Nonviolent Communication Part 3: Self-Connection, Guilt & The Organism - by Hans van Veen

COURSE

Nonviolent Communication Part 3: Self-Connection, Guilt & The Organism

With Hans van Veen

‘Nonviolent Communication’ is the intention of seeing humanity in each other. Immerse yourself in the techniques and consciousness of connecting deeper within, and to others, with the mindful communication approach called ‘Nonviolent Communication’ (NVC). This, course 3, will address the beautiful paradigm of seeing our 'organism self', we will learn about self-rejection and self-connection, and we will learn how to process guilt in a way that leads to more understanding and inner peace. I call NVC 'mindful communication', because this approach offers a conscious and helpful way of relating to our thoughts, feelings, and needs in a way that creates both meta-awareness and Metta--as in loving kindness, for yourself and others. NVC, at the surface, is a range of conversational techniques that are an expression of its deeper being: a compassionate non-dual quality of awareness. In these courses, you will get to taste this awareness and see it in action in several domains such as listening, dealing with anger, and enemy images, judgment-free relating, and much more. You'll get to practice the clarity that discerns strategies from needs, thoughts from feelings, demands from requests and observations from interpretations. And you'll see how this clarity can untangle and help dissolve our habitual split-second reactivities. Some notes: - For beginners, I recommend that you use the internet and search for an 'NVC feelings and needs list'. That will help you with some emotional and needs vocabulary, and also be useful for some of the exercises. - This course is part of a series of 6 courses on NVC, that can either be taken separately or in conjunction, although of course taking all 6 courses will give you a more complete picture of the material. - The ‘totality’ of NVC is a rich and living bouquet of ever-evolving practices, topics, and insights, and these courses are not meant to convey that totality (nor could they); rather, I share here my deepest insights, coolest learnings, and most useful practical tips. I dearly hope you find benefit in it and enjoy the course(s)! Thanks to Robin Stuart for the image.


Meet your Teacher

Hans van Veen is a parent, Aletheia Method Transformational Coach, and communication trainer, as well as a certification candidate with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. His work is rooted in Nonviolent Communication and enriched by Nondual Tantra, Zen, Vipassana, and other contemplative practices. He supports parents, groups, couples, and individuals in cultivating empathy, self-acceptance, and authentic connection.

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3 Days

416 students

4.8 stars

13 min / day

Compassion

English


Lesson 1

The Anonymous Organism Living Beneath Our Stories

Who are you, underneath your autobiography, without your name, and beyond stories about yourself? If we see ourselves as organisms--that live and breathe quite independently from the comparative stories we tell and the labels we put--compassion comes much easier. Therefore, this session sees our anonymous self, sovereign as organism, and truer than our self-image based on mental categories. The organism-perspective also more readily connects us socially, than our often debating way of relating.

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Lesson 2

Going From Self-Rejection To Self-Empathy

What is it about self-rejection that cuts us off from the life within us? And how can we use mindful self-communication to relate empathically to our feelings and needs? This session answer these questions & more, offering several compassionate ways to re-imagine our self-relating in moments of pain.

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Lesson 3

The Guilt Process

Feeling guilty can be such a hard place to be in. And did you notice that 'feeling' guilty is a strange mix of uncomfortable feelings + self-judgments? Also, have you noticed the inner split, the inner fight that constitutes guilt? In this session, we will look empathically at the voices in us who want to educate us and defend our actions.

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4.8 (46)

Recent Reviews

Danielle

Danielle

October 7, 2025

I found this course very interesting, relatable and easy to digest. I look forward to continuing, and learning more about myself and how I relate to others. I especially like the practical exercises. They were very helpful. Thank you Hans!

Jennifer

September 10, 2025

Thank you for creating these courses! I really appreciate your careful descriptions of all the layers of mindful communication. Learning to work on the dialogue with myself will certainly enhance my communication with others! I also love how each session begins with a quote. I look forward to continuing working with the next sessions in this series!

Leni

June 8, 2025

I love the way Hans explains things so completely and clearly. I try to listen every morning and even take detailed notes. The next morning I read over my notes. More than any other way, this study process is helping to deepen my understanding and ability to practice NVC in my life. I can’t thank you enough, Hans!

LA

LA

March 31, 2025

This is from a comment I shared in one of the NVC classrooms and I think it conveys how informative and helpful this series has been for me. I just started the fourth course. I highly recommend! “As I make my way through these NVC courses, the cynic in me keeps wondering when they’ll become repetitive and less interesting. Then I listen to the next one and note that I need to listen to it at least one more time to fill in the gaps where I started to get lost in thought about a resonating insight presented. It seems so elementary that emotions are rooted in needs, and that our needs - met and unmet - strongly inform how we experience the world and how we fit into it…. …This “formula” has already and will help me better understand where other people are coming from…. The idea that conflict can be resolved by “simply” identifying, acknowledging, and tending to individual needs is … well, it could be life-changing for me, if I allow it.”

Juany

Juany

March 18, 2025

thank you dear

Ellen

Ellen

October 5, 2024

Like identification of educator and chooser

Ra

October 4, 2024

I

🐒Christine

🐒Christine

August 13, 2024

Lots of helpful information here, thank you- looking forward to the next one

Kelly

July 26, 2024

Amazing ✨ Hans has a beautiful teaching style that, for me, integrate the information seamlessly and easily into my mind and heart. Thank you! 🙏

Marla

Marla

April 3, 2024

Another awesome course 🙏🏻✨🧠💪🏻🤗

KatieG

KatieG

February 4, 2024

I’m enjoying these courses on NVC, very well presented with homework that’s doable and with practice can truly impact my many interpersonal encounters and relationships. Thank you! 🙏🏼

Nia

Nia

February 2, 2024

Very self compassionate, I really enjoyed the part about needs/debate/no conflict aspect & so much more, will replay again!

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