Welcome to Loved for Nothing,
A co-regulation moment with your pet.
This isn't a meditation.
It's just a few quiet minutes being with your animal,
Noticing how they love you,
And asking whether you love and care for yourself in the way that they do too.
Hi,
I'm Kori,
Late-diagnosed neurodivergent therapist.
This isn't really a meditation.
There's nothing particular to get right here.
It's just you and a few minutes with your animal.
If you have a dog or a cat or a bunny or a lizard or a bird.
Or whoever it is that's with you right now.
Wonderful.
Let them settle wherever they want to settle.
On your lap,
Against your leg,
Or across the room pretending that they don't care.
They do.
And if your animal isn't with you right now,
Or isn't with you anymore,
You can do this with them in your thoughts.
You don't have to picture them,
You can just know them.
Notice them for a minute.
Where are they?
How are they sitting or sprawling or curled up?
Do they look comfy?
Don't they always look comfy?
Think about the ways they show you love.
The way they greet you at the door,
Like you've been gone for a year.
The way they follow you from room to room.
The way they lean their whole body weight into you,
The slow blink,
The head bonk,
The spot where they insist on sleeping,
Which is somehow always on you,
Or in just the place where you want to be.
Now think about this.
What do they have to do for you to love them?
Nothing.
That's the beauty of animals.
They don't have to earn it.
They don't have to be productive or impressive or polite.
They don't have to say the right thing.
They don't have to wear the right clothes.
They don't have to read the room or know what to do.
We just love them.
They'll be your best friend for some time,
And you'll be their best friend for all of their days.
Let that sit for a second.
What does it feel like to know?
That you are so important to this animal.
You're everything to them.
Their lifeline to the outside world.
Their partner for connection.
Their safety,
Their food source,
Their schedule,
Their protector.
And their link to health.
What does that connection feel like for you?
Think about how they see you.
Not the version of you that's masking or performing or getting through your workday.
The real you.
The one in sweatpants.
Who talks to them in a weird voice.
Who has 34 different nicknames that sound nothing like their original name.
How does it feel to be the person that they adore just for showing up?
How does it feel to have their eyes on you?
Are they a set of eyes that you can tolerate more than the people you see each day?
What do their eyes say to you?
If they're with you and they're okay with being touched,
You can notice what their fur feels like.
Is it soft or wiry or sleek?
Are they warm?
Do they have a little bit of dog smell?
Their paws smell like corn chips.
Is their old doggy breath too much to get close to?
So they smell like the rain outside.
I really smell like a fresh bath.
Is this smell a comfort for you?
It smells often a comfort for a lot of us.
If you can notice,
Notice their heartbeat or watch their chest filling with air and then letting go.
You don't have to match your own breathing to theirs.
Sometimes it happens on its own.
Your nervous system and theirs are settling in together.
It's called co-regulation and animals are incredibly good at it,
Usually better than people.
Now think about their personality.
Are they calm?
Are they feisty?
Are they a very good furry baby?
Or are they kind of a menace?
Do they steal socks and eat them?
Do they bark at the mailman?
They knock things off the counter while looking you directly in the eye.
Did they have accidents in your house?
They eat food right off the table.
And notice the way that you love all of them anyway,
Even the naughty parts,
Even when they drive you completely up the wall.
Now here's the harder question.
Do you love yourself that way too?
All of you?
The calm parts and the feisty parts?
The parts that drive other people a little bit crazy?
Parts that need extra.
Think about how you take care of your animal.
They get regular meals,
Probably at the same time every day,
Because they'll let you know if you've missed your moment.
They have a routine schedule that their body understands.
They get to move.
They go on walks.
They get the zoomies.
Maybe they even chase that laser dot all over the walls.
They get rest whenever they need it.
Without guilt.
No one has ever seen a cat feel bad about a nap.
Now,
Gently,
Do you take care of yourself the way you take care of them?
Are you getting regular meals?
Are you getting a special treat?
Are you on a schedule that feels good to your body?
Are you moving a little bit each day in whatever way feels okay?
Are you making time to be around other creatures,
Maybe even people included,
Who see you the way that your animal does,
Just as you are?
The answer to some of those is not really.
That's okay.
It's just information.
A lot of us are very,
Very good at caring for everyone except ourselves.
Before we finish,
Pick one thing that your animal gets from you that you could give yourself today.
A real meal,
A walk.
A nap with no guilt.
Someone who's happy to see you.
And if your animal's still with you,
Maybe give them one more scratch.
A little thank you for loving you exactly as you are.
And think about all the ways.
That you care for them.
And maybe could apply some of that care to yourself in just the same way.
Thanks for spending time with me.
I'm Kori,
And I'll see you next time.
