So what is enlightenment?
So there's a few questions tonight,
Today,
This morning.
What is enlightenment?
Can we actually achieve it?
Can everyone achieve it?
Is it accessible to everyone?
Is it some place in the future or is it here and now?
And what does it entail.
So these are some of the themes that we'll be covering.
Today in this session.
Um.
.
.
So I've got a question to ask you.
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.
Even if you look across many of the so-called modern gurus of today,
There are different perspectives whether it's accessible to everyone.
Or to just some.
So.
Um.
.
.
Perhaps if you like to type in chat whether you think enlightenment can be achieved by anyone or only some.
A few or some people.
If you think Enlightenment is accessible to some people,
Just put some people,
And if you think Enlightenment is accessible to everyone,
Please type in everyone.
Great,
Wendy,
Everyone,
Everyone,
Everyone,
Ken,
Dana-Marie,
Paul,
Everyone.
So,
Great,
Well,
That's great to have that kind of,
Because if you don't believe it's accessible to everyone,
Then it'll be much harder to achieve it,
Right?
If it's only a few.
So,
Likewise,
Much like many of you who've typed in chat,
I also believe that it is accessible to everyone.
But it will require a sense of openness and Openness,
Trust and self-belief that it is accessible.
So you don't close your own door towards that awakening,
That achievement.
There are some people who actually don't believe that they can achieve enlightenment.
It's for certain special individuals like the Buddha or,
You know.
And that becomes an obstacle if you have this kind of belief,
You create that belief,
You create an obstacle towards achieving that awakening enlightenment.
Good okay so we're we're very much on the same page at least with that so uh.
.
.
And and what i'd like to kind of talk about is now what is what what happens when you like Has anyone experienced glimpses of enlightenment?
Can anyone?
Kind of I guess confidently say that they've had glimpses of enlightenment maybe it was fleeting maybe it was only for a very brief moment but there was a sense of deep awakening or connection or something which is beyond This world of forms is kind of an aha moment.
And I think everyone,
Almost everyone.
And I really enjoy seeing the love hearts coming out.
These deep senses of bliss,
Connection.
That may come and go and.
.
.
And and you know I I began to have these kind of moments even when I was in my late teens and and you know It's very it's very pleasant and there's nothing that can really achieve it from Anything you can achieve out in the world that could even get close to it Well one of the one of the The other experiences that overshadowed this was the need to cling onto these very wonderful,
Blissful experiences and glimpses of something far deeper than the mind can conceive and understand.
And these clinging is actually one of the ways to actually not continue to experience it all.
Mask the experience of that awakening.
So i would say ad.
It's very much.
An experience.
That requires surrender to whatever is.
And I'd like to quote a few people that talk about this idea of surrender.
Now let's just look at some of the words that are used for enlightenment.
Like Nirvana.
Has anyone heard the word Nirvana which comes from Buddhism?
And does anyone know what Nirvana actually means,
The definition?
Feel free to type in chat if you know.
So the word Nirvana actually means extinction.
Extinguishing extinguishing the fire the fire of wanting,
Craving and resisting what is constantly wanting to get somewhere.
Because the really interesting thing about.
.
.
Enlightenment is if you're seeking enlightenment.
You're actually actually creating an obstacle towards towards it because you're not accepting it the current condition.
You're craving something in the future.
And this is one of the things a lot of people who want to be on the spiritual path have this constant craving to be somewhere more blissful or more at ease or more at peace And this desire,
This kind of craving to.
.
.
To get somewhere else other than where you are is actually one of the biggest obstacles towards the achievement of enlightenment and awakening.
So that's one of the ironies,
That the more you seek it,
The further away you get from it.
And this is something which I think took me,
Myself,
A very long time,
Because I always thought that maybe the more you seek,
The more effort you have towards that seeking of enlightenment,
The closer you get,
But it was actually the opposite.
And the secret towards it is actually.
.
.
Surrender.
To surrender to what is,
To simply,
Fully surrender.
Except the present condition,
This moment.
Is a pathway,
Is a gateway towards enlightenment rather than seeking something in the future.
And this is something to mind.
Our mind finds it very difficult to understand because we Our mind is kind of designed to always seek something better in the future and that's why we're in constant.
Unease,
A sense of unease towards getting somewhere better,
Somewhere more peaceful,
Not realizing that this seeking itself is causing the imbalance.
Inside us,
Within us,
That causes us suffering and so takes us away from accessing enlightenment or even just peace.
And.
.
.
Some of you may be familiar with.
.
.
Prominent spiritual thinker Krishnamurti.
Who travelled the world 50 years and spreading the deep concepts of spiritual concepts of enlightenment and freedom from suffering.
And one time,
Towards the later part of his life,
You know,
When his followers were gathering,
He said,
You know,
Do you want to know my secret?
Do you want to know my secret?
And everyone was like,
Oh wow,
You never told us your secret.
What's the secret?
And he kind of pauses for a few seconds and then he says,
I don't mind what happens.
And that was his secret.
I don't mind what happens.
And this is something which has a sense of surrendering to whatever outcome that you experience in life.
And And the mind might,
Kind of,
Your mind might start judging this as like,
Whoa,
This is like.
.
.
Does that mean we shouldn't care about anything?
What?
Surrender and not care?
Not care about ourselves,
Other people,
The planet?
And just sit on our butt and let whatever happen?
No,
Absolutely not,
That's not the case.
In fact,
When you have this quality of surrender,
You can have a deeper sense of care.
Now the care complements this surrender.
There can be a deep sense of care for self,
For others,
For the planet,
For relationships,
For society,
And in fact taking positive action constantly.
Towards improving situations,
But also have a sense of surrendering to the outcome,
Letting go of the need for things to be a certain way.
So it certainly can complement,
It doesn't mean you have to have one or the other,
It complements and in fact the quality of your presence will be much higher and so you'll be able to more effectively take positive action because they're not charged with anger and frustration,
Disappointment or even resistance or denial.
Which is what often happens when there is resistance to the reality that's unfolding,
When there is non-acceptance,
There's inner non-acceptance of the realities that are unfolding before us.
There is either the extreme case of denial,
It's like,
No,
This is not happening,
Or the other extreme is deep frustration and anger at what is happening.
And in both cases,
It generally renders us either helpless or ineffective to make positive change happen.
We become either paralyzed or we just don't even look because we just don't want to see it.
So the quality of surrender and acceptance creates a pathway towards acknowledging the reality that is unfolding.
And creating positive change.
So that's.
.
.
Uh.
.
.
I think something I really wanted to share with you in terms of surrender being a pathway to both effectiveness as well as inner peace,
As well as joy and happiness and it's like you can only win in every regard.
So life doesn't have to be hard for you to be effective or achieve.
You can still do it with Non-resistance to the realities that are unfolding before you be totally accepting And that also includes often,
And this might sound contradictory,
But sometimes you might sense resistance within you.
Find non-acceptance.
And the really cool thing is,
You don't have to get rid of the resistance,
You don't have to get rid of the non-acceptance that you find within yourself.
As soon as you accept the non-acceptance,
As soon as you accept the resistance,
You dissolve.
The resistance within.
And this is very,
Very powerful and very,
Very important.
Because you might notice that you're on,
Why am I?
Not accepting the situation so you become resistant to your non-acceptance and you generate more resistance,
You're not actually reducing resistance,
You're increasing resistance by non-accepting your non-acceptance and I hope this makes sense because it kind of sounds a bit strange when I say to accept your non-acceptance within because at some point you need to break cycles of reaction to whatever you're experiencing.
So I'll give you an example.
Let's say One day I wake up,
I feel unmotivated,
I feel like,
Why is life like this?
Why is this happening to me?
I just kind of start complaining.
And becoming bitter or resist life.
So the most important or the one thing I can do in this project instance is to become aware of my my misery and actually bring a sense of kindness and compassion and acceptance towards that.
And by doing that,
I'm dissolving that resistance that I have created within myself.
Instead of saying,
Oh,
You know,
I shouldn't feel this way.
I should be more grateful.
I should,
You know,
Be more positive,
You know.
And by pushing yourself to be something that you are not at that moment,
You're actually generating more suffering for yourself.
Has anyone experienced that?
Has anyone experienced more suffering by kind of feeling like,
You know,
I should feel more positive,
I should be more grateful,
You know,
I've got everything I need,
Why am I feeling miserable?
And you actually create more misery for yourself by.
.
.
By kind of doing that.
Has anyone experienced that yet?
Thank you.
So this is the thing,
In our culture we have this notion of we should always feel grateful and positive and this and that.
And we just kind of make ourselves even more miserable by not living up to this kind of positive attitude that is expected of our society,
Of our cultures.
It should always be happy and positive.
And this is what I'm trying to do.
And hopefully.
.
.
Uh.
.
.
If you can see this,
You know,
What's happening here.
If you have this realization that by forcing yourself to be and think and see you.
Something other than what you are right now feeling and thinking and being you actually magnify suffering.
Now it doesn't mean not being grateful or doing that,
But sometimes it actually is hard.
There may be times where it's just very hard for you to be anything other than what you are right now.
It could be like not feeling grateful,
Not feeling happy,
Not feeling motivated.
And when you bring a sense of acceptance and kindness and compassion,
Towards yourself in those instances and create some space for yourself and say look I'm human I can experience all the myriad I'm to be human.
You will actually are more likely to transcend those difficult situations now don't do that for that sake you know like okay I'm just going to be kind to myself so that I feel motivated so don't try to trick yourself but genuinely accept yourself for being human and create space for yourself.
And this is really important.
This is the art of self-compassion.
It's like really giving yourself the space to be human.
At the same time,
I don't mean like kind of.
.
.
Attach yourself to negativity and just say like,
You know,
I you know,
Just keep yourself in negativity.
What I'm just saying is like give yourself space.
To experience what you're experiencing and then transcend it and move on.
And this notion of non-resistance to experience is very much rooted in Enlightenment,
If you look at all traditions,
Surrender and non-resistance to the reality that is being experienced.
Is very much at the core of enlightenment.
So there's another story I really like which I recently have been thinking about a lot and I read it in the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and it's the story of a monk who was,
You know,
For years he was trying to be enlightened,
You know,
It's like he was seeking enlightenment.
And he just wasn't getting enlightened until a day where he was passing by a butcher And he overheard a conversation between the customer and the butcher.
And the customer was saying,
OK,
Give me the best piece of the meat.
I want the best piece.
Just give me the best cut,
The best piece.
And then Butcher turns to the customer and says,
We don't have any bad pieces.
Every piece is the best piece.
Every piece is the best piece and the monk was enlightened when he heard the butcher saying every piece is the best it's like everything in life if we consider every experience in life is the best and it's what is needed at that moment and we trust that we relinquish the need to control everything that's happening and just trust that what is happening in this present moment is what is required even though sometimes it is painful and it is Difficult.
And you may like to even think back at your experience how challenges in life actually resulted in some transformation or something beyond what you had expected.
It could have been higher levels of resilience,
It could be something more positive happened.
It doesn't have to be some external thing happening,
But perhaps you might like to have a reflection on that.
They can reflect on as like,
Oh wow,
You know,
There was a difficult period,
But then that made me stronger or there was some form of transformation,
Inner transformation that came out of that.
And sometimes it may take years for that realization to take place.
It might not be immediate.
And often when we go through difficult experiences,
We can never see the positive side of it during the time that we're going through.
So.
.
.
So that's a sense of trust that comes with trusting and surrendering to what is unfolding,
And also being empowered at the same time to take action,
To take positive action towards positive change.
Again,
This notion of surrender comes with a sense of autonomy and empowerment.
And the mind finds this idea very contradictory,
Because in one sense I'm saying surrender to the outcome,
But at the same time I'm saying being empowered to take positive action.
And these two are so powerful together.
One without the other almost causes either complacency or suffering so if you take positive action but then you're not surrendering to the outcome you create more suffering for yourself because you're denying the reality that's unfolding before you and if you fully surrender and just say like you know i just surrender whatever happens happens then again you're kind of might fall into this sense of complacency so it's it's a combination a culmination of both states Any questions regarding what I've covered?
It's very general and it's a big topic and there's probably a lot more I can talk about but I just wanted to touch on some of these concepts.
Mainly the relinquishing of control and surrender,
Which is a very important pathway into enlightenment and awakening.
Any questions?
Any comments?
So how do we get there?
Is anyone wondering now what?
Um.
.
.
One of the most powerful practices that many of you may actually be familiar with is mindfulness practice.
So I'm just going to look at questions while I'm talking as well,
Just in case I make sure I address everyone's questions.
Um.
.
.
So Rosa's question,
You mean we need to.
.
.
I'm sorry Rosa,
There is a.
.
.
I'm not sure if that was meant,
But there is a word,
I don't know what.
.
.
I can't make sense of it's a except that there's no control about life.
It's a notion,
It's almost like.
.
.
The mind will find this very contradictory,
That we have influence and control,
Yet we don't.
The mind is like,
What?
How can we have control and not have control?
But actually that is the power of AI.
Combining these two mindsets because at a very deep level you know what I'm talking about.
Your mind might not fully understand the concept of influence and surrender.
The ability to influence but also to Recognizing that we don't have full control if you if you kind of It's often called Janusian thinking.
It's like these two contradictory ideas.
But if you hold these two ideas and live life by recognizing your influence while surrendering to the outcome,
Then you feel both empowered but also at peace.
So it's these two two kinds of ideas of surrendering and taking action at the same time.
And Flavia is asking,
How do you surrender and take action at the same time?
Um.
.
.
The action comes at a very deep level.
Now let me give you an example of babies and very young children.
I think It's not like there are no external motivators for them to take action towards growth and understanding and learning and curiosity.
It's innate.
So our propensity to grow and contribute is already there.
Surrendering is simply allowing us to combine this desire to create positive change for ourselves,
For our planet,
In our relationships.
While also relinquishing the need to think for things to be the way we want them to be.
We accept it as it is.
So we accept things as they are,
Even though we may take action towards improving situations.
Does this make sense?
Because I think explaining it is very complex.
Intellectually is quite challenging.
But when you actually begin to practice it in life,
In real life,
You say,
Look,
I am going to make these.
Take these actions but at the same time i'm just going to trust and surrender to whatever happens just fully surrender now sometimes religion actually comes it becomes a powerful tool so for instance you surrender to god's will like for instance if you believe in god you may say that right if you're if if you are um religious in that sense,
That kind of gives you a peace of mind by taking positive action but also accepting whatever unfolds.
Essentially what's happening is you have a notion of what what needs to be done in life.
While trusting that everything is unfolding as it should.
Because if everything wasn't unfolding as it should,
We wouldn't even be here having this conversation.
Just think about it.
14 billion years ago.
There was a infinite mass and energy density like that exploded.
And created the universe like the stars and galaxies and planets were forged and life was formed and life evolved into what we are today right conscious human beings having this conversation having right so so there is something much beyond the mind that's at play here.
So when we recognize.
.
.
This is what we know today,
Right?
This information actually helps us to recognize the deep intelligence.
And wisdom in the universe.
So that helps with surrender as well.
But it doesn't have to be a cognitive process.
The art of mindfulness or being present or presence is very helpful and this kind of Paying attention to your breath and body is also another gateway to letting go of control and surrendering to what is.
So these are all gateways into enlightenment or awakening.
Another example,
Awakening is a realization of self.
Something that mind cannot really describe.
I can give you a personal experience,
It was part of awakening for me because after that life was never the same.
I did a 10 day silent meditation,
Vipassana meditation.
Every day,
Almost every moment,
For the first six days,
My mind was complaining about why I was here,
What am I doing here,
Why is this happening,
Why am I giving myself such a hard time,
Waking up at 4 a.
M.
In the morning,
Paying attention to my breathing for a whole day,
Repeating it the next day,
And doing nothing else.
No access to my phone,
Internet,
I can't even read or write,
All I have to do is pay attention to the rest.
So the mind just could not stop complaining.
And on the 6th day I realized the mind will just not stop complaining.
So that realization,
That I just realized that just the nature of the mind,
That it just loves to complain,
And I could just sit there and meditate and not worry about my mind doing what it does,
Was very liberating.
It was almost like an aha moment.
It's like,
Ah,
I can just let my mind go and just continue meditating.
And that was a huge shift on that.
It took six days to get to that moment,
But that was a kind of dissociation between this conscious awareness and the mind itself so it's like when you begin to question who you are as in like Who is this consciousness that is observing the mind,
But is not the mind?
Who is this consciousness that is observing the body,
But is not the body?
It has a body.
It has a mind.
But really having that experience,
Not just learning about it or conceptually.
Thinking I'm not my mind,
I'm not my body,
But actually experiencing it first hand.
That is what creates that kind of passage.
For you to go deeper into that state.
Um.
.
.
And,
You know,
Going back to the beginning of today's session is like,
Is that accessible to everyone?
And many of you mentioned that yes,
It is accessible.
So how do we access it is to actually practice presence,
Practice surrender.
And the mind will always try to stop you from doing that.
The mind will always say,
Why?
Why surrender?
Why accept?
Because I want to keep changing things.
I want to make things better.
So the mind will continue to have that conversation with you and you will resist surrendering because the mind is always an obstacle.
So you might need to overcome that obstacle and start with,
And I'm not saying accepting things that are happening outside of you,
So let's not worry,
Of course we need to make things better,
But let's go inside and notice whatever you're experiencing.
And whatever suffering you are internally experiencing.
And creating space for it to be as it is.
You might even just say,
Look,
I'm just going to create this space for five minutes.
Just five minutes and then after five minutes i can get back into resistance mode and just like you know resist my feelings but at least give yourself an opportunity to experience surrender for five minutes to whatever you're feeling,
It's a feeling of Hmm.
Disconnection,
Loneliness.
Anger,
Frustration,
Disappointment,
Whatever it is.
Hurt,
Pain,
Emotional pain,
Physical pain.
Just saying okay i'm just going to give myself five minutes of surrender and then see what happens.
So you can just do that next time you find yourself suffering.
Just remember this today that are you going to give yourself 5 minutes permission to just surrender to your experience and then see what happens after that.
So this is a,
I'm hoping that beyond this conversation,
Because we can talk about this forever,
But unless you actually experience it for yourself.
It will just be some intellectual stimulation,
Some beliefs about what enlightenment is,
What the definition is,
What it is,
What it is not.
Go beyond just the intellectual conversation that we're having today and practice surrender for yourself.
And then make a judgment about it.
Is everyone cool with that?
Who's up for that challenge?
And type in chat if you're up for that challenge to give yourself maybe five minutes of surrender next time you feel confident.
Because actually my first experience was exactly that there was a time where i felt Um.
.
.
I wanted to escape this present moment because it was not nice it was uncomfortable it was painful it was And I wanted to escape,
I wanted to kind of distract myself,
I wanted to get out,
I wanted to talk to people,
I just wanted to distract myself from this.
Feeling that I had and this was a year and a half ago and I said,
Look,
You know what?
I'm going to allow it,
I'm going to give it space,
I'm going to give it kindness.
And I just sat down,
Just like,
Let me be with,
Let me be with this experience that I'm having.
So accepting it,
Paying attention to it.
Awesome.
Thank you,
Flavia.
So try it.
So you need to look for an opportunity where you are trying to escape the present moment.
You're turning the present moment into an enemy.
It's like,
I don't want this.
I want something else.
So look for an opportunity.
And notice that your mind is trying to get you to escape.
It's constant unease,
Trying to get somewhere better,
Somewhere happier,
Whatever it is.
Try this experiment,
I'm just going to sit and accept and surrender for a few minutes.
Okay.
So I'm just going to do what.
Dr.
Ehsan said it in this session and I'm just gonna experience it and see.
And you can come back and say to me,
You know what,
It didn't work,
It was rubbish.
That's fine,
Just come and talk to me about your experience.
We have more sessions,
So follow me on InsideTimer and we have a circle called Return to Source,
So feel free to join the circle and share your experience.
So yeah,
Thanks Paul.
Thanks.
Sandy,
Sometimes things happen in our lives that force us to let go of the result.
Yeah sometimes you just feel It just happens.
Sometimes the pain is so great that you have no choice but to surrender.
And sometimes it is that which kind of gives you the gateway.
The intense suffering and pain is the gateway to surrender.
And then once you surrender you feel peace because you've actually transcended the pain.
Um.
.
.
And you've experienced that,
Sandy.
You're talking about your own experience of.
.
.
Noticing becoming conscious of your mind wanting to escape wanting to run away i don't want this i don't want to be alone i don't want to be Unhappy I don't want to be sad.
I don't want to be you know,
Whatever.
And you just kind of magnifying the suffering and then you say,
You know what,
Look,
Let me sit with this feeling and let me just be with,
Befriend this feeling right now,
Befriending it,
Becoming a friend of what you're feeling.
And that is the gateway.
Absolutely.
Thanks for sharing Linda as well.
It's difficult it's difficult because you know you there is resistance and if you create space now i'm not saying you don't go and You may do things to reduce your suffering.
You may take positive action to reduce your suffering.
You may change your environment.
You may use medication.
You may do other kinds of therapy.
Your doctor,
Your physician,
Your psychologist,
Your therapist will recommend all of those things.
Are good and fine.
And you can still do them in conjunction with acceptance and surrender.
And the acceptance and surrender,
What it does,
It just simply reduces the suffering.
It reduces the magnification of the suffering,
The pain.
And that's what it does.
And the name of the circle is.
I believe,
If I have not forgotten,
Return to source.
Profile.
And now,
Donna Marie is asking if thoughts are illusions.
I mean,
Whether there are illusions.
.
.
Or not,
There are thoughts,
There are like,
You know,
These kind of things coming into your mind,
They come and go.
One thing we know about them,
They're constantly changing,
They're fleeting,
Sometimes they're positive,
Sometimes they're negative,
They come and go.
Now I personally used to resist my thoughts whenever there was some negative thought I would quickly try to change it because Everyone wants to have positive thoughts.
There's nothing wrong with aiming to have positive thoughts,
But becoming obsessed with positive thoughts and afraid of negative thoughts,
That's the beginning of creating more suffering for yourself,
Because sometimes you will have negative thoughts.
All kinds of thoughts.
Negative thoughts about yourself or about other people about whatever and just observing them allowing them to arise and pass helps you not to identify with those thoughts and not cling on to them or suppress them or escape them,
Just here's some thought,
Let it come and go.
Get on with life.
Does that kind of make sense?
So Todd,
I have been trying to stay present recently.
I realize that for most of my life I have rarely allowed that to happen unless it's happy and thrilling.
Absolutely.
And Todd,
You're not the only one.
All of us are going through that.
All of us resist the present moment unless it's a happy moment.
It's a happy moment,
Yep,
All good.
As soon as it becomes slightly uncomfortable,
It's like,
Alright,
Let me escape this,
Do something else,
Call a friend,
Drink,
Smoke,
Go out,
You know,
Whatever.
This is this is it happens so automatically so unconsciously.
That we don't.
Recognize that we are constantly escaping discomfort and not befriending it.
The present moment now there are times of course.
I've you know the times with you know you're in danger You go here in physical danger you of course you got it run escape,
And you know create safety for yourself What I'm saying is internal experiences,
When you have some inner experience of discomfort.
Because of some thought or emotion,
And you're safe,
You're at home,
You're in a safe environment,
Notice that you're resisting it and creating extra suffering for yourself.
And when you notice that resistance,
Create space.
Accept the resistance.
Initially you need to accept the resistance because that's what you're experiencing.
Again,
Remember it's about acceptance of whatever condition you find yourself in.
So initially you find yourself in a condition of resistance and non-acceptance,
So accept the resistance and non-acceptance.
So that you can transcend.
The resistance.
Because if you become non-accepting towards your resistance,
Non-accepting towards your non-acceptance,
Guess what you're doing?
Guess what's happening when you do that?
And creating more resistance.
So it's acceptance of whatever is happening,
Even if whatever happening is this inner resistance and non-acceptance.
The mind is reeling.
What the hell is he talking about?
But some part of you is understanding what I'm saying.
So that part of you that is understanding what I'm saying is the part that you need to use.
To make this happen because the mind is like no but that makes no sense you know I want to resist and I want to change and I like this doesn't make sense it's okay don't resist this judgmental mind that's the whole point is allow it to have these kind of thoughts allow yourself to have these passing thoughts don't take it too seriously You don't need to resist them and you don't need to cling on to them.
Do what you need to do because you know deep inside what you need to do Alright,
So.
.
.
I think that's all I wanted to talk about today.
Are there any final questions?
My mind has been aching when I practice new ways of staying present.
It feels like it's changing but it's painful physically.
So this is.
.
.
This is an opportunity to really tune into the pain.
Again this might sound crazy but like actually creating space for the pane.
A physical pain that gets to a point where you actually need to stop but at least give yourself an opportunity even if it's for a few seconds to create space and just say look I'm just going to Tune in to this.
And go deeper into the pain,
Paying deeper attention to it,
Rather than turning away from it.
Remember,
For us,
Naturally when we experience physical or emotional pain,
We turn away,
Rather than tune in.
So this is the opposite of doing what we normally do is like,
Okay,
Let me see like.
There are times where for instance I may wake up in the middle of the night there's some kind of Physical or emotional pain and I was like,
Oh,
Let me create some space.
Let me tune into this And of course it doesn't mean you don't take Panadol or do something to reduce your suffering,
But at the same time as you're taking action,
You're also accepting the current condition.
Because the current condition is as it is by resisting a pain that's already there,
You're not going to make it go away,
It's there,
So it's almost like you're surrendering to the condition that is already your experience.
Um.
.
.
Yeah.
Sandy,
Thank you.
Well said.
Well said.
It's very nice.
It's like you're almost always just creating space for pleasure and happiness,
But then you're discounting every other emotion that's part of the human experience.
It's like allowing yourself to be human.
We constantly want to just feel positive and that itself creates suffering and dissatisfaction,
Because it's just not possible to always feel happy and positive.
That's not how we're built.
We have a whole myriad of emotions that all human beings experience.
Social media doesn't help because every time you turn on facebook or instagram you just see happy faces and in your mind it's like everyone's happy all the time but it's just that's not reality because no one puts an unhappy face on facebook or instagram no one puts their like you know conflicts that they're having with their families with their friends and take a photo of themselves and put it they only put happy things and that's that's it kind of creates a distorted view of reality um when when we uh look at social media that's why social media is probably Not very good for us.
Paul,
Absolutely.
This PTSD is of course a complex thing but it's creating space for experience.
Of whatever it is,
Eases,
Reduces the intensity.
I remember there was a time I used to wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks.
I would just have panic attacks randomly in the middle of the night.
I would just wake up,
My heart beating at 150 beats per minute.
And I became scared of having panic attacks.
I didn't want to have panic attacks.
It's not a pleasant experience.
So I was like,
Oh my God,
What if tonight I'll have another panic attack?
And so my panic attacks actually increased in intensity.
And frequency just actually got worse because of my fear of having these issues.
Experiences.
Until I learned to just say,
Hey,
You know what?
Panic attacks,
Come whenever you want.
You're welcome all the time.
Just go to bed and it's like come whenever you want.
You're always welcome So my attitude completely flipped.
I was like,
You know what?
Come whenever you want.
I'll just sit with you.
I'll befriend you.
I'll be kind to you when it happens.
And that is what we're talking about here.
You're almost welcoming your human experience,
Whatever that is.
And PTSD is a human experience that you're having.
And befriending that,
Befriending it is also healing it.
This is so key to it.
Doesn't mean it's It's like you're not judging it anymore,
You're not saying it's good or bad.
It is what it is and you're embracing it.
You know that it's just happening.
Now,
Of course,
This is in conjunction of whatever therapies that you may be doing,
But it's also relinquishing the need to resist those experiences when they happen,
They take place.
As I said,
Panic attacks were one thing for me.
And it doesn't mean I never had panic attacks.
I still sometimes might.
But my relationship with my panic attacks has changed.
I have a positive relationship with those experiences.
My physiology hasn't changed.
My experiences,
I may have similar kinds of experiences,
But I.
.
.
Create space for those experiences.
Thank you so much,
Paul.
I really appreciate that,
Knowing that.
This helps and this is this is really keys is when we change our relationship with with our experiences when we create a.
.
.
Healthy relationship without negative feelings,
Negative thoughts,
Negative with pain.
When we befriend those experiences.
Those experiences may still happen.
But when they happen,
They don't bother us,
They don't make us suffer so much because we welcome them,
We allow them to come and go.
Awareness.
Acceptance.
Absolutely.
And that's what it is.
Um.
.
.
It's just that total.
Total acceptance,
And this is something I've learned only in the past.
You know,
Gradually over the past 10 years,
But really at a much deeper level over the past one and a half years.
So it's not been a very long time,
It's only been about a year and a half when I recognize I'm constantly trying to escape the present moment,
Like there's this constant unease about right now,
Just somewhere better,
Somewhere happier.
And then when I realized,
Okay,
Hang on,
This moment is the best moment.
Remember that story I said about every piece is the best piece?
It's like this moment is the moment that I'm going to be here and now,
Completely tuned in,
Is the best moment.
Right here and right now exactly.
And then your life transforms,
Like seriously,
It's a huge transformation in your life where the present moment becomes the future.
The source of deep inner peace.
Beyond the experience.
Deep deeper essence and identity beyond form and beyond experience.
So I really hope you access this by using the power of presence and surrender.
And and realize how how you can still take positive action with higher quality and effectiveness while also reducing the suffering that we cause ourselves through non-surrender.
