Learning From The Classics Podcast: Stoic Little Women

This track is a recording of my weekly LIVE PODCAST, Learning from the Classics, dated June 6th, 2025.

In this LIVE session, I will relate prompts from Classic Literature to the challenges we face every day. There is a certain sense of security in understanding that some struggles are universal and not personal to us. In such novels, there is also a reconciliation to be had with souls we cannot and will not ever meet, but who teach us so much.

All LIVES are available week to week on a playlist.

New
Sleep
Bedtime
story
Folklore
Relaxation
Literature
Historical context
Emotional healing
Grief
Social dynamics
Domestic life
Nostalgia
Reunion
Emotional reunion
Grief management
Storytelling
Imagination
Fantasy
Characters
Classic literature
Culture
Adventures
Moral lessons
stoicism
women
female empowerment
inner citadel
inner circle
control
gratitude
emotions
relationships

Transcript

Literature is therapy, That's right, And that's what we do. We immerse ourselves when things are difficult in something that is far removed from what we're going through and we use that as therapy, Which is why these Friday sessions are as important to me as I hope they are to you. I'm going to start quite promptly today, As I said, We are talking about Little Women today. Little Women is the latest series on my tracks, Just started it, And it's about five girls, So let's go on to my notes, I won't see your comments now, But I'm going to begin. Okay, Right, I apologise for girls. So, We're going to talk today about Little Women, And we're going to talk about, We're going to, As we do in every live, Refer back to this idea of stoicism, And what I'm going to do is, Within the novel, I'm going to pinpoint moments of resilience in the face of differing opinions. So you've got four sisters, And as with any family, They are going to have a difference of opinion in certain situations, And they are going to have to navigate that, And we ourselves have to navigate relationships all the time, Every day, And what I'm doing is I'm referring to the novel and I'm relating it to our experiences and vice versa. But before we deep dive into the novel, I'm just going to recap what stoicism is, For those of you that maybe are joining for the first time, Maybe you need a reminder, And I just find it helpful as well to check in myself with the principles, And this Friday session is also, For me, A healthy reminder of coping mechanisms, Of the structure by which I can lean on when times are difficult, And I hope you can do that too. So we've got this stoic inner circle, Okay, We're building a fortress around our inner self to protect our guiding principles from external influences, That's what we're doing. So we know our principles, We know what we are willing and not willing to do, And this stoic inner circle, And I have referred to it as a bubble, Is protecting those from external influences. What are external influences? They are other people, Other external environments, Things that are happening to us that we cannot control. So think of it as an inner citadel, That's what we have, It's a source of resilience, It allows us to remain steadfast in our values despite the challenges that we face externally. So essentially this is about protecting our inner peace, Maintaining our inner peace, And cultivating this strong sense of inner strength, Independent of anything else that's going on. It requires focus and at times of great challenge it requires more focus. When things are difficult we need to spend more time focusing on our inner values, Our inner value system, Not less. When things are difficult we need to become less distracted. I like to think of it as a colour, So the colour, My inner citadel is a sunshine yellow because I am naturally a positive sunny person. External colours may be anything, Anything, They may be red, They may be green, They may be violet, They may be black, But they, Because I have an inner citadel, Okay, And this bubble of protection, They cannot tone down, Dilute, Stain my yellow. It's the best way I can put it, It's a bit like a sunflower. The heart of the sunflower, I protect. My seeds of intent are mine. They remain golden. They, I refuse to let those be tarnished. That's my job. And the harder I work on that, The brighter they will become. And this is what we need to do, Especially as women, Because we are hardwired to be more reactive, More prone to be affected by external forces. Why? Because we are, Biologically speaking, We are designed to nurture, Give birth, Protect, Not ourselves, But others. So of course we're going to be more beholden to what's going on around us, We're going to feel that, And the reason I am promoting this idea of an inner citadel, Okay, This inner circle of choice, Is because I believe that it's the way forward for us to be able to gain strength from that, And so still be able to function as a person who can nurture, Who can support, But not be broken by that. And if you are an empathetic person, Which we are hardwired to be, There are only so many external forces that can pile up before you are close to breaking point. This is a survival technique, Make no mistake about it, This is survival. That's what we're talking about here. And it just so happens that there are so many women who have written about this, Albeit through narrative, From the generations before us, And we can refer to that and say, That makes sense, They went through that too, They understand, We can learn from that. And this is what these Friday sessions are about, They are lessons. It is, I am a trained teacher, So it is more my style to deliver a lesson, That's what I do. It doesn't suit everybody, But I'm hoping the people who do turn up, That resonates with them and with you, And you can gain something from that. These are life skills. So we've got this in a Citadel, And we're focusing on the positivity, And if we focus on the positivity, Obviously we're going to attract similar energy. Now we cannot, To a degree we can choose the people around us, Right, But if we have children, And relationships and family relationships, And parents and siblings and so on, We cannot choose that, We cannot choose those people, They are chosen for us. So we cannot always surround ourselves by that. And if they're not positive, In their outlook, There's only so much positivity we can give, Without seeing the circle break down. So we have to be very protective of that, In a positive way. It's a fine balance, And this is what Stoicism originally was designed for. Balancing all of these external forces, So that people, And I'm going to call them people even though they were men originally, Could cope in highly demanding situations. And my argument is, It is highly demanding. To be a woman is highly demanding, It is. So, I am using these principles, And relating them to us as women. And I'm not the first person to have done that, I've mentioned the Blue Stocking Group before, And of course before that, Obviously behind these male Stoics from centuries ago, There were women practicing the same thing. And I argue that women naturally are more Stoic, Because we have to balance the needs of many different forces, As a default, Because we are relied upon to do that as women. It is expected of us. So we're fortifying our own mind and values to remain resilient in the face of adversity. We have to accept what's within our control, Our thoughts, Actions and judgments, And understand what is not. We don't reject it, But we understand the external forces are not within our control. So that is freeing. Why is it freeing? Because if you're hardwired to think, I've got to fix this, I've got to help that, I've got to enable this, I've got to support that, The moment you understand, There's not really anything I can do about that. I am going to be my Stoic self, And I'm going to offer knowledge and understanding, But it stops there. So, What is the inner citadel built on? And this is what these talks are about, It's built on knowledge, And that's what we have to do, We have to empower ourselves with knowledge, Understanding, Virtue and judgment. And that's what this literature teaches us. There are lessons in these books. In the tracts I read, There are lessons, And I choose the tracts for that reason. And just to go back, The tracts that we were talking about today, Little Women, You can see the playlist, And you can, Let me just do one of these things here. Oh, No, Sorry, That one there. So you can, If you are new to what I do, You can follow me on here, Just by clicking that. And I haven't got the Little Women up there yet, Because it's only just gone out but you can find me on the premium tracts for Little Women. So let's, Let's crack on. Okay, So let's look at Little Women. It's a Victorian novel written by Louisa M. Alcott in 1868. So, As I have said before in previous lives, The books I look at are Georgian, Edwardian, Victorian. Many of them are around that time. Pre-Georgian, The women who were writing at that time were reliant on male voices, Male literature. So from that time, You have a lot more women writing. And that's why I, Many of the stories that I focus on are from those periods onwards. So what's the story about? We've got four sisters. You've got Meg, Who's the oldest, She's 16. You've got Jo, Who's 15, The tomboy. You've got Beth, Who's 14, And Amy, Who's 12. So they're all teenagers. And of course, Many powerful novels are written about children of that age, Who are going through significant development and facing many of life's challenges. So it's a coming of age plot. The sisters discover who they are, And they gradually become to understand themselves, Their flaws, Their strengths, Their temptations, Their noble desires, Within a social context, Offering certain opportunities and barring others. So we have to remember this is the Victorian age. So obviously, There were many restrictions on young girls. Each of the novels, Girls struggles to balance desires for life with what life demands. And each succeeds in finding a personal resolution through growth. And that's what we're trying to do here. We're trying to grow. So when you listen to the tracks, You will come to understand the lessons that they learn. And these are also lessons for us. That is the point. Okay, That's why Literature with Therapy is the subtitle of these lives. Okay, So we start off the book, The story opens with the sisters sitting around during the Christmas season, Wishing life were different, Their father's away. And they're from poor family and they're with their mother. And they realize that, Oh, Life's quite tough. We have to work, We have to do chores, We have to do things that other girls don't have to do. We're not very well off as a family. Isn't that not very nice? And of course, It's Christmas time. So they are immersed in the idea of attaining something, Being rewarded with something, Celebrating something, As we all are that time of the year. Spurred on by Beth, They decide to shoulder their burdens without complaint to become the little women their father encourages them to be. So for Meg, Challenges arise because she compares her life with the lives of more privileged girls. And that's a natural thing to do, Isn't it? Because what you do at that age is you come to understand, Ah, This bubble I've been in, I've been quite inward looking. And you open your eyes to what's going on around you and you come to understand that actually, There's more to this than just my family. And oh, Now I can compare with other people. And many of my friends are from wealthy families. They have luxuries I don't have. And of course, This is relatable to us. And Meg has to care for young children. That's what she does. Because obviously, They need money, They need to survive. So she has a job. Now, This Victorian time period assumed that caring for children came naturally to all women. But Meg finds this work really difficult. And she's envious of those up the social ladder. But obviously, As the book progresses, She changes her perspective. So she's a guest of a rich family, And she soon comes to discover wealth can lead to snobbery and laziness. And she becomes aware of other families that are struggling. And she realises, I should, I need to practise gratitude for what I have, Even if it's very little. I need to understand my place. And at the moment with what I have, And accept that, Because this is where I am now. Eventually, She comes to abandon the idea that she should marry for wealth. And she embraces the challenges of life and falls in love with somebody who they are, Rather than what she can receive from them. So that's how she develops for Beth, The second daughter. She's very quiet and introspective. She really doesn't like attention. She carries her load of chores, But it exhausts her. She's physically more frail than the others. But she always does the right thing, Even when she must do it alone. Unfortunately, It costs her dearly. But her attachment to Joe, Who is the tomboy, Helps her become a better version of herself. Sisterhood and female influence were in 19th century America, The natural realm of women. Yet her frail health and timidity foreshadow her inability to endure the rigours of childbearing and motherhood. So how is she developing? She's developing because she looks to somebody, Her older sister Joe, For inspiration. She's physically weaker, But Joe is very resilient. He's very devil-may-care. We can do this. And she takes courage from that. Then we have Amy, The sister that is least like Beth. I really like Beth. Anyway. So she is more vain and shallow. She's pretty enough to charm her way through life. But when Beth gets very sick, She has to confront her self-interested nature. And this forces her to recognize how, You know, Frivolous her ideas are. So that's a reality check for her. And Joe is the biggest character, Really. Because she reflects aspects of Alcott's own personality. She writes, She's a bit rebellious. She's ill at ease with social expectation. She's one of the trailblazers. And she is plagued with anger. So you think about all the emotions that are going on here, And all the different personalities, They've all got to try and muddle through and get along together. But of course, They're very different in their outlooks. So the point of this story is they're all learning from each other. And that's what we must do. So even though all these external things are going on around us, We can take lessons from those. Whilst protecting our own virtue. And it's really important to take lessons from what's going on around us. It doesn't mean we need to let it affect us, But it means we can learn from it and we should keep our eyes open to that. So Joe quickly comes to realize that her mother, Who often feels angry too, Has channeled this emotion into service to others. And that's her big lesson. So she's a big character, And she learns quickly. Yes, I feel these strong emotions that I channel them. And each of the girls is channeling by the end of the book, Their emotions so that they are not having outbursts, Which we spoke of last week. It's popular opinion today that, Well, You know, You need to express everything and you need to be able to, You're quite poor within your rights to have that outburst. My argument against that is that that is actually affecting you. So the idea that you lose control of your emotion at some point and just have a huge outburst is actually taking something away from your inner citadel. It's breaking it down. It's important to express emotion, But it's so much more important to channel it into something you can. So for example, If it's heightened anger, It's really important to have an activity, For example, Exercise where you can channel that anger into something positive. This is all about us coping, Not how we appear to others, But how we show up for ourselves. Okay, And there's nothing worse than having an outburst and walking away and think, Why did I do that? I've let myself down. Stoicism is about protecting ourselves, Protecting our higher selves, Maintaining our, Or hoping to attain our higher selves. Right, So they're the four sisters. And let's have a look at some of the lessons we can take from the story. So as you, As the series goes on, Progresses, And you come to hear the actions and reactions of the sisters, Just as we did with Anne of Green Gables, Another playlist, And just as we did with What Katie Did, Another playlist, A Little Princess, There are so many stories that we can refer to. One of the lessons is, Instead of being reactive to something, Be proactive. So we don't get to decide how or what we feel, We don't. It happens, And it's our job to recognise that and say, Ah, I'm having a sensation, I'm feeling like that. I understand that, And I'm going to feel like that, I understand that. So now, What am I going to do with that? How am I going to respond to that emotion? Am I going to be reactive to it, Or am I going to be proactive to it? To begin our day to say, I'm going to make this a great day, Is being proactive, Because what you're saying is, I have control of how my day goes. It's empowering. We are saying, We have the control of how we start our day. I choose to start in a positive, Optimistic direction. Okay? And as that day progresses, And chaos will occur, We can control how we respond or react to the situations. We feel it, For example, Referring to last week, An anxiety attack I had, And knowing, Right, This is what's happening. No, It's not hot in here. My palms are sweating for a reason. My heart's beating fast for a reason. Suddenly, I am under attack. For my emotions, What do I do? I register that. Okay? With my understanding, With my reason. That I'm basing all my decisions on. I understand that and I say, Right, This is what's happening to me. Obviously, I have to go with it. There's no way I can control that. But what am I going to do in order to be able to manage the symptoms, So that it doesn't end up in me collapsing, Fainting, Screaming, Any one of those things? What am I going to do? This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to sit back. I don't have to. It's okay. I'm in a room full of people. That's okay. I'm just going to step away. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to step away. I'm answerable to no one but myself. I'm going to step away. I'm going to take a deep breath, And I am going to get myself physically into a space until I know that these emotions are subsiding. Why? Because I am in a situation, A formal situation, And it is not appropriate for me to expose myself, Metaphorically speaking, To everyone in that way. That's me taking control. That's me protecting myself. That's me saying, It's okay, Steph. You're going to be okay. You need to get out of here for a minute, And that's okay. That's taking control in a positive way. And as soon as the symptoms subside, We use our intelligence. We listen to ourselves, Not our brain, But we listen to what's happening emotionally, Physically, Biologically to ourselves, And we say, I can feel the symptoms subsiding. I am regaining control. Once I have regained control, I know that this is only a short space of time, A moment in time. I can go back. I can do this, And then I can leave. That's one example. I try to use an example of my own every week. Many of my examples from the past would have been anger. At the moment, It's grief, But obviously, You're going to have different emotions happening to you at any one given time. And it's within your power, Is my message, To control that. Okay. So when you're proactive, You are saying, I choose, I understand, I have to listen to what's going on in me, And I have to make a choice with the information I have as to what's happening and what I do, Which is what happens in little women. So when you're being proactive, You own up to your thoughts. You own up to your weaknesses. You understand that you are compromised. You either acknowledge the effort you've made or acknowledge that you haven't made much of an effort, And that's why you're in that state, And you gauge your progress on that. You do not judge. You do not point the finger. You understand. You come at yourself from a place kindness. That means you've got to be real with yourself. And this is what the Marsh family learned to be real with themselves, To understand, I am human. I am fallible. I am not. I don't have all the answers. Now, When clashes occur within the family, And this story is because people are being reactive. They're not being proactive. They're being reactive to each other and themselves. They're reacting to situations through their emotions. They're blaming, Or they're resentful, Or they're insecure, Or they're angry. They are reacting. So what we have to do, And that's what part of this knowledge we're trying to take away today, Is to understand how to be proactive rather than reactive. And that comes from a place of understanding. Again, As I say every week, Know thyself. Learn about yourself, About your limits, About who you are, About what you are willing to do and what you're not willing to do, About how you react. Oh, I remember this emotion. I always do that when this happens. Now, What am I going to choose to do with that? So a common statement made if you're being reactive is, There's nothing I can do about that. That's just the way I am, And they've ruined my day, And they just weren't fair to me, And life is so difficult, And everyone's so awkward, And you're blaming external forces for your behaviour. That is being reactive, And that's what children do, And that's why this happens in this story, And the clashes between the sisters take place, Because they are being reactive to each other. It takes insight to be proactive. You have to understand what you're doing as a person first, And that takes knowledge. It doesn't just happen. You have to be aware of the signs. I'm feeling like this, But you have to switch it and say, This feeling is happening to me. What shall I do with it? You are not your emotion. It's something that's happening to you. It's external to you, And you have to choose what to do with that. Now, In a safe situation, Let it out. Punch up a couple of your pillows. Yell and scream and fight, But in a given situation that you know is a safe situation, And many situations are not that. Okay, So this, I can't do this. I have to do that. It's always happening to me. That's reactive, And if we're faced with someone, As the master sisters are, From time to time with each other, In a heightened state of reactivity, You can't reason with that. We have to understand then that behavior is not about me. That's about them, And we use our knowledge as to how to respond to that. It doesn't matter what they're saying. That emotion is something they are reacting to. It's not us. It's not our emotion. That's what's happening. That's external, Right? So with Jo and Amy in this story, They have different values and desires, As well as those challenges of growing up, Navigating societal expectation. So Jo, The writer, Is driven by her passion for literature and her desire to be independent. Amy, The artist, Is focused on her artistic talents and aspirations for a more glamorous life. Jo doesn't want to be confined by traditional female roles or societal expectations. Amy wants to be admired and respected, And it's very important to her for everyone to know, I am the face of a traditional female role. So there's going to be a clash there. The difference in values and goals leads to rivalry, Occasional conflict. Jo feels that Jo is overly independent and unconventional. That is a common clash. You will meet people that do not have the same philosophies as you. And it's up to us when the reactive clashes occur to decide how to handle that. And if we are coming from a stoic point of view, We are going to be proactive and we are going to choose not to react to the emotion that is directed at us. So Meg, One of the sisters, She represents a conventional path, Which causes some tension between her and Jo, Who again is striving for independence. And she has an expectation that Jo really should, You know, Do what the others do, And she should really play along. And Jo won't. The saving grace with this story, The wonderful thing about this story, Is despite their differences, The sisters ultimately learn they must support each other's endeavors and personal growth. And they learn that they're going to grow and to appreciate that they will grow in different ways and they will have different dreams. But essentially, As long as they're comforting each other through difficult times, They must agree to differ. So this novel is showcasing the importance of family support and yet the relevance of different personalities and different aspirations. So there's harsh rivalry at times. You can be alike with someone in your passion, Similar in your reactive state if you're feeling angry, And yet have completely different philosophies. And it's up to us to decide how we exhibit that emotion, How we channel it into something that we can use proactively. It's a huge message. I don't have sisters, But for those of us who do, It can be challenging. You know, There are a lot of clashes that happen between women, Because women are such forces of nature. We have to decide how to protect ourselves and also, From a place of understanding, Choose to support in a managed way that is not going to be detrimental to our well-being. Amy says, It's lovely weather so far. I don't know how long it will last, But it's going to be a long time. I'm not afraid of storms, For I'm learning how to sail my ship. That's quite a huge statement for a child. Jo says, Women, They have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition and they've got talent just as well as beauty. I'm so sick of people saying love is just all a woman is fit for. Amazing. That's why everyone loves Jo. Beth says, It's just like the tide is going out. It goes out slowly, But it cannot be stopped. She's understanding that some things are going to be beyond our reach and we cannot stop that and we have to let it go. So many, This novel's embodying many of the key principles through its characters' actions and their development, Self-control and temperance, Resilience and acceptance, Focuses on what is on their control and also duty and service and moral development. So as I said at the beginning of this live, These lives are all about personal development and using examples in literature to guide us. I'm going to go back to the comments now. I hope you gained something from that. And again, I would ask you to check into my tracks, Not just Little Women, But if you look back, All My Lives is recorded. So I have a playlist of all these lives, All these lessons, And check in with those and listen to the tracks that are related to them and you will come to see the lessons these great classic authors are teaching us. I'm going to look at the comments. I'm going to go up a bit now. Okay. Good afternoon, Inga. How are you? Hi, Julia. I love Little Women too. And I think, Judging by the location of many of you, It will be a welcome playlist because it's Louisa M. Alcott is an American author. Hi, Robin. A stoic circle, What a good image for support. Yes. Yes. That circle of protection there, That little. . . Yeah. Okay, Mary. Oh, Thank you, Mary. Well, Listen up. Oh, She's probably not there now. But if you do have to just leave, You can always, As I say, The live is updated, Is uploaded, The recording of it about a week later. Thanks, William. Wow, It's nice. I like wow. Thank you for your honesty in sharing such a difficult episode and how you cope. Yeah, I like to use, You know, I like it to be allegorical to a degree because it's so important that we relate what we're learning to real life for us in the 21st century. In a citadel, Being strong and supportive and empathetic without being broken, Yes. And at times it's so difficult to maintain. But without it, Without being a citadel, How I don't know how people cope. There's so much comfort in value and learning from the experiences of women in literature. Yes. But for the time you spend choosing those, Thank you. How different they are from each other and the influence they have on each other. Yes. And what we can learn from them. Thank you, As always, Joe. I don't have sister, So I've actually learned a lot from this novel. Just found you. Thanks for the insight. Thanks, Christine. That's good. Take a look at my other live recordings and hopefully you're listening from now. She's an American author and her home is available for a tour in Massachusetts. All right, Julia. OK. I'd like to see that. And Christine, The author is Louisa M. Alcott. This is the author of Little Women. So for everybody who's still here, Thank you so much. I shall see you again next time. And 3 p. M. Next week, 3 p. M. GMT. And we will be looking at. She says I've already forgotten. Just check the bottom of my notes. What Katie did. What Katie did is a playlist I already have out. And yeah, Take a look at that, Too. It's written a little bit later. Thank you so much, Julia. Thank you very much. That's very appreciated. And onwards and upwards, It's going to get easier, As things always do. It's just a moment. So I shall see you next time. Thank you so much for coming. Bye for now.

Reviews

Thank you for the catch up, one I missed live. Good talk, I like the idea of inner citadel. 🙏🍁🎶