Welcome to your meditation on softening the self-blame.
A gentle invitation for you to begin to meet the part of yourself that believes criticism will keep you safe.
Please take a moment to gently settle into a comfortable position,
Getting out any last minute fidgets,
Shifting.
Before simply allowing yourself a few moments of stillness.
Taking a deep breath in.
And a gentle sigh out through your mouth.
For these next few moments see if you can allow yourself to simply be here.
You'll be allowing your eyes to close,
Softening your gaze.
Knowing that there is nothing that you need to accomplish during this meditation.
Nothing you need to get right You don't need to make yourself relax.
Just notice how your body feels here.
And when you are ready.
.
.
See if you can bring to mind a moment when you noticed yourself turning inward with self-blame.
It might be a conversation you keep replaying,
Something you said that you wish you had expressed differently,
A mistake,
A decision that you questioned.
Or a moment when you find yourself thinking,
I should have done better.
Why didn't I see that coming?
How could I have let that happen?
You don't need to go deeply into the memory,
But see if you can recognize the part of you that knows this experience.
You might notice it in your thoughts,
You might feel tension in your chest,
Tightness in your stomach.
In your body a sense of urgency to work it out.
Or you might not notice anything at all.
And that's okay too.
See if you can recognize this as the part of you that is experiencing self-blame.
You might gently say to this pot,
Silently,
In your mind,
I notice you.
I notice the way you have learned to respond.
I notice how quickly you internalize.
You look for what I could have done differently.
And instead of asking this part to stop or telling it that it shouldn't be this way,
See if you can allow even just a moment of curiosity.
Notice space between you and this part.
If the part feels very close or intense or difficult to connect with,
Just simply acknowledge that.
A part of me is feeling a lot right now.
And give yourself permission to take this slowly.
Even just a small moment of connection,
Of presence,
Of acknowledging this part of you is enough to begin a new relationship with it.
And then just be here for a moment.
And when it feels right,
See if you can turn your attention towards this part.
And from a space of curiosity,
See if you can ask,
What are you afraid might happen if you don't blame me?
There's no need to force an answer.
You might notice a thought,
A feeling,
Sensation.
Simply just listen to what's here.
Whatever you know to see if you can meet it with that judgment.
You don't have to decide whether it's right or wrong.
Simply beginning to understand that there may be a reason as to why it learned to work this way.
Why it learned to protect you through self-blame.
And maybe to understand this part just a little bit better,
You might ask,
What are you trying to protect me from?
And whatever comes through,
See if you can really receive it Really acknowledge and let this part know that you hear it.
And perhaps for some of us,
Self-blame began much earlier in life.
Something that we learnt when we were young.
And allow the possibility that there is the part of you that learned to turn pain inwards when it was trying to find a way to feel safe,
To stay connected.
If it feels right,
See if you can ask this part,
How old are you?
How old is the part of you that has been carrying the belief?
That if things go wrong,
If you make a mistake,
It can cost you love,
Acceptance,
Safety,
And so it internalizes and blames you.
When things don't go the way we plan.
And maybe acknowledge if you are getting an answer,
The age,
The face,
If it's from a particular memory.
From a place of warmth,
Compassion,
Understanding,
Can you offer it some words?
Maybe gently letting it know that it doesn't have to carry this alone anymore.
We can see the pain,
The worry.
We can acknowledge the way that it is trying to protect you and it is working so hard to keep you safe.
Perhaps you can imagine sitting beside this younger part,
Or the part that carries self-blame.
Let it know that you're here.
That you're listening.
And that you're going to stay here.
And if that imagery doesn't feel right.
That's okay too.
Simply place a hand on your chest or your stomach somewhere that feels comforting.
And just acknowledge,
Acknowledge that there are these parts of you that are trying to help you,
That are trying to keep you safe in the only way they know how.
And the final question for you to ask is,
Is there anything that this part of you needs to feel heard,
To feel seen,
To feel even just a little bit safer?
And once again just listen for the answer and receive what it shares.
And then see if you can acknowledge.
And if you can,
Is there a way that you can give this part of you what it needs?
Taking a deep breath in.
And a gentle sigh out.
Take a moment to just notice how you feel towards this part of you.
Perhaps it feels a little bit softer,
Maybe you feel a little bit more connected.
Or maybe it hasn't changed at all.
Just allow the experience to be.
And really let this part know.
That we think it.
For trying to protect you.
That it doesn't have to stop.
Perhaps we can find a new way to be in relationship with it.
Because there will always be moments where we wish we had handled things differently.
There will always be experiences that we cannot control.
And we don't need to ask this part to change,
To go away.
But really let it know that we understand.
That we're willing to listen.
That we're not here to fight it,
But to welcome it.
Taking another deep breath in.
And a gentle sigh out.
As we begin to bring this meditation to a close.
Before you come back.
At the present moment,
See if you can just take a second maybe placing a hand on your heart.
And thank yourself.
Thank these parts for coming in.
And thank yourself for taking these moments to connect.
Beginning to notice the sounds around you,
The weight of your body doing some gentle movements perhaps as you carry on through the rest of your day.
You can bring with you the simple reminder that you can learn from this without turning against yourself.
You can connect with the part of you that uses self-blame.
You can be here in relationship with it.
Gently opening your eyes.
Taking a final,
Deep breath in.
.
.
And gentle sigh out.
Thank yourself for taking the time.
Connect.
