The Golden Rule

In this session we contemplate the saying, 'Do to others as you would have them do to you', using it to discuss morality, how we should act in all circumstances, and perhaps how we should treat others. This track is taken from my course, ‘Live Your Most Fulfilling Life’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the session.

I invite you to take a seat or lie down and get yourself comfortable.

You can close down the eyes if you wish and take a deep slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.

In a moment I'm going to share with you a proverb,

Aphorism,

Idiom or saying for you to contemplate and I invite you to do so as deeply as possible.

To look beyond your initial default reactions to it and to consider it from all sides.

To be open to it guiding you,

Encouraging you and informing you of potential knowledge,

Insights and wisdom that may be lying just below the surface.

Our goal with each of these daily contemplations is to use this session to acquire a deeper understanding of ourself,

The world and our place within it.

So let's take another slow deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth and consider the following.

The golden rule.

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

So this idea,

The golden rule,

Do to others as you would have them do to you,

Has I guess biblical overtones but in my mind it serves as a single sentence moral code.

This is sort of the place I want to take it and I think it's something that can be done or can be used for any of us regardless of your religious,

Spiritual or lack of beliefs.

Atheists and believers alike can heed this wisdom and use it appropriately and that's important because if you think about it,

What is the right thing to do?

What is the best form of morality?

Now this isn't something I expect an answer back for and indeed if you did answer back quickly being like this is the right thing or this is how you act,

I would be a little bit concerned and I would probably pull back a little bit because if anyone says to you this is how you should act,

This is the right way to act with extreme confidence.

They are either a PhD in philosophy or potentially a zealot with some kind of super strong belief system.

The first,

Listen to,

Consider,

Contemplate.

The second,

May be pushing you or themselves or the world down a path that is aligned with their worldview that may or may not be actually quote-unquote good but once again how do you know what good is?

There are many different ways to consider what a good act is.

Do you do the greatest good for the greatest number,

You know a utilitarian approach?

Is it the idea that the ends justify the means?

So as long as the end is good,

How you get there is fine.

Do intentions matter?

Does it matter what you intended versus the results?

You look at different martial arts practices or different social groups,

Different military groups and they all have different codes of honor and ethics and values.

So what do you follow?

How do you act?

How do you know what to do?

How do you know that what you say and do is appropriate?

And once again if someone has a belief system,

If they're religious,

If they follow a tradition strictly,

Oftentimes those belief systems tell you how to act.

You know the belief systems tell you how to act.

You know the ten commandments or you know what is haram or the noble eightfold path,

The Bushido code.

There's a lot of things and a lot of places that tell you how to act and if you believe in those things,

If you are a follower,

Then how to act in everyday situations is sort of spelled out for you.

It's like okay this is what God tells me I shouldn't do.

This is what the society I live in believes to be true.

Fine.

There can be questions as to the true ethics of those belief systems but at least you have guidance.

Law can act as a guiding force telling you what is and is not appropriate.

Well the law says I should do this therefore that is what I'm going to do.

That's an okay way to live provided you live in a safe,

Fair,

Righteous,

Morally appropriate country.

Right.

But how are we judging this?

Because now we're getting into the idea of moral relativism.

What you believe to be right may just be a function of the time and place that you're born.

If you were born in medieval China or ancient Rome or some other place in time,

What you view as correct and right and true would not be the same as your belief systems now.

Different time frames,

Different technologies,

Different religions,

Different education systems,

Different societal values will change what you believe to be right.

The laws of those societies will change.

Thus how do we know how to act?

How do we know what is a good and right and okay thing to do?

Now all of this might seem a little bit silly to contemplate.

Like why is Zach spending this time knowing you know what to do,

What not to do,

All of that sort of stuff.

Just do good.

I feel that response and it sort of leans towards intuition.

Most of us have an intuitive sense of what is right and wrong.

Most of us have an idea of what we should do.

The problem with trusting our intuition or these sort of feelings solely is that humans have innate biases that we sometimes struggle to overcome or to even be aware of.

We have a tendency to for example donate to the charity that helps the people closest to us,

Not really considering the value for money.

For example,

One dollar donated to a dog pound in your neighborhood versus that same dollar going to help build wells in a country that doesn't have access to clean running water.

Which one is more beneficial to society?

Helping install mosquito nets versus the creation of an outdoor play space for local teens.

I'm not saying which one you should or shouldn't donate to but it's clear which one will have the greatest benefit for society,

Which one would save most lives.

But a lot of us have a bias towards only helping those closest to us.

You can look up moral dilemmas,

You can look up biases and you'll see just how sort of flawed the human is in its decision making,

In its desire to help.

We tend to help those closest to us and those that look most like us.

That might raise a few heckles but the evidence is there and I'm not saying it's good.

In fact,

I'm saying it is not good.

It's distinctively bad that we can't step outside ourselves,

Can't step outside the conditioning and the evolutionary aspects that we find ourselves in and yet that's the nature of it.

The reason I'm saying all of these things is to say this,

The idea of doing onto others as we'd have them do to ourselves is a simple way of viewing morality and it can hold quite true in most circumstances.

Do to others as we'd have them do to ourselves.

Yeah,

Should you say these words?

Should you do these actions?

Should you donate in this way or that way?

What should you do in each situation?

Well,

How would you like to be treated that way?

That's the answer.

Well,

That's a answer.

Now,

I'm not saying that you should follow this as your primary driving moral code but it's one that you can consider at least initially but it's important to dive into this concept of the golden rule,

Doing to others as you would have them do to yourself because there's a simplistic way of looking at it and the simplistic way is treating people exactly how you want to be treated,

Right?

I like this,

Therefore that's what I'll do or give to other people.

Fair enough but the problem is that who you are isn't the same as who the other person is and they don't want to be treated in exactly the way that you want to be treated.

The deeper way of looking at it is considering that you would like to be treated as an individual.

You'd like to be seen and heard and understood and supported in a way that helps you,

Right?

So,

You may really enjoy direct specific advice.

Tell me what to do and I'll do it sort of thing.

Come over and help me work on this project,

Fix it for me.

So,

Maybe naively that's how you think that other people want support but then you start offering it to them and they push back,

They get aggressive,

They get upset,

They get annoyed.

You're like,

What's going on here?

I'm doing,

I'm giving,

I'm being what I would want in this situation but with some emotional IQ but the application of some emotional IQ,

The idea of getting into their shoes,

You might start to see that,

Well,

They don't want that same sort of help delivered in the same sort of way but they do want help.

Yeah,

The golden rule might say,

Well,

They need help so help them but how can you help them?

The way that you can help them is by giving them the help that they need in a way that they can receive it.

Some people want that direct specific guidance or support,

Other people want resources,

Other people want just to be,

You know,

Encouraged,

Supported,

Being told that they're doing a good job and what people want can change over time,

Right?

The reason I'm saying all of this is that you do unto others as you would have them do to you.

If that's offering support and help,

Do it in a way that they would appreciate,

Not just in your own way,

That's the deeper way of approaching it.

What about other actions,

You know,

In business,

In life,

In,

You know,

How you look after your house and how you raise your children?

This same thing can be applied down all of those paths but I think it warrants or it's necessary to look a little bit deeper.

Should you purposely in your business attempt to put out another person out of business?

You've got a business,

A shop and next door to you is a shop that offers the same stuff,

You're in direct competition.

If you get clientele,

They don't,

If they get clientele,

You don't,

You're in direct competition with someone.

What should you do?

Well,

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,

Right?

That leads to competition now,

Doesn't it?

It leads to attack,

It leads to price wars,

It leads to berating and demeaning the other person,

Potentially.

I'm just wondering is there a way that you can thread the needle and work together,

Diversify your offerings?

And if not,

Can you operate in a way that isn't so conflicted?

Or alternatively,

Can you accept,

Well,

Okay,

In this position,

In this job,

In this role,

I'm going to get after that other person,

I'm going to do to them and I expect them to do it back to me.

Professional sports players face this problem,

Yeah?

They're going to try and perform and be their best,

Full well-knowing that they expect it back.

Indeed,

The very nature of their career is defined by that.

If the other person didn't give back to them with full force of effort,

Then the whole system would fall,

Sport would become irrelevant.

None of the things in this course are set in stone commandments,

And something as simple as do unto others as you'd have them do to you is,

I think,

A signpost,

A guidepost towards a deeper level of moral understanding and interaction.

But it's something that can be used as a starting point.

It's like,

Okay,

When I'm not sure how to act,

I will do to others as I would have them do to me.

You notice people gossiping,

It's like,

Would I want to be gossiped about?

Would if this was happening to me or about me,

Would I appreciate that?

No?

Okay,

Then maybe I should make a different choice.

Should I litter the environment here?

Would I like it if other people did that?

Probably not,

I should probably stop.

Should I make an ethical choice with what I buy?

Should I buy products that are good for the environment,

Both the human and the natural?

Or should I just buy whatever?

Should I interact with people focusing on a kind and love and joy?

Or should I critique?

Well,

What do I want from the world?

Maybe I should start there and do that back.

And that way,

I'm in my own small way,

Making a world that is a little bit more in line with what I would want to receive back.

There's something there.

So,

I ask you to consider the golden rule.

Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

So,

Well done.

This brings us to the end of the session.

At the bottom of your screen,

You'll see an option to view the classroom or to ask a question.

Before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,

To read the answers from other students,

And to hear my replies.

Remember to start your responses by restating the contemplation,

In this case,

The golden rule,

So we all know which one you are referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight,

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track is taken from my course,

Live Your Most Fulfilling Life.

It's out now on InsightTimer and is available via my profile.

I invite you to check it out.

See you there.