The Tree Remembers What The Axe Forgets

In this session we contemplate the saying, 'The tree remembers what the axe forgets', using it as a warning of the impact of our actions upon other people and theirs upon ours - it offers a guide on how to treat people and why we should always lean into kindness.

This track is taken from my course, ‘Live Your Most Fulfilling Life’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello,

And welcome to the session.

I invite you to take a seat,

Or lie down,

And get yourself comfortable.

You can close down the eyes if you wish,

And take a deep,

Slow breath,

In through the nose,

And out through the mouth.

In a moment,

I'm going to share with you a proverb,

Aphorism,

Idiom,

Or saying for you to contemplate.

And I invite you to do so as deeply as possible,

To look beyond your initial,

Default reaction to it,

And to consider it from all sides.

To be open to it guiding you,

Encouraging you,

And informing you of potential knowledge,

Insights,

And wisdom that might be lying just below the surface.

Our goal with each of these daily contemplations is to use the session to acquire a deeper understanding of ourself,

The world,

And our place within it.

So let's take another slow,

Deep breath,

In through the nose,

And out through the mouth,

And consider the following.

The tree remembers what the axe forgets.

The tree remembers what the axe forgets.

So this saying,

The tree remembers what the axe forgets,

To me is a warning of our actions,

Our impacts upon other people,

And theirs upon ours.

It speaks to mental health,

It speaks to relationships,

It speaks to our connection with the earth itself.

The symbolism is stark.

You know,

The axe cuts down the tree,

And the tree is gone.

But the axe,

Well,

The axe remains.

And it's important to sort of taper this discussion with an understanding of memory.

Memory is a fickle and an interesting thing.

I've spoken on this before,

And I've had some pushback,

But there is truth to the idea that memories aren't perfect.

So whenever we're playing in the memory space,

We need to be aware that what we remember may be different to what the other person remembers,

Which also may be different to the objective realities of what happened.

And there's countless studies that sort of highlight the fallibility of memory.

But with that sort of caveat out of the way,

It almost isn't important to sort of,

I guess,

Dwell on the objective versus subjective nature of memory.

Because this sort of saying that the tree remembers what the axe forgets,

Highlights the sort of feelings we have in response to events.

It doesn't matter what you did or what you say,

It matters how you made them feel,

So to speak.

So let's sit in that space and really dive into this one.

It is very easy to go through our lives from a solipsistic perspective.

The idea that we alone are conscious,

That we alone matter.

I think that humans and all life has an innate personal-based bias.

We put ourselves first.

Why?

Because that trait is beneficial to the propagation of the species.

If we were all to put everyone else in front of ourselves,

Then we wouldn't have a self-sustaining drive.

Now,

Yes,

I understand there is a contradiction here that together we can thrive a lot better than individually.

Collectively,

We are a social species and cooperation has helped us build beyond any other animal in existence ever.

But there is also a selfishness,

A need to look after ourselves,

A self-preservation aspect.

Obviously,

Things are all interlinked.

But the reality is that we only ever see the world,

The universe,

Life,

Experience through our own perspective.

I see through my eyes,

I hear through my ears,

I feel through my body.

I feel my own pain.

I can only imagine yours,

Right?

I think my own thoughts.

But the only way I can access yours is if you tell me or show me,

Right?

We are inherently biased towards ourselves.

We see our full story,

But only see the highlight real that other people choose to share us.

This is particularly true online,

But also in real life.

I'm privy to my inner world,

Not yours.

We can bridge this gap via communication,

Via empathy,

Via sympathy,

Via all of these things.

But ultimately,

You only get your own view.

And this can make it hard to sort of see,

Understand,

Even know our impact upon other people.

The reason I'm saying all of this is that you may have been the axe to another person's tree without even realizing it.

I can think of many,

Many occasions that in the moment,

I said or did something that felt innocuous.

But a while down the road,

I discover that someone took offense,

Or that I hurt someone,

Or that my actions detrimentally impacted someone significantly.

This was all unintended.

It was all accidental.

It was unknown.

But nonetheless,

Something that I did thoughtlessly,

Carelessly,

Offhandedly,

Hurt others.

And conversely,

That has happened to me.

People have said,

Done,

Been things,

Policy changes,

Whatever.

And I've been detrimentally impacted to an extent that was well beyond the intent of the other person.

I'm not trying to say like,

You know,

Be on guard to your impacts all the time,

Forever.

But just be aware that how you are interpreting events and things may not be the full story.

In the same way that memories can be fallible,

So too can our interpretations of events be fallible.

Take sarcasm.

When I was teaching in classrooms,

Learning to be a teacher,

I was warned,

Never use sarcasm in a classroom.

Similarly,

When I coach and counsel people,

Both in person and online,

Never be sarcastic.

Same thing with kids.

Maybe not never,

Because they got to learn what sarcasm is,

But be aware that in all of those circumstances,

Sarcasm can be taken literally.

And what may seem obvious to you,

The one delivering the sarcasm,

May not be fully understood.

Anyone in a position of power,

Speaking sarcastically,

May be misinterpreted.

Why?

Because although it's obvious to you,

It's not necessarily obvious to them.

This is true for everything,

Every sort of emotionality,

Every sort of interaction.

It's obvious to you because you're the one delivering it,

And it makes sense based on your historical context,

What you've learned,

How you've interacted,

Etc.

But other people don't have that experience,

They don't have your culture,

They don't have your life experience.

So they may interpret it differently.

And you might be speaking innocuously,

But they may be interpreting it quite significantly.

So pausing that idea now and moving more into the realm of direct action.

There's an unfortunate truth,

I guess,

That life can involve conflict,

That sometimes there is a struggle for resources,

Interpersonal resources,

Attention,

Time,

Money,

Space.

This occurs on all levels,

Between siblings in families,

Communities,

Countries,

Races,

Genders,

Businesses.

There is conflict.

The natural world has limited resources,

But unlimited wants.

This is the problem of economics,

Right?

We're trying to solve unlimited wants with limited resources.

Thus,

When we interact with people,

At times,

Us getting what we want causes someone else to not we want,

Causes someone else to not get what they want.

If you have a business,

If you work for a business,

That sort of logic makes sense.

If your business gets a client,

Another business doesn't,

Right?

The point of all of this is that you will impact other people.

The very fact that you exist on this earth will cause you to impact other people positively,

Negatively,

And sort of unknowingly,

To make up a word.

I mean,

Even me speaking these words to you right now is impacting you in some capacity.

I do my best to speak as balanced as possible here,

To speak in a way that is not triggering,

In a way that makes sense,

In a way that uplifts you.

Nonetheless,

Sometimes,

Not much,

But sometimes I get feedback where people are vehemently opposed to what I've said,

When people are hurt by what I've said.

In a sense,

I've been the axe to their tree,

Unknowingly.

Whereas,

Those same words,

Those same poems,

Those same interactions to other people have uplifted them.

Unintentional,

Yes,

But nonetheless,

That proverbial tree is still chopped down.

I guess the final place that I want to take this concept to is is when people are directly being aggressive,

Directly provoking,

Directly out for themselves,

Directly being mean.

It's all too easy to say and do things,

But the person that those things are said and done against remembers.

Yeah,

They hold on to it.

If you've ever been slighted,

Hurt,

Or worse,

It's far harder to forget it than it is when you're on the other end,

When you're dishing it out.

Pain feels more real when you're experiencing it,

Right?

So I guess this whole talk is a warning.

It's a warning and a sort of a caution.

It's like,

Hey,

Be aware.

You can impact other people just as they can impact you.

And the person that is on the receiving end of things remembers more.

And I guess just sort of as I'm wrapping up here,

There is a positive aspect to this sort of warning-based aphorism,

Saying,

Phrase,

Whatever we're going for here.

The tree remembers what the axe forgets.

Well,

Let's flip it.

What if you did something good,

Just randomly did something good,

Something just offhandedly,

Just acted in a way that was just nice?

You know,

Holding the door open for someone,

Offering someone an umbrella,

You know,

All the way up to charitable donations,

All of these things,

Just making that a part of you and your personality,

Then you're putting that energy out into the world.

And wouldn't that be a beautiful thing?

Let them remember that,

Hey?

And I guess the final,

Final thing would be a more spiritual sort of soul-based understanding of the axe.

The axe might forget what the tree remembers,

But over time,

That axe gets dulled.

The more that the axe chops down trees,

The more it breaks.

And over time,

That axe will become dull and useless,

Or it will shatter.

And there's something sort of spiritual,

Deep about that idea.

Yes,

That person,

That thing,

Can cause a lot of damage.

But eventually,

That damage,

Those actions,

Those words will destroy it.

It's something to consider.

So let's sit with the saying,

The tree remembers what the axe forgets.

The tree remembers what the axe forgets.

So,

Well done.

This brings us to the end of the session.

At the bottom of your screen,

You'll see an option to view the classroom,

Or to ask a question.

Before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,

To read answers from other students,

And to hear my replies.

Remember to start your responses by restating the contemplation.

In this case,

The tree remembers.

So we all know which one you are referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight.

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track is taken from my course,

Live Your Most Fulfilling Life.

It's out now on Insight Timer,

And is available via my profile.

I invite you to check it out.

See you there.