I'm glad you're here.
However you've arrived for this,
And whatever state you're arriving in,
This is a meditation about being in yourself.
Not a better version of yourself.
Not a calmer one.
Not one who's doing this right.
Just you,
Located for the next little while.
Before we go any further,
You don't need to be still for this.
If you want to rock,
Stim,
Pace,
Fidget,
Lie down,
Curl up,
Or move in whatever way your body mind wants to move,
That's not a departure from this meditation.
That's you doing it well.
Movement can stay with you the entire way through.
You also don't need to close your eyes if that's not accessible or comfortable for you right now.
Soft focus on a point in the room works just as well.
Let's start with a quick check-in.
Not to change anything,
Just to notice where you are.
Find one thing you can hear right now.
It might be my voice.
It might be something in the room or outside it.
You don't need to name what it means or whether you like it or not,
Just notice that it's there.
Find one thing you can feel making contact with your body.
The floor,
A chair,
A blanket,
Your own hands,
Weight,
Pressure,
Temperature,
Texture.
Whatever's easiest to notice.
That's it.
That's the whole check-in.
You're here and you've just confirmed it with two of your sensors.
If at any point later in this meditation you feel far away,
Foggy or unreal,
You can come back to this same check-in.
Sound,
Then contact,
As many times as you need.
For the rest of this meditation,
You're going to have something to come back to whenever your attention drifts,
Which it will,
And that's fine.
But instead of telling you it has to be your breath,
I want to offer you some options because breath isn't a reliable or comfortable anchor for everyone and it has to be comfortable to be the default.
You could anchor in a sound the Hanover device.
Traffic outside.
Silence itself,
Which has its own texture.
You could anchor in a weight or pressure.
The parts of you that are being held up by something else right now.
A chair,
A bed,
The ground.
You could anchor in temperature the air on your skin.
Warmth from a mug,
Coolness from a window.
You could anchor in texture,
Such as the fabric under your hands and the surface you're resting on.
Or you could anchor in sight,
One object nearby,
Held in soft,
Unfocused attention.
You could also anchor with a fidget toy or an object that you hold in your hands.
Take a moment and pick one.
Not the one you think you're supposed to pick,
The one that's actually easiest to find right now.
Good.
That's yours for this session.
Breath can join the list if it's genuinely useful for you.
But it isn't the main event,
And nothing about this meditation depends on you controlling it.
Being present in yourself doesn't mean feeling something specific.
It doesn't mean arriving at calm or clarity or any particular emotional destination.
It just means noticing what's actually here,
In this moment,
In this body-mind,
Without immediately trying to translate it into a feeling word or decide what it means.
So notice something in your body right now.
It might be tension somewhere.
It might be looseness.
It might be a temperature.
A pressure,
A buzzing,
A stillness,
Or nothing you can easily describe at all.
Whatever's there is allowed to just be a sensation.
It doesn't need a name and it definitely doesn't need to be sorted into good or bad before you're allowed to notice it.
If a thought shows up about what this sensation means,
Or whether you are doing this right,
Or what you should be feeling instead.
You can let that thought pass by.
It's not wrong for being there,
It's just not what we're doing right now.
Being present in yourself is not the same as being present in a mood or a story or a version of events.
It's closer to being present in your location.
Like checking in on where you are on a map without needing to explain how you got there or where you're going next.
If you're moving right now,
Rocking,
Tapping,
Shifting,
That movement can be part of your location too.
Notice the movement itself.
Its rhythm,
Its weight,
Its repetition.
You don't have to stop it to be present.
The movement can be where you are.
This is your body,
In this space,
At this time.
Nothing here needs fixing in order to be noticed.
Noticing comes first.
Fixing,
If it's even needed,
Can come later,
Or not at all.
Let's come back to where we started.
One thing you can hear.
One thing you can feel making contact with your body.
You are still here.
That was always true.
Even while your attention was elsewhere,
This is just confirming it again.
As we come toward the end of this,
I want to be clear about something.
You don't need to feel any particular way right now.
You don't need to feel more relaxed than when you started.
You don't need to feel more present than you did before,
Whatever that would even mean for you.
If something in you feels different,
That's fine.
If nothing feels different,
That's also fine.
Presence isn't a performance with a required outcome.
It's just contact with what's actually happening and you've already had that on your own terms for the last several minutes.
Whatever you're carrying into the rest of your day or night,
You're allowed to carry it exactly as it is.
This wasn't about putting it down.
It was about knowing for a few minutes that you're the one carrying it.
Located.
Specific.
Your anchor,
Sound,
Weight,
Temperature,
Texture,
Sight,
Is available to you anytime you want to find your location again,
Not just in meditation,
But in the middle of a meeting,
On a train,
In the loud part of your day,
That anchor is yours now.
Take one more moment with your anchor,
However you are accessing it right now.
When you're ready,
And there's no particular pace required,
You can let your attention widen back out to the rest of the room,
The rest of your day,
At whatever speed feels right for you.
Thank you for spending this time here with yourself.
That's this session's practice,
And you've done it.
