Stop Leaving Yourself Out | A Talk On Self-Love

We’re often so good at giving love, patience, and grace to everyone around us—but how often do we offer that same kindness to ourselves? This talk offers a different way to think about self-love. It’s not about loving everything about yourself, feeling confident every day, or repeating affirmations you don’t believe. It’s about learning to stay on your own side, especially on the days when loving yourself feels difficult. You’ll be invited to notice how you speak to yourself, consider what you truly need, and ask one simple question: Would I say this to someone I love? Self-love doesn’t have to be another thing you get right. Start small. Stop leaving yourself out. And save a little of the love you give so freely to everyone else…for you.

Transcript

I want to ask you something. When was the last time you gave yourself the same kindness you so easily give to everyone else? Really think about that for a second. Because most of us are pretty good at loving other people. We check in on them. We encourage them. We remind them of who they are when they forget. When someone we love is struggling. We don't expect them to have everything figured out. We say things like. . . Give yourself some grace. You're doing the best you can. Don't be so hard on yourself. And then somehow, We turn around. And give ourselves the exact opposite. We criticize, We compare, We pick ourselves apart. We replay the thing we said. The decision we made, The way our body looks. The thing we still haven't figured out. And sometimes we talk to ourselves in a way we would never speak to someone we love. So I want to talk about self-love for a few minutes. But maybe not in the way we usually talk about it. Because I think we've made self-love into this ideal that we're supposed to wake up every morning, Look in the mirror, Love everything we see. Feel confident, Say a few affirmations, And suddenly we've mastered loving ourselves. But that's not real life. There are going to be days when you don't feel confident. Days when who are disappointed in yourself. Days when you don't particularly love what you see in the mirror. Days when you question your choices. Days when you wonder if you're doing anything right. And I think those are actually the moments when self-love matters most. Not when loving yourself is easy. But when it isn't. Because maybe self-love isn't about loving every single thing about ourselves. Maybe it's deciding that even on the days when you're struggling, You're not going to turn against yourself. You're going to stay on your own side. Think about someone you really love. Maybe it's your child, Your partner, Your best friend. Someone who means everything to you. If they made a mistake, Would you decide they weren't worthy of your love anymore? If they gained weight, Lost their confidence, Changed direction, Or admitted they had no idea what they were doing. Would you love them less? Probably not. You'd remind them that they're human. You give them grace. You tell them to stop being so hard on themselves. You might even remind them of all the good things they can't see about themselves in that moment. So why is that same grace sometimes so difficult to give to ourselves? Why are we the one person who has to earn it? Maybe self-love looks less like standing in front of the mirror and saying, I love everything about myself. And more like sane. I made a mistake, But I'm not going to tear myself apart over it. I don't have to feel in my body today, But. . . I'm not gonna punish it. I'm overwhelmed and instead of calling myself lazy, I'm going to ask myself what I need. I don't have everything figured out. And that doesn't mean I'm failing. That is self-love too. And there's another part of this I think we sometimes miss. How often do you leave yourself out of your own life? We make sure everyone else is okay. We check in, We show up, We remember, We help, We encourage, We make room and sometimes the person who gets whatever is left over is us. So I want you to ask yourself something. If I treated myself like someone I genuinely loved? What would I do differently today? Not someday. Today. Maybe you'd rest without feeling like you had to earn it. Maybe you would stop picking apart your body every time you walked past a mirror. Maybe you would say no to something you really don't want to do. Maybe you'd ask for help. Maybe you'd forgive yourself. Or maybe you'd do something simply because. It makes you happy. Or maybe you just changed the way you talk to yourself. It doesn't have to be huge. And please don't turn self-love into another thing you think you have to be good at. Start small. The next time that voice in your head says, You should have been further along. You look terrible. You messed that up. Everyone else is doing better. Than me. I want you to pause. And ask yourself one question. Would I say this to someone I love? If the answer is no. . . Maybe you don't deserve to hear it either. Try something different. Give yourself a chance. The response you would give someone you love instead of I should have this figured out by now. I'm figuring it out. Instead of What is wrong with me? Maybe. I'm having a hard day. And instead of. . . I'm not in love. Maybe simply. . . I'm doing the best I can today. Because self-love doesn't have to begin with. I love everything about myself. Maybe it begins much smaller. I'm learning not to abandon myself. I'm learning to stay on my own side. I'm learning to listen to what I need. So take this with you today. You don't have to love every part of yourself every single day to practice self-love. You don't have to feel confident all the time. You don't have to have yourself completely figured out. Just start noticing the moments when you leave yourself out. And when you catch yourself doing it. . . Come back to yourself. Be someone you can count on too. Because all that love you've been giving everyone else. . . Save a little for you. You deserve. To receive it too.