ADHD, Autism & Executive Dysfunction: You're Not Lazy

06:32

ADHD, Autism & Executive Dysfunction: You're Not Lazy

by Karelin Wadkins

Rated

5

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

40

If you've ever thought, "Why can't I just do this?" you're not alone. Many adults with ADHD, autism, and other forms of neurodivergence experience executive functioning challenges that make starting, organizing, prioritizing, and completing tasks feel much harder than they appear from the outside. In this video, we'll explore what executive dysfunction actually is and why it is not a problem of laziness, motivation, or not caring enough. We'll look at how the nervous system, overwhelm, perfectionism, and past experiences can impact our ability to begin tasks and follow through. You'll learn five compassionate strategies to work with your brain instead of fighting against it, including shrinking the starting point, reducing friction, borrowing support from others, practicing self-compassion, and celebrating small steps. Your brain is not broken. Sometimes it simply needs a different kind of support.

Adhd Self Compassion Nervous System Celebration Neurodivergent Support Task Initiation Celebrating Small Wins Nervous System Regulation

Meet your Teacher

Karelin Wadkins

Fair Oaks, CA, USA

Meet your Teacher

Karelin Wadkins

Fair Oaks, CA, USA

Transcript

Have you ever had a day where you knew exactly what you needed to do? You wanted to do it. You had every intention of doing it. Maybe it was answering an email, Folding laundry, Making a phone call, Or starting that project. And yet, Hours passed, And the task stayed exactly where it was. And somewhere along the way, You started wondering to yourself, What's wrong with me? If you've ever had that experience, Especially if you have ADHD, Autism, OCD, Or identify as neurodivergent, I want you to know something. You're definitely not alone. And you're probably not lazy. Today, We're going to talk about what executive functioning means, The challenges that happen, And why they happen. I'm also going to share five gentle strategies that can help your brain when it simply won't engage. I shared these in a recent live, Part of my Neurodivergent Live series, And you guys seemed to really respond well to them, So I thought I would share that in a short video here today. Executive functioning is like the management system of our brain. Is responsible for helping us start and shift between tasks. Organize information, Prioritize, Plan ahead, Regulate our emotions, Manage time, And hold information in our working memory. Most people assume that executive functioning is equated to intelligence, But it's not. It's also not about motivation. You can desperately want to do something and still find yourself just not able to begin. That can be one of the most frustrating parts. For many of us, The difficulty isn't knowing what needs to happen, It's bridging that gap between intention and action. You know, You care, You want to, Your brain just isn't cooperating. So we often think that executive dysfunction means that our brain isn't working. I actually think it's more accurate to say that the brain is trying to protect you because your nervous system is constantly asking one question. Is this safe? Sometimes that safety question has nothing to do with our physical danger. It might be asking, What if I fail? What if I forget something? What if it's overwhelming? What if I don't know where to start? What if I can't finish? And your nervous system hears uncertainty. So instead of moving into action, It moves back into protection. Sometimes that protection looks like distraction. Sometimes it's scrolling. Sometimes it's cleaning something else completely unrelated. Sometimes starting at the task without even touching it. And sometimes doing absolutely nothing. So from the outside, It looks like avoidance. From the inside, It often feels like being stuck with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. Unfortunately, Many of us learn to respond to that stuck feeling with criticism. I should be able to do with this. Everyone else can. I'm just lazy. I'm wasting my life away. The problem is that shame almost never improves our executive functioning. It actually increases our stress levels and stressed nervous systems become even less flexible. So instead of asking, What's wrong with me? I'd invite you to experiment with a different question. What might my nervous system be needing right now? That question can change everything. So let's talk about the five strategies. Number one. Shrink the starting line. So don't set yourself up with a task that you have to finish. Just ask yourself to begin. So not, I need to clean the entire kitchen. Instead, I'm going to walk into the kitchen. Not, I need to write that entire report. But instead, I'm going to open the document. Our brains often mistake beginning for completing, So we need to separate those two things out. Once you've begun, Momentum often naturally follows. Two, Reduce friction. Sometimes the problem isn't motivation. Is that invisible obstacle. Too many decisions, Too many steps, Too much activation required. Can you put everything you'll need all in one place? Lay your clothes out tonight. Open the documents before tomorrow. Write that phone number down. Reduce the number of decisions that future you has to make. Borrow another nervous system. Humans regulate each other, And that's one reason why body doubling works so well. Sometimes it's easier to begin when another person is quietly working beside you. This could be a friend, A partner, There's online co-working sessions, Or even just telling someone, I'm gonna spend the next 10 minutes starting this task. Connection often creates activation. That's a skill that we use in our household all the time. Practice compassion before accountability. Imagine these two different voices. The first says, What is wrong with you? And the second says, This is really hard today. Which voice makes your body soften? Compassion isn't about lowering expectations. It's about reducing threat. And when your nervous system feels safer, Your brain becomes more available for problem solving. Last but not least, Number five. Celebrate starting. Most of us only celebrate finishing. But neurodivergent brains know that starting can be the hardest part. So if you open the email, Celebrate that. If you made that appointment, Celebrate that. If you put your shoes on, Celebrate it. Momentum grows through your achievement. Your brain needs evidence that beginning is rewarding. So if there's one thing I hope you take away today, It's this. Executive functioning challenges are not a reflection of your worth or intelligence. They're not evidence that you're lazy. They're not proof that you don't care. There is a sign that your brain may need support rather than criticism. So, The next time you feel stuck instead of asking. Why can't I do this? Try asking. What would make this feel just a little bit easier to begin? Sometimes that's all your nervous system has been waiting for. And remember. Small steps still count. Gentle beginnings matter. And you deserve the same compassion you so freely offer everybody else. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I look forward to seeing you in the next video or at one of my NeuroDivergent Lives, Which comes up once a month. Take care.