Happiness Comes From Dropping All Expectations

Beginning with a guided full body scan and relaxation, this track opens us up to an wisdom and guidance as we contemplate the question ‘What if you dropped all expectations of everyone, including yourself?’ By allowing the answers to arise, we start to uncover any blocks that are present and begin to discover the wisdom lying within. This track is taken from my course, 'Discover Your Divine Purpose', available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the session.

I invite you to take a seat or lay down and just get yourself nice and comfortable.

You can close down the eyes if you wish and just take three deep slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.

As we settle into this session we're going to progressively relax our body but prime our minds to contemplate.

You're going to gently,

Gradually scan your body,

Just looking for places of tension,

For places of confliction,

Energy and build-ups and as you're gently scanning your body and when you notice one of these places of tension,

Just observe it,

Breathe into this space and allow it to unfold.

You might try saying to it,

It's okay,

I accept you,

What do you need to tell me?

You might try gently tensing and relaxing those muscles,

And you might try taking some slow deep breaths into that space,

Just visualizing healing energy,

Radiant,

Beautiful color streaming down from the heavens or out through your heart and into that space,

Covering it entirely,

Completely,

Beautifully,

Just allowing those points of tension to unravel,

To loosen.

Just relax your head and your face,

Unclench your jaw,

Drop your shoulders,

Release any tension in your arms,

Your fingers,

Just keep breathing slowly and deeply,

Release any tension you discover in your chest,

In your belly,

In your back,

In your groin,

Just drop any tension in your legs,

In your calves,

In your feet,

Keep breathing in slowly and deeply and begin to open up your mind to possibility,

To potential.

We want to be supple,

Flexible and adaptive,

Open to possibility and potential.

We want to allow ourselves access to wisdom of the universe,

Of God,

Of our muse,

Of our intuitions,

Of our past lineages,

For whatever place or space that we draw our eternal power from,

We're opening ourselves up for the next few minutes,

Just allowing that to flow through us,

To guide us,

To teach us,

To show us something that we were otherwise unaware of.

And in a moment,

I'm going to repeat a question to you two times,

I'm just going to sit in silence and let the potential answers unfold.

What if you dropped all expectations of everyone,

Including yourself?

What if you dropped all expectations of everyone,

Including yourself?

So they say that expectations is the killer of happiness,

And I agree.

The more that I contemplate this question,

The more I realize that I hold far too many expectations of everyone,

Myself in particular.

You know,

How many times have I been upset over something that I've made up in my head?

I've had an idea that someone should act or do or be something,

But I've not expressed that to that person.

They have not expressed it to me.

It's not an expectation based on their role.

Really,

The only thing that is happening is that I've made up something in my mind,

And then I've tried to apply it externally.

And it's unfair,

Because how can that person live up to an expectation that they don't even know I have of them?

That makes me wonder.

It makes me wonder how often I've got subtle expectations of people.

How often,

Throughout all my life,

I'm just wandering around with expectations of people.

Just a quick reflection makes me realize that it's almost constantly.

Almost every interaction I'm having with people,

I'm putting expectations of them to be or do or say certain things.

And inevitably,

They're not going to live up to those expectations.

Big or small,

There'll be a disparity.

So the moment I'm putting an expectation on someone else,

It's the same moment that I'm causing myself unhappiness.

But then I also come back at that and go,

Well,

I would like to be able to have expectations of people,

Because I want to be treated well.

I don't want to be treated like,

You know,

A doormat.

I don't want to be used.

So I guess it's a matter of,

Maybe it's like a loose,

Strong expectations loosely held.

I wonder.

Because it's a matter of threading that needle,

Isn't it?

Maybe it's about having a line,

A line in the sand.

It's like,

Okay,

This is how I will be treated.

This is what I expect,

Right?

And giving people the rope to decide how they'll treat me.

And then being pleasantly surprised when people treat me well.

That's one way to look at this.

The other part my mind's going to is negative expectations.

Because what if I expect someone to act a certain way,

A negative way,

And then they don't?

If I'm expecting someone to act a certain way,

And it's negative,

I'll often be projecting my negativity upon them.

They will pick up on that,

And they will act in accordance to those feelings.

You know,

If someone looks at you in a way that seems aggressive,

Or angry,

Or upset,

Or,

You know,

Insert negative emotion here,

They get that response back.

Because people get wary,

We pick up on those signs.

That's what we've designed to,

You know,

Evolved whatever to do.

But if I didn't have such expectations of them,

They'd be free to be who and what they are,

To prove me wrong.

Once again,

My mind goes to that place of safety.

I need to look after myself.

But I guess it's a matter of knowing when and where to remember when I've been burnt,

And to deal with that accordingly.

But I guess not apply that globally.

Just because I've been hurt once,

Doesn't mean I'll be hurt again.

Just because this person has hurt me once,

Doesn't mean they'll hurt me again.

Might.

I will learn.

But I won't have expectations.

And the final part of this question is,

Including myself,

What if I dropped all expectations of myself?

And to me,

This is powerful.

I feel a release in my body,

Just saying that,

Just dropping the expectations.

Because there's certain requirements for life,

You know,

Earning enough money to pay the bills,

Requirements of being a parent,

Employee,

Family member,

Friend,

Whatever.

But there's all these hidden expectations that you have on yourself,

To be a certain weight,

To do certain routines,

To be something,

To dress a certain way,

To act a certain way,

To be something that I'm not necessarily feeling like I am all the time,

All the time,

Every time,

Right?

So I wonder,

Is it possible that I can drop those expectations?

And what would that mean?

It would mean that I'd feel freer.

I'd feel freer to be who and what I am in this moment.

I could go outside and sit in the sun for half an hour and just read a book.

Because I'm not expecting myself to just work,

Work,

Work.

I can enjoy my sun smile.

I could relax.

I could break bad habits.

I could change.

If I was to drop expectations,

I'd be free to explore a new possibility.

So I wonder,

What would happen if you dropped all expectations of everyone,

Including yourself?

Well done.

This brings us to the end of the session.

At the bottom of your screen,

You'll see an option to view the classroom or to ask a question.

Before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,

To read the answers from other students and to hear my replies.

Remember to start your responses with session number one,

Or to repeat the question,

What if you dropped all expectations of everyone,

Including yourself?

So we know which one you're referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight.

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This track was taken from the course,

Questions to heal your soul.

It's out now on insight timer and available via my profile.

I invite you to join in.

Reviews

I agree on letting go of all expectations of others. I try to come back to: I’m very grateful to be alive. Happy to be breathing getting to live this life’s experience.

Suffering is that distance between expectation and perceived reality. I have been using that idea a lot, for myself and in simplifying what appears to me to be anger, disappointment, hurt, etc. from others. It diffuses upset for me immediately.

Session 1
I look forward to more sessions as these-this one made me realize I have expectations from people and did not realize it until now. (Including myself)