How Is Your Habit Serving You?

00:30

03:45

How Is Your Habit Serving You?

by Zachary Phillips

Rated

5

Type

talks

Activity

Meditation

Suitable for

Everyone

Plays

29

If you are looking to release (quit) a long held habit, it is important to recognise what that habit is doing for you. Ask yourself, what is it helping you to feel? Or perhaps not feel? The first step is awareness. Become aware of the intricacies of what you are doing and why. Then accept it. This is truth and denying it will keep you trapped in the loop you are currently stuck in. Finally take action to substitute the habit with something less harmful, more value aligned, or perhaps introspect (perhaps with therapy) to see what is at the core of the habit.

Habit Change Acceptance Self Inquiry Self Compassion Personal Growth

Meet your Teacher

Zachary Phillips

Melbourne VIC, Australia

Meet your Teacher

Zachary Phillips

Melbourne VIC, Australia

Transcript

So let's talk releasing or quitting of a habit. There may be a lot of things that we're holding onto that we're doing, Behaviors or processes internally or externally that are no longer serving. So we recognize that we don't like what this thing is that we're doing. It is doing something bad. We don't like it. So we want to release it. But we've tried, And for whatever reason, We can't. Fact that we can't just stop the behavior. Tells us something. And this is an important fact. It tells us that that behavior that we want to quit, That we want to release, Is giving us something. So unless we look at what it's giving us, The positive benefits, Even though the behavior itself might overall be negative, What is the positive benefit of the behavior? What is it giving us? Or perhaps rather, What is it stopping us from feeling? Now, Whatever the behavior is, Whatever the habit is that you would like to release, The fact that you can't just let it go. Tells you it's doing something for you. So the first question is, How is this behavior serving me? What is it giving me? What is it helping me to feel or to do or to be? What is it helping me not to feel? What is it helping me to avoid? If you can answer that question, You're well on the way. But once you've answered that question, The behavior, The habit is giving you something. It's like, Okay. What can I do instead? What can I replace? That is a more positive behavior. Or a more positive way of thought? Or can I intervene into that space? That will give me the same feeling or help me to avoid the same things that costs me less negativity in the long run. Or more, More importantly, Can I introspect, Self-heal, Analyze, Process, Do the self-work, Do the therapy to figure out what that base need is? Because that's really what it is. We're avoiding something or we're getting something, Right? Can we turn our attention inwards and go, Hey, What is this? Let's process it. Let's dig deep into that space. So this is the inner work. This is the self-work. All healing comes from a three-step process. Awareness, Acceptance, And then action. We become aware. Okay, We don't like this habit. I'm aware of that. I'm aware of what it's giving me or what it's helping me not to feel. I'm aware of this whole entire process. Have to accept it. I accept that this is what's happening. These are the feelings that are arising. These are the behaviors that are happening in response. Okay, I accept it. So then I take value aligned action. I do the self-work. I see the therapist. I find a different behavior that I can put there instead, And I go through this process again. Has the habits changed or tweaked? Am I doing better than I was? What's arising now? I'm aware of the new situation. I accept the new situation. Now, Acceptance doesn't mean you like it. It just means you accept the reality as it is for what it is right now. And then you take value aligned action again, And you keep going through that process. So how is this behavior serving? What can you replace it with? And look internally to really unpick that deep knot. And remember, Habit change takes time. As you start to quit, As you start to release, You will be successful. But then you might make a mistake. You might lapse. That's okay. Use it as a learning opportunity. A lapse doesn't have to go into a full relapse where you just lose yourself. You made a mistake. That's okay. Why? Awareness. Acceptance of the fact, And then value aligned action to address that mistake.