So hi everyone and thank you for joining me.
I feel deeply honoured to hold space with you today as we explore one of life's most profound teachers,
Grief and loss.
If you've found your way to this meditation,
Chances are you're walking through one of life's most challenging territories.
Perhaps you've lost someone you love,
Experienced the end of a friendship or a relationship or are grieving the loss of a dream,
A job or a version of yourself that no longer exists.
You may also be supporting someone else through their grief journey.
Whatever brings you here,
You are so welcome.
Now let me share something that research is now confirming what ancient wisdom traditions have always known.
Grief is not just an emotional experience,
It's a whole body journey.
Now scientists are discovering that our bodies literally hold and store the experience of loss.
We might feel tightness in our chest,
Knots in our stomach or persistent aches in our shoulders.
And these are all signs,
Possibly,
Of grief being held within our physical being.
In my work and in my own journey,
I have witnessed when we learn to meet our grief with our whole being,
Not just our minds,
But our bodies,
Our breath and our heart.
Something profound shifts.
We don't move past our grief,
But we rather learn to carry it in a new way.
Now let's explore this.
Grief is love with nowhere to go.
It's the other side of the coin of deeply caring.
In many ways,
Our grief is a testament to how deeply we have loved and how much something or someone has mattered to us.
And recent studies also show that meditation and mindfulness practices that help us live in the present moment where our grief resides,
Allow us to become more aware of our pain so we can begin to heal it.
Now what's beautiful about somatic approaches to grief is that they recognize something that our culture often forgets,
That healing doesn't mean forgetting or getting over our loss.
The idea is not to erase the pain of loss.
It's about acknowledging the physical manifestations of grief and finding healthy ways to release them so we create a more integrated healing journey.
Your body is wise.
It knows how to hold sorrow and how to release it.
It knows how to honor what has been lost while still choosing life.
So today we are going to learn to listen to that wisdom,
To feel what needs to be felt and to discover that even in the depths of our grief,
Your body can be a sanctuary of healing.
In many traditional cultures,
There are abundant rituals and community support for grief.
And in our modern world,
We've often lost this art.
But your body remembers,
Your heart remembers and the earth beneath you remembers.
That grief is sacred work.
Loss opens us up to the full spectrum of what it means to be beautifully and vulnerably human.
Now,
We are not here today trying to fix anything or to make our pain go away.
We are simply learning to breathe with it,
Move with it and allow our bodies to be our allies in this sacred process.
Now,
What I want you to know before we begin this,
There's no wrong way to grieve.
Your timeline is your timeline.
Your process is your process.
Some days,
Grief might feel like waves crashing over you.
Other days,
It might be a gentle ache,
A quiet missing.
All of it is welcome.
All of it is holy.
Take a moment now to honour yourself for being here,
For choosing to show up for your healing and for trusting that even in the middle of loss,
There is a path forward that honours both your grief and your loss.
So let's begin this journey.
Find yourself in a position where you can feel held and supported.
Whether you are sitting,
Lying down,
What matters here is that you feel safe enough to be with whatever arises.
Now,
Let your eyes softly close or simply soften your gaze downward and begin by feeling the surfaces that support you right now.
The chair beneath you,
The floor under your feet,
The earth beneath it all.
You are held even when it doesn't feel that way.
You are held even when it doesn't feel that way.
Just breathing that in.
Take a moment now to acknowledge that you are here.
You have survived every difficult day up until this point.
Your body has carried you through storms you thought will break you.
Your heart has kept beating through the worst of your pain and this is no small thing.
Place one hand on your heart,
Left or right,
And the other one on your belly and feel the warmth of your own touch.
Your body caring for itself even in the middle of sorrow.
Now,
Let's create a sacred space around us.
Now,
Imagine that this time is held in a bubble of compassion.
A space where all feelings are welcome.
Where there is no rush to feel better or different.
Where you can simply be exactly as you are.
Right now.
In this space you might invite in the presence of those that you've lost if that feels comforting.
Or you might simply rest in the knowing that love transcends physical form and the bonds of care and connection continue even when the body can no longer exist.
Take three conscious breaths now allowing each exhale to help you settle more deeply into this moment into your body and into the truth of what is present right now.
Breathe in,
I am here.
Breathe out,
I am safe to feel.
And now breathe in,
I am held by love.
Now very gently I invite you to bring to mind the loss that you are carrying.
This might be the death of a loved one end of a relationship a health challenge or any ending that has touched your life.
Something that feels manageable right now anything that shows up for you anything that you feel ready to bring up to be with.
Notice what happens in your body as you bring this loss to mind.
There is no need to think about it or tell the story.
Just notice.
Start with your body and your immediate somatic experience.
Do you have a heaviness somewhere?
A tightness?
An emptiness?
An ache?
A fluttering?
All these are your body's ways of holding and honoring what you've lost.
Now instead of trying to change these sensations I invite you to simply breathe with them.
Imagine that your breath can reach places where grief lives in your body not to fix or heal but simply to acknowledge.
I see you I feel you and you belong here.
I see you I feel you and you belong here.
If you feel tightness in your chest breathe into your chest.
If there's heaviness in your stomach let your breath touch the heaviness.
If your throat feels constricted just allow your breath to visit your throat.
Now see if you can sense the love that lives underneath the grief You might place your hands wherever you feel your grief most strongly and let your touch be like the hand of a loving friend.
You're not trying to take the pain away but simply saying I am here with you in this.
I am here with you in this.
I am here with you in this.
And notice that as you breathe with your grief and as you touch it with kindness something begins to shift.
Not that the pain goes away but that you discover you are bigger than your pain and you can hold it.
And I'll say this again you are bigger than your pain and you can hold it.
You can be with it you can breathe with it.
See if you can sense the love that lives underneath the grief because grief is what love becomes when it has nowhere to go.
Feel how your sorrow is actually a testament to how deeply you have cared and how much this person or this thing or this dream mattered to you.
Let yourself feel that love.
Let it be present alongside your sadness.
We don't have to choose one or the other.
They can co-exist.
Love and loss can co-exist.
Gratitude and grief can co-exist.
Sorrow and happy memories can also co-exist.
Now sometimes grief needs to move through us rather than just be held within us.
So we are now going to explore some gentle movements that can help your body express what it has been carrying.
If you are able begin with some gentle movement of your shoulders let the shoulders rise up towards your ears and then gently release them down.
Now you can do this several times.
Let the shoulders rise up towards your ears and gently release them down.
Imagine that you are literally letting go of the burdens that you may be carrying.
Now place both your hands on your heart and begin to make small gentle circles.
It doesn't matter in which direction with your hands over your heart.
Now this is an ancient gesture of self-soothing and let's say this to the heart as you make the circles.
I care about your pain.
I care about your pain.
I care about your pain.
Now if it feels authentic you might let a sound emerge now.
A sigh a moan or even tears.
Your body knows how to express grief and in many cultures wailing is honored as a sacred expression of loss.
Your sound whatever it is is perfect.
Just allow yourself to express now through a sound that you may want to make.
Now we'll use the breath to help your body release what it's ready to let go of and this is not about releasing your memories.
This is about releasing the tension the energy the stuck patterns that grief can create.
Take a deep breath in now.
Hold your breath for as long as it's comfortable for you and then we'll try and forcefully exhale through the mouth and we'll do a few more rounds of this breathing in through the mouth hold at the stomach and then forcefully breathing out through your mouth.
As you're doing this imagine that you're breathing out any heaviness or simply any energy that feels stuck or stagnant.
Just continue this for several more breaths letting each exhale be a small release a small letting go.
Now let's do a different kind of body scan one that traces the love that remains and the connections that transcend physical form.
Now starting with the top of your head starting with the top of your head imagine that the love that you carry for what you've lost lives here too.
Feel how your memories your care and your appreciation are held in your mind.
Let's move to the throat now the place of expression.
Feel how you can still speak their name tell their story and share what they meant for you.
Dropping down now into the heart your beautiful heart this is where so much love is held.
Feel how your heart carries forward all the love that you've shared all the joy that you've experienced together and all the ways you've changed by knowing them.
Your arms and your hands they have touched they have held and they have created things in honour of your love.
Feel the strength in your arms that can still reach out to help others and create beauty in the world.
Now your belly and your centre this is where your intuition lives where you can still feel the truth of your connection that transcends physical form.
Now your legs and your feet they carry you forward in life not away from your love but in honour of it.
Every step that you take can be a step that honours what you've lost and what still continues.
In your mind's eye now imagine a beautiful place where you can honour what you've lost.
This might be a garden a quiet room a sacred grove or anywhere else that feels peaceful and special to you.
And whatever comes up for you now in this space imagine creating something beautiful in honour of your loss.
You can light a candle you can plant a flower you can write a letter or simply sit quietly with a photo.
Let your imagination guide you now.
From this sacred space in your heart now have the courage to speak to what you've lost.
Share whatever needs to be shared love,
Regret,
Forgiveness,
Anger,
Gratitude or simply saying I miss you.
I miss you.
I miss you.
The space that you're in right now you may receive a message back not necessarily in words but in feeling.
What does love want you to know?
What does the essence of what you've lost want you to remember?
Often those that we've lost want us to be happy to live fully and to remember them in joy rather than only sorrow.
Just feel into your own message that might be available to you right now.
If you need more time in this space you're very,
Very welcome to pause this meditation and spend a bit more time processing or sitting with what may have been or what may have shown up for you.
As we begin to close our time together place both your hands on your heart once more.
Proof that life continues love continues make yourself this commitment I will carry my love forward in a way that honors both my grief and my life.
I will remember that grieving is loving.
Feel how you can hold both now.
The sadness of your loss lives within me the celebration of having loved also lives within me and feel how your body can be a container strong enough to hold both the grief and the joy missing and the gratitude sorrow and the hope.
Notice that something has shifted in our time together maybe it's a softening maybe a sense of being less alone maybe a recognition that you can be with your grief without being overwhelmed by it.
Your body knows how to grieve your heart knows how to love through loss trust this wisdom that lives within you As we prepare to return to our day,
To our night take a moment to appreciate yourself for this sacred work it really takes courage to feel to show up and to keep your heart open when everything hurts.
Now begin to bring gentle movement to your body wiggle your fingers and your toes roll your shoulders,
Front and back and let your body know that it's safe to return to the world.
Please remember healing doesn't happen all at once what feels like a backpack filled with lead eventually lightens up grief doesn't disappear but it slowly starts to transform it finds a resting place in the back of your heart where it can sit quietly allowing you to honour the love that you also carry while still engaging with life fully.
You might carry this journey's energy with you by placing your hand on your heart throughout the day and simply remembering these words I am love learning how to live with loss I am love learning how to live with loss I am love learning how to live with loss When you're ready now there is no rush you can open your eyes Thank you for letting me walk alongside you in this sacred work may you know that you are held you are loved even in loss you are never ever truly alone Thank you and Namaste
