Finding Space For The Things That Uplift You

In this session, we contemplate the need to create space in our lives for things that uplift us - by 'filling our cup' we are able to continue working, giving, and being our best selves in this world. We talk about the practical, mental, and spiritual components of this process.

This track is taken from my course, ‘Awaken To Your Highest Calling’, available now via my profile.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the session.

I invite you to take a seat or lie down and get yourself comfortable.

You can close down the eyes if you wish and take a deep slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.

In a moment I'm going to share with you a question to contemplate and then we'll just sit in silence for a minute and let it percolate.

Then we'll talk about that question and just see where the discussion leads us.

This question and indeed all of the questions in this course are designed to be a catalyst for change,

A prompt that will help you to reframe your thinking,

Help you to consider new possibilities and approaches and to usher you in a state of being that is more attuned with your highest calling.

I invite you to approach the question with an attitude of extreme openness.

One,

Where for the duration of the session you welcome in and accept any and all responses that arise.

There are no right or wrong answers,

No good or bad thoughts and nothing for you to run from or move towards.

Just be open to whatever arises as it is for what it is in this moment.

By doing so you'll be opening yourself up to the deepest and truest expression of wisdom and intuition available to you.

So let's take a moment and just sit with today's question.

What can you do to create space for things that uplift you?

What can you do to create space for things that uplift you?

So this idea,

This question,

Can you create space for things that uplift you?

Really speak to the idea of filling the cup.

You know,

We often find ourselves giving.

If you're a parent,

You're always giving to your child.

When you're working,

No matter what work you do,

You're giving to your job.

Even if you're working to yourself,

For yourself,

You are giving to the job,

To the world.

You're producing something of value,

A product or a service and you're giving.

You know,

Getting meta for a second here,

This is what I'm doing now.

I am creating something,

Giving it to the world.

But can I create space for things that uplift me?

So the meta meta answer is if you can live a life,

Live a work life,

A home life,

A family life,

A social life,

It's all interconnected and all uplifts you,

Then you're golden,

Right?

That's like that Japanese idea of Ikagi.

It's work that is uplifting,

That's valuable,

It's paid for,

That makes you feel good.

It's like the ideal job.

But the reality of the fact is that no matter what you're doing for work,

There will be parts of it that are not that fun,

Parts of it that are a bit of a drag,

Things about it that you don't quite like.

So it's unrealistic to expect that you'll ever get to a space where everything you do is good.

Just from a practical perspective,

That won't work and life throws spanners in the works.

So regardless of what happens and regardless of what you do,

You will need to find and create space for things that uplift you.

You need to fill the cup between activities.

You need to put things back in so that you can then give more.

Now,

What and how you put those things back in will be different and unique for you.

So we're going to get practical for a little bit,

But then we're going to get this inner permission and a more spiritual approach to this question.

So from a practical perspective first,

How can you give yourself or create the space for things that uplift you?

You've got 24 hours in a day.

A third of that,

Eight to nine hours,

You will be asleep,

Preparing for sleep.

Roughly eight to nine hours you're at work and the rest of the time you're at play.

Now,

That's a basic split and obviously that doesn't work for everyone.

People have less time,

More time,

I get it.

But find those splits and those numbers that is true for you and then work with it because you're going to have to find and create space for things that work and uplift you.

What does it mean to be uplifted?

Well,

Before you can be uplifted,

You need to be regulated.

Now,

I am a strong advocate of a morning time routine,

Something you do in the morning,

Every morning without fail that sort of locks in some of that base level self-care.

For me,

That is meditation and exercise.

They are musts,

A must do because for me,

Those things help regulate me but importantly,

They also help move me on an upward trend for life.

It's not just meditation,

It's not just exercise for their own sakes.

Those two activities help other aspects of my life,

Longevity,

Health,

Mental state,

Clarity,

Calmness,

All of those things.

I encourage you to implement a morning time routine that has self-care in it,

Something that uplifts you.

That's one thing I'll consider implementing if you haven't already.

The second thing would be to consider how to create space for things that uplift you by looking at what you can cut.

Now,

The biggest thing that I think to cut is television,

Random Netflix,

Random YouTube,

Random social media.

We talked about it in another session but the amount of time we commit to these activities can be quite extreme.

Now,

I'm not saying you need to cut it all out completely but can you find some space in that downtime to do things that uplift you?

Rather than watching three episodes,

Can you watch two episodes?

Rather than scrolling for half an hour,

Can you scroll for 15 minutes?

Find some space in there to do the things that you need to do.

Now,

That's how you could find space for that morning time routine.

That's how you could find space to do other things throughout the day that need to be done.

The cooking,

The cleaning,

The self-care,

The house maintenance.

That does end up making you feel good.

If you walk into a house and it's clean,

If you look at your yard and it's done,

If your room is well made and done up,

If things are put away,

You tend to feel a bit better.

That's psychologically proven that if you live in a clean environment,

Clean room,

Clean house,

Clean mind.

But you've got to find and dedicate that time.

Now,

I've talked in another course,

The Cultivated Daily Meditation Practice,

About habit building.

So I won't go into it too much here.

But if you want to implement a habit,

I suggest you start small,

Notch up those wins over time and gradually increase the amount of time you're doing stuff.

So for the meditation example,

It could be a one-minute meditation,

A one-minute exercise session,

And then one minute of cleaning.

Sounds ridiculous,

But one minute is infinitely better than no minutes.

Yeah?

Don't you wish you'd done one minute every day of push-ups or sit-ups or squats?

How fit would you be if you just did one minute a day more than what you're doing right now?

And if it's more than zero,

My goodness,

Right?

Same thing with meditation.

Just one mindful breath is infinitely better than nothing.

So you can carve out some of these times.

You can come out some of this space to create space for things that uplift you.

You just have to get through that initial grit of changing.

You've got to break that habit.

But the practical application of making these changes,

Making space,

Really comes down to or can be blocked by the inner permission,

The spiritual ideal,

This internal opening up to allowing things to uplift you.

How do you feel about the idea of doing something for yourself?

Does it feel selfish?

How do you feel about the idea of relaxing,

Of doing a loving kindness activity towards yourself?

Are you open to that idea?

Does that sort of concept scare you?

Does it bother you?

Have you given yourself the inner permission to even be able to do things in your real life that can uplift you?

I know when I speak to some people about this,

They push back with this feeling of,

Oh,

I don't deserve it.

I don't deserve to feel uplifted.

I deserve to be pushing and grinding.

There's too much other things that I need to do this.

They tend to push themselves down and put other things and other people and sort of everything else first,

Even when it's not necessary,

Even when putting themselves first would build themselves back up and they'll be able to fill that cup and therefore be able to better help other people.

It's like they've got this block about helping themselves.

Maybe it comes from a past where people haven't helped them look after themselves or acknowledged that they even had their own needs.

Maybe it's from certain partners or parents or school systems or whatever,

But they struggle to create space for the things that they need that would uplift them,

Even internally,

Struggle to create space for the idea of a need for an inner uplifting,

Let alone an outer uplifting.

In case you are wondering,

In case it is unclear,

You deserve to be happy,

To be calm,

To be safe,

To be content,

To have a cup that is full just as much as anyone and everyone else.

You deserve it just as much as everyone and anyone else.

The inherent fact of your existence warrants that,

Just to be clear here.

Now,

For some people,

This will just be like,

Well,

Duh,

Of course.

It's a matter of practical solutions of working out a routine and cutting down some TV time,

Yada,

Yada.

If that's you,

Great.

Go for it.

Get started.

Create that space.

Do things to fill your own cup.

Create that space.

Just do it.

But I would suggest and hazard a guess that a lot of you would be practically able to create that space.

They'll be able to tweak some stuff to their routine,

Add some meditation in,

Do a morning routine,

All of that sort of stuff,

Exercise,

Maybe take more breaks,

Do the stuff that they need to do to uplift themselves,

Add some art to their day,

Some reading,

Whatever it is.

But they're not because of an inner block.

I do a lot of work with clients about shadow work,

About uncovering our deep,

Dark parts of ourselves and the things that we've got hangups with from our past,

Inner child work.

A lot of these things put up blocks.

It's like,

Here's a block around financial about success.

Here's a block about self-worth.

Here's a block about relaxation.

All of these blocks come up and until you look at them,

Notice them,

Be aware of them,

Accept them,

Reintegrate them,

They sit there and they stop you.

Perhaps I'm arguing if this session is feeling a bit uncomfortable touching upon something here,

There may be a block there.

What I'd like to suggest you try is to just take the next 15 seconds just to look back and try and find where this feeling of block,

This not wanting to uplift yourself,

This lack of feeling worthy of relaxation,

Calm,

Happiness,

Uplifting contentment sits.

Find the earliest memory.

Find that earliest memory and just offer that space,

A listening ear and a loving hug and some advice from an older and wiser version of you.

This is like shadow work and going into that space,

But just let's take the next 15 seconds to just sit and see if we can find the earliest part of ourselves.

Now,

15 seconds isn't much time,

But you're invited to play in that space as much as possible,

But let's just sit and see if we can feel that space and then offer it a listening ear and a loving hug and some advice.

So,

I invite you if you found something inside you,

An earlier memory,

After this session to go back to that and go deeper.

Is there an even earlier memory?

Is there an even earlier memory of still where you felt this feeling of this pushback from things or moving towards things that uplift you,

From being happy,

From having your needs met?

Where's that earliest memory?

Listen to that part of you.

Offer it loving kindness.

Offer it some advice and come back to it until you've found this integration where that part of you is reconnected into you and hopefully by doing so,

This block will have shifted.

So,

With that said,

I ask you,

What can you do to create space for things that uplift you?

What can you do to create space for things that uplift you?

What can you do to create space for things that uplift you?

So,

Well done.

At the bottom of your screen you'll see an option to view the classroom or to ask a question.

Before moving on,

I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights,

To read the answers from other students and to hear my replies.

Remember to state your responses by restating the question so we all know which one you're referring to.

This is an opportunity for deep learning,

Further introspection and insight,

So please don't miss out.

I look forward to seeing you in the next session.

Thank you.

This session was taken from the course Awaken to Your Highest Calling.

It's out now and available on Insight Timer via my profile.

Check it out.