It is all on you.
The first and most important principle to grasp and embody if you want to move from surviving to thriving is that it is all on you.
Your life is your responsibility and no one is coming to save you.
Things may have happened,
You may have been born in a certain place or in a certain way,
With certain privileges or lack of.
There might be certain health conditions,
Mental issues,
Familial or relational troubles.
Maybe there will be environmental impacts or other things that will put you at a disadvantage.
Regardless of everything,
It is still on you.
This isn't a matter of fairness.
This isn't a matter of what is right or just or what should be.
It is stark acceptance of reality.
I'm speaking from experience.
I moved out of home at 16 due to a challenging childhood.
I didn't ask for what happened to happen.
I would never have wanted the impacts on my physical and mental health to be there.
But the reality is that my past happened and I am me now.
And the only one that can fix the problem,
The only one that has any choice in the matter,
The only one with any agency over any of this is me.
And this revelation hurts.
Part of me wishes I could go back and get the help I needed when I needed it.
Part of me wishes the people that should have helped me would help me now.
But from experience I know that the only true person that can really help me is me.
When I find myself pushed down,
I have to pick myself back up.
No one is coming to save me.
I have to save myself.
It is all on me,
Just like it is all on you.
You chose to press play.
You chose to listen.
Now you can choose to act.
You can choose to respond to the circumstances of your life.
You can choose to respond to your mood and how your mind presents itself every day.
You can choose to respond to the people and the circumstances you are placed in.
When all else is taken away,
You get to choose.
This is pure agency.
This is pure ownership.
This is pure choice.
Now,
I'm not saying to do everything by yourself.
Not at all.
You may need support and friendship and work.
You may need therapy,
Or medicine,
Or coaching.
You may need quite a lot of things,
But you have to be the one to take the action to get those things.
Your friends might invite you out somewhere.
You have to say yes and go.
You might need medicine,
But you have to take yourself to the doctors or arrange for that to happen,
And then you have to take that medicine.
You have to do the daily work of exercise and meditation and eating well and all of the other things necessary to get you the life that you want.
If we're talking about thriving,
You need to put in the work to grow the business,
Or the brand,
Or yourself,
Or the skills,
Or whatever it is,
Because no one else can do the reps for you.
It has to be you.
If you're hiring people,
If you're setting up a process,
It's still on you.
The reason this is the first principle of surviving to thriving is that it is the most fundamental.
Unless you embody the idea that it is on you and that you can take action,
That you can choose how to respond,
Nothing else matters,
Because what's the alternative?
Let's play it the complete opposite direction.
Let's go all the way to the end and put your responsibility on someone else,
On the external.
What then?
Then you're waiting.
You're waiting for the whims of someone else's mood,
Someone else's desires,
Someone else's ability,
Someone else noticing you.
You find yourself in that perpetual victimhood of just waiting for a savior.
Now,
Like I said,
You may need help from other people,
But you have to be the one to find and accept that help.
Chances are someone isn't going to come along and pick you up,
And if they do,
They're not going to stay there for the entire journey of your life.
I fear that a lot of us wish our parents did a better job,
Wish our teachers saw our struggle,
Wish someone external to us could say,
Hey,
I've got you,
I'll help you.
And if they did,
We wish they could have done more.
But ultimately,
No one is there for your full journey except for you.
Ultimately,
It is all on you to take the steps to do what you need to do.
The first principle of surviving to thriving is to accept that fact,
To embody that fact,
To live with and embrace that fact.
And once you start doing that,
You'll start to become excited by it,
Because you'll see that your actions will produce legitimate results.
Your actions can change your circumstances.
It's very easy to think otherwise,
Until you start acting.
But once you start acting,
You start to see that your actions will have real world consequences.
Good,
Bad,
And in between.
If you meditate daily,
Your mind will become clearer.
If you take your medicine,
You will heal.
If you exercise,
Your body will get healthier.
If you spend time with friends that uplift you,
You will be uplifted.
If you work,
You will get money.
If you work to build a brand or a business,
It will grow.
If you work through the rest of these sessions,
You will take yourself from surviving to thriving,
But no one else can do it for you.
I can be your guide.
I can point the way,
I can say,
Hey,
Over there,
That's the way to go.
But you have to take those steps.
We're walking a path of life to a distant mountaintop,
Which is our dreams.
I can point the way,
And so can many other people.
But ultimately,
You have to choose who's going to help you point that way,
Who's going to help you on that path.
And ultimately,
And most importantly,
You have to take those steps.
Because no one's going to save you.
And no one's going to take you that whole way.
And if they did,
It would be their life,
Not yours.
So what this first principle really is talking about is agency.
You have the ability to change the circumstances and the course of your life.
But the first step,
The most pivotal step,
Is to recognize and accept that it is all on you.
It is all on you.
It is all on you.
And that that is in fact,
A good thing.
Make the choice.
This track is taken from my course,
From Surviving to Thriving.
10 Principles to Turn Your Life Around.
It's out now and available on my InsightTimer profile.
I invite you to check it out.
