Have you ever kept going with a decision simply because changing your mind would feel like admitting you made the wrong choice or because you're worried that changing your mind might somehow make you weak?
It's not uncommon to feel this way.
We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to stand by the choices we've made and changing direction can sometimes feel like we're going back on something that we were supposed to stick with.
But what if we looked at it differently?
What if we recognize that changing our minds actually takes strength and courage,
Especially when it means acknowledging that something that once worked for you doesn't anymore?
I recently taught a yoga class about giving ourselves permission to change our minds,
And it got me thinking about how tightly we can sometimes hold on to the choices we've made.
And sometimes we hold on to a decision simply because we've invested so much time or energy into it.
Maybe we've started to identify with the choice we've made.
Maybe we're worried about what other people will think if we change direction.
Or maybe changing our mind feels like admitting that we got something wrong.
But changing our mind doesn't have to mean any of those things.
Because typically,
When we make a choice about something,
It's based on the information that we have at the time.
And that choice may work for us for a while.
It may be exactly what we needed,
Wanted,
Or believed at that point in our lives.
And then we live,
We have experiences,
We learn more about ourselves,
We learn more about the situation,
Our circumstances change,
We receive new information.
And sometimes with that new information,
We may realize that the choice we made before doesn't fit in quite the same way anymore.
So maybe the question isn't,
Was my original decision wrong?
Maybe the question is,
Does this choice still make sense based on what I know now?
This got me to think about two concepts from the yoga philosophy.
Sādhyāya,
Which is the practice of self-study,
And Aparigraha,
Which is often translated as non-attachment.
Through self-study,
We're continually learning about ourselves.
We're paying attention to our experiences,
Our patterns,
What matters to us,
And perhaps what has changed.
And then there's non-attachment.
Sometimes we can become so attached to a decision we've already made that changing it starts to feel like admitting we were wrong,
Or even like we're questioning something about who we are.
We may hold tightly to the choice simply because it's our choice.
We've committed to it.
We've told other people about it.
Maybe we've invested years into it.
And sometimes,
The longer we've lived with a choice,
The more it can become part of how we see ourselves.
And that can make it even harder to recognize when something that once fit us may not fit us anymore.
But what would happen if we loosened our grip on the need to defend the choice we made before and allowed what we're learning now to inform what we choose next?
I think there could be a lot of strength and courage in being willing to say,
This made sense to me then,
But it doesn't anymore.
Now,
Of course,
This doesn't mean that every time something becomes difficult or uncomfortable that we need to abandon it.
Sometimes staying with something is exactly what we need to do.
There are things that matter deeply to us that require patience,
Commitment,
Perseverance,
And a willingness to move through periods when things are difficult.
But there's a difference between staying with something because it still matters to us and staying simply because we become attached to the fact that we chose it.
And that's where I think self-study becomes so important.
Asking ourselves questions like,
Why am I sticking with this choice?
Why am I considering changing direction?
What have I learned that I didn't know when I made this decision?
And knowing what I know now,
What feels right for me moving forward?
Because maybe changing your mind doesn't mean the first choice was wrong.
Maybe you made the best choice you could with what you knew then.
And now,
With everything you've learned along the way,
You can let what you know today inform what you choose next.
