Welcome.
Before we begin,
Allow yourself to arrive.
Feel the support beneath you.
Notice your breath.
Just as it is.
Let your shoulders soften.
Your jaw,
Relax.
And your hands rest a little more easily.
There is nowhere else you need to be.
Nothing you need to solve.
Just this moment.
Perhaps you've heard me say in yoga classes.
Notice where you can soften.
Usually.
We're talking about the body.
Today.
I'd like to explore something a little different.
What if we could also soften?
Of the mind.
Have you ever noticed?
That when life feels uncertain,
The mind immediately begins searching for certainty.
It starts planning.
Analyzing.
Rehearsing conversations.
Imagining every possible outcome.
Not because it wants to make us suffer.
But because it wants to keep us safe.
And just notice what happened in your own body.
As you heard these words.
Let's experience this physically together.
I'd like you to run a wave of tension through the body.
Inhale slowly.
Deeply.
And Paul.
And then tighten every muscle in your body.
Clench your fists.
Screw up your face.
Tighten your buttocks.
And then when you need to exhale.
Soften.
And let go.
Let's do that one more time.
Inhale.
Smoothly.
Deeply.
And then hold the breath.
As you tighten your grip within the body.
And then as you exhale,
Softening your grip.
Giving in to gravity.
Allowing a little more space.
Sometimes the body lets go.
Before the mind does.
Life is uncertain.
It always has been.
And yet so much of our energy is spent trying to make Uncertainty Feel certain.
As though.
.
.
If we think hard enough.
Prepare well enough.
Or worry long enough.
Perhaps we'll finally feel safe.
Perhaps will finally feel in control.
And at peace.
But perhaps we don't suffer because we care deeply.
We suffer because we mistake certainty.
For peace.
Have you ever noticed?
That sometimes the harder we try to control the future.
The less peaceful we become.
Yoga has been exploring this question for thousands of years.
Not by asking us to eliminate uncertainty.
But by gently changing our relationship with it.
One of the teachings of yoga is called Raja.
It is often translated as attachment.
Many people think attachment simply means becoming attached to people or possessions.
But Iago points to something much deeper.
Raja is the tendency to believe.
That lasting happiness lies somewhere outside of ourselves.
That once life finally unfolds the way we hope.
Then we'll be happy.
Then we'll relax.
And then we'll fill complete.
I'll be okay.
Once I get that promotion.
Once the relationship improves.
Or once the test results come back.
Once life feels more certain.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying these things,
Relationships,
Success,
Comfort,
Security.
They all bring joy.
Yoga doesn't ask us to reject them.
But it gently reminds us that because all of these things exist in a constant state of change,
They cannot become the foundation of lasting peace.
When we believe our happiness depends upon something outside of ourselves,
Our peace rises and falls with our circumstances.
True happiness.
The kind that remains steady.
Even as life changes.
Can only be cultivated.
From within.
Not because life is always easy.
But because we discover there is something within us that is deeper than our changing circumstances.
Without even realizing it.
We begin to carry an invisible weight.
The weight of trying to make life unfold.
Exactly as we hope.
The weight of trying to control every outcome.
And the weight of believing we must hold everything together.
Before we can finally rest.
Before we continue,
Just notice your body again.
Notice the shoulders.
Are they carrying more than they need to?
Notice your jaw.
Your hands.
Your breath.
Our bodies often reveal that we're gripping long before our minds recognize it.
Without forcing anything.
Simply allow.
One slow exhale.
Inhale.
Deeply.
And Paul.
And gradually release the exhalation.
And notice if anything softens.
Imagine you've been carrying.
A heavy backpack all day.
Hour after hour.
Eventually,
You stop noticing its weight.
Because you've become so used to carrying it.
Then someone gently says,
You can put it down now.
The relief isn't because the world has changed.
It's because you've stopped carrying something you no longer needed to hold.
Softening our grip on outcomes can feel much the same.
It isn't giving up responsibility.
We still care deeply.
We still may.
Thoughtful decisions.
We still prepare.
The only thing.
We begin to loosen.
Is the belief that our peace depends.
Upon controlling how everything turns out.
And that can feel like laying down a tremendous weight.
Yogurt calls this.
Vairagya.
Non-attachment.
Not detaching from life.
Not becoming indifferent or caring less.
But learning to hold life more gently.
Imagine holding a handful of sand.
The tighter you squeeze.
The more slips through your fingers.
But when your hand softens.
The sand simply rests there.
Perhaps life is asking the same of us.
Not to stop caring.
But to soften our grip.
Life will always contain uncertainty.
There will always be things we cannot predict.
People we cannot change.
Outcomes we can't guarantee.
But perhaps peace was never meant to depend upon certainty.
Perhaps peace grows each time we soften our grip.
On how we believe life should unfold.
The next time you notice yourself worrying,
Take one slow breath.
And quietly ask yourself.
Am I gripping the outcome?
Then,
Perhaps remember these three simple steps.
Notice.
Soften Return Notice,
Am I gripping the outcome?
And then soften.
Your jewel.
Your shoulders.
Let the exhale become a little longer.
Without feeling forced.
And return.
To what is actually here.
In this moment.
You don't need to solve the future right now.
You only need to meet.
This moment.
And perhaps ask.
.
.
What would it feel like?
To soften.
Just a little.
Not abandoned.
Not avoid.
Not stop caring.
Simply softened.
Maybe the outcome doesn't change.
Maybe uncertainty remains.
But something within you.
Begins to soften.
Your breath softens.
Your shoulders.
Your mind becomes a little quieter.
And perhaps with practice.
We begin to discover.
That peace doesn't come from knowing what happens next.
But from trusting ourselves to meet whatever comes.
Where there is softness.
There is space.
Where there is space.
There is choice.
And where there is choice.
There is freedom.
We don't need to master non-attachment overnight.
Every time we loosen our grip.
Every time we release one expectation,
Every time we remember.
That our happiness isn't waiting somewhere out in the future.
But something we can begin cultivating within ourselves.
Suffering becomes a little lighter.
And freedom quietly grows.
As we come to close.
Bring your awareness back to your breath.
Feel the gentle rhythm of each inhale.
And each exhale.
Notice your shoulders.
YouTube.
And just see if there's one place.
Where you can soften your grip.
And perhaps.
.
.
There is somewhere in your life.
With that same gentle softening.
Is being invited.
Not because you've stopped caring.
But because your peace matters too.
May you continue to dream.
May you continue to love deeply.
May you continue to show up wholeheartedly.
For your life.
And as you do,
May you remember.
That peace is not found in controlling every outcome.
Peace grows each time we soften our grip.
On how life should unfold.
