Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): A Path To Healing

09:30

Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): A Path To Healing

by Cheryl Willsie

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

4

As a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, I introduce Internal Family Systems (IFS), a model founded by Richard Schwartz, PhD. IFS understands consciousness as naturally made up of many parts, and offers both a map of the psyche and a safe yet powerful process for healing trauma. You'll learn how we take on burdens from overwhelming experiences, how our protective parts - managers and firefighters — work to keep us safe, and why every part carries a positive intention. Meeting these parts with curiosity and self-compassion can help release old pain, resolve inner conflict, and reconnect you with your true, authentic Self. This is a compassionate, depathologizing approach for anyone who wants to understand themselves more deeply and feel more peace and harmony within.

Inner Child Healing Parts Dialogue Practice Internal Family Systems Trauma Healing Inner Conflict Resolution Self Compassion Development

Meet your Teacher

Sarnia, ON, Canada

Meet your Teacher

Sarnia, ON, Canada

Transcript

Have you ever experienced an inner conflict where a part of you wanted one thing and another part of you wanted something totally different? Maybe you felt like you were ready to leave a job or relationship, But a part of you just wasn't ready. Or maybe it was something else. Whatever the case, An inner conflict can really disrupt your inner peace and harmony. This is one of the reasons why I love Internal Family Systems IFS therapy. So as a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist, I love IFS because it provides a process for releasing and healing trauma. It also provides a way to access more self-compassion and become more of who you really are, Your true authentic self. IFS provides both a map for understanding and navigating the human psyche and this process for healing trauma. It also provides a way for understanding how to approach these inner conflicts from a place of curiosity and self-compassion. So in this video, I'll be breaking down these two different aspects of the IFS model and we'll be starting with the map of the human psyche. So it's based on something called multiplicity. So multiplicity is a concept that means that it's the nature of the psyche or consciousness to be multiple. So this means that your consciousness is made up of many different parts. Now, Parts are a natural aspect of being a human being. Everyone has them. But the more trauma you internalize, The more fragmented your system becomes and the more conflict develops between your parts, Taking you really far away from the feeling of peace and harmony that we all desire. So how does this work? Well, When you experience an overwhelming life event that overwhelms your capacity to cope, Those emotions and that experience get stuck in your nervous system and in your psyche. So in IFS, We understand the process of trauma as being taking on a burden in your system. So what is a burden? Well, I like to think of a burden as a sort of stuck energy that includes a painful emotion, Things like shame, Fear, Sadness, Loneliness, And a limiting belief that goes along with it. Things like the world is an unsafe place or I'm unlovable. And there can often also be painful sensations in the body. So because this burden is so painful, The part of you that's carrying it gets sent into exile, Into the proverbial inner basement of your psyche. It becomes repressed. So we call these parts exiles. Now these exiles are your most vulnerable and wounded inner children. And what happens is that their pain can be so overwhelming that we tend to push them away. And so this is really reinforced by our culture. We learn coping strategies and ways to avoid our emotions, But rarely do we learn how to move towards them with curiosity and compassion, Which is what IFS does. So how do we do this safely? Well, Prior to approaching our exiles, We come into relationship with the other type of part in the IFS model, Which we call protectors. So these are the parts of you that adopt survival strategies. Sometimes these are called defense mechanisms. In IFS, We call them protector strategies. That aim to prevent you from being overwhelmed by these painful emotions that your exiles carry. Now there's two types of protector parts. The first one are called managers. So managers are the parts of you that feel responsible for managing your life. They're essentially parentified children, And they have different strategies to help you be accepted and to fit into your world. So they tend to internalize the values and beliefs of the culture that you grow up in. So common manager strategies include planning, Problem solving, Fixing, People pleasing, Being responsible for others, An inner critic or judge, Perfectionist. So the more trauma and pain that you internalize, The more rigid and controlling these managers can become. And they tend to be really active and strong in people diagnosed with anxiety disorders. The second type of protector part are called firefighters. So while managers tend to be more proactive, Firefighters are more reactive and impulsive. Sometimes their strategies can be kind of destructive and wreak havoc in your life. So think about things like rage, Anger, Addictions. So when a pain is triggered, This part of you comes in as your kind of last line of defense to try to put out that emotional fire. So the strategies that they have may be extreme. They can distract, They can dissociate, They might over consume alcohol, Food, Drugs, They might be gambling or online shopping, Whatever they can do to soothe the pain of that exile. So in IFS, We say that all parts have a positive intention. And that's what we really look for when we're coming into relationship with these protectors, Is how are they trying to help you, Even if they might be causing harm in your life? So IFS is a really unique type of therapy because not only do we bring compassion to our vulnerable exiles, But we also bring compassion to these protectors and to the firefighters that are really used to getting a lot of criticism and judgment from both us and from the people around us, Even the people who are trying to help. So understanding these parts, Positive intention is really important, Which brings me next to the process for healing trauma in the IFS model. Now, IFS is a relational model, So it helps you to deepen your relationship with yourself, To access more self-compassion, And really to change the way that you relate to your own pain. So the first thing that we do in the IFS process is to come into relationship with your managers. People often start with a part of them that wants to get rid of their pain, That wants to cope with it, That wants to problem solve. So an IFS therapist helps you get to know these parts through accessing your self-energy. That's your most curious, Most authentic and compassionate self. So when you can access your self-energy with the support of a therapist, You get curious about these protectors and learn to appreciate how they're trying to help you. And this is how we can safely go to our exiles is by getting permission from the protectors. So in a lot of types of trauma therapy, They don't understand these protective parts and they may bypass them to reprocess traumatic memories. And I meet a lot of people who have a lot of backlash afterwards. So their protector parts can get upset because they've been protecting these exiles. And when you go directly to them without permission, That can lead to this phenomenon of backlash, Which may feel like like feeling worse after therapy sessions, Especially for long periods of time that really shouldn't be happening. So this coming into relationship with your protectors is part of what makes IFS very safe as a trauma therapy and trauma healing modality. Now, Once you get permission from your protectors, Because you've built up this trusting relationship with them, And they allow you permission, You can go to these vulnerable exiles, Where they show you the events that happened and what their experience was. They share their pain with you. And you have the opportunity to be there for them in a way that they needed but didn't get. So IFS gives you the opportunity to show up for yourself in a way that you needed but didn't get. And once these parts have been fully witnessed by you when you're in the space of openness and compassion, We offer them the opportunity to unburden. So they can actually release this pain that they've been carrying and the limiting belief. And when they do that, They're free to reclaim qualities that they may have been disconnected from or choose new qualities that they'd like to take on. Because the thing is, You can't only repress or exile your pain. When these parts get sent into exile, You also become disconnected from aspects of your true nature, Qualities like innocence, Playfulness, Joy, Presence. So we become disconnected from these qualities in the process of trauma. And when we unburden our exiles, We're able to reclaim those aspects of our authentic self. And we become more whole as individuals. We can feel more of our own self-energy, More of that calm, Compassionate, Creative, Playful, Joyful energy that exists inside of all of us that hasn't been wounded by these difficult traumatic life events the way that your excels and your protectors have been. So that brings me back to this concept of inner conflict. So how do we resolve an inner conflict in IFS? We listen to the parts involved with openness and curiosity. So if there's a part of you that's thinking about leaving a situation or relationship or a job, You can listen to the part or parts of you who really want you to leave and to the part or parts of you who aren't ready yet. And that way we can make self-led decisions when you've heard all parts of you and all of their perspectives. So you're really honoring yourself and the many different perspectives that exist inside of you and create the beautiful human that you are. I'd love to hear from you. What protector are you the most curious to get to know?