Why do so many women lose their desire for sex?
Why do so many women have trouble orgasming during sex with a partner?
I'm Dr.
Lori Mintz,
And I'm going to give you the answers to these questions,
But more importantly,
Help you if you are a woman struggling with diminished desire.
Difficulty orgasming with a problem,
Or other sexual concerns like shame,
Difficulty communicating with a partner.
I'm a licensed psychologist and a certified sex therapist.
I've been in practice for over 30 years.
I have taught many courses to college students,
Physicians,
Other therapists,
The lay public on just these concerns.
And I've also authored three books on these issues to help women become empowered sexually.
So let me start out by giving you a very,
Very broad framework.
That will set the foundation for all of my future videos and audios and practices with you.
And that is,
In sex therapy,
We talk about something called the biopsychosocial model,
Meaning that sexual concerns come from a combination of biological factors,
Social and cultural factors,
And relational factors.
So that doesn't mean that every woman's problem has all three,
But it means that when we talk to women and try to figure out what's going on,
We have to look at all three.
So let's take each of these concerns so I can illustrate this for you.
So if a woman comes in and says,
I have diminished desire or what she'll usually say is,
I never want to have sex anymore.
I'm never horny anymore.
There might be biological things going on.
For example,
She might be in perimenopause or menopause.
And her testosterone levels are low.
And that is something physicians who are certified in sexual medicine and menopause therapy can help with.
Or maybe it's not her testosterone,
Maybe her estrogen has fallen so low that she's having painful sex,
Dry sex,
Because that's what happens,
Our vaginas dry out with a lack of estrogen and if something's painful,
You're not gonna wanna have it.
So we have to first eliminate what's going on biologically and treat that.
And then.
.
.
Maybe.
Her own life is so stressful and it's She's exhausted and it's very hard to be sexual,
To desire sex when you're exhausted.
So maybe it's something going on within her or her life,
Or maybe she is angry at her husband.
He hasn't done his share of the household work.
So that could be one factor and it often is.
Or maybe it's a cultural factor,
And by that I mean a lack of education.
Maybe no one has ever told her that as we age and our relationships age,
We do naturally become less interested in sex,
We become less horny,
But no one's also told her about this thing called responsive desire,
Which I'll talk about in future videos.
That helps us have sex before we get horny.
And we have sex,
We touch,
And then we get horny by having sex.
So that's desire.
And that's just a quick rundown.
So many other factors could be in that biologically,
Relationally,
Internally.
Culturally.
Now let's look at orgasm issues.
Perhaps a woman has never had an orgasm.
And we need to look at biology.
There are some medical conditions that we need to rule out by sending the woman to a gynecologist,
A sexual medicine provider.
Maybe she's on an SSRI and this has decreased her orgasm as it does,
But luckily there are some medications for that,
Some topicals that can help,
Topical creams you put on your clitoris.
We'll get into that.
Maybe it's her anxiety again and her self-consciousness.
Maybe she's up in her head thinking,
Am I gonna come?
Am I gonna come?
And that will prevent orgasm,
Because an orgasm requires a complete immersion in one's body.
Or culturally,
That's a big one for orgasm issues.
Maybe she's never learned about her most essential erotic organ,
Because many of us don't.
The clitoris,
Which is a huge organ,
Internal and external,
And it's equivalent to the penis.
And maybe she's trying to orgasm through penetration.
Maybe she's not stimulating her clitoris in a way that's pleasing to her.
Or maybe she's fallen into this false belief that vibrators are addictive and harmful and doesn't know that in fact,
They're scientifically supported tools.
So again,
Dr.
Lori Menzel.
And I'm here to help women learn about their sexuality,
Become empowered.
And understand what might be causing sexual problems and solve those.
And we'll do those in all my future videos and practices.
