This is a 20-minute guided meditation called Being at Home with Your Genders.
I'm Andy Hoyer.
I'm going to invite you to find a place to sit or lie down.
To meditate.
A quiet place.
A place that will allow you to feel.
Relatively safe and relaxed.
But also,
To maintain some alertness.
So that you can really experience yourself.
So in a moment,
I'll ring the bell.
And see if he can allow the bell to remind you.
That this is a hard practice,
A practice for you.
Practice that's really just there,
You being there for yourself.
Now to begin.
See if you can feel just the weight of your body.
If you're sitting in a chair,
The.
.
.
The weight of your butt sitting on the chair.
If your feet are on the ground,
You can feel the gravity.
Of your feet.
Your feet are pushing down into the earth and the earth is supporting your feet.
Maybe your legs are resting on a cushion.
And you can feel the contact with the cushion.
See if you can cultivate just that earthiness.
Of being you.
Now see if you can turn your attention to your breath.
It's helpful to Take a few deep breaths.
Just to see if you can relax a little bit.
And allow the tension from your body.
To loosen up a little bit.
And there's different ways to be with your breath.
You can feel your belly expanding and contracting.
You can feel the air coming in and out of your nose.
Now I invite you to see if you can experience the breath in a slightly different way than maybe you've done before.
And that's just to see.
How your body.
.
.
Feels as your breath comes in and it goes out.
Your whole body expanding a little bit.
And contracting a little bit.
And there might be places in your body that are.
.
.
In having some tension or some pain.
See if you can broaden your attention.
Beyond those places to encompass your whole body.
Maybe you can notice your breathing slowing a little bit.
As your body relaxes.
However your body is in this moment,
It's just the way it is and it's fine.
See if you can.
Now use your imagination.
We're going to imagine being with our genders.
It's you and your genders.
However they're manifesting.
You might imagine.
That you're curled up with them in front of a cozy fire.
Under a soft blanket.
Maybe there's a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows by your side.
Maybe there's a favorite pet snuggling with you.
Your intention here is to create a scene in your mind and in your heart.
That is a safe and loving space for your genders.
If you'd like to,
You can invite them.
To relax and to appear openly with you.
You can say to yourself.
You're loved here.
Now at some point in this meditation,
You might experience a voice that's somewhat critical.
And that voice.
Is okay.
They're just doing.
What they need.
To try to protect you.
And you can just say,
Thank you,
But I'm safe and loved here right now.
And turn your attention back to the scene that you've created.
Now maybe you've invited your genders to appear,
But they don't want to.
And that's OK,
Too.
Maybe they're just shy.
If you're like me,
Your genders have had to endure a lot of shaming in the past.
They need to feel extra safe in order to appear.
It's enough for now just to invite them.
To offer friendship.
Eventually,
They will want to peek out and see what all this friendliness is about.
Now,
If you can visualize your genders.
Or even if you can't.
You'd like to think of,
What would they be?
How would they appear?
If they did show up.
How would I experience them?
To the common images.
Do your genders inhabit parts of your body?
What do they feel like?
How do they sound?
Do you sound different depending on what gender you are?
Feeling most connected with in the moment.
Do your genders have a scent?
What do they smell like?
Do they have different personalities?
If you can touch them,
Are they smooth,
Like leaves?
Or furry?
Or feathered.
Are they hard and shiny like metal?
Do your genders have a spiritual quality to them?
A sense that they are sacred and eternal.
Do they behave like unruly children sometimes?
These are all questions,
But there's no requirement to have any answers.
The invitation is just to ask in a loving way.
Who are you?
This is also an inquiry that has no rush to it.
Invitation is that this is an experience to have in queer time.
Where we are all physically and emotionally present.
We don't have to be in straight time for this,
Where everything has to be productive and reproductive.
Just be in your senses.
And focus on the experience from your heart.
The invitation is also to trust yourself.
If you're like me,
You've had trauma around your genders.
And sometimes it's hard to trust myself.
Remember also,
You're not alone.
There are lots of people.
Who are questioning their genders.
Exploring them.
And we're together holding this space for each other.
There are people like you committed to treating each other and their genders with love and care.
Maybe take a moment.
And appreciate.
That there is a collective kindness and compassion.
To all of us genderqueer people.
In a moment.
I'll ring the bell again.
And invite you.
To see if you can.
Go through the day.
Just noticing.
If there are any clues.
To your genders.
Do they show themselves?
In certain contexts.
With certain people.
May your practice benefit you.
And to everyone that you come in contact with today.
May all beings be free.
