This meditation consists of affirmations,
Reminders,
And mantras for healing from narcissistic abuse.
It may be helpful in moments of vulnerability and to strengthen your resolve to care for yourself.
Some of these statements might be more relevant to intimate or romantic entanglements.
Some may not resonate with you,
But that's okay,
It's taking this meditation as a whole and letting go of anything that doesn't fit for you.
I invite you to begin by settling into a comfortable posture and feeling where your body is in contact with whatever furniture or surface is supporting you.
Settling into that plane of contact and surrendering your weight to the earth,
Feeling supported and taking some nice deep cleansing breaths.
A deep breath in through the nose followed by a long smooth breath out as you inhale arriving here in this moment and as you exhale letting go of tension or tightness or whatever you can let go of that doesn't serve you.
One more deep breath,
Really letting go and letting your body find a natural breathing rhythm.
As you take in these words,
I let go of the fantasy that I can change this person and embrace the reality that I can only change myself.
I will not allow someone else's brokenness to drain me or drag me down.
What was said and done to me was never personal or unique.
I forgive myself for confusing empathy with enabling.
I acknowledge that I have been in relationship with my ideas and fantasies about who this person could be rather than with the actual person.
I can acknowledge the seed of goodness that I believe exists at this person's core without losing sight of the destructive realities of their personality.
It's not my job to excavate another person's heart.
Fantasizing about this person is just habit energy.
I choose not to indulge.
I choose to put my energy and attention in places that better serve my well-being and the well-being of others.
I treat myself and teach others to treat me as those who love me most would want me to be treated.
I go with my gut and my intuition,
Not my conditioning and habit energy.
I am gentle with younger versions of myself who lacked the experience and hindsight I have now.
I forgive my younger self for getting involved in this situation.
I am still intact and whole.
The suffering of this situation has not touched my core.
What if everything I've done and experienced was exactly what my soul needed to grow?
I am not alone in experiencing this kind of situation and the feelings that go with it.
May I and all others be free from this kind of suffering.
I need not seek this person's approval,
Attention,
Or affection to be good enough.
I'm already enough exactly as I am.
What I have been looking for outside of myself has been within me all along.
Every time I choose not to get pulled into thinking about this person,
My brain is rewiring towards healing.
I don't have to react or think that way anymore.
I'm not that person anymore.
Seeking contact with this person is inviting turmoil into my life.
No mud,
No lotus,
I am in the process of rising above it all and blooming magnificently.
It hasn't been all for naught.
My heart is wiser now as a result of what I have experienced.
May this situation be a catalyst for tremendous growth.
I step out of my story and into presence.
My worth has absolutely nothing to do with getting this person's attention or affection.
When caring and kindness are supported by a backbone of wisdom,
They become superpowers.
I let go of the idea that I can save this person and focus instead on saving myself.
I forgive myself for ignoring the red flags.
Allowing this person to mistreat me doesn't serve anyone.
It only teaches them that their behavior is acceptable.
I affirm that I use all of my experiences to grow.
When this person comes to mind,
I wish them well from a safe distance with wise boundaries and carry on.
I resolve not to romanticize a situation in which cruelty is present or to downplay the devaluing aspects of the relationship.
I curate with care and wisdom the thoughts I allow into my head.
It's not my fault that they're that way and it's not my job to fix them.
I give myself the gift of my own kindness and compassion.
I say no to the devaluing energy,
Not out of anger or reactivity but as an act of fierce self love.
I allow myself to be where I am right now and love my intention to heal more fully.
I believe consistent action rather than empty promises and charming words.
I choose to take back my power.
What happened to me wasn't fair and it wasn't my fault,
But healing is my responsibility and my gift.
When the addictive urge arises,
I empower myself to do something different.
I make choices that will benefit my future self.
I am not responsible for this person's feelings.
I am not to blame for their failures or problems.
It is not my job to fix this person or to mend their life.
Because I love to feel peaceful,
Empowered,
And expansive,
My thoughts,
Speech,
And actions are aligned with my deeper self.
Instead of being influenced by a compelling narrative,
I trust my gut.
When I cling to this relationship,
I am not free to attract healthier ones.
This person's accusations are confessions.
What they say about me is actually a projection of their own faults.
I don't take personally their blame or praise.
Through challenges,
I discover my resources.
I have the courage to honor and express my deepest truth.
What's hard to accept was a stepping stone in my human journey.
I forgive myself for being human.
I cannot love this person into being a better person.
A new,
More empowered chapter begins when I discover my true worth and stop trying to get it through someone else.
I resolve to stop making excuses for this person's behavior.
I will not be the one to change this person.
Nobody has or will succeed at that task.
This person has nothing to give me.
I can't get blood from a stone,
And I'd only exhaust myself trying.
If I'm not able to change this person,
It doesn't mean I failed.
It was never a realistic goal.
It is not healthy to wipe the slate clean with this person and start all over again.
What happened was the result of many causes and conditions,
Both in me and beyond me.
I unwrap myself from the fantasy of this person and see them clearly for who they really are.
I let go of blaming myself and forgive myself for getting into a relationship with this person.
They are very good at what they do because their life and their fragile sense of self depend on it.
I am not the first person who has tried to love or help this person.
I forgive myself for staying too long.
No amount of energy or caring will help this person to change.
Like a sunflower,
I turn toward the light and put my attention where it makes the greatest positive difference.
I have compassion for how hard this is.
Two steps forward and one step back is still moving in the right direction.
My future self has moved far beyond this situation and guides my way.
I take refuge in the most awake part of myself.
I choose peace over drama.
I act based on principles and deeper aspiration rather than at the mercy of emotions or to please another person.
I am greater than this situation.
I let go of the fantasy of this person and accept the reality that I deserve more.
I am not my past.
I am not my pain.
I am not my grief.
I am not my shame.
I am light.
I acknowledge that moments of validation exist within a greater cycle of trauma,
Drama,
Abuse,
And detachment.
I can't change another person's behavior,
But I can decide not to allow it in my life anymore.
I see myself through the eyes of those who love me unconditionally.
I spend time with those who uplift me and encourage me to blossom.
I grow through what I go through.
What this person thinks of me doesn't matter.
They don't even like themselves.
I resolve to stop barking up a tree where I am not respected.
I choose true freedom.
May my loving kindness for myself be greater than my need to be accepted by anyone else.
When addictive thoughts arise,
I replace them with healthier thoughts.
I cannot correct this person's beliefs and perceptions about the world or about me.
It is a waste of time and energy to try.
I choose healthy coping mechanisms instead of misguided ones that pull me back in.
I consciously choose something different until I establish a new healthy habit.
I will never get what I need or deserve from this person.
They are not capable of giving it.
Being devalued and discarded by this person is not personal.
It's inevitable when I put up healthy boundaries.
And I am better off without this person.
I accept that I probably will have to create my own closure.
And I empower myself to do so.
