Let Go Of What You Can't Control!

This talk is a gentle reminder that we can care deeply without trying to control people, outcomes, or the past. Learn to identify what is and what isn't yours to carry and to redirect your energy toward the choices and boundaries you can control. Essentially, this is a simple to talk to help you let go, come back to yourself and live with more peace!

Transcript

Here's the memo. Stoicism is an ancient practical philosophy founded way back in 300 BC. Its basic tenet is that self-mastery, Emotional resilience, Wisdom, And true happiness come from virtue rather than external circumstances. And the Stoics were reminding people thousands of years ago that some things are within our control and some things simply aren't. Actions, And how we respond to what happens. But we can't control other people. We can't control the past, What someone thinks of us, Whether someone stays or leaves, Or how a situation ultimately turns out. And yet, How much of our energy do we spend trying? We replay conversations. We imagine different outcomes. We try to get people to understand us, Change their minds, Apologize, Or behave differently. We want our kids to make the choices we think are best. We want someone to love us, Choose us, Stay, Or change. And when they don't, We can get stuck analyzing everything, Wondering what we could have said or done differently. We all do this. So what's the solution? Well, In my life, Sometimes I ask myself, Amy, What's actually yours here? And I have to remember, My choices are mine. My words are mine. My boundaries are mine. The past? Definitely not mine. And the future? Nope. As much as I want it to be, It's not mine either. Freedom in that. Maybe you relate. Maybe you've communicated, Explained yourself, Tried to make things right, And another person still doesn't respond the way you hoped they would. At some point, You get to ask yourself, What is mine to do now? Maybe it's setting a boundary. Maybe it's having an honest conversation. Maybe it's making amends. Maybe it's walking away. Or maybe it's recognizing and giving yourself a lot of credit that you've done your part. And now you get to allow the other person to have their own process. So let's review so you have something tangible to do next time you find yourself spinning. First, Name what you're trying to control. Then ask yourself, Is this actually mine? If it is, Choose a small action you can take. If it isn't, Take a breath and practice releasing it. You might even say to yourself, I've done what I can here. The rest is not mine to manage. Direct your attention to something that is yours. Your next choice, Your own life, Your own peace. Because your peace does not have to depend on someone else finally understanding you. Your worth doesn't depend on someone else choosing you. And you don't have to spend your life trying to make reality different than it is. You can care without controlling. You can love without holding on. And you can let go of what isn't yours to carry. We only get one life. Like one of my best friends says, There's no other life coming. So you get to spend less time fighting what you can't change and more time accepting what is and actually living. And that's your memo.