Fight For Yourself

In this session we discuss one of the principles of taking yourself from surviving to thriving: "Fight For Yourself" - Highlighting how we must be the one to stand up for ourselves, to push for what we need (and want) and to ensure that we are not taken advantage of.

Transcript

Fight for yourself.

So I come from Australia.

In Australia there's a saying or an idea of the tall poppy syndrome.

You don't want to be the flower that is rising above all of the others because it will get cut down.

You don't want to do more than the average.

You don't want to speak up.

You don't want to become something great because that will set you apart.

That will make you noticeable.

That will be too egotistical.

That will be you standing up for yourself and not just getting along with it.

And it's a bit of a warning.

It's a bit of a guidance.

It's saying,

Hey,

You know,

Don't get too ahead of yourself.

Hey,

You know,

Check your ego.

You know,

Put all of that at the door.

Life's not so serious sort of thing.

And I think this feeling translates to a lot of different societies.

And for some people,

This feeling can be quite crippling,

Particularly when it's added to a challenging past where we've been indoctrinated to believe that we are worth less than others,

That we are worthless,

That who we are,

What we are,

What we need,

What we want isn't viable as a thing to strive towards.

We become someone who placates others,

Someone who becomes like a doormat,

Someone who lives an existence to please other people while not quite taking action for themselves.

If you want to take yourself from surviving to thriving,

You have to fight for it.

And I don't mean fight as in physically,

But I mean almost an internal fight against your own conditioning.

Maybe you were led to believe that people like you,

Aka your gender,

Your race,

Your ethnicity,

Or certain aspects of your physical or mental health conditions,

Whatever,

Shouldn't do certain things,

Don't deserve certain things.

I know that that's true for me.

Like I said,

I moved out of home quite young.

I had a challenging childhood,

And I've been facing and fighting the internal contradictions and battles of that upbringing ever since.

I can't speak to your conditioning,

But I guarantee you it's there.

I guarantee you if you close your eyes and think about who you are and what sort of person you are,

There will be layers of conditioning placed upon it.

And that is true for everyone,

Just the way and the layers are different.

But either way,

You have to fight for yourself,

Fight for you beyond the label,

Fight for you beyond whatever category the world,

Or your past,

Or your parents,

Or society,

Or religion,

Or everything else puts you into.

Fight back against that inner voice of conditioning that is speaking the words that were once spoken to you.

This is hard.

It's hard to do,

Because it's almost like you're rewriting the code that is the operating system that is your mind.

And the first thing to do of that is to know and accept that you've got that code.

You didn't choose it,

But it's there.

The way you see the world will dictate how you operate in it.

Even the very language you speak.

We're speaking English right now.

We are in modernity.

It is the present moment.

But if you were raised in a different place,

Different space,

We would be speaking a different language.

And the conditioning would be subsequently different.

So who you are will be impacted and changed based on the society you were born up upon,

The language you speak,

The religions,

And the conditioning,

And the education,

Or lack thereof,

That you're exposed to.

How you were treated as a child,

Your position in the family,

All of that will impact you.

It's all a part of the conditioning.

But I want to suggest to you that there is something deeper than all of that.

There's something that is you,

The self beyond all of that.

And this is the self that I'm talking about fighting for.

When I say fight for yourself,

I almost want to put the words you're in brackets,

Fight for self,

The thing beyond all of that,

The observer,

The inner flame,

You at your core,

That part of you exists.

And you know that it is you.

When things feel resonant,

You get these chills,

And things sink into place,

And you feel curious,

And calm,

And compassionate,

And at peace.

For some people,

They sadly never access this space.

For others,

It's fleeting.

But for those that are moving closer to their goals,

That are moving closer to this sense of self,

That are moving towards thriving,

Those feelings become more and more apparent,

More and more strong.

Once you've felt these feelings,

Use it as an anchor,

A place inside you that you can sit with,

And move from and to,

A place of solace.

And defend that place.

If you know yourself,

If you're living honestly,

If you recognize that it is all on you,

You need to fight for that self.

This could be about establishing a rule set,

Or a moral code,

That has something in it about,

Perhaps informed,

Enthusiastic consent in all things.

The idea that you will only say yes,

If you are very happy to do it,

If you're excited to do it,

Whatever this is,

With people,

With events,

With work,

With life.

And if you're not that happy about it,

It's a no.

No,

I won't go out.

No,

I won't do that thing.

No,

I don't want you to come over.

No,

I'm choosing myself.

No is a complete sentence.

There is a risk of us doing things our entire life for other people,

And then coming to the end of our life,

And just realizing we've lived for other people.

This is your call to action,

To say,

Hey,

I'm going to fight for myself.

This is your call to action to say,

Hey,

I'm no longer going to be a doormat.

This is your call to action to find,

Discover,

Embrace,

And fan the flames that is the self.

Now,

I'm not in any way saying to be a person that takes advantage of other people here,

That puts yourself first over other people all the time.

That's not what I'm saying.

I'm just saying to find balance,

And we'll talk about that in a later session,

Balance in all things.

But a lot of people,

A lot of people put other people first when they shouldn't.

And this isn't selfish.

If you put other people first,

Eventually you break down,

Then you can't be there for other people that need you.

Put yourself first.

Take the steps you need to do to get yourself from surviving to thriving,

And then help other people get there as well.

Take a moment,

Take a breath,

Find the place in you,

Find the observer,

Find that inner flame,

Find the chills,

Sit in that space,

And just luxuriate in it,

Embrace it,

Embody it,

Be it.

And when you find yourself pulled by emotion,

Find yourself lost in thought and memory,

When you discover that you are no longer connected to it,

Take a breath,

Take a pause,

Take a moment,

Do what you need to do to get that sense of self back.

Because you'll find yourself pulled down the path of the past,

You'll find yourself drawn to other things,

You'll find yourself swayed off course.

But if you know that inner sense of self that anchor that point,

You can always come back to it.

You can always recover.

You'll always be able to start again,

And again,

And again,

Moving yourself back,

Not only from surviving,

But to thriving.

This track is taken from my course,

From Surviving to Thriving.

10 Principles to Turn Your Life Around.

It's out now and available on my InsightTimer profile.

I invite you to check it out.

Reviews

Thank you very much. Uplifting and inspiring. ‘No’ can be so hard. A timely reminder to say it sometimes.