Welcome to Connection on Your Body's Terms,
A loneliness practice.
I'm Kori,
And I'm a late-diagnosed neurodivergent therapist.
Today I want to talk about when you're lonely and exhausted all at the same time.
When your head wants connection and your body wants a blanket and no humans around.
Today will be a gentle,
Choice-based practice for autistic,
ADHD,
And high-masking adults.
Today we're going to look at low demand ways to connect.
Types of connections that already count and how to find new connection without forcing it and without burning yourself out.
If you're here,
You might be lonely,
And you might also be really,
Really tired.
Maybe your body hurts.
Maybe your job is draining,
And it's taking every last drop of energy you have out of you.
Maybe you're in burnout,
And the idea of going out or making plans or even having a conversation feels like way too much.
And at the same time,
Some part of you is aching for connection.
Maybe this is connection you've been able to have in the past.
Or maybe it's connection you dream of having but have never quite figured out.
This is a tough place to be.
Your body needs one thing,
And your heart needs another,
And it can feel like you have to pick.
So for the next few minutes,
We're not going to pick.
We're going to look for the places where you can have both.
Connection that respects what your body needs right now.
Get comfortable in whatever way works for you.
Eyes open or closed,
Still,
Moving.
You don't have to picture anything.
You can just think alongside of me.
First,
I want to say something that a lot of neurodivergent people need to hear.
It's absolutely okay if connection feels hard.
It can be hard because of masking,
Because being around people means translating yourself and censoring yourself all day long because of the noise and the small talk and the recovery time afterwards that nobody else seems to need.
And one of the strange parts of that is that a lot of us feel loneliest in a room full of people surrounded and completely unseen,
Amongst other people that feel like they're different.
They don't understand us,
They're not interested in us,
Or they don't appreciate the things that make us happy.
If you felt that,
It makes sense.
Being near people and feeling connected to people are not the same thing.
This doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong,
Doesn't mean you're unlikable,
Doesn't mean you're unlovable,
And it doesn't mean that you won't have connection in your life.
So let's start with your body.
Not because we're looking to fix anything.
We're just looking to see what your body can handle today.
You might not get a clear answer and that's okay too.
Some of us don't notice what our body needs until much later.
You can just make a guess.
Does your body feel like it has the energy for talking today?
Or would it prefer quiet?
Does your body want people nearby or nobody around at all?
Is it a day for your voice to do the talking or a day for your thumbs to get going on your cell phone?
Whatever comes up,
That's just our starting point.
We'll build connection from there,
Not from what you think you should be able to do,
But what we're actually able to do today.
Let's talk about low demand connection.
Connection doesn't have to look like a dinner party.
It doesn't have to look like a happy hour.
And it doesn't have to even involve talking.
Think about the smallest,
Lowest demand way that you could connect today.
Maybe it's a text.
One line.
Maybe you send someone a meme.
Maybe you put a heart on someone's photo.
Something that says,
I'm thinking about you without asking for a conversation back.
Maybe it's a DM to somebody who gets it,
Who gets you.
Maybe it's reading a post in a group chat or a forum where people like you hang out.
You don't even have to post,
Just being there,
Seeing people who think like you counts.
Maybe there are people in a group that are going through something you're going through and just knowing they're out there existing feels comforting.
Maybe it's sitting with your dog or your cat.
Maybe a bird or a bunny,
A jumping spider.
Whoever your creature is,
The weight of them,
The breathing next to yours,
Their eyes looking at you without any expectations,
Animals or connection.
They never ever require that you say the right thing.
Maybe there's comfort in a show,
The one you've watched so many times that you know every single line.
Maybe those characters feel like company because they've been there for you in some of your darkest moments.
Maybe it's a day to reread old journals or old messages,
Connecting with past versions of yourself or with people who were there for you in a different time.
None of those are lesser forms of connection.
Those are forms of connection that are made for the body you have today and your unique needs right in this moment.
Which of these feel possible right now?
Even just one.
Now,
If you have a little bit of energy,
I want to gently invite you to think of something.
And if you can't.
.
.
Just let this part wash past you.
Is it time to think about new ways to connect?
Not right now.
Not today.
Not even necessarily anytime soon.
But would you invite the idea of thinking about it?
Maybe a club built around a special interest where the conversation has a built-in topic and nobody has to do small talk.
Maybe a meetup with other neurodivergent people.
Maybe an online class where you can show up,
Learn something you love,
And keep the camera off.
The best connections for a lot of us happen side by side,
Doing a thing together,
Not staring at each other making conversation.
We walk a dog.
We go rock climbing.
We go for a hike.
We build something side by side.
Or maybe we sit on the couch and read our book and someone near us plays a video game.
That's connection too.
What's one place where people like you might already be gathering?
You don't have to sign up for anything.
You can just let the ideas sit there.
Ideas count too.
Imagine yourself having something to look forward to or a person who can handle you sharing a really cool part of yourself with them.
Maybe it's another neurodivergent person.
Maybe it's a helper.
Maybe it's an animal.
Even if that sounds like something you can't imagine,
Know that it exists and know that you deserve it.
Before we finish,
Think about one small thing you might do today.
Something that keeps your body in mind and gives a little bit to the part of you that's feeling so lonely.
Remember that our brain will convince us that the way that we're feeling today is the only way we'll ever feel.
That doesn't mean our brain is right.
Loneliness comes and loneliness can go.
We just have to know this.
Think of something you can do today.
To move your ideas forward.
One text.
10 Minutes With Your Dog,
An episode of a show that feels like home.
Loneliness is information.
It's telling you that connection matters to you,
And it does.
You deserve the kind that actually fits you,
Not the kind that feels like war on your body.
Think about what you'd like your own connection to look like.
Thanks for spending this time with me.
I'm Corey,
And I'll see you next time.
