RAIN Meditation To Release Difficult Emotions And Sensations

A guided RAIN meditation is a wonderful practice when you feel stuck with a difficult emotion or situation. It works both top-down (working with your thoughts and beliefs) and bottom-up (working with your body / emotions) - which is very helpful when dealing with a lot of intensity. The goal of RAIN is to develop more understanding and compassion for yourself - self-compassion is soothing and downregulating (calming) for the nervous system and an antidote to shame and other difficult emotions.

(RAIN was developed by Michele McDonald and popularized by Tara Brach.)

(Beautiful music by Jesse Gallagher - Song of Sadhana - YT Studio)

Transcript

Hi, I'm Katja Cahoon. I'm a yoga teacher and psychotherapist. The RAIN meditation is a wonderful meditation. When you're dealing with difficult emotions or situations and when you feel overwhelmed or you feel you just can't get out of a certain state you're in. What's wonderful about the RAIN meditation is that it works both top-down, So cognitively with our thoughts, As well as bottom-up with our bodies, Somatically. And both are important when we're dealing with a difficult situation. So find a comfortable position. You can be seated like I am. You can also lie down and you can even do this as you're doing something else. Let's say you're driving somewhere and you just really feel overwhelmed with something or you're walking. You don't have to close your eyes, Although if you are in a comfortable, Safe space, Please feel free to do so. Sometimes it helps with the going inward. Bring to mind the difficult situation or emotion that you're dealing with. It could be a person too that evokes strong feelings. Emotions or that you're having a hard time dealing with. And the first step of RAIN is recognize. And what we do here is we bring in a friendly, Curious observer that recognizes what's going on. Sometimes this is called labeling. So what we do here is we very gently call out what is happening. So you might call the emotions, Anger, Stress, Fear, Disappointment. Whatever it might be. You might recognize the physical sensations, Tension, Cramping, Tightness, Shaking, Whatever it might be. And you might recognize that there are cognitions, Beliefs, Judgments even. So I am not good enough. I can never do this right. Those are judgments and beliefs. So you could gently call out beliefs, Judgments. And you might even notice a story, A narrative that's forming around this situation. You're already 10 miles ahead in the future of what is going to happen. So you can very gently call out that there is a story that's forming. Don't get pulled away by the story. Really what we're doing here is just calling it out, Just labeling it. We're creating just a tiny bit of distance as we do that because we're now observing rather than just being the emotion, The sensation, Whatever it might be. And when you feel you've got a good handle on it, You've recognized what is there, Move to the next step, Which is the A in RAIN, And it stands for Allow or Accept. And this feels very counterintuitive because most of the time when we're experiencing something unpleasant, Unless we've trained our mind not to do that, The tendency is to want to push it down or push it away or make it go away, Distract ourselves. And not feel what is so uncomfortable and unpleasant. So imagine that you're giving it space. You can verbally say to yourself, I accept that this is here right now. I allow this to be here, Even though it is difficult, Unpleasant. You can also imagine physically giving it space. So that might be expanding your body from the contraction, Taking a deep breath, Imagining giving all those sensations some space inside of you. You can even imagine that perhaps the space extends around you or goes into the room so it's not so compressed inside of you. This might be hard and let that be okay. Then you accept that accepting is hard. The next step in RAIN is I for investigate. And what we do here is we move a little bit more deeply, Especially into the physical sensations. A question here is, Can I be with this? Can I be with the exploration? Can I allow myself to go a little bit deeper and explore it, Investigate it? And if the answer is no, Let that be okay. Sometimes resistance is protective. And we have this because looking at it more deeply is too painful right now. Then you just investigate the resistance a little bit. What purpose does it serve? How is it protecting me? How is this helping or benefiting me? What does it feel like to resist? Where do I feel it in my body? So again, We work with whatever is, And if there is resistance, If the answer is no, That's okay, We work with that. Because just the process of allowing that to be there and exploring that gently with curiosity and kindness, Actually does shift something and it offers a new layer of insight or wisdom. And sometimes that takes a few rounds. So if you're not getting a lot of new insight right away, Don't give up, Stick with it. Like everything, It's a muscle that needs to be practiced. And if you're used to pushing things away, Then this is gonna take a little bit of practice. And if the answer is yes, Yes, I can be with this, I can investigate it, Great. Notice where you feel the sensations or emotions in your body, What they feel like. Can you breathe into them and observe them just as they are without judging, Without going into a story? Just being present. You might ask, What is this telling me or teaching me? What do I need to learn? And pay attention to the quality of your response. If the response is something like, Well, I just need to learn to relax. Notice that as another judgment. And notice what that feels like when you tell yourself, Oh, You just need to relax or anything like that. Notice what that feels like in your body, How that changes your breathing, Your posture. Wherever your mind goes, You follow with curiosity and kindness and compassion. And if your response is something that has a quality of friendliness or kindness or compassion. Great, Notice that. Perhaps it is something, Oh, This is an old feeling. I always feel this when I feel scared of. Being abandoned, For example. You might have insights like that. Then you realize that perhaps under the initial emotional reaction there is another layer. And very often there is a fear. You could also ask, How old is this feeling? Have I felt this before? Perhaps a memory. An image. An age will come to mind. Then be curious about that. Notice that. That's good stuff. What do I need? What do I need? What does my body need as I'm experiencing and investigating this? And let the answer again arise. Notice if the answer comes with judgment. Or if it comes with kindness and compassion. And if the answer comes with judgment. . . See if you can find some way around that perhaps. What you would say to a good friend if your answer is, Well, I just need to get over it. Hmm. How could you put this in a way that's kinder? That's more supportive of where you are right now. Because if you could get over it, You would. Then you wouldn't sit here. So clearly something else is needed. And that takes us to the last step, Which is the N in RAIN. And it stands either for non-personalization or non-personal or nurturing. So non-personal again is a little bit more cognitive. It could be as simple as, I am not my emotions. I'm feeling this right now, But I am not my emotions. This isn't all of me. Yes, This is here, And it's not the only thing. There are other things that I experience. Maybe this moment it feels very overwhelming and big, But it will pass because it always does. And nurturing really brings in this compassion that we've already touched on as we went through the other steps. So that kindness, That friendliness, That compassion for yourself in this situation. You are responding this way for a reason. If you could do it differently, You would, And you being here is working on responding differently. Right now this is your body, Your mind responding to a certain stimulus the way it is. And the best way to work with that is to have compassion. Perhaps for younger selves that learned this pattern that maybe had to learn this pattern to survive. And then you can say to yourself, I'm sorry this was so hard. I'm sorry you had to learn this. Compassion for the you in the present moment. This is difficult. And I'm learning to do it differently. I'm doing the best I can. So take a moment and find either a non-personal or a nurturing statement that really resonates. And that feels good. And you can even put a hand on the part that hurts. And apply that gentle supportive touch. And if this part is hard, Notice that and just know that sometimes it takes some practice. If you haven't extended a lot of compassion toward yourself or have received a lot of compassion growing up or later in life, It can feel a little strange at first and foreign and and a little awkward perhaps. Let that be okay and just notice that. And notice whatever your response was, Whatever you felt. Notice how you feel now that you've gone through this exercise. What have you learned? What can you take with you into the rest of your day, Your week, Your month?