So I have a problem with language,
With the use of words to communicate.
Now,
Holding space for the irony that I'm delivering this information to you as a talk aside,
Language itself is flawed.
I have an idea that I want to express to you.
It's held within my brain,
My mind space,
Or perhaps in my body as feelings.
Thoughts,
Moods,
Emotions,
Memories,
Anxieties,
And all of the other little subtle nuances that exist within the mind and the body,
Right?
That's what I'm currently experiencing,
But I want to express it to you.
So how do I do that?
Well,
I convert that brain mush into code,
The code being language.
That code is twisted,
Changed,
Manipulated,
Enhanced perhaps through my tone,
My pacing,
My volume,
And if we were in person through my body language.
But ultimately,
No matter how it's delivered,
No matter how perfectly I express it to you,
You're only receiving coded information.
These words come to you and you then deconstruct it back into brain mush,
So to speak.
So whatever I say isn't actually being picked up upon in the way that I want you to pick it up,
Right?
How can it?
You are not me,
You're not experiencing what I'm experiencing,
And the words and the way that I'm delivering it is not perfect.
And indeed,
It's impossible to be perfect because I'm speaking in code.
The issue or the way or the reason that this is so not apparent is that language is so ubiquitous.
We learn through language,
But language is just yet another model of truth.
It's yet another aspect of reality.
It's not reality though.
It's a finger pointing to the moon.
It's code.
But why does this even really matter?
Well,
I'm studying a master of counseling right now.
That's exposing me to a variety of different theories of therapy,
Right?
There's hundreds of them.
And similarly,
I've spent years practicing and studying a variety of different spiritual traditions,
Religious practices.
I've also spent a substantial amount of time introspecting upon the self.
And what I'm realizing is that it seems like the theories of psychology,
Theories of therapy,
The spiritual traditions,
Religions,
Most all of them,
Most all of them are all pointing us to the same space.
They're all pointing us to the same truth.
It's just expressed differently.
Now,
Yes,
Before you jump on and say,
You know,
Your spiritualism,
Your religion,
Your therapy,
Whatever is specific and unique,
I know it is.
They all are.
But if you take a breath and step back and look at the commonalities,
Look at sort of the felt sense of what they're pointing to,
There's a lot of similarities.
It's getting to the stage that I feel like all of it is just a model of actual truth.
Every religion,
Every spiritual tradition,
Every theory of psychology,
Therapy,
All of it,
It's all dealing with the human animal.
It's all dealing with the human condition.
It's all dealing with unlimited wants and limited capacity to fulfill them.
It's all dealing with the reality of life,
The fact that it ends,
The fact that we suffer,
The fact that bad things happen,
The fact that good things happen,
The fact that there is unknowns,
The fact that this is life and we all share it.
But what I think happens is that theories develop,
We get followers,
And over time,
The theories,
And I'm using the word theories,
But this will relate to the traditions and the practices and all of it,
But they become sort of solid or codified or written down.
And this is where you get your holy texts.
It's where you get your practice manuals.
It's where you get reams and reams and reams of theory.
And the scientific method is used to validate scientific findings and theories and therapies.
And there is plenty of introspection and debate and processes used to validate the approach of a lot of spiritual practices.
And indeed,
If there is a holy text that is claimed to be written by a deity or through someone who's in contact with a deity,
It is studied and picked apart and deified itself.
It's followed,
It's believed.
But once again,
All of that is expressed through language.
And if language is self-code,
Then what we're reading is code.
We're not reading the truth.
When a scientist does an experiment,
They have findings,
But the findings are communicated to us through words.
When you feel something spiritually or religiously,
And you want to share it with someone,
It's shared through words.
Maybe not if it's a one-on-one experience.
You meet people that seem to be quite enlightened,
Quite holy,
So to speak.
But if they were to write down their practices,
Share their practices,
Communicate it with the masses,
It becomes indoctrinated.
It becomes written.
It becomes instruction.
And if that instruction is code,
Not truth,
Then it's apt for misinterpretation.
I think you can see where I'm going with this.
But on the positive side of this,
If you take a step back from it all and look for the commonalities,
You start to get a very broad-stroke picture of a unified truth expressed differently.
If you add enough different ways to express the same truth,
Even with the flawed language,
Things start to come clear.
It seems to me that all of it is pointing to the same truth.
The Tao Te Ching describes the Tao as undefinable,
Undescribable,
And then it proceeds to have a collection of statements attempting to do just that.
The Buddhists talk about the no-self,
The empty space,
And also talk about enlightenment.
Deists,
People who believe in God,
And I'm saying any God,
Will believe there are ways to feel the bliss of the connection,
The Holy Spirit,
So to speak.
There are plenty of traditions of psychology that talk about becoming a self-actualized,
Balanced person.
Happy,
Right?
And each practice gives a different approach to doing so.
Meditate in this way,
Reframe your thoughts in that way,
Do this sort of process,
Regulate yourself in this way.
But I can't help but feel it's all pointing to the same truth.
The language that I use draws from internal family systems.
It's yet another theory,
But it's one that seems to be the most resonant.
I am not a trained expert in internal family systems,
But I draw a lot of what I do and the way that I work with people and the things that I present from it.
Simply put,
Internal family systems holds that at our core there is a sense of self.
The word they use is self,
And I think it's the same place that people talk about as connection to the divine,
As our intuition,
As our inner guide,
As consciousness,
Manifest,
Whatever you call it.
But they hold that the self has a number of features or qualities.
It's compassionate,
It's curious,
It's courageous,
It's clear,
It's creative,
It's connected,
It's confident,
It's calm.
It has patience,
Playfulness,
Persistence,
Perspective,
And presence.
They claim that this self is untaintable.
It's always there,
And it knows the best way to heal.
Now,
The theory gets deeper and talks about different parts and aspects.
And,
You know,
As life happens,
These parts might take over,
Or you might become blended with them.
You might push the self aside and forget that it exists.
It's a whole process of healing,
But the process of healing is to extensively get into the self and let the self heal the parts and bring the internal family back together,
So to speak.
There's far more to the theory than that.
But the reason I'm bringing all of this up is,
Like all of everything else,
It is yet another model of the way.
It is yet another encoded understanding of internal reality.
I'm constantly discovering new ways of reframing.
I had a conversation with a therapist in training the other day,
And he was saying that he listened to someone reframing sadness and depression as grief.
You know,
You are grieving a life that you didn't get to live.
You are grieving what you've lost,
Not necessarily from losing someone,
Someone passing away,
But grieving your childhood,
Grieving an opportunity missed,
So to speak.
That's an amazing reframe.
But once again,
That's just yet another model.
Once again,
You're using the words grief and depression and sadness as a label for something beyond those basic words.
The word happiness is a label for a collection of feelings,
Right?
And what I mean by happiness and what you mean by happiness is not the same.
So I say all of that to say this,
There is a risk of falling into a specific line of thinking,
A tradition,
A religion,
A therapeutic practice,
A modality,
And disregarding other people's beliefs,
Modalities,
Traditions,
Et cetera,
Et cetera,
Because they use different language.
And particularly when your thing,
Whatever it is,
Claims to be the only truth,
Claims to have all the answers,
Claims or outright states that other people's beliefs are false.
But to me,
It seems like all of these traditions have and practices and theories have all come about as,
You know,
Theories and practices and traditions have all come about as a function of,
Or a natural evolution of the human condition.
And,
You know,
Once again,
If you step back,
Sort of blur your eyes,
So to speak,
Look for shared truths,
You will find wisdom in it all.
So I encourage you to do just that.
Take a breath,
Step back,
And almost consider,
You know,
Everything is the guru,
Everything is the mentor,
Everything is the teacher,
All is mantra,
So to speak.
Tat Tvamasi,
I am that,
The knowing,
The knower,
And the known is one.
Getting a little bit metaphysical here,
But it really does feel like language is a flawed vessel of communication,
But the felt sense of reality,
The sense of the self,
To use the internal family systems language,
Connection and conveyed to other people,
Like that's the way forward.
You know,
Read,
Engross yourself in as much different theory as possible,
As much different practices and traditions as possible,
And feel the felt sense,
The lived experience of truth.
And the broader your knowledge,
The broader your information,
The broader your understanding and exposure,
The more language you have,
And thus the better picture you can paint,
Regardless of how flawed it is.
The reason I study so widely and broadly is that if I come into contact with someone,
My way to work with that person,
The way to deliver sessions,
The way to connect,
The way to do these sort of talks that we're doing now,
Is for me to get into the sense of self,
So to speak,
And to have a broad understanding of different traditions and practices and spiritualities and all of these things,
So that I have the language to communicate with people at their level,
Through their lens,
Using examples and analogies and metaphors that resonate and land for them.
Right?
Get into the self,
Connect,
Express and share.
Let me know what you think of that,
And how this one resonates,
Because it's an interesting topic.
Either way,
I'll see you in the next session.
Catch up.
