resonated with God's presence during those times.

For example,

What are examples of times when you have experienced dark days?

How do you feel during those times?

How do you navigate moments of despair so you can feel better and glean value through the experience?

In what ways do you express gratitude for God's eternal existence during dark times and the peaceful energy he can bring to you?

What strategies could you implement to maintain awareness of God's presence during moments of despair?

In closing,

When you find yourself in a dark day and submit your soul to God's presence,

You receive a dose of God.

The next episode in this series will focus on the verse representing the letter F.

A dose is there in your best friend,

Helping you to find your way.

Thank you so much for listening.

May you consistently position yourself to accept and resonate with the doses of God that are ever-presently here for you.

The reflections in this series represent my interpretations of the time they were transcribed and may have been different if they were written at other points in the past or future.

Each episode is intended to be unique,

However multiple iterations of common themes and examples are likely to surface throughout the series.

Reviews

Genuine and heartwarming. It helped me greatly. Thank you.

Thank you 🙏