Songs Of Healing & Hope

I composed “Music Saved Me” while being bombarded by constant noise and stress. This song was a catalyst for my transformation and gave me clarity about what was missing in my life. After the death of my young son, I lived in a sad and silent world and wish I had sought out music and meditation to soothe myself. I allowed myself to grieve, but years later I completely blocked my feelings and became deadened and joyless. One day, I realized that I deserved a life filled with music instead of noise. I courageously made difficult choices to change my life and am thankful every day for the peacefulness and joy I’ve chosen as my path. My lesson will discuss the profound metaphors between noise and music. Noise represented confusion, emptiness, and irritation. Music countered this. It was magical, uplifting, and peaceful. I hope you can find parallels in your life, so you can counter the emptiness of noise with the magic of music.

“You Are My Wings” is a song about flying with joy. For this lesson, I discuss how flying solo and embracing my dream has not turned out to be lonely. Feeling disconnected in close relationships left me far more isolated. I never wanted to fly alone, but I am surrounded by love and music in my heart. My insight from “You Are My Wings” is that even though my life didn’t turn out to be the romantic dream I imagined as a young girl, I am living a fairytale in ways I could never have imagined. I hope to inspire you to connect to your heart and find your wings. Wings can take you to new places. Wings can uplift you from the depths of monotony and hopelessness. Wings represent gratitude and comfort. Wings offer hope. If you believe in your ability to fly, you can go to beautiful places.

Memories offer sustenance during times of struggle. For this lesson, I will share my experiences and coping methods during dark times in my life. I composed “Memory of Love” when my mother was suffering from dementia. Remembering her love helped me cope when I felt discouraged. I was blessed to have so many lovely memories to soothe me. I realize not everyone might have lovely memories or even be given the opportunity to say goodbye to their loved one. Still, I believe there are other ways to incorporate memories of love into your life. Love is a circle. I carry memories from my past that blanket me with love. And in the present, I want to create new memories that those I love will hold onto when I’m no longer here.

“How We Don't Care” is about pretending, which is a barrier to true intimacy. I wrote my song as a young girl when a close friend hurt me deeply. I used to ride a rollercoaster of emotions that was completely in my mind. When I felt hurt, I would appear cold and detached. This might have protected my wounded heart, but withdrawing love as a weapon was a charade that left me numb and blocked. Acknowledging this pattern in my life was the first step toward changing it. Currently, I embrace the challenge of being pure and open and allow myself to honestly express my hurt. I've also switched my thinking to “how much I care”, instead of pretending that I don't. The willingness to change my old habit of suppression has led me to significantly deeper connections. I've learned how important it is to open my heart, even when I'm angry or upset. My passion for music has resulted in many touching friendships with people all over the world as I continue to open my heart. And the most beautiful part is that after years of searching, I found a new bestfriend. It turned out - I found myself.

Music is my joy and the full expression of my feelings. I allowed myself to express my wish to hold my loved ones again in “Take Me Away.” My song mentions how hard it was for me to move on from my grief. Grief swept me away and I was submerged and powerless to swim against the current. During my hopeless moments, I prayed for intervention and dreamt of seeing my deceased child again. A vision of him underwater helped me survive until I was able to swim out from my ocean of tears onto land again. My most challenging moments have given me lessons of strength and compassion. Maintaining hope was critical and sometimes when I was caught up in a current, I had to trust where it was taking me. Do you see a way where you can transform your pain by floating with the current, rather than fighting it? Are you able to envision a new destination, even when you are struggling? Once, I ached for dreams at night of my departed loved ones. It was a revelation when I realized they are always with me, even when I’m awake.

My song “The Unknown” is probably the most pivotal song of mine. The lyrics became a script that gave me the courage to change my life. This lesson is about how my life completely changed when I became willing to change my mindset. Most humans avoid change and fear of what is unknown. Taking a leap into something unknown can apply to many other things. For me, it was my marriage, but it could also apply to a living situation, job, relationship, or anything that is uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the price of staying safe and miserable is very high. It’s easy to accept familiar misery because the unknown might be worse. It is scary and unpredictable. Making a decision to change something in your life might seem scary, but doing nothing and remaining complacent is also a decision. From the moment I was ready to face the unknown, I became determined to see the unknown as a challenging adventure. Instead of stepping off a cliff to fall, I was determined to fly. I hope I can inspire you to find the courage and willingness to choose a different path on your life’s journey when you are ready.

Long ago, I wrote about dreams in my high school diary. They were about connecting my heart with people through my music. I am always amazed how decades later my dream actually came true. Whenever I receive a message from someone who appreciates my music, I’m incredibly joyful. Even when I was in deep grief, I did dream. I not only wished for my departed loved ones to visit; I also dreamt about healing and this was an antidote for my despair. True healing came to me when I exposed my innermost thoughts and opened my heart. After that, I rediscovered my music and began to dream again. I had a passion in my life like I’d never had before and this inspired me to compose “My Dream.” The line “My dream will get me through” was a beautiful projection of how I coped during such a difficult time with my parents were dying and navigating a divorce after a long marriage. Dreams are universal and every person can hold onto them. Although mine encompasses music and songs, there are endless ways to dream. I would love to inspire you to discover your personal hopes and desires. Allow yourself to dream!

The word “Retreat” can be used as both a verb and a noun. As a verb, it means to surrender, withdraw, or give up. As a noun, it can represent an escape, a sanctuary, or refuge. It might seem like surrendering and giving up implies weakness. But during times of withdrawal in my life, I’ve discovered lessons that were essential for my growth. Retreating allowed me to escape from pain and represented self-care. I was able to recharge and find inner peace. I composed my song “Retreat” as a young girl when I felt lonely and hurt. So many times in my life, I used to wish someone would magically appear to rescue me. But later in my life, I became more resilient. Instead of expecting someone to be there, I learned to become my own best friend that I could always count on. Is there a place in your life where you can retreat? For me, releasing tears and acknowledging my honest feelings helped me discover my own private sanctuary of comfort. Whether you’re stressed or lonely, or if you are in grief, allow yourself to close off unwanted thoughts and retreat in your mind. You absolutely have the ability to heal yourself, change your thoughts, and find your inner strength. Feel the love from your past and present. Let it envelop your heart and bring you peace.

My song “Angel in the Sky” acknowledges longing and loss. But the additional meaning comes from how I reinvented my shattered soul. By channeling my love in another way, I am inspired to become an “Angel Here on Earth”. I encourage you to find ways to honor your loved ones’ memory and transform your love into actions that honor your beloved. My child died and left my life initially. But with healing, he returned as a beautiful light. I know that when I die someday, he will be right there waiting to guide me. Every moment of my life, I am grateful for my healing. I never take for granted how far I have traveled from the hell where my grief began. And Jason has been with me every step of the way shining his light.

My song "In the Past" summarizes many concepts I’ve already discussed, so I intentionally chose it to be the last song for this course. I've learned to live far more in the present than I used to. Perhaps my song could have had a more uplifting name of "In the Present". I treasure each day and the dreams that are in front of me are sustaining. I strongly believe in hopes and dreams, even though I didn't always hold them tightly during difficult times in my life. I don't see my dreams as living for the future. Imagining and looking forward to things are my signposts in the present and have led me in beautiful directions. I hope my insights from "In the Past" and all of the songs for this course have been helpful to you. As you travel upon your journey in life, I hope you will find many insights that uplift and inspire you. Even with roadblocks such as heartbreak and grief, it's possible for you to journey farther than you might ever imagine. Treasure each day, let your dreams lead the way, allow yourself to feel, choose thoughts that are uplifting, keep your smile in spite of adversity, remember the love from all parts of your life, live with joy, and find your wings.