Lovingkindness Talk

Lovingkindness Meditation focuses on the energy of the Heart and the Silent repetition of certain Phrases. This talk explains the origins of Lovingkindness, including where the phrase "Lovingkindness" came from and the deeper connection we have with ourselves and others when we practice the generosity of the spirit, and gift giving with compassion towards ourselves first, and then offering these phrases to others.

Transcript

So welcome everyone to this talk on loving-kindness.

So what is loving-kindness?

Well I'll start from the beginning.

The actual word loving-kindness is a translation from a word from Pali,

The language of the original Buddhist text,

And that word is metta.

And the literal translation is friendship.

So it's about the art of friendship with ourselves.

And that means all aspects of ourselves.

And ultimately with all of life.

And so it usually is defined as a connection,

A profound sense of connection,

Because it actually doesn't imply that you like everybody.

It doesn't even imply that you like anybody.

But it's a deep knowing that our lives have something to do with one another.

And the corollary understanding is that everybody counts.

Everybody matters.

Not everybody is going to be your best friend.

But everybody matters.

And so our whole way of relating to ourselves and to others gets first challenged and then transformed.

So when we're practicing loving-kindness,

Rather than resting your attention on the feeling of the breath,

Which is how we do most meditations,

We focus on the breath.

The difference is you rest your attention on the silent repetition of certain phrases.

And these phrases are the conduit of the heart's energy.

They are the vehicle that helps us pay attention differently.

The feeling of the whole practice is generosity.

It is gift-giving.

It's generosity of the spirit we're offering through the phrases,

The sense of connection and care.

And the first recipient is always ourselves first.

So I hope that really helps you understand loving-kindness and the difference between that and other meditations where we do focus more on the breath.

And now I'd like to just read a small excerpt from John Kabat-Zing's book,

Wherever You Go,

There You Are.

We resonate with one another's sorrows because we are interconnected.

Being whole and simultaneously part of a larger whole,

We can change the world simply by changing ourselves.

If I become a centre of love and kindness in this moment,

Then in a perhaps small but hardly insignificant way,

The world now has a nucleus of love and kindness it lacked the moment before.

This benefits me and it benefits others.

You may have noticed that you are not always a centre of loving-kindness even towards yourself.

In fact,

In our society,

One might speak of an epidemic of low self-esteem.

In conversations with the Dalai Lama during a meeting in Dashmala in 1990,

When a Western psychologist spoke of low self-esteem,

He just couldn't grasp the notion of low self-esteem.

And when he finally understood what was being said,

He was visibly shocked.

He was incredibly saddened to hear that so many people in the Western world carry deep feelings of self-loathing and inadequacies.

Such feelings are virtually unheard of among the Tibetans.

They have all the severe problems of refugees from oppression living in the Third World,

But low self-esteem is not one of them.

But who knows what will happen to future generations as they come into contact with what we ironically call the developed world.

Maybe we are overdeveloped outwardly and underdeveloped inwardly.

Perhaps it is we who,

For all our wealth,

Are living in poverty.

I believe it's something we really have to think deeply about.

I felt that statement was profound and I really hope it resonates with you too,

And that you enjoy the loving-kindness meditation that I have now produced along with this talk.

And I bid you good day for now.