Our Relationship With Resistance

Encountering inertia in our daily life is a not new to us. There is always something that needs doing. And we are not alien to the feeling of just wanting to do nothing. Where does this resistance come from? What is it trying to tell us? Is it our foe? Or is it our friend? In this practice we attempt to understand this mystery of resistance we come to meet in our daily lives.

Transcript

Welcome, In today's practice we will reflect on our relationship with resistance. In the gap between thinking and doing is the inexplicable resistance. I ponder about this a lot because I encounter it frequently. It appears when I have to start something new or big. And also when I wake up on some days. James Hollis famously described this phenomenon beautifully. He says there are twin gremlins, Fear and lethargy, That sit at the foot of our bed each morning. Fear whispers to us that it is too big, Too much, Or that you cannot handle the day. And lethargy urges you to stay back, Chill out, And put it off until tomorrow. I used to be easily swayed by the hypnotic song of these two sirens. And as a result, I would procrastinate and put off the doing and I really had no choice. But over the years, I have realized how much of my life energy was drained by these exhausting behaviors. Along with it came the feeling of guilt and shame for having succumbed to this habit. Which had as a result cause a rippling effect on many areas of my life and mind you not the good kind. So to address this riddle of resistance, I had to find ways to move from thinking to doing. And to do this, First I had to find the reasons for this resistance I faced. That I'm overwhelmed by the idea of doing a task. It was not about how big or small a task was. But it was the thought of doing it all in one go. That was too much for me and this caused me to choose not doing it. So, As a first step, I addressed this misconception. I told myself, I don't have to do all of it in one go. I can start. And that counts. I can take one small step and that matters. It did not really matter how small the step was. And when I did that one small thing, I would applaud myself for taking that small step. For example, If I was putting off folding my wash laundry. I would put on my favorite song and tell myself, Let's just fold until the song is over. Once done, I would reward myself by eating a chocolate chip cookie because I love it. And from that small step, I built it to bigger goals. Yes, I agree, It's not an immediate magical solution. And that it takes time, Consistency and commitment to develop this mechanism. But when we do this, Break it into small bits, Take small but consistent action and pair it with rewarding mechanism, It becomes our natural way and a habit over a period of time. In developing this for myself, I've had failed attempts. I have felt demotivated. Defaulted to my old ways. I even have decided to give up. But with each time I stopped, I made sure I restarted. Missing one time was okay. The key thing was not to miss it twice. The other action that I took was to change the way I spoke to myself when resistance showed up. I stopped shaming and guilting myself. I also stopped threatening and white knuckling myself. I spoke to this resistance like it were a little child who refused to go to bed on a school night. With a lot of love and patience of a loving but firm mother. It sounds preposterous because it feels that way in the beginning. Impatience, Frustration, Demotivation, All of these show up. I have questioned my own abilities as an adult in this process. But the key thing to remember in such moments is that we are human and this is a part of our human experience. We can be gentle with ourselves when resistance shows up. It is not a sin to feel resistance to doing something. We are allowed to feel this. We are permitted to make space for it. This gentle, Unhurried and considerate approach to our inner resistance makes a big difference. I have seen it change my life and the way I show up in the world. So next time you're caught between thinking and doing. Say gently to your resistance, I see you. I am here and I am all yours to what you have to share with me. Then. Listen to its concerns, To its doubts, To its fears. To what it has to say without interruption and intervention. You'll be surprised the impact this simple act of presence and listening has on softening the ruffled relationship between you and your resistance. With continued practice, You will begin to see a reliable guide in your resistance, Who will navigate you through the sea of life filled with sirens and lead you into new worlds you never imagined. Thank you for sharing this space with me today while we unpack this restaurant. Visual lovely time discovering the rewarding relationship with your resistance.