To know.
That the whole planet is changing.
I don't know,
Maybe you guys have noticed over the past couple of years,
There've been a lot of things shaking the tree,
You know.
To know that everybody's going through it.
Is nice,
But doesn't always really come to my heart.
I mean,
It helps my head.
To go,
Okay,
Okay,
So somehow this is gonna be okay somehow,
Right?
Because the head's the only one that is doubtful.
That anything would be other than perfectly orchestrated.
So great honor that,
But it doesn't mean that knowing.
I mean we could absolutely talk about the way consciousness is shifting.
We could talk about the way that the magnetics of the planet are changing just because of the the 26,
000 year cycle of this planet moving through time and space.
We can talk about those things.
But it doesn't necessarily touch the depth of my soul and my heart.
Might be ready to emerge and say,
Well,
Who am I then?
If none of that was like true and real,
Like without exception,
If my relationships and change suddenly.
And I don't really know who I am without my pony.
Or I don't know who I am without that relationship.
Or I don't know who I am if it's 60 degrees on Kauai one day.
Like,
Who am I when these things change?
That comes back to the curiosity,
You know,
Even in.
The intensity of loss and grief.
There's a bunch of words,
We can all say a bunch of words,
But really what comes down to it is do I have the courage to be vulnerable to myself,
To be curious about who I really am now?
Once something changes,
Whether it's a loss or a gain,
You know,
Perceivable gain,
Like something cool happens.
And now who am I?
I can't hold on anymore to.
.
.
This thought that nobody cares about what I have to say.
Now what?
It's a cultivation.
That.
It doesn't work if I save these questions for the hard times,
Like fix-it tools.
It's a cultivation.
To develop a way of being.
Where my priority is expansion.
My priority is becoming ever more aware of the movement of my heart outward.
And even in the times when there's ridiculous pain.
And that all I can feel is the pain.
And it becomes a mental exercise to remind myself that hearts expand outward.
That's just the way it is.
That's what light does.
Light expands.
Even when the sensations and the circumstances are overwhelming to the degree that it becomes a mental exercise just to go,
I know light expands outward and that's what I'm here for,
Let's go.
But it's a cultivation.
To continuously be asking to know.
Myself as that light.
Through all the changes,
The one thing that's consistent is that light.
Regardless of who goes here and there and whatever.
The thing that's consistent is this relationship.
And you know,
Sometimes this guy gets a little bit testy and goes off on temper tantrums or whatever,
But the heart is always going to be right there to say,
No,
No,
I totally get it.
I totally get why you would have done that.
That's all right.
I still got space.
Still got space.
And of course,
You totally lost it.
Ate the one pound bag of blue corn tortilla chips.
Not that I would have done that.
It's all right,
It totally makes sense.
The crunching was soothing.
Okay,
Very good.
Very good.
It's this relationship that we can cultivate.
And then from there.
Go do what we love.
Even if that's.
.
.
Sitting at home and drinking cocoa because doing anything more than that is too much for me today.
That's love,
That's loving.
Every once in a while,
I get all wrapped up,
Like,
Oh,
I haven't done enough.
Oh my gosh,
How am I going to make this happen?
I have this whole other website project going that is like a huge vision.
And I'm like,
I have no idea how that's going to happen.
And it involves lots of other people too.
How are they going to want to play with me?
How am I going to do this?
What I've been playing with recently.
Yes.
Time.
And having a relationship between my heart and time.
Stuff in the future,
Right?
Because when we start,
And this guy starts having a temper tantrum because of pain,
Because of loss,
Because of confusion,
Misunderstanding.
All the things.
Then it gets really easy.
To have things collapse in.
And be drawn down.
When the heart has a relationship with time,
Maybe we can do this.
If you bring your awareness to your heart center here as we sit.
Not to accomplish anything but just to be aware of the awareness of it just for funsies right let yourself feel your physicality just start to expand from the inside out simply because you generate movement in there.
And watch the feeling of it.
And keep it that simple.
With that feeling,
I can start to play with.
Looking out ahead.
Not looking at the things happening,
But just looking at the spaciousness.
Of a day.
A week.
A year.
A decade.
And this is where past and future are like super cool allies.
Like let's go open up space for the next 10 years of existence.
Wait,
Look how much has happened in the last 10 years.
How much change has happened in the last 10 years.
Holy smokes,
I am nothing like I was 10 years ago,
So boom.
Let's open that up and let my heart go out into those 10 years.
Beyond what the mind can understand,
Let's just do it.
Send my heart into those years.
And then relax and have a sip of tea and say,
All right,
So now show me who I am.
When that's how I organize my life.
Cultivating.
An approach to life that includes that kind of depth.
Soft playfulness.
And creativity.
It's so natural.
It's so innate to us.
We've just,
You know,
Been hijacked by different kinds of education,
But it's so innate that once you start playing with it,
That approach starts bringing itself into everything you do day to day,
Hands on,
Washing dishes,
Cleaning litter boxes,
Right?
It's a cultivation of that intimacy with the heart.
And it's a feeling that is common to all of us,
But unique to all of us at the same time.
When things get wonky and weird and I don't know what way is up and I think maybe I'm not doing enough and maybe I should rock the boat just because things are too easy,
You know,
Then I come back to that cultivation.
And let myself be reminded through the feeling.
That it's just not over,
It's not even close to over.
We're just getting started.
