I know as a high-functioning,
High-achieving,
Busy woman you have lots to do and lots to get done and you have a big full life.
And so often we are driven by these high-achieving,
High-performing parts of us that we like.
They make us successful,
They make us feel accomplished,
And they get things done.
But these are just parts of us.
And while often these parts are in the driver's seat and they've been there for a long time,
And we know that they can make us really successful.
Often you can have a sense that actually this is really tiring as well.
This is really hard being high achieving.
Sometimes I love it and sometimes I come into this awareness of like,
I wish I could live in a cabin or a teepee right now and just bathe.
But whenever you think about that,
Or giving up,
Or stopping,
Or slowing down,
Or taking a day off,
What you'll most likely notice is that the high-achieving,
High-functioning parts say,
No,
No,
No,
We can't do that.
We can't rest.
We can't be that person that lives in a teepee or barley.
We've got things to do.
And so here what I'm pointing to is this inner battle between two parts of you,
The driving,
High-achieving,
Busy,
Successful,
Doing part of you.
And this niggling little sense of,
Okay,
This is tiring.
I might want to take a break.
This isn't very fun anymore.
And often,
While this actually needs some attention,
This part will be much louder.
This part is really driving the show for you.
And this part gets a little word in once in a while,
But it often gets pushed down by this part because we've got things to do and I'm high achieving and everyone relies on me and I can't take a break and I've got kids.
And you stay busy.
So I know as an experienced registered clinical counsellor that while there may be a part of you that wants to drop this part or rest a little bit,
It's going to put up a big fight.
So we don't want to start a fight with that part and say,
Okay,
I want you to take a year off life or I want you to completely give up all of your goals and never try and be successful or get anything done or hide in a cabin and ignore everyone.
Cause that part is obviously not going to let you do that.
But what you can do and what I want to offer you today is you can take mental breaks from these parts.
And that's what I'm going to guide you through today.
It's never going to completely go away unless something drastic happens because you love that part.
You want that part and you want to achieve your goals.
But to find balance,
Let's see if we can give this guy a little bit more attention and peace.
So I'm encouraging you to work with the principle of balance rather than letting this guy win the battle or this guy win the battle.
We want to have the capacity to hold space for both and dance freely a little bit more between each of these parts.
So this is so you're not always high achieving success,
Will go,
Go,
Go.
And you're also not giving up on everything and hiding in a treehouse in Bali and not achieving anything,
Because neither of those is going to get you what you want in life.
So the spirit of today's practice is love.
Balance.
Okay,
So I'm going to guide you through a quick mindfulness practice that you can do in your lunch break while driving to work when you feel really overwhelmed in the bathroom.
And I'd encourage you to try this regularly.
So what we're going to start with doing is holding an awareness of the busy,
Doing,
Go,
Go,
Go part of us.
And just noticing as we start to breathe deeply this part and this impact of this part of our life and just Allowing yourself to say,
Yeah,
This is,
Whew,
This has really been in the driver's seat.
I have been going since the moment I woke up in anxiety this morning.
Just take a few slow,
Deep breaths and just allow that part to be there and be grateful for that part.
Gosh,
It has helped you achieve so many wonderful things.
Just allowing that part to be there.
Acknowledging that it's often in the driver's seat.
And then what I want you to come into an awareness of is just the tiredness and exhaustion of that part.
So just honoring and saying to that part,
Hey,
Gosh,
I know you work really hard and I'm so grateful because you help me achieve so many things,
But I have a sense you're really tired.
And there's a big.
.
.
Longing for you to rest.
And I know you won't let me rest forever,
But what I'd like to invite you to do today is just to rest for 30 seconds or a minute.
And usually what happens is that part goes,
Oh yeah,
I am so tired.
And I can do 30 seconds.
I can do a minute.
I can't do forever or take a whole week off.
So we're negotiating.
So just invite that part to rest and then promise we'll get back to being busy and high achieving.
Let's just use our lunch break to the best of our ability.
So then just invite that part to take 30 seconds off doing,
30 seconds off thinking,
Planning,
Strategizing,
Being available.
Giving to others.
Take a minute of the mental labor.
And you can imagine that your phone is off and that you're in that treehouse in Bali or by a beach and no one's there.
You're in a safe place that feels restful and protected for you.
Just use your creative imagination to take you to that place now.
I promise you will come back quickly.
And when you get to that creative or visual place,
Just allow your body to rest a little bit.
I just want you to stay in that mental peaceful.
Visualization where no one needs you,
You don't have to perform,
You don't have to do,
No one can send you an email here.
And then let your body be tired,
Let your body rest,
Let your body lie on the beach or the bed or the hammock that you've chosen.
Let your body unwind and let the ground or the hammock or the bed take the full weight of your body.
Deep breath and just allow every cell of your body to relax back.
Clear your mind,
We'll come back to the thinking,
Doing,
Planning soon.
Three more breaths and then we'll close our practice and leave this beautiful visualization.
Deep breaths.
Bringing as much sensory information and detail of this beautiful,
Safe and restful place as much as you can.
Final breath.
Beautiful.
So we're going to start to come back to the present moment now.
Just notice how you feel about coming back to your day and then slowly and visually just bring yourself back from that beautiful,
Peaceful location.
Back into the present moment in the room that you're in,
In the place that you're actually sitting on.
And just allow that busy protector part that is driving to just wake up and come back.
And you'll probably feel really tired and it'll be a little less motivated,
But that's nice that you've given it a break.
Again,
Being grateful for that part,
For all that it achieves.
Bring balance into allowing it to rest because with wisdom you know that this part is really tired and it's exhausting and it takes a lot of energy for you to be in this part all the time.
So while you cannot take an entire week,
Month or year off life,
Using this practice you can take a bit of a break each day which is going to allow this part to soften and rest and connect more to your inner self.
Relax your nervous system and bring more balance into your life while also not getting into a battle that's too extreme of trying to get rid of this part or give up everything in your life.
Stay here in practices for as long as you can.
Really appreciate you joining me in this exploration which comes from parts work or internal family systems therapy which is a beautiful modality myself and many of my practitioners are very passionate about.
I hope you have a beautiful and restful day with your two parts.
Be well,
Take care,
And I'll see you soon.
