Things that I wish I knew before getting into a relationship so that I could be as ready as possible.
Number 18.
Learn each other's love languages.
Have you ever tried to love someone well?
Best you can,
Only to hear.
.
.
I'm not really feeling loved here.
That may be because the way we like to express and receive acts of love has different languages.
The five love languages are helpful in understanding how each of us wants to give and receive love.
And ways that we can do so more effectively.
And they include.
.
.
Words of affirmation,
Quality time,
Acts of service,
Receiving gifts,
And physical touch.
Most people value all five.
I mean,
Who wouldn't?
But some acts of love feel more meaningful to us than others.
So the challenge is that we usually give love in the way that we want to receive it.
For example,
One partner may run errands,
Solve problems,
And clean the house to show love.
The other may simply want 20 minutes of uninterrupted pure attention.
Both people may care about each other deeply,
But still can feel disconnected.
Conscious relationship asks us to look beyond our intention and consider our actual relational impact,
How we're being received.
Because what we intend and what we deliver aren't the same thing.
Because someone else is interpreting our intention and our actions through their own subjective lens.
So if we're experiencing this loss of communion,
Instead of saying something like,
You're always too busy to just be with me,
We can say instead,
Wasting quality time with you,
Which converts blame into vulnerability.
But your love language should never become a demand or a task for the other person.
Instead,
Think of it as a tool for understanding,
Not as a way to make your partner responsible for all your emotional needs.
We don't want to install our partners as our happiness managers.
I guarantee that only leads to unhappiness,
Because they'll never really be able to read your mind enough to live up to your expectations.
Title of happiness manager for ourselves and just learn to communicate more clearly what we need and want.
Because mature love is not only about giving what comes naturally to you,
It's about learning how to love in ways that are best received by the person beside you.
We have to learn how to love the one we're with.
The way that they want to be loved.
Rather than assuming that our way is just the right way,
Or me being myself,
And that should be enough.
Love is always a translation game.
Intention becomes an attempt at delivery,
Which is an attempt at connection,
And love can easily get lost in translation.
But if both people are willing to learn each other's language,
To love them the way they want to be loved.
.
.
And,
As long as it's authentically reasonable what they're requesting to us.
.
.
Then why wouldn't we try to deliver what's best for them?
To learn to love them.
The way that they understand love to be.
As long as it's,
Again,
Authentic to us.
Love has to be more than something we feel.
It has to be something we do.
Come learn more about spiritual partnerships by joining me on my course.
Search Insight Timer for The Art of Love,
How to Create Spiritual Partnerships.
I'll see you there.
