Holding Space For Grief

Grief arrives uninvited, changing everything, like how we think, feel, and move through the world. Welcome to the course. Here I'll share what's to come throughout this course to set your expectations. I believe information truly can be the antidote when our world feels chaotic. Understanding the process is like building a bridge from the amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) back to the prefrontal cortex (the rational and regulating part of the brain). Throughout this course, I'll be sharing information gleaned from research in neuroscience, grief, somatic psychology, and mindfulness to deepen your understanding and awareness of how loss impacts your unique journey. Listen to this track to get a full overview of the lessons, and learn how we can start finding new footing together.

Welcome back. In this lesson, I'll delve into the neuroscience of loss, noticing symptoms of grief as they link to our nervous system's instinct for survival and adaptation. We explore why the weight, exhaustion, and fogginess you feel are signs of your system intelligently working overtime, not failing at grief. This lesson also includes a guided practice for grounding, offering a moment of compassionate awareness to help your body feel safe again. References: Boss, P. (2006). Loss, trauma, and resilience: Therapeutic work with ambiguous loss. Coan, J. A., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science, 17(12), 1032–1039. Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., & Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302(5643), 290–292. O’Connor, M. F. (2019). The grieving brain: The surprising science of how we learn from love and loss. Panksepp, J. (1998). Affective neuroscience: The foundations of human and animal emotions. Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197–224. Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma.

Welcome back. In this lesson, I'll delve into that tender middle ground where so many get stuck: suspended between numbness and the fear of being overwhelmed by emotions. We'll explore the physiology of emotional suppression and touch on polyvagal theory. This lesson offers four practice suggestions to safely reconnect with feeling, supporting your nervous system to move from reactivity or shut down toward regulation at your own pace. Thank you for being here. References: Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., et al. (2007). Putting Feelings into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. Ochsner, K. N., & Gross, J. J. (2004). Thinking Makes It So: A Social Cognitive Neuroscience Approach to Emotion Regulation. In Handbook of Self and Identity Hendriks, M. C. P., Rottenberg, J., & Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M. (2008). Can the Distress-Supportive Function of Crying be Discovered in Experimental Research? Emotion, 8(6), 862–869. O’Connor, M. F. (2022). The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss.

The phrase "moving on" can feel like a profound betrayal when you think of the loss you are experiencing. This lesson dismantles that expectation, reframing healing as learning to "live alongside loss". I'll draw on neuroscience and attachment theory to affirm that the bond never ends, reframing it as changing in form. Discover how to carry your loved one forward through evolving connection and new meaning, anchored in the love that remains. This lesson includes a guided practice. Thank you so much for being here.

When grief feels overwhelming, our nervous system can cycle between overwhelm and numbness, leaving us feeling lost and raw. This lesson is your toolkit for moments of acute distress. Based on Polyvagal Theory, we explore how small, sensory actions act as reliable anchors, giving your body and brain small signals of safety. I'll share five practices anchoring back to the here and now, each offering a different pathway for calming the nervous system and nurturing emotional resilience. References for this lesson include: - Greater Good Science Center. (n.d.). Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley. University of California, Berkeley. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu - Fredrickson, B. L. (2009). Positivity. - Hanson, R (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence - Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss. - O’Connor, M.-F. (2022). The Grieving Brain. - Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment. - Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. S- iegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.

How does our love carry on after loss? This (almost) final lesson focuses on the healthy and adaptive nature of continuing bonds. We'll explore research-backed ways to keep your loved ones' spirit woven into your life, through memory, ritual, and creative expression. This lesson offers a vision of healing that honours the past while guiding you gently toward a future shaped by meaning, connection, and enduring love. And, as this lesson is the final one in the course, it includes a closing invitation to carry forward what you’ve learned with compassion, with patience, and with care, trusting that grief can be walked alongside rather than pushed away or allowed to eclipse all else. Grief does not need to be resolved to be honoured; it can be carried with gentleness, steadiness, and love as you continue forward. Thank you so much for being here and for doing this work. This lesson includes a guided practice. Music credit: Liborio Conti References used in writing this lesson: Coan, J., & Sbarra, D. (2015). Social Baseline Theory: The Role of Social Relationships in Emotion and Economy of Action. Jones, M. T., Albanese, E., & Boles, J. C. (2023). “They were here, and they still matter”: A qualitative study of bereaved parents’ legacy experiences and perceptions. Death Studies, 37(8), 1222–1231. Kirschner, H., Kuyken, W., Wright, K., Roberts, H., Brejcha, C., & Karl, A. (2020). Soothing your heart and feeling connected: A new experimental paradigm to study the benefits of self-compassion. Clinical Psychological Science. PMC 7324152 Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (1996). Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief. Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss. APA. Norton, M. I., Gino, F., & Ariely, D. (2014). “Rituals Alleviate Grieving for Loved Ones.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(1), 266–272. O’Connor, M.-F. (2022). The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss. Schell Pate, P. (2024). Expressive arts therapy and grief: A literature review. Journal of Creativity in Mental Health, 19(1), 45–60. Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy.